TA • Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jiang Yuduo had barely stepped out of the door when Chen Qing was already pressing the elevator button. Cheng Ke still had not shut the door, and stood by the entrance watching.

"No need to see us downstairs," Chen Qing said. "We can go down ourselves."

"What gave you the illusion that I was going to see you downstairs?" Cheng Ke said.

"You didn’t close the door," Chen Qing said.

"…Fine." Cheng Ke sighed and shut the door.

The elevator doors opened. Chen Qing helped Jiang Yuduo a little and got into the elevator.

"Do you think he wanted to see us downstairs?" Chen Qing said. "Otherwise why wouldn’t he close the door? My analysis is right, isn’t it?"

Leaning against the elevator car, Jiang Yuduo watched the floor numbers change. "That’s politeness. We were still standing in the hallway, of course he wasn’t going to shut the door."

"Really?" Chen Qing blinked. "But when I leave your place, you never stand at the door either. I always close it myself."

"Is he that familiar with the two of us?" Jiang Yuduo roared, feeling the injury on his head start to throb.

This wound gave him the sense that it would probably never heal.

That night, he had led people back around, trying to pull Chen Qing out from under Zhang Daqi’s people. Instead, they ended up in a mess of a brawl in the back alley, and the cut got smashed again on the spot. It had not even started scabbing before, and then a few days ago, the cabinet door opened and he forgot to shut it and knocked it again…

"Then with people you’re not familiar with…" Chen Qing continued, still confused.

Jiang Yuduo pressed his hand over the bandage on his head and managed a strained smile at Chen Qing. "Guys like us who mix around on the streets shouldn’t compare manners with some young master. That would just be asking to be humiliated, got it?"

Chen Qing was just about to speak when Jiang Yuduo added, "If you don’t get it, shut your mouth."

Chen Qing nodded.

On the drive back, Jiang Yuduo pulled down the mirror to look at his bandage.

"Third Brother," Chen Qing said, frowning, "this injury really needs stitches."

"No," Jiang Yuduo answered flatly. "No one’s sticking a needle in me again. If I ever get stabbed one day, don’t even think about sticking me with a needle."

"Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!" Chen Qing spat loudly toward the steering wheel in a fit.

"This car was just washed, wasn’t it?" Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

Chen Qing did not answer. He only glared sideways at him.

"Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey." Jiang Yuduo had no choice but to say it too.

"Don’t say such unlucky things again," Chen Qing said. "It scares me when I hear it… You shouldn’t have gone back that day. Zhang Daqi wouldn’t dare do anything to me. The police were already there."

"So what if the police came," Jiang Yuduo clicked his tongue. "You were the one going to find trouble with him. If anyone actually got arrested, it would’ve been you first."

"At least we wouldn’t have been blocked and forced into another fight!" Chen Qing said. "And look at you, hurt like this! What if you got taken in again!"

"What’s there to worry about? It’s not like I’ve never been taken in before," Jiang Yuduo said. "Honestly, it’s pretty good spending a few quiet days inside. Peaceful. No insomnia."

"Next time you want peace and quiet, I’ll give you a key and you can stay at the old house in my village," Chen Qing said. "I’ll even get you some chickens to raise…"

Jiang Yuduo turned to look at him.

"Real chickens!" Chen Qing said. "Chickens, the kind that cluck and cackle!"

"Fuck," Jiang Yuduo laughed. "I know."

They stopped at the entrance to the building. Chen Qing checked the time. "It’s time for dinner. You’re not letting those boys bring you meals anymore, are you?"

"Mm," Jiang Yuduo said. "They come line up every day to deliver food. Anyone who didn’t know better would think I’m fucking dying."

"Then how are you going to eat?" Chen Qing thought about it. "How about I go buy a few dishes and we eat together?"

"You’re not going home anyway." Jiang Yuduo opened the car door.

"I’m waiting until my face isn’t this obvious," Chen Qing said. He got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, and helped him down. "Lately I’ve been sleeping at the shop. I can’t stand my mom’s nagging."

Jiang Yuduo smiled.

Chen Qing’s phone rang. He took it out, glanced at it, and answered. "Gouzi."

As soon as the call connected, Jiang Yuduo, standing nearby, could hear Gouzi’s tearful voice. "Qing-ge! Qing-ge…"

"What are you crying for!" Chen Qing said. "Did somebody beat you up? If you’ve got time to cry, run already."

"Zhang Daqi gave me the money! Qing-ge! He gave me the money!" Gouzi cried.

"Isn’t that a good thing? Why are you crying?" Chen Qing said. "Tears of joy?"

Jiang Yuduo sighed.

"I didn’t dare call Third Brother," Gouzi said. "Qing-ge, I’m kowtowing to you. Thank you! Please tell Third Brother for me too, I’m Third Brother’s man for life. As long as he gives the word, I’ll do whatever he says!"

Hearing that, Jiang Yuduo glanced at the phone. If Gouzi had been standing in front of him, he would have had Chen Qing drag him out and dump him immediately.

"What can you even do? All you do is cry," Chen Qing sighed. "Fine, hold on to your money and cry some more. From now on, when something comes up, use your own head a bit. It’s not possible for someone to always step in for you, right?"

"Mm! I got it, Qing-ge." Gouzi finally stopped crying.

"Zhang Daqi gave him the money?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Mm." Chen Qing put the phone back in his pocket. "Actually, going after Zhang Daqi wasn’t just about that little bit of money, right?"

"Obviously," Jiang Yuduo said. "For just three thousand bucks, was it worth getting beaten up like this?"

"It wasn’t all done by other people hitting you, though," Chen Qing said, helping him into the stairwell. "Didn’t your leg get hurt when you climbed over the wall?"

"You fucking…" Jiang Yuduo slapped him on the back with a casual swing. "You see through everything, huh!"

"Ah," Chen Qing rubbed his back and lowered his head with a sigh. "If I hadn’t been in the way…"

"Enough," Jiang Yuduo said, taking out his keys to open the door. He quickly glanced inside first before stepping in. "You’re not done yet."

"I’ll go buy food," Chen Qing said. "Let’s eat light tonight, okay? I think your complexion hasn’t been great lately. Is it because you’ve been carrying an injury and still eating meat and rich food every day, and it’s affecting recovery?"

"Whatever." Jiang Yuduo waved a hand.

After Chen Qing closed the door, Jiang Yuduo collapsed onto the sofa and leaned back with his eyes closed.

His complexion really had not been great, because at night he could not sleep.

When he did manage to sleep, he got scared instead. Night after night of nightmares were worse than lying awake until dawn.

He had not felt like this in a long time. He had not told anyone, not even Chen Qing or Lu Xi, the people closest to him. He did not want people to know he had been in a bad state lately.

Actually, today was better than usual. Even though Cheng Ke had led him on a little detour, Cheng Ke and he were completely not on the same track. That novelty was enough to lift his mood a little out of the gloom.

Cheng Ke.

So when the heart radical and the character for "all" were put together, it really was still a word.

He did not know how to explain it.

Back when he used to chat with Chen Qing, talking about character breakdowns, Chen Qing had even asked him how Jiang Yuduo would be broken down.

Of course he had no idea, but he still forced one.

"Let me break down the ‘duo’ part for you first," he had said solemnly. "It means big dimensions, got it?"

"Got it," Chen Qing’s brain had a very high tolerance for nonsense, and he had nodded with complete faith. "I’ve seen it. It really is."

Jiang Yuduo could not help laughing for a long time.

Halfway through, he thought it was pretty pointless and sighed, opening his eyes to stare blankly at the ceiling.

Miao was probably hungry. It climbed up along the sofa leg, sat on his chest, and meowed at him.

"I don’t want to move," Jiang Yuduo looked at it. "When your Qing-ge comes later, let him feed you."

Miao sat upright and kept meowing.

"Stop meowing," Jiang Yuduo said. "I’m in a very bad mood right now. If I get irritated, I’ll throw you out."

Miao ignored him and kept up a steady stream of mrrr, mrrr, mrrr.

It kept mrrring until Chen Qing came into the house.

"Hurry up, feed the cat first," Jiang Yuduo said. "So fucking annoying, meowing nonstop. It’s just because it’s small that I feel bad hitting it."

"You’re the one who picked up the cat," Chen Qing said, taking cat food and pouring some into the bowl. "And you’re also the one who wants to hit it. Hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"If you can’t talk, don’t just pull random fucking phrases out of your ass." Jiang Yuduo sat up.

Chen Qing’s idea of light food was really very strict. Besides a meat patty about the size of half a palm, all the dishes he bought were leafy greens, with barely any minced meat to be seen.

"I’ll burn you a stick of incense later." He sat down in the chair and looked at the food in front of him.

"Why?" Chen Qing set a box of porridge in front of him.

"Stick a few scars on your head," he said, "then go to the temple and ask the abbot to give you a stage name."

"Huh?" Chen Qing looked at him.

"How about ‘Meatless Master’?" Jiang Yuduo said. "Actually, it should’ve been called ‘Master Dimwit.’"

"…Fuck," Chen Qing sat down. "Do you really have to go this far just because you’re eating a light meal?"

"I do," Jiang Yuduo said, pointing at the little meat patty. "That thing isn’t even enough for one bite."

"This one’s mine." Chen Qing took the meat patty away. "I can eat two bites."

"Did I fucking hear that wrong?" Jiang Yuduo was so shocked he forgot to yell.

"I asked just now. Too much protein is bad for wound healing," Chen Qing said. "I didn’t want to刺激 you, so I specifically only ordered a small meat patty, not the big one."

"Did anyone even ask if Third Brother’s been short on rent lately? And now he has to order the tiny meat patty?" Jiang Yuduo was doing his best to suppress the raging fire in his stomach from having no meat.

"…I’ll give you half." Chen Qing夹了一半 of the meat patty into his bowl.

"Should I be thanking you too?" Jiang Yuduo asked. Before Chen Qing could answer, he pointed at the half meat patty in Chen Qing’s bowl. "Eat it in one bite, right now!"

"Huh?" Chen Qing froze.

"Hurry up!" Jiang Yuduo roared.

Chen Qing quickly picked up the meat patty and stuffed it into his mouth.

Jiang Yuduo nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Now you don’t have any meat. I still do. Just watch me eat slowly."

Chen Qing looked at him, and after a long while finally laughed out loud. "Are you childish or not?"

"None of your business. Eat your greens." Jiang Yuduo said.

After dinner, Chen Qing packed up all the lunch boxes and trash and took them out. When he came back, it was as if he had remembered some earth-shaking matter. "Hey, Third Brother, do you think Ji Jia doesn’t know trash is supposed to be thrown into the garbage bins downstairs?"

"He’s disabled in housework," Jiang Yuduo said, lighting a cigarette and holding it in his mouth. "Not mentally disabled."

"Oh." Chen Qing nodded. "Did you look at the stuff in his place today? He really spent money like crazy. That thing on the floor was a robot vacuum, right? At first I thought it was a scale, and I almost stepped on it. Why would he buy a broom if he already has a robot… And that massage chair, I really wanted to lie down on it for a while."

"Forget it," Jiang Yuduo said. "I don’t make much money. Grave plots are expensive these days."

"It’s an electric massage chair," Chen Qing said. "One day when he’s not home, let’s go in and get a massage."

Jiang Yuduo gave him a glance.

"Never mind," Chen Qing sighed. "The mall has them too. Twenty bucks a session. I’ll just go to the mall."

"Go back to the shop," Jiang Yuduo said. "I’m afraid I’ll end up beating you later. My injury hasn’t healed yet, and I don’t want to use too much force."

"Fine." Chen Qing took out his phone and checked the time. "Call me tomorrow if you’re going out. I’ll find a car to take you."

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo lay down on the sofa.

After Chen Qing left, he turned off the lights in the room, moved to the window, and looked outside through the gap in the curtain.

The sky was already completely dark, and the wind was blowing hard.

The area the streetlight could illuminate was tiny, just a dim yellow patch, and at the edges it blended into the black. After staring for long enough, he could start to see things moving in the darkness.

It made his heart tighten with panic in waves.

He kept looking until a human shadow came out of the darkness, passed through the dim yellow light, and was swallowed up by the black again. Only then did Jiang Yuduo step away from the window, wash up casually, and lie down on the bed.

He did not have insomnia tonight, but he did have a dream.

Every time Jiang Yuduo dreamed, he knew he was dreaming. No matter how real the dream felt, he kept telling himself: it’s not real, it’s not real.

It’s not real.

He could no longer remember when this sentence had become his first and foremost weapon against fear. It had been too long ago, back to when Chen Qing and Lu Xi did not exist in his life yet.

It’s not real.

It sounded useless, and helpless.

Jiang Yuduo let out a soft sigh.

Dreaming of Cheng Ke was not surprising at all. All along, Jiang Yuduo’s dreams had been like a notebook, recording everything that happened each day.

And on certain days, they would keep flipping back.

Cheng Ke said, "My name is Cheng Ke, the Ke in ‘to abide by,’ not the Ke in ‘passenger.’"

Cheng Ke said, "Are you sick?"

Cheng Ke said, "When are you giving my watch back?"

Cheng Ke said, "I don’t have any problems. My purpose here is very simple."

I just want to make sure you never know a single peaceful day again.

Cheng Ke lunged at him, holding a rusty iron nail, and fiercely stabbed at his eyes.

But when it came right up in front of him, it suddenly turned into a knife.

When this blade cut across his face, he could even feel the pain, see the blood-red flash.

…

It’s not real.

Jiang Yuduo quickly pulled himself out of the dream. Thanks to his quick reactions, agile movements, and nimble skills, when he woke up he could still hear his own low voice saying, "It’s not real."

He stared wide-eyed into the dark, took a moment to recover, then quietly cursed again, "Fuck."

He felt like he was covered in sweat. His clothes were soaked through. He lifted the blanket and touched himself, and it felt like he could wring water out of it.

A little irritably, he took off his shirt, then stripped off his underwear too and tossed it aside.

Much better.

Cheng Ke held his phone. Jiang Yuduo’s number was already entered on the screen, but he had been hesitating and still had not pressed call.

He really could not bring himself to do it for something like the gas stove failing to light again.

After Jiang Yuduo’s last lesson, he had already become very proficient with this gas stove, opening the valve, pressing the knob, turning the ignition, boiling instant noodles, and so on, many times over.

But today, when he wanted to boil two eggs, the damn thing would not ignite.

He repeated the correct steps forty-nine times and still never saw the tiny blue flame.

This new gas stove really was broken this time.

Even though he felt this conclusion was correct, thinking about Jiang Yuduo’s irritable state made him unconsciously question himself again.

After questioning himself four times, he decided to stick to his conclusion and call the landlord to have someone come repair it.

He pressed dial.

The ringing went on for a long time before the call finally connected.

"Mm?" Jiang Yuduo’s voice came from the other end.

But that hoarse, weak voice made Cheng Ke hesitate. "…Jiang Yuduo?"

"Who." Jiang Yuduo asked.

Even though the voice was still the same, that tone let Cheng Ke confirm it was indeed Jiang Yuduo.

"Sorry to bother you," Cheng Ke guessed he was still asleep. "Is this a convenient time for you?"

"If it’s inconvenient, are you going to hang up?" Jiang Yuduo asked. His voice was so hoarse that it was getting hard to hear anything clearly.

"…If it’s inconvenient, I can call back later." Cheng Ke felt that sound might not be from just waking up. It sounded more like a sore throat.

"Just say what you need," Jiang Yuduo said.

"That… gas stove," Cheng Ke said. "It won’t ignite again. I’ve been using it fine all along, and today it suddenly wouldn’t light."

"Just smash it," Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke felt he was probably almost getting used to Jiang Yuduo’s reactions. Maybe one day he would even be able to say nonsense like Chen Qing, and claim, "Jiang Yuduo actually has a pretty good temper."

"The gas card’s probably out of money," Jiang Yuduo said in that same hoarse, weak voice. "Young master, go check the numbers on the gas meter."

"Where’s the gas meter?" Cheng Ke walked into the kitchen. Hearing how wrong Jiang Yuduo sounded, he asked again, "Are you sick?"

"Not sick," Jiang Yuduo said. "I’m dying. The gas meter is next to the stove. Hurry up and look, if I die in a bit, no one’s going to deal with you."

"I found it," Cheng Ke said, looking at the meter. "What does it say?"

"There’s a card on it. Insert the card and look at the screen," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Okay." Cheng Ke did as he said and inserted the IC card that was on top of the gas meter into the slot. To be honest, Jiang Yuduo not yelling even once today was so unexpected that he even felt a trace of guilt. Jiang Yuduo was sick, yet he was still patiently acting as a guide to household knowledge for him. "There’s a number now."

"What number." Jiang Yuduo asked.

"0." Cheng Ke suddenly understood. That probably meant the gas had run out. "I…"

"No gas, so it won’t light, idiot," Jiang Yuduo said weakly. "Go recharge it."

The guilt in Cheng Ke’s heart vanished instantly, but he still had to grit his teeth and, under the title of idiot, ask again, "Where do I recharge it?"

"The bank," Jiang Yuduo said. "The one you went to last time is fine."

"Thank you." Cheng Ke gritted his teeth. He was very unwilling to say those two words to Jiang Yuduo, but he still said them out of habit.

Jiang Yuduo did not speak on the other end, and he did not hang up either.

Cheng Ke waited another two seconds. There was still silence on the other end. He hesitated, then hung up.

The bank he had gone to last time was right near Jiang Yuduo’s place. To be honest, Cheng Ke had a very bad impression of this area. After all, it was at this intersection that he had been inexplicably stabbed. The wound had healed, but if you looked carefully, you could still see a scar. It probably would take a while longer before it disappeared completely.

Recharging the gas card was very simple. There was a machine in the bank. You just inserted the card and could top it up.

It counted as learning a bit of common sense. Cheng Ke had never before thought that life included a step called recharging a gas card.

After finishing, he walked out of the bank and unconsciously glanced toward the intersection again. Just as he was about to turn back, he stopped.

He was not really a kind-hearted person. He had been too lazy to visit Liu Tiancheng when he was hospitalized for appendicitis, but now he kind of wanted to go check on Jiang Yuduo.

Because compared with a clearly understood illness like appendicitis, where you knew there was not much of a problem, Jiang Yuduo’s call suddenly going silent made him uneasy. He could not stop his imagination, either. Jiang Yuduo, just before dying, forced himself to the end to tell him how to buy gas, and after saying the very last sentence, he did not even have time to hang up before he died…

He shook his head. Bad omen.

Amitabha.

He walked toward the intersection. Since he was already this close, he might as well go take a look.

Cheng Ke was much better at finding his way than at doing any kind of housework. Although he had only been there once, he still found it easily.

Actually, all the way there, he had really hoped to run into Chen Qing, or those hangers-on Jiang Yuduo always sent roaming the streets when he had nothing to do. Having one of them go check on Jiang Yuduo would feel much more natural than him running over himself, and it would not be so awkward.

He stood at the door of Jiang Yuduo’s place, first thinking through how he would mock Jiang Yuduo if nothing was wrong, then knocked on the door.

There was no sound from inside.

He knocked twice more, and still heard nothing.

"Jiang Yuduo?" he called, continuing to knock. "Are you home?"

Inside, it remained silent.

He suddenly started to feel a little tense. His knocking grew stronger and more frequent, pounding on the door in a rapid barrage. "Jiang Yuduo!"

"Who." At last, Jiang Yuduo’s voice came from inside.

"It’s me, Cheng Ke." Cheng Ke let out a breath.

The door opened. Jiang Yuduo stood in the doorway.

"You didn’t…" Cheng Ke’s words only got halfway out before they were abruptly caught in his throat.

Jiang Yuduo was actually naked.

From top to bottom, not a single piece of fabric on him, just standing there naked in the doorway and staring at him.

Cheng Ke was utterly shocked. In his entire life, he had never seen anyone running naked outside with such calm, ease, and composure except in a public bathhouse.

After Jiang Yuduo stared him down for two seconds, he suddenly said, "Fuck."

Then he slammed the door shut.