TA •Chapter 71

This question slipped out of Cheng Ke’s mouth.

In the past, whenever Xu Ding came up, Jiang Yuduo had never thought like this. Even with Lin Xu, at first he had firmly assumed Lin Xu was the problem, and nearly slit the man’s throat.

Now Jiang Yuduo’s meaning was very clear. He had suddenly made a guess about Xu Ding that he had never made before…

As soon as Cheng Ke asked, he regretted it a little. Jiang Yuduo’s thinking was sometimes very straightforward, and sometimes left no trace at all, as elusive as a drifting cloud. If his guess had nothing to do with any of this, then Cheng Ke would look really stupid.

Jiang Yuduo still hadn’t even figured out what kind of feeling his liking for him was, and Cheng Ke had already impatiently asked whether he was jealous…

"I don’t know, I’ve never been jealous before," Jiang Yuduo said after a pause. "I just think he’s been really good to you. Does he like you too?"

"Who knows," Cheng Ke let out a breath. That answer wasn’t bad. It hadn’t made him lose face. He walked toward the bathroom. "There are plenty of people who like me. It’s not necessarily impossible that one of them suddenly confesses."

"Is Xu Ding gay?" Jiang Yuduo followed him and stopped at the bathroom door.

Cheng Ke was just about to pull his pants down. He turned and saw him, then sighed. "Hey, I’m going to the bathroom. Give me some privacy."

Jiang Yuduo closed the bathroom door, then kept talking from outside. "If he isn’t gay, why would you say he liked you?"

"I didn’t say that," Cheng Ke said.

"Then is he?" Jiang Yuduo asked again.

Cheng Ke was getting a little speechless. Having someone question you back and forth through the door while you were trying to pee really killed the mood. He turned toward the door. "Can you ask me later? I’m trying to focus on peeing."

Jiang Yuduo went quiet. Cheng Ke let out a breath.

The toilet had just started flushing when Jiang Yuduo pushed open the bathroom door and poked his head in. "Is he?"

"Fuck," Cheng Ke had only just pulled his pants up. The shock nearly made him crash into the sink. "No, no, no, no! Xu Ding’s had a girlfriend for years!"

"…Oh." Jiang Yuduo answered and said nothing more. He just leaned against the bathroom door and watched him.

Cheng Ke put the toothbrush Jiang Yuduo had prepared for him on the counter, then picked up the toothpaste and bit the cap off. The process was slow. His left hand was awkward enough already, and he also figured Jiang Yuduo would immediately help if he saw this, so after fussing around for half a day, he finally squeezed out the toothpaste and started brushing. Jiang Yuduo still hadn’t moved at all, just leaning by the door and watching him.

Fuck, not considerate at all.

He hadn’t helped squeeze out the toothpaste when he was preparing the toothbrush, and now he still didn’t know to reach out and help.

After making out like a wild man once, he’d actually regressed…

Cheng Ke didn’t look at him. He started brushing in the mirror, but his left hand was already clumsy, and with Jiang Yuduo staring at him the whole time, it got even clumsier. Several times, he jabbed the toothbrush against his cheek.

Jiang Yuduo still didn’t say a word. He watched Cheng Ke squeeze out the toothpaste, brush his teeth, rinse, wash his face with one hand, and finally, when Cheng Ke really couldn’t wring the towel dry with one hand, he hung the dripping towel back on the rack and turned to look at him.

Just as he was about to ask whether Jiang Yuduo had not slept enough, Jiang Yuduo suddenly straightened and said, "I’m jealous."

"Wha…" Cheng Ke froze.

"I said I’m jealous," Jiang Yuduo said. "I thought about it for a long time, and I think I am jealous."

Cheng Ke was still frozen, not knowing what to say.

"Do you not use face wash?" Jiang Yuduo pointed at the shelf. "I bought one before, the same kind as the one you threw in the toilet. I was going to bring it over for you."

"You know what those four words, 'I’m jealous,' mean, right?" Cheng Ke finally snapped back to reality.

"It means the way I like you and the way you like me are the same kind of liking," Jiang Yuduo said. "That’s what it means, right?"

Cheng Ke didn’t speak. His feelings were a little turbulent.

"Right," Jiang Yuduo nodded. "That’s what it means."

Before Cheng Ke could say anything else, Jiang Yuduo turned and went back to the living room.

Cheng Ke had already finished washing up, but he didn’t go out. He stood in front of the mirror, dazed.

Really, he wasn’t that surprised when Jiang Yuduo said that. Jiang Yuduo was an idiot. He wasn’t. Even though he had always felt Jiang Yuduo couldn’t quite figure out what was going on with himself, he could still sense some things.

Besides, the intimate things the two of them had done together could practically fill a basket…

But when Jiang Yuduo suddenly said it like that, Cheng Ke was suddenly a little unsure.

Jiang Yuduo hadn’t grown up in any normal environment. Pain and fear were probably the things he had experienced most in his life. When it came to feelings, the impression he gave Cheng Ke had always been blurry. His definition of "friends," his definition of the relationships before friendship… he would even accept the identity of "boyfriend" just to have a unique title that belonged to him alone.

This "liking" now, Cheng Ke suddenly wasn’t so sure.

It was a little too fast, so fast that it gave him an illusion, as if saying he was "fine". After being called a mentally ill person in front of so many people by Cheng Yi, would Jiang Yuduo, out of fear of losing him, use "liking" to try to keep him?

Actually, if he didn’t think so much, Jiang Yuduo was an adult. Since he had said something like that, Cheng Ke could of course take it seriously… but he couldn’t do it. Maybe it was because he really cared too much about Jiang Yuduo, so this was the first time he hesitated in the face of something that could be called a confession.

He actually couldn’t tell whether Jiang Yuduo was really certain, or whether he only thought he himself was certain.

Even if it had been yesterday, if his hand hadn’t been injured, the two of them might have done something already, but now he still didn’t dare make a judgment lightly.

Because once Jiang Yuduo said that word, "like," their relationship was no longer something that could be explained with a simple line about physical desire.

It was another kind of relationship.

"Fuck." Cheng Ke looked at himself in the mirror.

For the first time, he had such a different feeling toward someone, and for the first time, he was tangled up because he felt too much.

A voice deep inside him was shouting, who cares if it’s that or not, just do it first! And another voice…

"But I do have something I need to tell you first." Jiang Yuduo suddenly came back to the bathroom door and knocked twice against the frame.

Cheng Ke was already in turmoil. The "to hell with it" camp and the "you can’t just ignore everything" camp were fighting like crazy, and Jiang Yuduo’s sudden shout, plus the knocking, startled him so badly that he blurted out, "Ah!"

"Well," Jiang Yuduo looked at him. "I feel like I’m okay with everything else. But that kind of thing, I don’t think I can accept it yet."

"What kind of thing?" Cheng Ke looked at him. "What else do you like?"

"I like you kissing me," Jiang Yuduo looked at him. After speaking, he even cleared his throat. "Touching me."

"Now?" Cheng Ke was shocked.

"Are you not awake yet?" Jiang Yuduo frowned, looking full of disdain. "Can you stop acting like an idiot? You’re 28 today, 29 by Chinese age, and 30 if you count…"

"You’re the idiot!" Cheng Ke finally snapped back, realizing what he meant. "Fine, I get it. You like me kissing you, touching you, and then what? What can’t you accept?"

"Going to bed," Jiang Yuduo said.

Those two blunt words, linked together seamlessly, shocked Cheng Ke yet again.

"Did you hear me?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"…I heard you," Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo smiled, leaned over, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Come on, let’s go eat something."

That smile, that voice, that tone, that light touch at the corner of his mouth. Cheng Ke felt like he could barely stand anymore. He just wanted to drop to his knees and扑过去, tear Jiang Yuduo’s pants off…

"Let’s go!" Jiang Yuduo shouted back over his shoulder.

Forget it, better not tear them off yet.

They had gotten up a bit late today, so what they were eating now wasn’t lunch, it was breakfast. And breakfast had to be eaten the way breakfast was meant to be eaten. That was Jiang Yuduo’s insistence.

So even though Cheng Ke was a little tempted to go eat hot pot, he still sat with Jiang Yuduo in a steamed bun shop.

"Do you want to call Xu Ding?" Jiang Yuduo pushed a steamer basket of buns in front of him.

"I’ll call after I eat." Cheng Ke picked up a bun.

Just as he took one bite, his phone rang.

Cheng Ke insisted on stuffing the whole bun into his mouth before he took out his phone. When he saw the caller ID, he paused.

"Who is it?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"My dad," Cheng Ke said around the mouthful of bun, his words muffled.

"Answer it," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Mm." Cheng Ke sighed, swallowed the bun, and picked up. "Dad."

"How’s your hand?" his father’s voice came from the other end.

"…It’s fine. They re-fixed it." Cheng Ke said.

"Someone who has trained is different. Even with an injury, he still managed to beat your younger brother like that," his father said.

Cheng Ke didn’t speak.

Although he had already decided to sever all ties with the family, and had also decided not to give in to his father or Cheng Yi anymore, when he heard that familiar voice, he still instinctively wanted to stay silent.

"Cheng Yi’s ankle is an open fracture," his father said. "Your boyfriend’s kick was pretty nasty too. You two match well."

"Thanks," Cheng Ke said.

He hadn’t expected Jiang Yuduo’s kick to be so hard.

"You have nothing to explain? Or should I have your boyfriend explain it to me instead?" his father said.

No.

That was the answer Cheng Ke almost blurted out. It was the answer he had been most used to all these years.

When an explanation was nothing but bullshit, having no explanation at all was the best relief. It could immediately end a conversation that only tormented people.

But this time, Cheng Ke didn’t choose to walk away like he used to.

"I’m very busy these next couple of days. I’ll explain when I have time," Cheng Ke said.

His father let out two cold laughs. "You’re busy? Busy with what?"

"Checking the accounts," Cheng Ke answered.

His father seemed to freeze on the other end. After a moment, he asked, "Checking which accounts?"

"The accounts for that café bar Cheng Yi gave me," Cheng Ke said. "I’m planning to buy out my share."

"What café bar?" his father asked. "When did he give you a café bar?"

"Looks like even you didn’t know," Cheng Ke said with a laugh. "I thought everyone knew except me."

His father said nothing.

"If there’s nothing else, I’m hanging up," Cheng Ke said.

"What are you planning to do about you and Cheng Yi?" his father asked.

"There’s nothing left between me and him that needs to be resolved," Cheng Ke said. "If he wants to buy the shop, then he and I will still need to contact each other once or twice. If he doesn’t buy it, then that’s the end of it. If he still dares to keep harassing my life, next time my boyfriend will break his other leg too."

Before his father could say anything else, Cheng Ke hung up, tossed his phone onto the table, and let out a breath.

"Cheng Yi’s foot is broken?" Jiang Yuduo looked at him in surprise.

"Yeah," Cheng Ke nodded. "Open fracture."

"Did I really use that much force?" Jiang Yuduo froze.

Cheng Ke smiled. He could still clearly remember Jiang Yuduo rushing over with that roar, and the moment he stepped down on Cheng Yi’s foot.

"Why is he so fragile?" Jiang Yuduo frowned.

Cheng Ke instantly laughed. He leaned back in his chair and laughed for a long time.

"What’s so funny," Jiang Yuduo sighed. "Have you eaten your brains these past two days?"

"It’s my birthday," Cheng Ke said with a smile. "I’m happy."

"Happy birthday," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Happy birthday," Cheng Ke said.