TA •Chapter 27

Jiang Yuduo knew that Cheng Ke was not very familiar with all sorts of everyday common sense or housework, but he had really not expected that he could not even put a duvet cover on.

The bed, though, had been tidied up quite neatly. The quilt was flattened out, the top edge folded over… and then it was obvious at a glance that the duvet cover was underneath the quilt, with the pillowcases floating on top of the pillows.

He had always thought that even if someone was a pig, if they really had to put on a duvet cover, they would not be unable to manage it. At worst, it would just take some time. Yet Cheng Ke was using facts to prove to him that after moving in, he might have been sleeping like this the whole time, in layers this clear-cut.

Jiang Yuduo had occasionally felt that Cheng Ke had some suspicious little details about him. If he really counted them up, there were quite a few. But his judgment of Cheng Ke had always wavered, because most of the time Cheng Ke looked like a good-natured idiot.

Today, he decided not to doubt Cheng Ke anymore. If there really was some problem, Cheng Ke could only be the one being victimized.

Putting aside the fact that during the fight with Ba Pie, he had already placed Cheng Ke in the circle of friends, that was probably the second reason.

Sleeping was a very happy thing. Everyone wanted to make themselves sleep more comfortably, and this way of sleeping with the duvet cover wrapping the arms and legs, while a quilt that could drift off course at any moment pressed down on top, once again proved that Cheng Ke was harmless.

Liu Qian had told him many years ago to try believing his friends.

But that request was really too difficult for Jiang Yuduo. Even now, he still believed there was no one who truly would not bring harm.

If he absolutely had to believe in friends, then he could only reduce the number of friends as much as possible.

Liu Qian and Chen Qing were both his friends, friends he could trust. He had also had a few other friends, but Jiang Yuduo had already forgotten who they were, and even whether they had been male or female.

So believing in friends also came at a high price. They might not necessarily hurt you, but they would quietly disappear from your life without you noticing, and never appear again.

Cheng Ke might become that kind of friend.

One day, this young master who could not even put on a duvet cover would return to a wealthy family, either by winning the struggle against his younger brother, or by becoming a lump of flesh that no longer struggled. Then Cheng Ke would disappear from his life as well.

Slowly, he would stop thinking about this person.

"The point of a duvet cover is to protect the quilt from getting dirty," Cheng Ke said. "What’s the essential difference between fully enclosing it and half enclosing it? Either way, it keeps the person and the quilt apart."

"…Isn’t it uncomfortable to sleep in?" Jiang Yuduo closed the bedroom door.

"It is," Cheng Ke said. "But I’m used to it now, it’s pretty good. It’s also very convenient when washing the duvet cover, since I don’t even have to take it off."

"Oh," Jiang Yuduo looked at him. "I was going to teach you how to put it on. Since you don’t even want to take it off, forget it."

"You know how?" Cheng Ke asked right away.

"I’m not trying to hit your sore spot, Cheng Ke," Jiang Yuduo sighed. "I’m afraid there aren’t many people who can’t do it. It’s just a matter of speed."

"…Oh," Cheng Ke clicked his tongue, then after thinking about it he stood up. "How about you help me put it on? Let me see if I can learn."

"Fine." Jiang Yuduo nodded. He rarely did this for anyone. Even with Chen Qing, he would not help to this extent. But for some reason, every time he saw Cheng Ke like this, he felt a little sorry for him. "Actually, I’m only at the level of barely managing to get it on, but teaching you should definitely be enough."

"No need to lay the groundwork first," Cheng Ke said. "Even if you can’t get it on, I won’t laugh at you."

Jiang Yuduo went into the bedroom and walked to the bed. Cheng Ke followed him in, leaning against the wardrobe and watching him.

Actually, Jiang Yuduo hated putting on duvet covers, and he really was not very good at it. But he could still manage it. It was just the first time anyone had watched him do it, which made him feel a little awkward.

Standing in front of the bed, he did not even know whether he should explain as he went.

"This quilt of yours," Jiang Yuduo folded it up roughly, picked it up, and handed it to Cheng Ke, "put it aside first. I’ll tell you an easy way."

"Mm." Cheng Ke took the quilt and put it on the table.

"First…" Only after the quilt was taken away did Jiang Yuduo see the duvet cover in its entirety, basically twisted into a lump. "You laid the quilt out so neatly, were you actually trying to hide the fact that this duvet cover is such a mess?"

"Yes." Cheng Ke answered honestly. "It couldn’t be shaken smooth anymore."

"How could that be." Jiang Yuduo sighed and grabbed the duvet cover to shake it out.

The duvet cover twisted into a strip.

He shook it again.

Then shook it again more forcefully.

The duvet cover still remained a lump.

Jiang Yuduo had no choice but to fumble around on the duvet cover for a long time, then turned his head. "How exactly do you sleep? Where are the four corners of the duvet cover?"

"How would I know," Cheng Ke sighed. "Probably rolled inside."

Jiang Yuduo started feeling a little frustrated, but he still bent down patiently to look for the corners.

After searching for a long time, he finally found one of them. He quickly grabbed that corner and shook it again, but there was no gain.

So he decided to give up, pulled the duvet cover back and forth a few times, and found the opening.

The moment he saw the opening, he was filled with contempt for Cheng Ke. "At least zip it shut! Half inside, half outside! Are you a pig?"

He gripped the opening of the duvet cover with both hands and shook it hard. "Can’t it be shaken flat…"

He heard a ripping sound, and immediately stopped moving.

The room went quiet at once.

Only after a while did he sneak a glance at the duvet cover. Along the seam near the opening, he had torn a slit, all the way up to the top.

"Did you," Cheng Ke cleared his throat, "tear my duvet cover?"

Jiang Yuduo turned his head. "Yes. I’ll pay you back."

Cheng Ke did not say anything. Leaning against the wardrobe, he started laughing, laughing wildly at him without any brakes on at all.

"Do you have a needle and thread?" Jiang Yuduo felt extremely humiliated.

"What," Cheng Ke probably said in too much shock to keep laughing, "you can sew too?"

"I’ve sewn clothes before, just not a duvet cover," Jiang Yuduo said with a frown. "It should be about the same."

"Nope," Cheng Ke started laughing again, and while laughing he opened the wardrobe and took out another duvet cover. "Come on, tear this one too."

"Get lost." Jiang Yuduo took the duvet cover.

He discovered that Cheng Ke’s duvet covers, probably ever since the day they were used for the first time, had never been smoothed out. So even after washing and folding them neatly, then taking them back out of the wardrobe, they were still just a wrinkled lump.

"You probably don’t even know how to fold clothes, either?" Jiang Yuduo put the spare duvet cover on the bed and began slowly looking for the four corners.

"I do, but the clothes are all hung up," Cheng Ke said. "I’ve never folded them."

Jiang Yuduo did not really believe that answer, but he did not say anything more. After all, he needed to stay focused so he would not tear this duvet cover again.

Come to think of it, this duvet cover was not very good quality either. The young master probably had no eye for choosing things.

At last the duvet cover was shaken smooth. When Jiang Yuduo spread it perfectly flat on the bed, he let out a breath.

"Look, first turn the duvet cover inside out and spread it flat," he said, waving Cheng Ke over. "Then align the quilt and spread it flat on top of it."

"Isn’t that exactly what I did?" Cheng Ke carried the quilt over and shook it out with him onto the bed.

"Bullshit, that’s only the first step," Jiang Yuduo said. The wind from the quilt puffed against his face, and he caught a faint scent. "You even spray perfume on it?"

"Only on the quilt. It smells nice when I sleep," Cheng Ke said.

"To cover up the smell?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"You’ve done this before?" Cheng Ke frowned.

"No," Jiang Yuduo said. "I usually take my quilts out to dry in the sun when I have time. They smell nice and fresh. I guess you don’t air your quilts…"

"Then you fucking! Smell it!" Cheng Ke grabbed the quilt, pressed Jiang Yuduo’s head down, and smothered him with it. "Does it smell or not!"

Jiang Yuduo did not speak. After Cheng Ke pressed him onto the quilt, his body froze for two seconds.

"Just as fragr…" Cheng Ke let go, but before he could finish his sentence, Jiang Yuduo suddenly jerked upright and reached back with one arm.

He seized Cheng Ke’s hand before Cheng Ke could pull it back, then twisted and flipped it. Before Cheng Ke could react, he felt a burst of soreness in his shoulder.

When he came to his senses, he had already been thrown to the floor by Jiang Yuduo.

"What are you doing!" he shouted.

Jiang Yuduo did not speak. Panting, he lowered his head and looked at him.

Cheng Ke saw that his eyes were a little red, and immediately felt a bit creeped out. He quickly shouted again, "Lao San!"

Jiang Yuduo paused. Looking as if he had only just realized Cheng Ke had fallen, he rushed over, grabbed Cheng Ke’s arm, and very slowly pulled him up from the floor.

"Don’t move yet," Jiang Yuduo said, still not letting go of his arm. "Are you uncomfortable anywhere?"

"No," Cheng Ke looked at him. "I landed on my butt first."

"…Oh." Jiang Yuduo let go, and after a long while said, "I… got startled. Reflex."

"Mm." Cheng Ke rubbed his elbow. When he had just pushed himself up from the floor, it had hurt a bit from the impact.

"Sorry," Jiang Yuduo said.

"It’s fine." Cheng Ke did not know why he had such an intense reflex, but many people had a point that could not be prodded. His movement earlier had also been a little too much.

"No smell." Jiang Yuduo said.

"What?" Cheng Ke blinked.

"The quilt smells nice, there’s no bad smell." Jiang Yuduo said.

"Obviously," Cheng Ke looked at him. "I just dried it in the sun the day before yesterday, on the balcony."

"On the floor?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Yeah." Cheng Ke answered.

"You should take two chairs and lay the quilt across them. That way the sun can get through it, and it stays clean too," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Yeah." Cheng Ke responded again.

After those strange exchanges were finished, Jiang Yuduo cleared his throat, went back to the bed, and spread the wrinkled quilt out flat again. "Now look, start from the end opposite the opening, and roll the quilt up together with the duvet cover."

"Oh." Cheng Ke hurried over and rolled the quilt up with him. "What’s the point of rolling it like this?"

Jiang Yuduo did not speak. After he rolled it all the way up, he finally opened his mouth. "Now take these two rolled ends and pull them out from the opening here."

Cheng Ke imitated him, reached his hand in through the opening, grabbed the rolled-up end of the quilt, and pulled it out from inside. The moment he saw the duvet cover suddenly turning right-side out, he immediately understood. "Fuck, then you just keep turning the quilt out like this and it’s on, right!"

"That’s right," Jiang Yuduo nodded. "Pretty smart."

The quilt turned itself out all the way and was finally spread neatly on the bed. Cheng Ke lifted a corner and shook it, a sense of accomplishment rising naturally within him. "I never knew a quilt could be put on like this."

"I learned from a video," Jiang Yuduo said. "Just learned it last month."

Cheng Ke smiled.

"That thing of yours… the torn one…" Jiang Yuduo hesitated. "I’ll take it back and help you sew it."

"No need," Cheng Ke said. "This duvet cover has been used several times already, it’s about time to throw it away anyway."

Jiang Yuduo looked at him, but did not say anything.

Cheng Ke also did not speak. He opened the sliding door, went out onto the balcony, and pushed the window open a crack before lighting a cigarette. He did not know how long a duvet cover had to be used before it was normal to throw it away. It could not be only thrown away once it was worn out… even if it was thrown away only after being worn out, then this duvet cover was already worn out.

Jiang Yuduo came out after him and stood beside him.

Cheng Ke handed him the cigarette pack. He took one out, lit it, put it between his lips, and looked out the window.

"You… when you were little," Cheng Ke looked at the scar on his face, "did you live alone?"

"No," Jiang Yuduo said. "There were several of us."

"Oh, I thought you had been living alone since you were young, so you knew how to do everything." Cheng Ke nodded.

"I probably only started living alone after I was ten," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Ten still counts as childhood," Cheng Ke said.

"Does it?" Jiang Yuduo glanced at him. "I don’t have childhood."

Cheng Ke fell silent.

"What about you when you were little?" Jiang Yuduo asked. "Were you always bullied by your younger brother?"

"Not really," Cheng Ke smiled. "I played by myself. My dad built a little wooden hut in the courtyard, it was really tiny. Cheng Yi didn’t like it. I usually read books in there."

"Pretty nice," Jiang Yuduo said. "Feels very safe."

"Not safe," Cheng Ke’s smile faded. "Later Cheng Yi raised a dog, and my dad gave that hut to the dog, said he’d make another one for me. He never did."

"A rich family’s young master," Jiang Yuduo sighed, "still gets bullied too."

"Back then my dad was already pretty disappointed in me…" Cheng Ke stretched. "Actually, if Cheng Yi wanted a doghouse, my dad would definitely make it for him right away. But he just had to fight me for it, it pissed me off to death."

"You shouldn’t have backed down," Jiang Yuduo said. "If you give in once, there’ll be a second time, a third time, and then no one will be able to see you anymore."

Cheng Ke looked at him and said nothing.

"Not even once. Even if your head gets broken open and blood is running, you still can’t yield," Jiang Yuduo’s expression turned a little blank. "But…"

"What?" Cheng Ke asked softly.

"Who do you want to see you?" Jiang Yuduo said. "I don’t know who I want to see me."

Cheng Ke stubbed out his cigarette. After a while, he said, "When you were little, did you live in an orphanage?"

"No," Jiang Yuduo shook his head. "I lived at home."

"With your dad and mom?" Cheng Ke asked carefully.

"Mm. I called them Dad and Mom," Jiang Yuduo answered unexpectedly. "And a few other little dogs."

Cheng Ke felt something was off. "Little dogs?"

"Little dogs just like me," Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke froze. After a while, when he was about to ask again, Jiang Yuduo raised his index finger. "Don’t ask. If you know too much, they’ll find you."

Before Cheng Ke could say anything else, Jiang Yuduo stubbed out his cigarette on the windowsill and turned back into the room.

Cheng Ke looked at the black mark pressed into the windowsill and, for a moment, did not know whether he should keep thinking about Jiang Yuduo’s words, or warn him first not to stub out cigarettes so roughly on the windowsill when there was clearly an ashtray right next to it.

"I didn’t see that ashtray," Jiang Yuduo’s voice came from behind him.

"Ah!" Cheng Ke jumped in surprise and turned around.

Jiang Yuduo poked his head out from the sliding door. "I only saw there was an ashtray after I had already pressed it out."

"…It’s fine," Cheng Ke said. "I can wipe it off."

"You can’t wipe it off. That’s just a white ash wall, no putty and no tiles," Jiang Yuduo said. "Actually, I used to always put them out outside the window…"

Cheng Ke opened the window and looked at the outer windowsill, where he saw a row of little black lumps, lined up quite neatly.

"You pressed them all out there?" He turned back.

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo smiled.

"Are you trying to make me angry now?" Cheng Ke asked.

"No, I’m just telling you," Jiang Yuduo said.

"…Alright, I know." Cheng Ke nodded.

Jiang Yuduo closed the door and went to the living room.

Cheng Ke stood on the balcony a little helplessly between laughter and tears for a while. In the end, he still could not resist reaching out and rubbing the black lump.

It really did not come off.

He sighed and opened the door to go inside.

Jiang Yuduo was sitting on the sofa looking at his phone.

He went to wash his hands, then returned to the living room and turned on the TV.

"You still watch TV?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"If there’s no sound in the house, I don’t feel at ease." He sat down on the sofa and leaned against the other end.

"It’s having sound that makes it uneasy. Then you can’t hear anything," Jiang Yuduo said, still looking down at his phone.

"Are you still reading that thigh novel?" Cheng Ke asked.

"Dropped it," Jiang Yuduo said. "I’m reading another one now, but I don’t really understand it."

"Can’t recognize the characters?" Cheng Ke was a little surprised, then suddenly thought that according to the childhood Jiang Yuduo had described, he might not have gone to school.

"No, it says that one day, the three-dimensional world suddenly disappeared and became a void," Jiang Yuduo said. "Only the little bit of the two-dimensional world was left."

"Oh." Cheng Ke nodded. "Then what about someone like me who doesn’t really go online?"

"You’d become void, then." Jiang Yuduo said.

Cheng Ke laughed. "Damn, that sounds terrifying."

"Being void is pretty good. Everything’s gone, and everything’s still there," Jiang Yuduo said. "It’s just a little hard to understand. I still prefer reading xianxia[[1]]."

"Do you watch movies?" Cheng Ke asked.

Jiang Yuduo put down his phone and thought about it. "Yeah, I guess."

Cheng Ke hesitated when he picked up the projector remote. "I should tell you first, installing the projector only needed a few nails. If we ever take it down later, the holes can be filled in."

Jiang Yuduo looked at him, and after a long while said, "You installed a projector too?"

"Mm." Cheng Ke nodded.

"Aren’t you the one who was thrown out of the house?" Jiang Yuduo was very confused. "Where did you get the money to spend like that?"

"Could you be a little more civilized?" Cheng Ke said.

"Where did you get the money to spend so damn wastefully?" Jiang Yuduo said.

"Is your definition of uncivilized a little confused?" Cheng Ke was speechless.

"Where did you get the money…" Jiang Yuduo continued.

"I have savings." Cheng Ke cut him off.

"You actually have savings? I thought your money was being subsidized by Xu Ding," Jiang Yuduo said. "By the usual script, shouldn’t your card have been frozen?"

"Third Brother, this is a society ruled by law. Are the cards under my name something anyone can just freeze if they want to?" Cheng Ke looked at him. "You don’t like reading xianxia, do you? You like reading domineering CEO stories, don’t you?"

Jiang Yuduo laughed for a long time, then waved a hand. "Watch the movie."

"I have a classic saved here," Cheng Ke said, opening his phone and tapping at it. "I downloaded it again specifically after switching phones. I watch it whenever I have nothing to do. You’re young, you probably haven’t seen it."

"Then let’s watch the classic," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Okay, wait." Cheng Ke turned on the projector, connected his phone, and opened the video folder.

As he scrolled downward, Jiang Yuduo, who had been staring at the projection, said from beside him, "I thought you’d have some porn saved too. Didn’t you say you watched it?"

Cheng Ke turned his head. "What, you want to watch it?"

"No!" Jiang Yuduo looked horrified. "I was just saying it casually!"

Cheng Ke clicked his tongue and opened the video.

To make it feel like watching a movie, he even set up the speakers, though he had never had a chance to use them. Right now the sound was still decent, but the source quality was terrible, after all it was an old film.

He stood up and turned off the lights in the living room.

"Why is this music…" Jiang Yuduo’s voice carried a thread of tension. "So… scary…"

Before he could finish speaking, the title appeared.

"Fuck, *The Sadness Flashes* of the Mountain Village Corpse!" Jiang Yuduo shouted.

"You know it?" Cheng Ke sat back down on the sofa. "This counts as a classic, right? Every time I watch it…"

"Yes, it’s especially scary, fuck," Jiang Yuduo said as he inched closer from the far end of the sofa to Cheng Ke’s side, squeezing himself in next to him and only stopping once he was pressed right against him. "Fuck, fuck…"

"…You’re kidding," Cheng Ke laughed. "That scared?"

"Why can’t I be scared?" Jiang Yuduo sounded a little annoyed.

"You can." Cheng Ke nodded with a smile, then lowered his voice. "Actually, I’m terrified too. Every time I watch it, I’m scared half to death."

"Then why do you still watch it?" Jiang Yuduo glared at him.

Cheng Ke whispered, "Because you’re here. When two people watch it, it’s not so…"

"Fuck! Fuck! It’s starting!" Jiang Yuduo turned and glared at the projection.

Cheng Ke also hurriedly stared at it.

The two of them stared with nervous tension for a long time, and then Jiang Yuduo suddenly laughed. "Damn it, this is really fucking embarrassing."

"If you get scared later, don’t suddenly grab me," Cheng Ke said. "I’ll swear at you."

Jiang Yuduo nodded. "Same for you."