TA •Chapter 55

Actually, when Lin Xu came to ask him today, he asked quite obliquely. But Lin Xu had never really hidden his thoughts, so even though it was indirect, Cheng Ke still understood what he meant.

Cheng Ke had guessed Jiang Yuduo’s answer. Based on Lin Xu’s behavior in front of him, if he had any question like that, he would definitely ask Jiang Yuduo first. If he could get an answer from Jiang Yuduo, Lin Xu would absolutely not come and ask him again.

Lin Xu came to ask him because Jiang Yuduo had given him a vague, noncommittal answer.

But Cheng Ke only slowly came to his senses after answering “No,” and realized that Jiang Yuduo’s answer had left far too much room for wild speculation.

Based on his previous impression that Jiang Yuduo would go pale at the sight of anything same-sex and could only tolerate him because he considered him a friend, Jiang Yuduo should have been shocked by a question like Lin Xu’s, denied it without a second thought, and maybe even been a little annoyed, like, why would he think Cheng Ke was Jiang Yuduo’s boyfriend when he was obviously not some pretty little cutie?

But his answer clearly had not been that. Not only had it not been that, it had left Lin Xu enough room to imagine all sorts of things. To put it a little exaggeratedly, it could even count as a hint.

Cheng Ke had to refresh his assessment of Jiang Yuduo.

Jiang Yuduo’s reaction to his answer of “No” was also rather strange. He had not sighed in relief, and he had not cursed Lin Xu out for being a fucking idiot and actually going to ask. He was… embarrassed.

Cheng Ke was not a sensitive person most of the time. Especially around Jiang Yuduo, he often felt like a block of wood. But when it came to this kind of ambiguous, suggestive emotion, he was extremely sensitive.

After all, he had been soaked in this atmosphere since the day he realized his own orientation.

Even if he did not mind anyone knowing, not everyone could be like him. He always ran into those subtle probes and those almost-there, almost-not-there approaches. He might be slow to react and too lazy to spend the effort thinking them through, but he was still more sensitive to them than most people.

At the very least, much more sensitive than Jiang Yuduo.

Right now, the shocked and embarrassed Jiang Yuduo probably still did not know exactly what he had said, or why he had said it.

"Up to you," Jiang Yuduo said after staring at him for a long time.

"I’ve already answered," Cheng Ke said. "But if you’re not satisfied with my answer, I can clarify it to Lin Xu again."

"Clarify what?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Tell him that actually, you’re just…" Cheng Ke glanced at the driver and lowered his voice. "My boyfriend."

Jiang Yuduo’s eyes widened again.

"Need that?" Cheng Ke asked.

"I actually," Jiang Yuduo forced out three words with great difficulty, then fell silent. He turned to stare out the window, and after a long while he turned back and whispered in Cheng Ke’s ear, "I didn’t mean it like that either. I just… wanted Lin Xu to stay away from you."

"Why?" Cheng Ke asked softly.

Yeah, why!

Jiang Yuduo bit his lip.

Because he did not trust Lin Xu. Because he thought Lin Xu had an agenda. Because he thought Lin Xu was suspicious. But he could not let Cheng Ke know any of that. In front of Cheng Ke, he had to be, and could only be, a "normal person."

He did not know what kind of answer would seem normal. After all these years, he had always said what was on his mind. If he did not want to say it directly, then he simply did not say it.

"I just don’t really like him," Jiang Yuduo finally chose what, in his own opinion, was a very childish answer.

"…Oh." Cheng Ke looked at him. After a moment he asked, "That’s it?"

"That’s it," Jiang Yuduo said. "What else would there be? If I don’t like someone, that’s just the way I act."

Cheng Ke smiled without saying anything, and from that smile, Jiang Yuduo could not tell whether he was satisfied with the explanation.

Jiang Yuduo had no experience with this sort of thing. He had never been this nervous in his life just because he was making up an excuse. He had never run into anything that required this kind of experience.

"I just thought maybe he wanted to pursue you," Jiang Yuduo added after thinking about it. "How long have you known each other? You haven’t even met that many times…"

"Four times," Cheng Ke said. "Including today."

"Exactly," Jiang Yuduo said. "That’s way too unreliable. Better let him… give up on the idea."

"Mm, fair enough," Cheng Ke said with a nod. "Then I’ll tell him that, you’re my boyfriend."

When Cheng Ke said it, he did not really keep his voice down. The driver in front probably heard him, and turned his head a little in surprise.

"Watch the road." Jiang Yuduo said to the back of the driver’s head in a low voice.

The driver immediately straightened his head and looked forward.

Only then did Jiang Yuduo sink back into shock. He turned sharply to stare at Cheng Ke.

But Cheng Ke had already looked away and was leaning against the window glass, looking out at the street. Jiang Yuduo’s shock fell flat, and he had no choice but to swallow it back down.

Well, this was good.

Amazing, even.

He had actually gone and given himself a boyfriend.

And who knew what Cheng Ke was thinking now… Cheng Ke usually looked carefree, like he did not care about anything, but the questions he had asked that day had been eerily accurate.

The car stopped in front of the mall. Jiang Yuduo got out first, then turned back and reached out a hand.

"I can get down myself," Cheng Ke said as he moved toward the door.

Jiang Yuduo did not say anything. He just grabbed Cheng Ke’s left hand and pulled, half carrying and half dragging him out of the car.

"Fuck!" Cheng Ke stumbled as he was yanked out, looking a little miserable. "Are you hauling cargo?"

"The driver keeps looking at us," Jiang Yuduo said with a frown.

"So let him look," Cheng Ke said. "It’s not like you can stop him."

"Uncomfortable." Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke sighed. "I did say that a little too loudly, but it’s not that big of a deal. Even if he thinks you’re gay, so what? At most he’ll go back and tell his friends he drove two gay guys around today, and by the time he turns around he won’t even remember what you look like."

"Really." Jiang Yuduo looked at him.

"See," Cheng Ke said, pointing casually into the crowd coming out of the mall, "that guy there, the one carrying a tote bag, he’s gay."

Jiang Yuduo glanced over there.

Cheng Ke raised a hand, held his chin, and turned his face back. "Okay, count to ten."

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten," Jiang Yuduo counted from one to ten with a blank look. "Why am I counting?"

"Now I’m asking you," Cheng Ke said. "What did that guy look like?"

Jiang Yuduo did not answer.

"You don’t remember, do you?" Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo looked at him. After a few seconds, he said, "I do."

"…Bullshit!" Cheng Ke was a little speechless. "You only looked once. How the hell would you remember?"

"If I’ve looked at someone even half a time, I can remember them." Jiang Yuduo said.

"Sure you can." Cheng Ke was extremely unhappy that his little live lesson in psychological self-help had been wrecked by Jiang Yuduo.

Jiang Yuduo suddenly grabbed his arm and started walking back.

"Where are we going?" Cheng Ke asked, looking at the mall entrance getting farther and farther away.

Jiang Yuduo did not answer. He pulled Cheng Ke across the street, walked a little farther, then pointed ahead. "That’s him."

"What?" Cheng Ke still did not get it.

"The guy you just said was gay, that’s him," Jiang Yuduo said, pointing at a man up ahead. "His nose is a little crooked, leans to the left. Maybe he fell when he was little…"

"You fucking…" Cheng Ke stared at the back of the man ahead of them. "You looked at the back of a head and knew his nose was crooked…?"

"Hey!" Jiang Yuduo suddenly shouted.

Cheng Ke jumped at the sound. Before he could even collect himself, everyone around them had turned to look, and the man ahead also turned around.

Damn it!

His nose really was a little crooked to the left!

Fuck!

Only after the shock passed did Cheng Ke suddenly remember that, from childhood to adulthood, he had never once been watched by a crowd on the street because of some random yelling.

"Go, go, go, go, go!" he said in a low voice. "I fucking surrender!"

Only then did Jiang Yuduo turn back with satisfaction and start walking.

After two steps, Cheng Ke suddenly froze. "That guy doesn’t have a tote bag! It’s not him!"

"He does," Jiang Yuduo said. "There were four of them. The tote bag went to another guy, and that guy took it over there…"

As he spoke, Jiang Yuduo looked toward a small road to the side. "That way is the parking lot. Come with me…"

"No! No, no! No need! No!" Cheng Ke hurriedly grabbed him and dragged him back toward the mall. "Thank you for your performance, it was very impressive. I totally believe you now, I don’t doubt it at all."

"I even know what brand the bag was." Jiang Yuduo said.

"Shut up!" Cheng Ke said.

Jiang Yuduo immediately shut up and said no more.

Cheng Ke’s brain was packed full of dizziness and confusion. It was not until they walked back to the mall entrance that he found the reason he had asked Jiang Yuduo to look at that man.

Every time, Jiang Yuduo could use all kinds of bizarre circuitry in his brain to send a topic veering a thousand miles off course…

"What I meant when I told you to look at that guy just now," Cheng Ke sighed, "wasn’t to test your observation skills."

"I know." Jiang Yuduo said.

"You know what?" Cheng Ke shot him a look.

"You wanted to prove that the driver wouldn’t remember us in a while." Jiang Yuduo said.

"Right," Cheng Ke said with relief. "A lot of things are like that. Good things, bad things, painful things, embarrassing things, all things, really. In the end, the only one who can remember them is yourself. Other people won’t remember them. No matter how big it is, most people won’t remember it afterward."

Jiang Yuduo stopped and turned to look at him. "Really."

"Pretty much," Cheng Ke said. "You look at the news on your phone every day, so many stories, so many explosive, novel things. How long can you remember them? Last week I even donated money to some news story about a sick child, but now I already don’t remember what that child was called."

"There are a lot of people like you, right?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"Pretty many, I guess." Cheng Ke said.

"Yeah," Jiang Yuduo looked around at the crowd coming and going on all sides. "So many people. Whether something is good or bad, what pain they had before, what they’re dealing with now, whether things will get better later, nobody else will know except themselves, right?"

"That’s a little extreme when you put it like that…" Cheng Ke felt that there was something a little pessimistic in his words and was trying to soften it and keep talking when Jiang Yuduo had already turned and started walking toward the elevator.

"What are you buying?" Jiang Yuduo asked, turning back.

"I don’t know," Cheng Ke said. "Liquor, ginseng gift boxes, stuff like that."

"Ginseng?" Jiang Yuduo paused. "If you’re planning to spend money like that, you might as well just give Chen Qing’s mom a red envelope. Otherwise, after you buy it she’ll still have to carry it back to return it, and if she can’t return it she’ll have to find the people at the corner shop to sell it…"

"What kind of operation is that?" Cheng Ke was genuinely shocked.

"A cash-out operation during New Year’s," Jiang Yuduo said. "Lu Xi accepts those things too, then flips them. If you really gave her something like that, Chen Qing’s mom might ask me to help sell it."

Cheng Ke thought about it and found it pretty funny. He laughed for a long time. "I really didn’t think of that."

"What does your family do with all the stuff they receive for New Year? The things you can’t use or eat?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"My mom probably throws some of it away, and anything the housekeeper likes, she gives to her." Cheng Ke said.

"The housekeeper might sell it too." Jiang Yuduo said.

"…Get lost." Cheng Ke laughed again.

"Human life is pretty fun, huh?" Jiang Yuduo clicked his tongue. "Little fairy."

"Get lost, get lost." Cheng Ke turned and got onto the elevator.

Just handing over a red envelope would actually have been a little rude. The other person was an elder he had never even met before, and even if he gave a red envelope, he would not know how big it should be. Cheng Ke still thought buying something was more appropriate.

"Then let me give you an idea," Jiang Yuduo said. "Buy a set of those really cute hats, scarves, and gloves with cats, dogs, or bears on them."

"What?" Cheng Ke looked at him.

"Chen Qing’s mom really likes them. She wanted to buy them before, but his dad wouldn’t let her." Jiang Yuduo said.

"No, anybody would say no. How old is she?" Cheng Ke said.

"As long as she’s happy," Jiang Yuduo said. "There are so many things you want but can’t have. If it’s something you want and can get, then just buy it."

Cheng Ke looked at him and felt that this made a lot of sense.

"Fine, then I’ll buy the three-piece set." Cheng Ke nodded.

When they got to Chen Qing’s house, someone in the neighborhood was setting off firecrackers. They were strung from the sixth floor all the way to the first, bursting from sky to ground in a dazed, dizzying racket.

Chen Qing ran out from the stairwell. Only when he got close did Cheng Ke see who it was.

"Come on, come on," Chen Qing waved them over. "I’d been lying on the windowsill watching. The moment I saw you get out of the car, I came down."

"So grand," Cheng Ke said.

"Of course," Chen Qing said with a grin. "No matter what, this is the first time Third Brother has brought someone to my house to meet the family. I’m especially excited. It feels like I’m watching someone’s daughter-in-law meeting her in-laws…"

"You fucking brat!" Jiang Yuduo slapped him on the back. "You want to be respectful to your elders, huh!"

Cheng Ke thought Jiang Yuduo’s main point in the heat of the moment had probably gone a little off.

"No," Chen Qing said, rubbing his arm. "Just look at the two of you yourselves. You even changed clothes into each other’s. I was stunned when you got out of the car. If you two really said you were a young couple here to meet the parents…"

"Get lost!" Jiang Yuduo roared, probably finally hitting the right point this time. "Go upstairs!"

Chen Qing shot up the stairs like the wind. Jiang Yuduo looked back. "His place is on the seventh floor. There’s no elevator. You okay?"

"…What, if I’m not okay, are you going to carry me up?" Cheng Ke asked.

"I’m just asking." Jiang Yuduo turned and headed upstairs.

Cheng Ke followed behind him and felt like laughing a little.

Chen Qing’s parents were very warm. They should have been the strict father, kind mother type, but Chen Dad’s strictness was clearly pointed in the wrong direction. The moment they entered, he launched into a scolding barrage at Chen Qing for not closing the door when he came downstairs. He cursed for a solid minute before turning and noticing Jiang Yuduo and Cheng Ke still standing at the door.

"Hey! Come in! What are you standing there for!" Chen Dad hurriedly waved them in.

"Standing there watching you scold someone," Chen Mom said.

"You don’t need to watch Third Brother, though. You’ve seen him enough times already," Chen Dad said.

"My friend, Cheng Ke." Jiang Yuduo came in and introduced Cheng Ke behind him.

"Happy New Year, Uncle, Auntie," Cheng Ke greeted them.

"Happy New Year, happy New Year," Chen Mom said. "Third Brother’s friend doesn’t look ordinary at all. He’s not one of the ones who hangs around with Qiang’er, is he?"

"We hang around together too. Why can’t we hang around together?" Chen Qing said, very unconvinced. "Maybe it’s us who don’t want to bring him along?"

Cheng Ke smiled.

This was the first time Cheng Ke had spent Lantern Festival anywhere other than his own home or a relative’s house, but this entire New Year had already been unusual enough that today did not give him much to sigh over. It was probably still a good thing. At the very least, he was at home, someone was busy in the kitchen making a whole table of dishes, and he could sit around a table eating and drinking with a group of people.

Even if he was not especially used to the atmosphere at Chen Qing’s house, he still felt pretty good about it.

Chen Dad was a rough man. Jiang Yuduo had not been wrong, he was really coarse, with every other sentence full of body parts and explicit dirty jokes. Chen Mom was about the same, but she had a much better temper. Especially after she received the hat, scarf, and glove set Cheng Ke had given her, she had been smiling all evening.

"Chen Qing said you’re some rich young master," Chen Dad held out his wine cup. "Looking at you, I’d say so too. Look at our neighborhood, someone like you really stands out. One glance and I can tell you’re not from around here."

Cheng Ke picked up his cup and smiled without speaking.

"My son getting to know a young master like you is probably because he stepped in shit," Chen Dad said as he tapped Cheng Ke’s cup. "This shit…"

Chen Qing cleared his throat beside them.

"What, you want to eat it?" Chen Dad turned and glared at him.

"We’re eating here, why are you saying that?" Chen Qing said. "You’re making people lose their appe… Cheng Ke-ge still eating or not?"

"It’s already done! This is the closing drink! You get it?" Chen Dad continued glaring at him.

"Uncle, Auntie, may you be healthy." Cheng Ke smiled and lightly tapped his cup against his, then tipped his head back and drank.

Chen Dad also tipped his head back and drank.

After dinner, Jiang Yuduo did not stay long at Chen Qing’s house. His family was hosting a mahjong night that evening, and once the table was cleared, Chen Mom set up the mahjong table.

"We’re leaving," Jiang Yuduo said. "Going to see the lanterns."

"I’m going too." Chen Qing stood up immediately.

"Help out a bit," Chen Mom said. "Run errands and whatnot. What are you going to see lanterns for? You haven’t even seen them twice in your whole life. There’s a table lamp over there, you can hold that and look at it."

"Fuck." Chen Qing sat back down, very depressed.

"Check my Moments," Cheng Ke said. "I’ll take pictures of the lanterns and post them later."

"Fine, drive there yourselves. There’s no way you’ll get a taxi now," Chen Qing tossed the keys over. "Record some short videos too. I heard the scale’s bigger than previous years."

"Okay." Cheng Ke nodded.

After they left Chen Qing’s house and returned to the smoke-filled street blasting with firecrackers, Cheng Ke breathed a sigh of relief and looked at the keys in his hand. "What car is this today?"

"Chen Qing’s own car," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Chen Qing actually has a car?" Cheng Ke was shocked all over again and quickly looked at the key in his hand. "Wait, is it a battery car?"

"It’s one of those two-door little cars, runs on gas and electricity," Jiang Yuduo said. "Less than forty thousand, I think. His mom bought it for him."

"Oh." Cheng Ke tried pressing the remote. A car about five meters away called out. He walked over to take a closer look and immediately laughed. "Can the two of us even fit in this?"

"Yeah, the inside is pretty big," Jiang Yuduo said. "If Chen Qing came with us, we could even stuff him in the trunk."

"It has a trunk too?" Cheng Ke immediately walked around to the back, tried opening it, and it actually opened. There was about twenty centimeters of space behind the two seats. "This is the trunk?"

"Yep." Jiang Yuduo nodded, took off his jacket, rolled it up, and put it in the space. "See, you can even put clothes in here."

Cheng Ke looked at the clothes and could not help laughing. He leaned against the back of the car and laughed for quite a while. "Hey, that really is… come on, help me take off my coat too, I’ll put mine in…"

After saying that, he felt a little awkward. But usually he was the only one who would feel awkward about something like that, so he glanced at Jiang Yuduo.

Jiang Yuduo did not say anything. He helped him take off his coat, rolled it up, and put it into the trunk.

From Jiang Yuduo’s reaction, Cheng Ke could tell he was not the only one who thought something about this felt off.

Jiang Yuduo’s straight-man brain probably had already changed a little because of that boyfriend line. A sentence that he normally would not have cared about at all could now make him embarrassed too.

Cheng Ke sighed, opened the car door, and climbed in to sit in the passenger seat.

Tonight there was a lantern festival at the square, and the opening event was a fireworks show. By the time they drove there in the little two-door car with a trunk, the fireworks had already started, and from a distance they could see golden flowers bursting up into the sky above the tall buildings.

"Want to watch here for a bit? The road ahead is probably jammed by now," Cheng Ke said. "This angle seems pretty good."

"It’ll be clearer one intersection ahead," Jiang Yuduo said, continuing to drive forward. After crossing this street, he stopped. "Here."

"Mm." Cheng Ke looked out through the window. From this angle, they could see a pretty complete view, and even the smaller fireworks below were clearly visible.

Chen Qing’s little car showed its absolute advantage at a time like this. Jiang Yuduo actually forced the car into the gap between two parked cars by the curb.

"How is it?" He lit a cigarette cheerfully, bit it between his teeth, rolled down half the window, and leaned back in his seat.

"Comfortable." Cheng Ke also lit a cigarette.

"Do you like watching fireworks?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Pretty much," Cheng Ke said. "But I like the pure colors, silver, gold, especially the ones with a lot of texture."

"I like all kinds," Jiang Yuduo said. "The first time I saw them, I was shocked. There was something so beautiful, so bright. It was so bright you couldn’t even see how dark the night was."

"When was the first time you saw fireworks?" Cheng Ke asked with a smile.

"When I came out of my parents’ house," Jiang Yuduo said. "Someone took us to a competition. We happened to pass by, and someone was setting off fireworks on top of a building, just a few shots."

Cheng Ke’s smile stiffened. After taking a drag from his cigarette, he asked, "What competition?"

Jiang Yuduo did not answer, and there was no sign that he was about to explode or suddenly flare up. He looked very calm, as if he were remembering something.

After a while, he turned his face and looked at Cheng Ke. "Do you know what it means to train an eagle?"