TA •Chapter 93

I was the little ant.

What little ant?

The little ant from the little grasshopper and little dung beetle?

When Cheng Ke heard that, he was a little dazed. The spot on his face that had been smashed by the little ant's elbow still hurt, hot and burning.

But he had no room to pay attention to the pain.

The words Jiang Yuduo had thrown out when he ran past him, "It’s a little dog," made Cheng Ke's back go cold.

If this person really had been the little dog from back then, then all this time, whether it was hallucinations or his memories, Jiang Yuduo's fear had been hidden inside his head. But now, because of this little dog, it might suddenly all become real.

This was evidence that could turn every fear into something real at once.

Cheng Ke stared hard at Jiang Yuduo, while from the corner of his eye, he also watched that little ant.

He couldn't miss a single small movement or glance.

"…Little ant?" Jiang Yuduo asked softly after being stunned for a long time.

"Yeah," the little ant answered. "I'm the little ant."

Jiang Yuduo slowly let go of the hand gripping his collar, then stepped back and studied him from head to toe for a long time. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking for you for a long time," the little ant said. "I looked for a few people, and only found you. Xiao Zhuantou said before he killed himself that you might be here, but I… never dared come over."

"Why dare now?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

The little ant looked at him and smiled, but said nothing.

After a while, Jiang Yuduo spoke again. "Have you eaten?"

"Haven't eaten since yesterday," the little ant replied.

Jiang Yuduo glanced at Cheng Ke, hesitated for a few seconds. "I'll take you to get something to eat."

"Okay." The little ant lowered his head and tugged at his clothes, nodding without any politeness at all.

Cheng Ke wanted to say something, but didn't get the chance. This little ant had a style somewhat similar to Jiang Yuduo's, but also very different, and Cheng Ke couldn't quite put his finger on how.

"Go buy cigarettes," Jiang Yuduo said quietly to Cheng Ke.

"No." Cheng Ke refused simply and directly. Under these circumstances, there was no way he was leaving Jiang Yuduo alone with this little ant, who basically represented Jiang Yuduo's dark childhood. Not even for a second.

Jiang Yuduo looked at him, and didn't say anything else.

The little ant must have been starving. Jiang Yuduo casually found a small restaurant nearby, and as soon as he walked in, he swallowed.

Jiang Yuduo ordered a few dishes and didn't ask for alcohol.

The little ant probably didn't need alcohol either. He piled a large bowl of rice, pressed it down, then added another spoonful before starting to eat with his head down, not saying a word.

It was still earlier than their usual dinner time, and Cheng Ke didn't feel hungry yet. Plus, with the little ant eating like that, neither he nor Jiang Yuduo picked up their chopsticks. Maybe they were both worried the few dishes wouldn't be enough for him.

After eating three big bowls of rice and clearing every dish, the little ant finally wiped his mouth. "I'm full. Got any cigarettes?"

Jiang Yuduo took the cigarettes and lighter from his pocket and set them in front of him.

The little ant took one, lit it, and took a few hard drags. He put the cigarette pack into his own pocket, then glanced at Jiang Yuduo. "I came here and didn't dare ask around either, so I just kept looking. It took me almost two months, I think, and finally I ran into you."

"It was you following me before, right?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Mm," the little ant exhaled a mouthful of smoke. "I was already forgetting what you looked like. I only remembered the scar on your face, so I had to make sure first. When you chased after me just now, I knew it had to be you. The only one who could run faster than me was you."

Jiang Yuduo said nothing.

The little ant took two more drags, then looked at Cheng Ke. "Is this your friend? You’ve really done well for yourself."

Cheng Ke was just about to speak when Jiang Yuduo answered before him. "My landlord."

"Mm." Cheng Ke immediately followed along and agreed.

He figured Jiang Yuduo had his own judgment, so he cooperated quickly, even if the excuse of "landlord" wasn't any more clever than the one he used before in front of his mom.

The little ant smiled.

Jiang Yuduo paid the bill. The little ant left the restaurant with them and didn't say where he was going, or what he wanted from Jiang Yuduo. He just followed silently until they reached the intersection.

"Where do you live?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Where else can I live," the little ant said. "I don't even have money for meals. How could I afford a room?"

Cheng Ke glanced at him. The little ant was fairly neat and clean. In weather like this, if someone hadn't showered for a few days, they would definitely smell, but Cheng Ke didn't catch any odor from him.

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo answered and turned around. "Then I'll head back first."

"Jiang Yuduo," the little ant called out to stop him. "Let me crash at your place for a while. I'll leave later tonight."

Jiang Yuduo looked back. "No."

"Why not?" The little ant didn't seem surprised by the answer. His face stayed blank. He just tilted his head. "At least we suffered together once. It wouldn't be too much to let me rest at your place for a bit, would it?"

"No." Jiang Yuduo repeated himself.

When Cheng Ke walked back with him, the little ant didn't follow.

Jiang Yuduo walked in silence, pretty fast, and Cheng Ke glanced back.

The little ant was still standing at the restaurant entrance, a cigarette between his lips. He stared steadily in their direction from far away. When Cheng Ke looked back, he exhaled a plume of smoke.

"Were you going to buy cigarettes?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Mm." Cheng Ke said, "I can buy them tomorrow too. You still have some over there, right?"

"Go buy them now. It's fine," Jiang Yuduo said.

After buying cigarettes, Jiang Yuduo didn't have the老板 send wine over to the house. He and Cheng Ke each carried a case of beer back.

When they passed the lottery shop, Cheng Ke still went in and bought one ticket so he wouldn't miss the date.

"You're really stingy," Jiang Yuduo clicked his tongue. "Even Chen Qing wouldn't only buy one ticket."

"Chen Qing's counting on this to get rich," Cheng Ke said.

"What numbers did you buy?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Nothing fixed, I buy whatever comes to mind," Cheng Ke said with a smile.

"Then your odds of winning are even lower than Chen Qing finding a girlfriend within this year," Jiang Yuduo said.

When they got home and stepped into the hallway, Jiang Yuduo looked left and right along the road outside before going in. After they entered, he locked the door.

"What's wrong?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Being careful," Jiang Yuduo said, walking to the window and looking out.

"That little ant," Cheng Ke frowned. "Was he really the little dog? You guys were… together when you were kids?"

"Mm," Jiang Yuduo nodded. He carried the beer into the kitchen and lined the cans up one by one in the fridge. "He was abducted. When he came, he was maybe four years old, very little. He didn't even remember where he came from, and the police looked for his family for a long time but couldn't find them."

"Then…" Cheng Ke didn't know what he should ask.

He could tell that Jiang Yuduo's meeting with the little ant was not like the kind where two kids had endured darkness together and struggled to survive side by side. Aside from the startle when he heard the three words "little ant," he hadn't felt any emotion connected to "long time no see" or "we survived hardship together" because of the little ant's appearance.

On the contrary, it was tension and caution.

Cheng Ke's impression of the little ant wasn't good. The little ant was slightly thinner than Jiang Yuduo, and his fighting ability was on par with Jiang Yuduo's. Cheng Ke felt that if, when he grabbed the little ant earlier, the guy hadn't run and instead had fought back head-on, he definitely would have gotten hurt.

The fighting ability was one thing, but the key was his gaze and the aura he gave off. It was nothing like Jiang Yuduo's.

No matter how fierce Jiang Yuduo was, no matter how much of a thug he acted like, he would never be like the little ant, with that sinister look carrying killing intent. Not the kind of killing intent that came from being the boss around here and ready to beat you up if you provoked him, but the kind that said he really would kill someone.

"Little dogs are all dangerous," Jiang Yuduo took out an ice pack, wrapped it in a towel, and pressed it gently against Cheng Ke's face. "They huddle together every day to keep warm, but they can also attack anyone at any moment."

The chill on Cheng Ke's face was intense, and goose bumps rose all over his back.

"Then what do you think… this little ant came looking for you for?" he asked.

"I don't know," Jiang Yuduo frowned. "He said he couldn't find the other little dogs, only found me."

"If that's true, then he was looking for little dogs, not specifically looking for you, right?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo opened a can of beer and took a sip.

"What was he looking for the little dogs for?" Cheng Ke frowned. "It's been so many years."

"Maybe he's been looking all these years," Jiang Yuduo said with a smile. His hand shook, and beer spilled all over Miao.

"And he never found them… no, he did find Xiao Zhuantou."

Cheng Ke stared at his hand for a while, then walked over and took the beer can out of his hand, grabbing his hand in the process.

Sure enough, Jiang Yuduo's hand was trembling.

Cheng Ke tensed up. He crouched quickly in front of him and touched his face. "Jiang Yuduo."

"I'm a little… scared," Jiang Yuduo said with a tight frown, looking up at him. "He said it was before Xiao Zhuantou killed himself."

"You think he's connected to… that little dog's suicide?" Cheng Ke asked.

"I don't know. It wouldn't be strange for any little dog to want to die," Jiang Yuduo said. "Living is the hardest part."

"So what do you think now, about this little leech… little ant," Cheng Ke said, "how do you want to handle him? Do you want your people watching him?"

"No." Jiang Yuduo shook his head quickly. "He'd notice. He's not ordinary. If Dabin and the others watched him, they'd be found out in less than ten minutes. Too dangerous… I don't even know how he found me, or how long he followed me."

They hadn't eaten dinner earlier, and now they still didn't know where the little ant was hiding or what he intended to do, so they didn't go out to eat either. Cheng Ke ordered a few dishes to be delivered and they ate at home.

Jiang Yuduo's mood remained fairly stable. He didn't blow up, and he didn't hallucinate, but he stayed afraid.

The old Jiang Yuduo had been afraid too, but it was different. Back then, when facing fear, Jiang Yuduo seemed to wear armor. That armor was like a scar over a wound that kept getting injured, made of pain and fear themselves. But now, that layer of armor had been taken off.

The Jiang Yuduo in front of him was obviously much more fragile, but also much more real.

Cheng Ke stayed curled up with Jiang Yuduo on the sofa all night watching TV. He knew Jiang Yuduo wasn't really watching. He was keeping track of what was happening outside the window and in the backyard. Even if Miao licked Xiao Duan beside him, Jiang Yuduo would glance over.

But Cheng Ke's state was pretty much the same. He was on edge too.

When it was time to sleep, Jiang Yuduo carried Miao into the bedroom, shut the door, locked it, and placed several beer cans on the windowsill and under the bedroom door, all leaning at an angle so that even the slightest movement would knock them over.

Jiang Yuduo sat by the bedside table and took his medicine.

Cheng Ke knew that aside from the medicine he normally needed, he had also taken an extra sleeping pill, so he reached out and rubbed his back. "Afraid you won't be able to sleep?"

"Mm," Jiang Yuduo lay down. "I don't want to keep my eyes open all night, but if something happens at night, I should be able to wake up."

"I know." Cheng Ke smiled and rolled over to hug him.

The little ant didn't come that night, and he didn't appear again the next day either. Things stayed calm until Jiang Yuduo's birthday.

The only thing that wasn't calm was Chen Qing.

Starting at ten in the morning, he called every half hour to ask what time they were coming to pick them up at noon.

After Brother Three disappeared on his travels for several months, his birthday had to be a big deal. They had to start eating from noon, eat again at night, and the late-night snacks afterward couldn't be left out either.

At first, Cheng Ke hadn't been thinking of spending this birthday alone with Jiang Yuduo, but he also hadn't expected it to start from noon.

"Fuck, just change your birthday," he said with a sigh while sitting on the bed. Last night they had gone at it pretty hard, and today he had originally wanted to sleep until afternoon, but their eternal guardian had successfully swept away all his sleepiness and left him nothing but residue. "Your birthday was picked arbitrarily anyway."

Jiang Yuduo got up with a smile and put on his clothes. "Why don't we check what my lunar birthday is? Then we can celebrate that privately every year."

"Sure," Cheng Ke clapped his hands. "I think that's a great idea."

"Where's my present?" Jiang Yuduo stood in front of him. "I thought you'd give it to me at midnight."

"I did want to give it to you at midnight," Cheng Ke clicked his tongue. "What were we doing at midnight, you don't know?"

"Then you still didn't give it to me after we were done," Jiang Yuduo said.

"After we were done, you were sleeping like a pig!" Cheng Ke glared at him. "Why the hell would I give it then!"

"You didn't even give me a fart," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Shut up, I'm warning you." Cheng Ke said.

"Present." Jiang Yuduo said.

"Wait there!" Cheng Ke put on his clothes and got out of bed.

"Where am I waiting?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"In the living room, sit up straight and wait," Cheng Ke said.

That bottle of strawberry wine, Cheng Ke had kept in a yogurt box and left it right in the most obvious spot in the fridge. Jiang Yuduo had somehow never noticed.

He took the strawberry wine out of the yogurt box, then took out a gift box he'd already bought and hidden in the cupboard, and carefully placed the wine inside.

The color of the wine was a little different from before. The clear red was beautiful, and paired with the black ribbon tied around the bottle, it looked very upscale, clearly nothing like some off-the-shelf supermarket product.

"Hurry up! Present!" Jiang Yuduo shouted from the living room.

"Coming!" Cheng Ke yelled back, picked up the tray, and walked out.

Jiang Yuduo was sitting properly at the table. When he saw Cheng Ke come out, he seemed about to stand, hesitated, and then kept sitting, his eyes fixed on the gift box in Cheng Ke's hands.

"What is it? Damn, this box alone has to be a few hundred yuan," Jiang Yuduo said excitedly, not stopping once. "Did you give me a box? Is there something in it? What is it? A watch? Or a phone? I actually do want to换 one, mine's a little laggy… It can't be cat food, right? Or a belt? Handmade?"

"Shut up," Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo immediately stopped mumbling.

Cheng Ke put the gift box on the table and pushed it in front of him. "Jiang Yuduo, happy birthday."

"Thank you." Jiang Yuduo wrapped both hands around the box and smiled at him.

"This is the first time the two of us have celebrated your birthday," Cheng Ke said. "So I put a little thought into it. I hope you like it."

"Mm, I like it," Jiang Yuduo said with a smile. "Can I open it?"

"Wait until I finish," Cheng Ke looked at him. "I hope every birthday you have from now on will be with me, and that I'll be in every birthday of yours…"

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo nodded.

Cheng Ke thought for a long time, but couldn't come up with what else to say next, so he had no choice but to wave his hand. "Open it."

Before he even finished speaking, Jiang Yuduo had already flipped the lid open with one hand and shouted, "Fuck! So pretty!"

"Looks good, right?" Cheng Ke asked with a smile.

"Looks good!" Jiang Yuduo carefully took out the bottle of wine and held it up to the light, giving it a shake. "What kind of paint did you use to mix this color? You artists and your colors…"

"Wait a second?" Cheng Ke stared at him. "Paint?"

"Ink?" Jiang Yuduo looked back at him too.

"Can you stay a little farther away from Chen Qing from now on?" Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo froze, then stared at the bottle for a few seconds more before suddenly springing up. "Strawberry wine? Really? Fuck! Is this strawberry wine?"

"Yeah." Cheng Ke answered.

"You really made strawberry wine?" Jiang Yuduo shook the bottle again. "Strawberry wine is actually this color! It's beautiful! You actually made strawberry wine? When did you make it? Why didn't I know!"

"After you ran off," Cheng Ke clicked his tongue.

Jiang Yuduo paused. He stared at the wine without saying anything. After a long while, he carefully put the bottle back into the gift box, then came over and wrapped his arms around Cheng Ke. "Cheng Ke."

"Mm?" Cheng Ke answered, gently rubbing his back.

"Thank you," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Saying thank you all the time isn't really your style," Cheng Ke said with a smile.

"I can't even imagine it, you actually really made strawberry wine," Jiang Yuduo held him tightly. "I thought you didn't remember anymore."

"I promised you," Cheng Ke said.

"Then promise me again, okay?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"Mm, promise you what?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Let's brew some sorghum liquor next year," Jiang Yuduo said.

"…Okay." Cheng Ke smiled helplessly and nodded.