TA •Chapter 50

If it had been any other day, if it had been a month ago, even if Cheng Ke had been letting his mind wander, Jiang Yuduo’s move wouldn’t have had that big of an impact on him. At most, he would have felt a little flushed after the surge of emotion.

But now, he had gone a long time without seeing Jiang Yuduo. When he suddenly saw him, he was already a little dazed, and then Jiang Yuduo did that out of nowhere. Cheng Ke kicked at nothing, stumbled, and nearly went down.

Jiang Yuduo didn’t seem to feel anything. He looked pretty happy, or he wouldn’t have done something like that. Seeing Cheng Ke stumble, he even laughed out loud. “My internal energy is strong. Maybe I’ve already mastered the One-Finger Zen.”

“Shut up and walk.” Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo laughed for a while longer before stopping. “Are you spending New Year’s by yourself too?”

“Mm.” Cheng Ke nodded. “What else? Go home? Cheng Yi won’t even let me go back.”

“He said you can’t go back?” Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

“No, he said I should go back.” Cheng Ke frowned.

Jiang Yuduo said nothing.

Thinking about all this made Cheng Ke a little annoyed again, so he changed the subject. “Did you go into my room?”

“…Yeah,” Jiang Yuduo said, rubbing his nose. “I went to check before I left. You weren’t living there anymore, and I was afraid you didn’t know anything, that you’d end up causing a fire or a gas leak or something.”

“I’m not that useless.” Cheng Ke said.

“You hadn’t even unplugged the power strips, everything was still plugged in,” Jiang Yuduo said. “And the balcony window was still open halfway. If I hadn’t gone over there, the place would be full of dust by now.”

“I didn’t close the window?” Cheng Ke blinked.

“No.” Jiang Yuduo said.

“I probably…” Cheng Ke sighed. When he’d left, he’d been in that kind of state. Forget the window, he might not even have closed the door. “I didn’t notice.”

During the New Year holiday, every restaurant, especially places in this area that already did good business on normal days, basically had waiting numbers even for lunch. And it was right at peak dining time. The moment Cheng Ke saw the people waiting in the restaurant’s lounge by the entrance, he lost all appetite.

“I’m not eating,” he said. “I really don’t want to wait. It’s too annoying.”

“I’m treating.” Jiang Yuduo said.

“Hm?” Cheng Ke looked at him.

“If you won’t eat when you’re the one treating, then I’ll treat.” Jiang Yuduo said.

“Fuck off.” Cheng Ke pointed at the people inside the restaurant. “With a scene like this, I’m not eating no matter who’s paying.”

“Then what do we do?” Jiang Yuduo said. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

Cheng Ke couldn’t decide. If they went to any hot pot place now, they’d probably still have to wait. In weather like this, there was nothing better than hot pot.

“How about this,” Jiang Yuduo said after hesitating for a moment. “If you really don’t want to wait… then make it yourself?”

“Me?” Cheng Ke pointed at himself in shock. “I make it myself? If I make it, would you even eat it?”

“No,” Jiang Yuduo said, frowning. “I’ll make it.”

“Fine.” Cheng Ke answered immediately.

Jiang Yuduo looked at him and clicked his tongue.

But after they took a taxi to the supermarket, Cheng Ke thought the two of them might have had their brains frozen solid.

“Starting from buying the ingredients, won’t this take just as long as waiting at the restaurant?” he asked.

“Then sitting on the couch at home, watching TV and playing on your phone while you wait is still better than standing there dumbly at the restaurant,” Jiang Yuduo’s logic was still perfectly clear. “Do you mind waiting there, or do you just mind waiting at all?”

“Let’s buy the ingredients.” Cheng Ke pointed at the supermarket.

He really did not want to wait at all. But thinking about it, if he was just hanging around in a little nest with Jiang Yuduo, then waiting a while didn’t seem like much.

“It’s spicy hot pot, right?” Jiang Yuduo said, taking a small cart and pushing it. “Let’s buy the base first.”

“Mm.” Cheng Ke followed him. “I don’t know anything about this. You pick it. I’ll pay later.”

“Then go queue first,” Jiang Yuduo said. “There are a lot of people. If you line up first, we’ll save time.”

“Oh.” Cheng Ke glanced toward the checkout counters. There really were quite a lot of people.

Sometimes he really didn’t understand it. People had been buying from before the New Year, buying for a whole month, and still hadn’t bought enough. What exactly were they all buying…

“Go on.” Jiang Yuduo said.

He didn’t want to.

Even if he wasn’t strolling around the supermarket with Jiang Yuduo, he still didn’t want to just stand there like an idiot and wait in line.

“Mm.” He agreed again, but still shamelessly followed beside Jiang Yuduo, slowly walking and looking at the shelves.

Jiang Yuduo didn’t say anything, just looked at him.

“I’m not going.” Cheng Ke said.

“Then why did you say mm?” Jiang Yuduo said.

“Just answering casually.” Cheng Ke replied thickly-skinned.

Jiang Yuduo didn’t ask him to line up again. He pushed the cart quickly, grabbed a bunch of things from the shelves, then hurried over to the chilled section.

Cheng Ke followed behind him and watched. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help, he just didn’t know what ingredients they needed. Only when they got to the refrigerated case did he start reaching out.

“Is this lamb slices?” He picked up a box of meat and looked at it.

“Are you blind?” Jiang Yuduo said. “It’s got writing on it. Can’t you read? Beef, niu, niu…”

“You really do know a lot of characters,” Cheng Ke looked at him. “Want me to applaud you?”

“Go ahead.” Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke clapped his hands loudly.

Several people nearby looked over, and he quickly stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Jiang Yuduo was as efficient with meat as he was with seasonings, tossing a pile of things into the cart in a flash. Cheng Ke felt like if they could eat half of this, they’d already be starving.

“Go line up.” Jiang Yuduo said again when he had almost finished grabbing things.

“Oh.” Cheng Ke walked toward the checkout. “Grab a few packs of instant noodles too, to eat in the hot pot.”

“Mm.” Jiang Yuduo answered.

This kind of feeling was pretty nice. At the very least, it felt relaxing. Wandering around the supermarket together, tossing things into the cart, then eating hot pot together later.

But Cheng Ke also admitted that somewhere in his heart, there was still a small lump of uneasy doubt.

The completely different state Jiang Yuduo was in compared to before they’d parted.

And that psychologist.

But Jiang Yuduo hadn’t brought it up, and he didn’t want to ask for the time being.

He didn’t know about other people, but at least for Cheng Ke, ostrich mentality could play the biggest role in many situations, especially when it came to enjoying something ambiguous.

Right now, he only wanted to eat this meal with Jiang Yuduo first.

Jiang Yuduo watched until Cheng Ke had joined the checkout line, then looked around him twice more before turning back to grab a few more boxes of meat and pushing the cart over to get a few packs of noodles.

But instant noodles didn’t hold up well in boiling soup. When eating hot pot, simple braided noodles that looked a lot like instant noodles were actually more suitable.

After he’d taken the noodles and come out from between the shelves heading toward the checkout area, he glanced back.

The feeling of being intensely watched made him uneasy, but when he turned around, there was only a stock clerk putting items on the shelf.

There were too many people in the supermarket, and too many things blocking his view. He turned back, walked over to Cheng Ke, and saw there were still four people ahead, with a lot of items.

“Everything’s here?” Cheng Ke looked at the cart.

“Mm.” He pushed Cheng Ke forward a step, then squeezed in to stand behind him.

The woman behind them looked displeased. “What are you squeezing for? One person lining up is enough.”

Jiang Yuduo turned and looked at her.

“…Oh my.” The woman swept her eyes over his face, turned away, and said nothing else.

Jiang Yuduo grabbed the cart with his right hand and pushed it forward a little. His arm reached around and blocked Cheng Ke’s right side. He wasn’t too worried about the left side. The left side was a wall.

Cheng Ke felt a little dizzy, as if he’d drunk alcohol.

Jiang Yuduo was standing right behind him. His right arm stretched out from Cheng Ke’s side and rested on the cart. His whole body was pressed very close, and Cheng Ke even had the illusion that his back could feel Jiang Yuduo’s body heat.

As the line slowly shuffled forward, Cheng Ke kept mulling over this state.

By his understanding, Jiang Yuduo should not have been making such intimate moves toward him. It should have been about “protecting” his safety instead. But Jiang Yuduo had said before, “After some time, I’ll be better.” So now… had he just not reached the “better” stage yet?

“What are you thinking about?” Jiang Yuduo pushed his back. “Move.”

Cheng Ke saw that there was already a large gap between the person in front and himself, so he quickly followed.

After hesitating for a long time, he turned around.

“You…” After turning, he was almost face-to-face with Jiang Yuduo. If the two of them weren’t standing in the supermarket checkout line right now, Cheng Ke would have almost thought that the next second they should be kissing or something.

“Mm?” Jiang Yuduo shifted back slightly.

That tiny movement made Cheng Ke calm down with a bit of embarrassment. He asked softly, “Is there… some kind of person?”

“You saw someone strange?” Jiang Yuduo asked.

“No,” Cheng Ke said. “I was just asking if you saw anything.”

“No.” Jiang Yuduo said. “Stop being suspicious of everything.”

“…Oh.” Cheng Ke turned back around.

Jiang Yuduo didn’t seem abnormal at all. His eyes were different from when he’d seen “them” before… so it had become him being suspicious of everything?

If it wasn’t because of “protecting” him…

Then what was going on?

Cheng Ke glanced at Jiang Yuduo’s right arm still wrapped around his side.

After hesitating for two seconds, he gritted his teeth and casually pressed his own arm down on top of Jiang Yuduo’s, stacking it there.

Jiang Yuduo didn’t dodge, or even move.

This situation was not something Cheng Ke had expected. Now he didn’t even know whether he should take his arm away or just keep it resting there.

If he took it away, he’d hate to. That subtle ambiguity that only he could feel in the middle of a crowd was even more intoxicating than a kiss in broad daylight.

If he didn’t take it away, then it seemed like he was just some idiot taking advantage of someone.

Luckily, the people in front, though they had a lot of big items, didn’t have many things. They checked out quickly. Cheng Ke hurriedly pulled himself together and started stacking the items from the cart onto the register.

“I’ll go over there.” Jiang Yuduo squeezed out from behind him and waited at the checkout.

That kind of close-contact dance finally ended, and Cheng Ke let out a breath of relief.

The hot pot was going to be eaten at Jiang Yuduo’s place, since it was close and all the tools were there.

When they got into the corridor, the door opposite opened and a little boy ran out, holding a small bag full of firecrackers.

“Uncle Jiang.” The boy waved the little bag at Jiang Yuduo. “Guess what’s in here.”

The bag shook, and several firecrackers fell out.

“Radishes.” Jiang Yuduo glanced at the firecrackers on the ground.

“No! It’s firecrackers! And fireworks!” The little boy smiled smugly.

“Your grandma’s here.” Jiang Yuduo glanced at the door behind him.

The little boy jumped in fright and hurriedly grabbed the bag and ran off.

Jiang Yuduo picked up the firecrackers from the floor and opened the door to go inside.

“Three and a half?” Cheng Ke asked.

“Mm, he’s four now.” Jiang Yuduo nodded. “His grandma won’t let him go out and set off firecrackers by himself.”

Cheng Ke smiled.

After they went in and closed the door, Miao lazily came in from the backyard, tail held upright.

“What a little sissy.” Jiang Yuduo looked at it. “Can’t you walk with a little more swagger? Why are you twisting like that?”

“That’s how cats walk.” Cheng Ke crouched down and stroked Miao’s head. “Where’s the outfit? The one for Miao Fugui.”

“I washed it and put it away. It doesn’t like wearing it.” Jiang Yuduo said. “I’ll boil the water first. Help me unpack the meat and stuff and put it on plates.”

“Okay.” Cheng Ke followed him into the kitchen.

While Jiang Yuduo was filling the pot with water, Cheng Ke saw an unfinished scar on the palm of his left hand. After hesitating a moment, he asked, “How did your hand get hurt?”

“Cut it while helping Chen Qing’s family install glass,” Jiang Yuduo said. “It’s been a long time. I just heal slowly.”

“Oh.” Cheng Ke didn’t ask any more. He took a plate, unpacked a box of meat rolls, and tipped it onto the plate.

The box was bigger than the plate, and two meat rolls fell to the floor.

Before Cheng Ke could pick them up, Miao had already shot over, flashed across the meat rolls in one quick blur, and then vanished together with them out of the kitchen door.

Cheng Ke looked at Jiang Yuduo.

“It’s fine.” Jiang Yuduo said.

Before Cheng Ke could even feel warmth in his heart, Jiang Yuduo added, “There’s still plenty. Keep tossing them.”

“Get lost.” Cheng Ke said.

Hot pot really was easy to make, as long as you knew how to handle the broth and dipping sauce.

…Well, that already wasn’t easy.

Cheng Ke stood in the kitchen, watching Jiang Yuduo work. In all his years, this was the first time he had watched the making of a meal from inside the kitchen.

If the one making it wasn’t Jiang Yuduo, he would have long since gone to the living room to watch TV.

“Can you thin out sesame paste?” Jiang Yuduo turned and asked him.

“No.” Cheng Ke answered.

“Want to learn?” Jiang Yuduo asked.

“…Not really.” Cheng Ke said.

“You useless thing.” Jiang Yuduo had no choice but to scoop out a couple of spoonfuls of the sauce and start thinning it himself.

Because there was a stove in the kitchen, it was much warmer than the living room. Leaning against the wall, Cheng Ke felt pleasantly warm. Steam rose from the pot on the stove, and the smell of the spicy broth filled the small space.

Making hot pot at home was different from eating it outside.

Cheng Ke looked at Jiang Yuduo’s profile as he carefully thinned the sesame paste. Today he was wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt under his coat, and Cheng Ke could see the muscles in his arm appearing and disappearing as he exerted force.

And two scars.

Actually, they had eaten hot pot at home before too, but usually he stayed tucked away in his own room. Only when someone came to call him for dinner would he go out. Sometimes if his dad was in a bad mood, he would simply tell people not to call him. Either he would go to the dining room on his own, or he wouldn’t eat.

He had never thought that watching someone prepare hot pot in the kitchen could feel so steady and relaxing.

Of course, maybe it was simply because this person was Jiang Yuduo.

A man who, as long as you stripped away certain details, was attractive from the inside out.

Jiang Yuduo really had lost weight. It wasn’t just obvious in his face. Although Cheng Ke didn’t dare touch him, he could still tell he’d lost weight all over. Probably more than ten jin.

“Are you spending New Year’s by yourself too?” Cheng Ke asked. Maybe he was too relaxed, because even his own voice sounded a little distant.

“Mm.” Jiang Yuduo nodded.

“You haven’t been eating properly, have you?” Cheng Ke said. “You’ve lost so much weight.”

“I lose weight easily when I change places. I don’t adjust well, and I can’t sleep at night,” Jiang Yuduo said. “You must have lived on instant noodles during New Year’s, right?”

“Nope, the hotel had a restaurant.” Cheng Ke smiled.

“Then why did you lose weight too?” Jiang Yuduo said. “Chen Qing got almost two Chen Qings fatter over New Year.”

“Probably because he missed you.” Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo, who had been stirring the sauce in the bowl with chopsticks, paused.

A person really couldn’t get too full of themselves.

The relaxed, floaty feeling Cheng Ke had vanished instantly, replaced by embarrassment. He cleared his throat and looked around the kitchen.

There was really no way to patch that line up.

He could only grit his teeth and take it.

“Take it out, and bring the sesame oil out with it.” Jiang Yuduo handed him the thinned sesame paste.

Cheng Ke took the bowl. On the counter were a bunch of seasoning bottles they had just bought. He couldn’t tell which one was sesame oil, so he simply scooped up all the bottles and carried them into the living room, where he put them on the table.

Then he was too embarrassed to go back into the kitchen, so he sat by the table with Miao and waited to eat.

Jiang Yuduo made several trips back and forth before he finally brought everything out. At the end, he also brought a bottle of liquor, set it on the table, and sat down with a sigh. “You really are a damn young master. Even helping out is one-time use.”

“…If you want help, just call me.” Cheng Ke said a little awkwardly.

“You sat here more steadily than Miao,” Jiang Yuduo said. “How could I bring myself to call you?”

Cheng Ke took the liquor and opened it, then poured him a glass. “Calm down.”

“I stopped being angry ages ago,” Jiang Yuduo said. “You’re the most shameless useless person I’ve ever met, and you do it with such righteous confidence. So easygoing. People who are used to being waited on are really different, huh.”

Smiling, Cheng Ke poured his own drink too and raised his glass toward him.

Jiang Yuduo lifted his cup and clinked it against his. “To…”

Cheng Ke waited for him to finish, but Jiang Yuduo seemed to be out of words, just holding the cup there in a daze.

“To friendship.” Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo stared at him for a long moment, then finally tipped his head back and drank the liquor in one shot. He slammed the cup down hard on the table. “To friendship.”

The broth base Jiang Yuduo chose smelled especially good, and Cheng Ke felt like he had put in several packs, so the flavor was very strong. Just as Cheng Ke was about to pick up a chopstickful to rinse in the pot, Jiang Yuduo lifted the plate.

“Third Brother, Third Brother.” Cheng Ke hurriedly held down his hand. “I have a request.”

“Mm?” Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

“Can we rinse and eat it one chopstickful at a time?” Cheng Ke said. “You dump in a whole plate each time, I can’t keep up, I’m rushing around like crazy.”

Jiang Yuduo frowned. “You’ve got so many demands. Fine.”

Cheng Ke smiled.

Jiang Yuduo divided the plates on the table into two piles one by one, then pointed at the pile beside Cheng Ke’s hand. “Yours.”

“Hm?” Cheng Ke blinked.

“Mine.” Jiang Yuduo pointed at the pile in front of himself.

“Oh.” Cheng Ke still didn’t understand why they’d suddenly started dividing the food up.

Jiang Yuduo picked up a plate and dumped all the meat into the pot with a splash.

“Damn you.” Cheng Ke couldn’t help laughing. “Fuck!”

“How is it?” Jiang Yuduo夹了一大筷子肉。 “This arrangement is pretty proper, right?”

“Childish.” Cheng Ke said with a smile.

“Childish is childish. I’m so much younger than you,” Jiang Yuduo took a sip of wine, thought about it, then leaned a little closer to him. “Hey, Cheng Ke.”

“What?” Cheng Ke looked at him.

“You’ve got a birthday next week, right.” Jiang Yuduo said.

Yeah. Cheng Ke thought about it. It really was next week. There were only three days left until next week.

But if Jiang Yuduo hadn’t asked him that, he really would have completely forgotten.

He usually didn’t remember his own birthday. The one who remembered was Liu Tiancheng. Every time, Liu Tiancheng called him and said to go out and get together.

And every birthday gathering, apart from seeing a pile of gifts, he still couldn’t really feel that he was celebrating his birthday. He just watched these people eat from here to there and drink from there to here.

At home, it was just a pile of presents. His mom would tell people to go buy them. Anything he wanted would be there, and things he didn’t want would be there too. It wasn’t very interesting.

“Mm.” Cheng Ke nodded.

“Then… are you going to have a birthday?” Jiang Yuduo asked.

Cheng Ke fell silent.

This was the first birthday he would spend after leaving home. Even though his past birthdays had all been pretty meaningless, he’d gotten used to that pattern. Now that Jiang Yuduo had asked him, he suddenly felt a little lost.

Have one?

How would he spend it?

After a long time, he finally sighed. “I guess not.”

“…Oh.” Jiang Yuduo looked at him and sighed too. “Yeah, you’re already 28. Birthday celebrations are pretty sad at that age.”

The chopstickful of meat Cheng Ke was holding froze in midair.

“You’re actually 29 in nominal age,” Jiang Yuduo said. “Grandma from that little brat said that in their hometown, you count two years younger, so then you’d be 30…”

“Are you done yet?” Cheng Ke looked at him helplessly.

“Are you having one?” Jiang Yuduo smiled. “I’ll throw you one, a 30th birthday.”

“I’m not!” Cheng Ke said.

“28th birthday.” Jiang Yuduo said again.

“I’m not!” Cheng Ke stuffed the meat into his mouth and took another sip of wine.

“18th birthday,” Jiang Yuduo said. “That should work, right? Then you’d be younger than me.”

Cheng Ke couldn’t help laughing. “Are you bored or something?”

“When Chen Qing and Lu Xi had birthdays, we all celebrated them,” Jiang Yuduo said. “Birthdays are pretty interesting. If you want it livelier, you can call them all over. If you want it quieter, then I’ll do it for you.”

“Do you really like celebrating birthdays?” Cheng Ke asked, smiling.

“Mm. It’s interesting, the day someone came into this world.” Jiang Yuduo said.

“Fine then,” Cheng Ke thought for a moment. “How do you spend your birthday?”

The smile on Jiang Yuduo’s face stiffened at first, then slowly disappeared. After taking a sip of wine, he said, “I don’t celebrate my birthday.”

“Why?” Cheng Ke blinked. A person who loved celebrating other people’s birthdays with such enthusiasm didn’t celebrate his own?

“I don’t know which day my birthday is.” Jiang Yuduo curved the corner of his mouth.

“Doesn’t your ID say June 1?” Cheng Ke said.

“That was… filled in randomly.” Jiang Yuduo said.