TA •Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Ever since the day Cheng Yi called to tell him to go home and got refused, Cheng Ke’s phone had not rung again. No calls, no messages.

Everyone else was on holiday. It was New Year’s.

Those who were celebrating kept in touch. Those who weren’t were forgotten.

Especially someone like him, who had already left the life he’d grown up in, but had never settled into any new circle of his own.

On a day like this, probably no one would remember him again.

No, the hotel still remembered him.

He received a New Year gift delivered by the hotel.

No, that didn’t count as remembering.

Here, he was just like a lot of other people, called a “distinguished guest,” not Cheng Ke.

He opened the gift. Inside were several boxes, some pastries, dried nuts, and a box of fresh fruit, all the things a family would prepare for New Year’s.

Cheng Ke took an egg roll and ate it, then checked the time. It still wasn’t noon.

If he went out now, there would definitely be nowhere to eat, so he stuffed a whole bag of egg rolls into his coat pocket, then took his laptop and left.

It was still possible to get a cab, and even if he couldn’t, it was only a twenty-minute walk from the hotel to the shop.

When he left, Cheng Ke looked through all the coats hanging in the hotel closet one by one. It was especially cold today. That morning he had opened the window for a little while, and the wind pouring in from outside had brushed across his face like a whip soaked in water.

He pawed through them back and forth and picked the thickest one, Jiang Yuduo’s fake matching style.

He had always wanted to find the same coat Jiang Yuduo wore, but he had no idea what wholesale market it had come from. He had tried going to the vegetable market nearby, and found this one in the clothing section.

To be honest, apart from being heavy and bulky, it couldn’t compare to Jiang Yuduo’s. It also cost more than five hundred. He kept feeling like the老板 had probably seen him as a sucker and jacked up the price on the spot, opening with eight hundred, even though that was after he’d bargained it down…

If Jiang Yuduo had been there to help, he probably could have gotten it for three hundred. After all, Jiang Yuduo’s coat was better than this one, and it had only cost a little over four hundred… No, if Jiang Yuduo had been there, they would have just gone and bought the same one Jiang Yuduo was wearing.

When Cheng Ke was standing by the elevator in this big thick coat, carrying a bag full of fireworks he’d bought yesterday, he realized he had been thinking about Jiang Yuduo the whole time.

After hesitating for a long time, when the elevator doors opened, he turned back and went to his room.

He changed into the second-thickest coat.

Then he went back to press the elevator button.

This coat was obviously nowhere near as warm as the one before it. Just those few seconds from leaving the hotel to getting into the taxi, he could already feel the cold.

By now there was no one left on the streets. Firecrackers were going off everywhere, and the whole world outside the window was wrapped in the haze of smoke and drifting snow. The driver raced along the road, eager to finish this one fare and get home.

His phone rang. Cheng Ke glanced at it.

Xu Ding’s message.

– Really not coming to my place? There are a ton of people here right now, it’s lively.

– Really not, thanks. See you on the third day of the new year.

– Fine then. Happy New Year.

– Happy New Year.

Cheng Ke put his phone back in his pocket. Less than two minutes later, it rang again. He took it out, and this time it was a message from Lin Xu.

– Brother Cheng, Happy New Year. Come out for a drink when you’re free.

– Happy New Year.

Cheng Ke let out a soft sigh. Lin Xu was pretty sensible. After running into Jiang Yuduo at the bar last time, he hadn’t contacted him again, and hadn’t asked a single extra question.

Seeing this casual-looking message, he only then remembered that he had never given Lin Xu any explanation at all, and immediately felt a little embarrassed.

Not long after he replied, the car arrived.

After Cheng Ke got out, the car shot off in a flash and disappeared. He stood in the old north wind mixed with snowflakes and smoke, almost unable to even figure out which way to go.

When he took out his key to open the door, he was shivering a little. It felt just like fleeing the apocalypse. Everyone around him had already escaped, and he had found a little hut where he could hide…

How the hell did you open this roller shutter again?

Oh, it opened.

The shop hadn’t changed much. He turned on the lights and sat down on a paint bucket on the first floor.

He planned to start from the first floor and work upward, go over the details they had discussed that day again, and sketch out a rough draft to get a feel for it.

On a day like this, if he didn’t find something to do for himself, getting through it was just too hard.

Even though he had prepared a bag full of fireworks for himself, he now didn’t want to look at them at all.

His phone rang again.

He sighed. It wasn’t even twelve yet. Why was everyone so enthusiastic?

This time it was Coach Xiao Yang.

After sending a whole string of template New Year’s greetings, there was another message behind it.

– Brother Cheng, you’ve been slacking off a bit lately, haven’t you? It’s been how long since you came to practice? We need to pick it up after the new year.

Cheng Ke let his finger wander back and forth over the screen for a long time before finally sending back one word.

– Okay.

He didn’t usually message people like this. Back when he was with that whole group of friends, they wouldn’t have sent this many Happy New Year messages either. He usually chose to ignore messages like these, but now he wanted to reply. He just didn’t know what to say.

It was exhausting.

Just as he was about to exit, he hesitated again and tapped into his Moments.

The first thing that caught his eye was Guanzhang Jiujiuba 80 posts of New Year greeting images flooding the feed. Even the shop’s ads hadn’t taken a holiday.

Cheng Ke very seriously scrolled down through every one of Guanzhang’s posts over this period, taking an astonishing amount of time, until his eyes were swimming.

Then he noticed uneasily that the last time Guanzhang had appeared in the identity of Jiang Yuduo’s global fan club had been ten days ago.

The text was only two words, get-together.

There were also a few photos.

Taken by the flower bed of the little street park they usually hung around in.

Jiang Yuduo and his little brothers.

Cheng Ke opened the photos and pinched to zoom in, trying to see Jiang Yuduo’s face clearly with the cigarette in his mouth.

But after only one zoom, the photo couldn’t enlarge anymore.

“Fuck!” Cheng Ke was utterly speechless.

Guanzhang’s photos looked like they had been taken with a landline phone. The resolution was appallingly low, and the hand had been shaking too. Every photo turned blurry when zoomed in.

He could only stare helplessly at the unzoomed photo.

Jiang Yuduo was still the same as ever, with that unmistakable presence you could spot at a glance in any crowd.

Cigarette in his mouth, eyes somewhere off to the side, his face carrying that impatient indifference.

Where had Jiang Yuduo gone?

Was he no longer with Chen Qing?

Going by Chen Qing’s habits, as long as Jiang Yuduo was beside him, he would definitely post photos. But now, for ten straight days, Jiang Yuduo hadn’t even been mentioned…

Cheng Ke exited and tapped into Jiang Yuduo’s album.

Completely empty.

Even that little explicit ID photo was gone.

Cheng Ke stared at his phone for a very long time, then gave a light sigh.

Starting from six in the evening, the firecrackers around him had gone crazy, as if the world were exploding.

By now it was past ten, and things had quieted down a little, like they were waiting for the burst after eleven thirty.

Jiang Yuduo carried Miaomiao and set it on a stone pedestal beside the bridge railing, then tugged up the tiger-head hat on its head and leaned closer to shout, “Don’t move! I’m taking your picture!”

Miaomiao was worthy of being a stray cat. It had basically gotten used to the wild sounds all around it. On top of that, it was wearing clothes and had a hat on its head, so right now all its attention was on the hat, and it was tilting its head, trying to claw the hat off.

Jiang Yuduo took out his phone and snapped a few photos of it. Looking at them, the effect was pretty good. It looked a lot like a rich little lord. He sent the photo to his friends and wrote a few words.

Miaomiao, the wealthy one.

“Come on,” Jiang Yuduo picked it up and stuffed it into his coat. “Let’s go for a walk.”

There weren’t many people on the street. Even if there were, you couldn’t make them out clearly. Jiang Yuduo deliberately kept himself from looking around.

Luo-jie had invited him to her house for New Year’s Eve dinner tonight, but he had refused. For so many years, aside from Chen Qing’s family, he had never even gone to Lu Xi’s house at New Year’s Eve.

He didn’t feel much about New Year. Whether it was lively or lonely, he was pretty numb to it.

Any kind of emotion had to be connected to oneself before it could truly be felt. In other people’s lives, he was always just a supporting character, there and gone, that was all.

And his own life was empty.

His phone rang. It probably wasn’t Chen Qing. Chen Qing had already called him 3,657 times today, and if you counted the ones from the previous days, together they could have made a whole pile of fine gold.

The call was from Lu Xi. “Why aren’t you checking your phone? I sent you a red packet. Hurry up and accept it!”

“Oh.” Jiang Yuduo answered.

“Oh what? Say Happy New Year to me!” Lu Xi said.

“Happy New Year, sis.” Jiang Yuduo smiled.

“Good boy. Once you’ve had enough fun, hurry back, okay? Bring Chen Qing and the others too, we’ll have a meal together.” Lu Xi said.

“Mm.” Jiang Yuduo said.

After hanging up, he opened WeChat and saw Lu Xi’s red packet, or rather, transfer.

Ten thousand yuan, a very fat red packet.

He accepted it, then replied to Lu Xi again.

– Thanks, sis.

Just as he was about to exit, he paused, then opened Cheng Ke’s Moments.

These past few days, he had rarely thought of Cheng Ke. Even when he saw that Jaeger-LeCoultre watch in his bag, he hadn’t felt much. He only remembered that it was Cheng Ke’s watch, and that for Cheng Ke, the meaning of this watch was “annoyed.”

But now, looking at Cheng Ke’s name, he suddenly felt a little nervous. He couldn’t tell whether it was fear, resistance, or a bit of anticipation.

Cheng Ke’s Moments had always been empty. This person never posted anything.

But today he had. Just ten minutes ago.

No words, no emoji, only a photo.

In the photo was a stretch of fireworks like a colorful fountain, filling almost the entire frame.

Jiang Yuduo tapped the photo and slowly enlarged it.

The glow of the fireworks also grew little by little, until it became a few hazy patches of light.

Cheng Ke should have been setting off fireworks with his friends.

Xu Ding, Lin Xu, or some other people.

Those friends who lived in the same world as Cheng Ke, who posed no threat to him and would never bring him any trouble.

Cheng Ke, after leaving him, had not suffered any harm he had once worried about. He was very safe.

Jiang Yuduo opened the chat window.

His chat history with Cheng Ke stopped way back, with almost nothing in it.

He hesitated, poked at the screen a few times, and typed out the four characters for Happy New Year.

When Miaomiao poked its head out from inside his coat, he quickly deleted the words, then exited and put the phone back in his pocket.

Cheng Ke had said they were still friends.

Jiang Yuduo wasn’t too sure now whether that was the truth, or whether Cheng Ke had said it because he was afraid Jiang Yuduo would be hurt, or whether it was just Cheng Ke’s upbringing.

His phone rang once in his pocket.

He didn’t move. Sitting on the roadside bench, he lit a cigarette.

The weather over here was pretty good. At this time of year, no snow, no crazy old north wind, and there were even still green leaves on the trees.

He took Miaomiao out of his coat and set it on the ground. The outfit came with a leash, but he didn’t use it.

If he ever kept a dog, he would definitely be a bad citizen, the kind who walked their dog without a leash.

Any animal that was tied up would make his heart clench.

Those little animals in his memory, chained to iron links, baring their teeth at him, their eyes full of fear.

A lot of them had been strays he had gone to catch back, wandering at night and hiding in all kinds of corners.

Some things he still remembered very clearly.

Maybe he remembered everything. Forgetting was just an excuse. Every nightmare reminded him that, in fact, he hadn’t forgotten anything at all.

Just like he had thought Cheng Ke was already beginning to disappear, only to suddenly realize that he still hadn’t even blurred yet.

Cheng Ke stared at his phone. Half an hour passed, and Jiang Yuduo still hadn’t replied.

He sighed.

But when he saw Miaomiao, dressed in a bright red vest trimmed with white fur and wearing a red Lei Feng hat, with a face full of unwillingness, he laughed for a long time.

Jiang Yuduo must have gone traveling somewhere, a place without snow.

He set the last little fireworks tube on the open ground, trembling as he lit a cigarette, then went over and lit the fuse.

When the sparks started spitting out, he picked up his phone and was just about to take a picture when a blast of old north wind blew over. The tube was knocked over in an instant, and the sparks sprayed straight at him.

“Your damn grandfather!” Cheng Ke turned and ran like mad, dashing back into the shop in a few steps.

He waited until the fireworks had completely finished from behind the glass door before going back out, stomping on a few bits of scorched scrap paper that had been sprayed with sparks to put the flames out.

He had only been outside for about twenty minutes, but he had already run out of ways to distract himself from boredom and loneliness.

He stood in the shop for a while, put on his coat, wrapped himself up, and then walked out.

He might as well go back to the hotel and sleep.

There were no cars at this time, so he jogged all the way toward the hotel. He didn’t feel that cold by the time he got there. The hotel convenience store was still open, so he went in and bought two bottles of wine and carried them back to his room.

Jiang Yuduo hadn’t replied to his message. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but in this very special day and this very special state, it still gave him a very disappointing cotton punch.

That night, he stood outside everyone else’s world, and even outside Jiang Yuduo’s world, the one that had guarded him like a neurotic demon.

To make sure he could sleep in this extreme loneliness, after he got back to the room, he drank both bottles of red wine.

The wine was okay. It tasted a little better than the ones on the shelves in the convenience store across the street.

He lay down on the bed. He really should have bought baijiu. These two bottles of red wine only made him feel a little bloated right now, and the hypnotic effect still hadn’t shown itself.

He just lay there with his eyes open. His back had already started to go numb, and he still wasn’t asleep.

But he seemed a little dizzy. When his phone rang, he jerked so hard that he couldn’t even tell where the sound had come from. He reached for it beside the pillow and turned his head slightly, only to realize he really was dizzy. He couldn’t even make out the words on the screen.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Happy New Year.” Someone said into the receiver.

Cheng Ke froze. “Jiang Yuduo?”

“Mm,” Jiang Yuduo answered. After a moment of silence, he said, “I just saw your message.”

“Oh,” Cheng Ke looked at his phone. He had sent the message almost two hours ago, and it was already past midnight. “It was too noisy, huh?”

“Not noisy,” Jiang Yuduo said. “I heard my phone ring. I just didn’t look at it.”

“…Ah,” Cheng Ke laughed. Jiang Yuduo was still this straightforward. “Happy New Year.”

“You… you were setting off fireworks? They looked pretty good.” Jiang Yuduo said.

“Nothing to do, so I just played around with them,” Cheng Ke said. “I only bought that much. It was all gone in five minutes. The last one almost burned me, too.”

“That could burn you?” Jiang Yuduo sounded a little surprised. “Did you light it with a torch?”

“Get lost,” Cheng Ke laughed.

“Are you alone?” Jiang Yuduo asked, sounding a little hesitant.

Cheng Ke hesitated too and cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“I thought…” Jiang Yuduo paused. “Weren’t you with those friends of yours or something?”

Cheng Ke laughed. “I told you before, my definition of friends is different from yours. I don’t have friends I can hang out with like that at times like this.”

Jiang Yuduo didn’t say anything.

“You…” Cheng Ke hadn’t wanted to ask, but he felt it would be too deliberate not to, so he still spoke up. “Did you take Miaomiao traveling?”

“Hm?” Jiang Yuduo laughed softly. “You saw the photo?”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny.” Cheng Ke said.

“I’m not traveling.” Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke waited a while. Seeing that Jiang Yuduo seemed to have finished saying that, he could only answer, “Oh.”

“I came to see my psychiatrist.” Jiang Yuduo said.