TA • Chapter 15

Jiang Yuduo had gone through countless sleepless nights. Most of the time, he just lay there or sat in the dark with his eyes open by himself. Occasionally, he would call a few people and find somewhere to drink.

But those times were rare. Insomnia was not just the inability to fall asleep. It also brought all kinds of suffering, drowsiness, headaches, and random numbness and pain all over the body. So the better way to get through a sleepless night was to be alone.

He had never had an experience like this before, sitting at home with someone, talking through the middle of a sleepless night.

And this was someone who was completely on a different path from him, a wasted young master of unknown origin, someone he sometimes thought he could trust and other times thought was full of suspicious holes.

What was there to talk about?

He really could not think of a topic.

"Got any alcohol?" Cheng Ke asked.

"What kind do you want?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"…You only have one glass," Cheng Ke said. "In a situation like this, do I even get to choose?"

Jiang Yuduo did not answer. Cigarette between his teeth, he walked to the cabinet by the window, pulled open the door, then looked back at him. "Come pick one."

Cheng Ke froze for a moment, then got up and walked over to the cabinet. Looking at the rows of liquor packed so tightly they might as well have covered a wall, he could not say a word for a long time.

"I drink everything out of that same glass," Jiang Yuduo said, leaning against the wall. "You're not drinking the glass."

"Oh." Cheng Ke nodded.

"There isn't anything especially good," Jiang Yuduo said. "Just stuff my younger brothers bring over on holidays and festivals."

"I don't know anything about alcohol, so I wouldn't be able to tell good from bad anyway," Cheng Ke said. In the faint light coming through the curtains, he noticed a white porcelain bottle with nothing labeled on it. It looked like it had been around for years, so he picked it up with some curiosity. "What's this? Can you turn on the light?"

"Done crying?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

Cheng Ke did not answer. He very much wanted to grab the bottle and smash Jiang Yuduo over the head with it until he had three long and short-term memory losses or something.

Jiang Yuduo went over and turned on the light. The room lit up at once.

Cheng Ke could see clearly now that the bottle in his hand was indeed just an ordinary white porcelain bottle. A small piece of cotton cloth was tied over the mouth, and it had already gone a little gray.

He sniffed it, then turned to look at Jiang Yuduo. "Let's go with this one. It smells really…"

He had not felt anything unusual before, but the moment he turned and saw Jiang Yuduo under the bright light wearing only a pair of briefs, he suddenly did not know where to look.

"…Turn the light off," he said.

"Are you kidding me?" Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

"You could put on a little more clothes," Cheng Ke said. "Aren't you cold?"

"Not cold." Jiang Yuduo slowly went over and turned off the light again. "I can wash up with cold water in this weather."

Once the light was off, Cheng Ke immediately relaxed. He set the bottle on the table. "Is this liquor homemade?"

"Brought by Chen Qing," Jiang Yuduo said. He went into the kitchen and came back out with two bowls. "When his mom was pregnant, his dad wanted a daughter. He was convinced she was carrying a girl, so he buried a jar of wine and said he would dig it up and drink it when she turned eighteen, like a daughter's red."

Cheng Ke laughed. "That's not bad. Wine buried for more than ten years."

"Nope. When he was born and they saw he turned out like this, they dug it up that very same day," Jiang Yuduo said, taking a sealed container out of the fridge. "It stayed in the kitchen, next to the pickle jar, but it was there for more than ten years too."

"Have you had it before?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Yeah. Chen Qing brought it last month, and we drank it right away." Jiang Yuduo opened the bottle and filled both bowls, then pushed one toward Cheng Ke.

"How is it?" Cheng Ke leaned in and sniffed it. It smelled wonderful.

"Been sitting there for over ten years," Jiang Yuduo said. "Even a bottle of horse piss would probably smell good by now."

Cheng Ke glanced at him, feeling that his temper was honestly very good tonight. He actually did not get irritated.

Jiang Yuduo opened the sealed container and pushed it over too. "Smell this one too."

Cheng Ke sniffed it. "Air-dried beef?"

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo nodded. "How is it?"

"Very good." Without thinking, Cheng Ke grabbed a piece and shoved it straight into his mouth, chewing hard a couple of times.

From noon until now, he had only eaten a small piece of cake. He had originally thought he had already gotten past the hunger, but the moment he started chewing the beef, he realized that his insomnia was probably because he was starving out of his mind.

His stomach even cried out in tears.

Jiang Yuduo, who had just been reaching for the other bowl of wine, suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" Cheng Ke asked, a little awkwardly.

"I heard something," Jiang Yuduo said softly.

It was dark, so Cheng Ke could not make out his expression, but from his tone alone he could sense the vigilance on his face.

"Me." Cheng Ke cleared his throat. "My stomach, it growled…"

Before he could finish, his stomach growled again as if to prove him right. He was so embarrassed he wanted to fold himself flat onto the table.

"You…" Jiang Yuduo first seemed to let out a breath of relief, then looked surprised. "Even if it was bad, it couldn't give you diarrhea the second you ate it, could it?"

"I'm hungry," Cheng Ke said.

"Fuck, you're hungry like this and you didn't say so?" Jiang Yuduo grabbed his phone. "What do you want to eat? I'll have someone deliver it. But if you want fancy young-master midnight snacks, that might be hard. There's only barbecue this hour."

Cheng Ke said nothing. In the dark, a face suddenly lit up like that should have been a little horrifying, but for some reason, Jiang Yuduo's face, which usually was not exactly devastatingly handsome, actually held up under that pale, upward light.

By the time Jiang Yuduo started dialing, Cheng Ke snapped back to himself and hurriedly waved a hand over the screen. "No need! Beef jerky is fine!"

"No need?" Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

"Really, no need. By the time you get someone to deliver it, I'd already be full from the jerky." Cheng Ke was very glad this was not false politeness, but a perfectly solid reason.

"Fine then." Jiang Yuduo set the phone aside, picked up his bowl, and tapped it against Cheng Ke's before taking a sip of wine.

Cheng Ke no longer cared about appearance either. He ate four pieces of beef jerky in a row before stopping and taking a sip of wine.

The wine really was good, warm and smooth as it slid down into his stomach. He leaned back against the chair and let out a soft breath.

Jiang Yuduo sat across from him, slowly tearing at a piece of beef jerky little by little.

Because he could not see the expression on Jiang Yuduo's face, could not meet his gaze, and could not see the body in only a pair of briefs either, Cheng Ke did not feel any discomfort at the silence between them.

Only after Jiang Yuduo had finished tearing up one piece of beef jerky and drained half a bowl of wine did he ask, "Didn't you want to chat? What do you want to talk about?"

Right. What was there to talk about?

Cheng Ke had originally thought there would be quite a lot to say. With someone unfamiliar, someone he would never have had any contact with before, anything he said would carry a reckless sense of safety.

Just chatting, saying whatever came to mind. But Jiang Yuduo's sudden question was like a command to get ready, and Cheng Ke did not even know where to start.

"Do you have anything you want to talk about?" he asked.

"You're the one who wanted to chat in the middle of the night, and now you're asking me?" Jiang Yuduo said. "But if you want me to talk, I can."

"Mm." Cheng Ke looked toward him, able only to see the faint light on the bridge of his nose, straight and sharp.

"What I really want to talk about," Jiang Yuduo said, taking a sip of wine and then leaning over the table toward him, "is what the hell you came here for."

That again.

Cheng Ke did not even want to sigh anymore. "What do you think I came here for?"

"Who did you just see?" Jiang Yuduo was still leaning over the table, his lowered voice rough and faintly hoarse in a way that made people feel dazed.

To be honest, Jiang Yuduo had a very nice voice. If his topic were not so baffling right now, Cheng Ke would have wanted to praise him for it.

"Just now?" Cheng Ke asked.

"You were standing across the street," Jiang Yuduo said. "Who was the person you saw?"

"The person I saw?" Cheng Ke suddenly got a creepy feeling. A chill ran sharply down his back, and he could not help reaching behind himself to rub at it.

"Don't try to play dumb," Jiang Yuduo said. "I was watching you the whole time from inside the house."

"I didn't see anyone. Where would anyone come from on the street?" Cheng Ke forced himself to be patient.

Jiang Yuduo said nothing. After a moment, he stood up, went over and turned on the living room light, then turned back and walked to his side, bending down to stare at his face.

The scene was simply too unbelievable. Cheng Ke had no choice but to reach out and press a hand to Jiang Yuduo's shoulder. "I really didn't see anyone. Now that you say that, I actually feel a little creeped out."

"Creeped out my ass. If I really said you were my friend, there aren't many people around here who'd dare touch you," Jiang Yuduo said. Then he straightened up, went over and turned off the light again, and sat back down across from the table. "Are you trying to take back that watch of yours?"

"…No," Cheng Ke said, frozen for a moment. Then he let out a breath. "If you hadn't said anything, I'd have already forgotten about it."

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo grunted. "You can't get it back. I'm not giving it to you."

"Keep it then." Cheng Ke took a sip of wine.

He suddenly felt a little disappointed.

Not because of that Jaeger-LeCoultre. It was just a watch, nothing especially memorable. If it had cost over three hundred thousand, he might have still thought about it a little.

His disappointment came from Jiang Yuduo's line, "If I really said you were my friend."

Jiang Yuduo did not consider him a friend.

Of course, that was not strange. Even he himself had only defined Jiang Yuduo as the landlord, just someone he knew, not very well.

But for some reason, he still felt a little disappointed.

Maybe his friends had always come too easily. At his old pace, a relationship like the one he had with Jiang Yuduo would already have been enough to earn the title of friend.

Or maybe his friends left too easily. They all scattered the moment they said they would go, and he was not used to this empty life of his right now. He wanted to grab onto any one person and call them a friend.

"I thought…" Cheng Ke still could not stop himself from saying it, but the moment he started, he cut himself off. When had he sunk to the point of feeling upset over something like this?

It was just Jiang Yuduo. What did it matter whether they were friends or not? He had never possibly become friends with someone like this anyway, not even the most hypocritical kind of friend.

"I don't just casually decide someone's my friend," Jiang Yuduo said. "For people like us who mess around on the streets, we're not the same as you young masters. Friends, for me…"

He tapped the tabletop.

"They mean a lot."

"Can't relate," Cheng Ke said. "I don't have friends."

He took a sip of wine and slowly bit into another piece of beef jerky. He had to admit that he admired Jiang Yuduo's sharpness.

Even though that sharpness was often used in strange places.

"Not having friends isn't strange," Jiang Yuduo said. "By my standards, it's not easy to have a few friends in a lifetime."

"Like you and Chen Qing?" Cheng Ke asked.

"He's just an idiot," Jiang Yuduo said. "I want to kill him every day."

Cheng Ke laughed. So that was what friends were.

"Actually, the one you had dinner with that day, Xu Ding?" Jiang Yuduo helped him top up the wine in his bowl. "He's sort of your friend, right?"

"I wasn't close to him before," Cheng Ke said. "Outside of work, I never had meals alone with him."

"Oh." Jiang Yuduo nodded and lightly swayed back against the chair. "What was your 'before' like?"

"…I don't know how to say it," Cheng Ke said, taking a sip of wine and giving a bitter smile. "Just look at what I call you every day."

"People who don't usually do housework just don't get it. There are a lot of people like that," Jiang Yuduo said. "It's not just you."

"It's different." Cheng Ke pulled the flattened cigarette pack from his pocket, lit one, and held it between his lips. "Even now, I still don't know what I'm supposed to do next."

"Next?" Jiang Yuduo tapped his bowl against Cheng Ke's. "Drink and eat meat."

"I've spent my whole life just muddling through, never thinking about what I was supposed to do or what I wanted to do," Cheng Ke said with a smile, tapping lightly on the bowl with his finger. "I was kicked out of my house by my dad."

Jiang Yuduo's hand paused with the wine, then he took two sips and leaned back in the chair. "I thought you got kicked out by your younger brother."

Cheng Ke said nothing. He picked up his bowl and raised it toward Jiang Yuduo, then tilted his head back and drank half the bowl of wine.

"The agent said you were an artist," Jiang Yuduo said. "What kind of art do you do?"

"…You believe what agents say too?" Cheng Ke laughed.

"They usually exaggerate, but they don't usually make things up out of thin air. There has to be something about you that let him exaggerate, right?" Jiang Yuduo said. "What was it?"

Cheng Ke let out a breath. "He asked what kind of work I did. I couldn't exactly say I was unemployed, so I told him sand painting."

"What's sand painting?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Drawing with sand," Cheng Ke said, making a gesture on the table and explaining it in terms Jiang Yuduo was more likely to understand. "You know, scatter a handful of sand and move it around with your hand."

"Oh." Jiang Yuduo stared at him with the cigarette between his teeth.

After looking at him for a while, Jiang Yuduo stood up and turned back into the kitchen.

Cheng Ke pinched out his cigarette, took a sip of wine, and leaned back in his chair, tilting his head.

The wine really was pretty good. Under normal circumstances, if he had drunk this much in two rounds, he would have already felt bad. But now, aside from feeling a little dizzy, he did not have any other discomfort.

With his head tilted back, the faint swaying sensation in the air made him feel relaxed and calm.

Jiang Yuduo came back out of the kitchen and threw a bag onto the table.

Cheng Ke rubbed at the bridge of his nose, wanting to make out what food he had brought out this time, but in the weak light he saw that what had been tossed onto the table was a bag, unopened, and it looked a lot like…

"Draw me one," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Draw what?" Cheng Ke froze.

"Sand painting," Jiang Yuduo said, pointing at the bag. "This is salt."

"…You want me to use salt to do sand painting?" Cheng Ke reached over and pinched the bag. Sure enough, it was salt, coarse sea salt.

"What's the difference from sand?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"Using salt to draw is called salt painting," Cheng Ke tried to explain. "They're not the same, and this salt is too coarse…"

Jiang Yuduo said nothing and turned back into the kitchen again.

Cheng Ke dropped onto the table and sighed. "Jiang Yuduo… no, Third Brother, Third Brother, can you stop messing around?"

When Jiang Yuduo came out of the kitchen again, he threw three more bags of salt onto the table, all of them right in front of Cheng Ke's nose.

Cheng Ke reached out and pinched one. This time it was fine salt.

"Why did you buy so much salt?" he asked helplessly.

"Waiting for some sand painting artist to come draw for me one day," Jiang Yuduo said, sitting down.

"Another day," Cheng Ke said. "I don't want to draw now. I'm a little dizzy."

"No," Jiang Yuduo replied bluntly. "Right now."

"Why?" Cheng Ke raised his head to look at him, still unable to make out the expression on his face.

"Because," Jiang Yuduo said, tapping lightly on the table twice, "I don't believe you."

"Hm?" Cheng Ke was still looking at him.

"Don't think you can just make up some bullshit and fool me. Draw now," Jiang Yuduo's voice turned a little cold. "If you can't draw it, don't think about leaving this room. If you don't draw, don't think about leaving either."

Cheng Ke was no longer shocked by Jiang Yuduo's hot-and-cold attitude. Besides, his head was a little dizzy right now, so he was just annoyed.

Not annoyed that Jiang Yuduo did not even have the most basic politeness and was forcing him to do sand painting in the middle of the night. He was annoyed that Jiang Yuduo did not believe he could do it.

Although his family all looked down on it and thought of it as nothing more than a hobby with no real skill, he knew exactly where his level was. Otherwise Xu Ding would not have asked Liu Tiansheng to invite him in the first place.

This was the one bright spot in his trash life, the only bright spot that had kept him from completely sinking into being a total worthless loser, even if he himself had never really taken it very seriously.

"Turn on the light." Cheng Ke stood up and felt around on the table. It was pretty smooth.

Jiang Yuduo got up and turned the light on.

The sudden brightness left Cheng Ke momentarily dazed. If this had happened before, he would have just laughed it off. No matter how useless his life was, there was no need to get angry over the denial of someone who was eighty-eight thousand miles away from him.

Maybe it was because he had burned through two rounds of alcohol today.

He glanced at Jiang Yuduo. "Put on some clothes."

"You draw yours. Why do you care whether I'm wearing clothes or not?" Jiang Yuduo stood there, not moving, his brow furrowed.

"This is the bare minimum of respect," Cheng Ke said, bracing himself on the table with one arm. When Jiang Yuduo still did not move, he raised his voice and shouted again, "Put them the fuck on!"

"Fuck!" Jiang Yuduo jumped at the sudden shout. He pointed at Cheng Ke and glared at him for a long time before turning and going into the bedroom. "If I put them on and you still can't draw it, I'll strip right away and fuck you!"

"What if I do draw it?" Cheng Ke felt that with the help of alcohol, he had become completely indifferent to Jiang Yuduo's occasional tendency to run straight down to the gutter. He calmly picked up a bag of salt, tore it open, pinched out a little, and rubbed it between his fingertips.

"I'll waive three months' rent," Jiang Yuduo said from the bedroom.

"I'm not hurting for that little bit of money." Cheng Ke moved everything on the table over to the coffee table. The tabletop was black glass, which was pretty suitable.

"Pretty cocky, huh?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"Obviously. You were already going to fuck me if I couldn't draw," Cheng Ke said. "If I draw it, you just waive three months' rent? Isn't that a bit uneven?"

"Fine," Jiang Yuduo said as he slowly came out wearing a pair of sweatpants. "Since you want to fuck me that badly, then we'll go with that."

Cheng Ke smiled and said nothing else.

He actually did not need any stakes, especially not one of those stupid bets he and Liu Tiansheng could spit out two hundred and fifty versions of in one night.

"What should I draw?" Cheng Ke took a handful of salt from the bag and sprinkled it lightly across the table. The black surface quickly became evenly covered with a layer of white.

"Me." The first time Jiang Yuduo saw Cheng Ke scatter the salt, he knew he had not been lying.

For someone as helpless with housework as Cheng Ke, even pouring water made people wonder if he was using the wrong hand. But these few movements of sprinkling salt were skilled and handsome. The fluidity of it was like flowing clouds and water. At a glance, it was obvious that even if he did not know sand painting, he had at least more than three years of experience with sprinkling and sand.

"You?" Cheng Ke looked up at him.

"What, can't you draw my complicated handsomeness?" Jiang Yuduo asked back.

"Let's start with a cat. I haven't touched this stuff in over a month," Cheng Ke said. He lowered his head, pressed a finger into the salt spread across the table, and dragged it into a curved line. "My hands are a little rusty."

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo responded, staring at his fingertips.

After the first curve, Cheng Ke paused slightly, then made a second, then a third. Jiang Yuduo was a little shocked to find that from just those few strokes of the finger, he could already tell it was a cat.

Cheng Ke pinched a little more salt and lightly spun it over the cat's head. A circle with a dot in the middle appeared, and Jiang Yuduo could not even clearly see how the salt fell from Cheng Ke's fingertips.

What followed could not really be called a process for him, because he could not see it clearly at all. The only things he could make out were Cheng Ke pinching salt from the bag and the blank spaces or white lines being brushed out wherever his fingers touched.

The cat gradually took shape beneath Cheng Ke's fingertips. Although it was only black and white, with simple lines, the cat's expression was very much like a cat's. Jiang Yuduo could not say exactly where it looked like one, but he could tell at a glance that it was a cat.

After Cheng Ke finished the last stroke of the cat's whiskers, he clapped his hands and looked up at him. "Does that count as being able to draw?"

"It counts." Jiang Yuduo nodded.

"Then fine," Cheng Ke said, lit a cigarette, and exhaled a puff of smoke. "I fuck you?"