TA •Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Cheng Ke had only gotten one sleeve of his coat on before he left the house, feeling like a cripple, and the moment he stepped outside, he was freezing.

"Just bear with it," Jiang Yuduo said. "It’ll be fine once you’re in the car. You’ll still have to take it off when we get to the hospital."

"Fuck, this hurts so bad," Cheng Ke said through clenched teeth. Once he focused on his wrist again, the pain came rushing back. He had never been hurt this badly in his entire life.

Actually, if it were just a broken bone, that wouldn’t have been such a big deal. The key was how it had happened.

He could not think about how it had happened right now. The scene of him grabbing Jiang Yuduo and sliding down, dragging the man with him until Jiang Yuduo fell to the ground with Cheng Ke on top of him as a cushion, was simply too awful to look back on.

Even though Jiang Yuduo looked perfectly calm now, showing neither disgust nor anger, Cheng Ke still felt like every cell in his body was radiating embarrassment, inside and out.

Chen Qing got into the car. Cheng Ke was about to climb into the back seat when Jiang Yuduo, behind him, said, "We’re in the back."

Cheng Ke very much wanted to say, then you go sit in the passenger seat, but only after he opened the car door did he realize just how important one usable hand was in daily life.

Even something as simple as getting in the car. After his right hand could no longer move, he felt as if his cerebellum had been damaged. He instinctively reached out with his right hand to brace himself on the seat, then suddenly came back to himself halfway through.

No, he couldn’t use it!

Before his face could smack down onto the back seat, Jiang Yuduo reached out from behind, grabbed the collar of his coat, and yanked.

He didn’t actually fall flat, but that sudden, fierce jerk made Cheng Ke feel like he was about to lose his breath. "…You’re way too strong."

Jiang Yuduo said nothing. He closed the car door and walked around to the other side.

"That sucks, huh," Chen Qing said, turning back with a grin. "I broke my wrist once too. Fuck, I couldn’t even wipe my own ass when I took a shit…"

Cheng Ke was left speechless. "Were you missing a hand or something?"

"Huh?" Chen Qing looked at him, probably not understanding.

"If one hand is broken, the other one still works," Cheng Ke explained through gritted teeth. By the time Jiang Yuduo got in, he had not even had a chance to scoot over.

"Both my hands were broken," Chen Qing said, making a push-up motion with both hands. "I fell off a wall like this."

"Then how did you…" Cheng Ke suddenly had a horrifying thought. "Wait, was it Jiang Yu…"

"Shut the fuck up," Jiang Yuduo said from beside him.

"My mom bought one of those smart toilet seats. You know, the kind that sprays water on your ass," Chen Qing said. "You rinse first, then it dries your ass off… You probably have one, right? Then you could…"

"I," Cheng Ke cut him off, "only broke one hand. It basically won’t affect daily life."

"Really?" Chen Qing started the car and pulled out. Then he turned his head and added, "You just about bit into the seat getting in with your right hand a minute ago. That was genuine leather. If you gnaw it up, you’ll have to pay for it."

"Shut up and drive," Jiang Yuduo said.

Chen Qing was very obedient. The moment Jiang Yuduo told him to shut up, he immediately focused on the road and said no more.

"Did you bring money?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"Hm?" Cheng Ke was startled, then nodded. "I brought my card."

"It’s swollen pretty badly." Jiang Yuduo glanced at his wrist.

"…It hurts a lot," Cheng Ke said, looking down at it too. The pain immediately flared back up. Just now, when he had been talking to Chen Qing, it had not seemed so bad.

"It’s fine," Jiang Yuduo said softly. "Should be about a month."

The moment Cheng Ke thought about how his right hand would not be usable for the next month, his whole spirit deflated. Then he thought of the reason this had happened in the first place, and he deflated even more. He sank all the way down and did not even feel like talking.

Jiang Yuduo did not come to the hospital often. Once in a while, if Chen Qing got hurt, he would come along too, since it was Chen Qing and not someone else. But he would also bring a couple of younger brothers to go in with him. He himself never went inside.

By the time the car pulled up to the entrance of the hospital parking lot, Chen Qing had stopped the car. "We’ll go in. Third Brother can park."

"Yeah," Jiang Yuduo said, getting out and walking to the driver’s side to tell Chen Qing, "Handle the registration, tests, all of that…"

He glanced at Cheng Ke, who was struggling to get out of the car while holding his wrist. "I suspect he might not know how to see a doctor."

"He definitely won’t. Maybe he’d have the doctor come to the house," Chen Qing said quietly. "Don’t worry, I’ll help him. You sleep in the car for a bit."

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo got back in, looked at Cheng Ke, and drove into the parking lot.

After circling around twice in the lot, Jiang Yuduo saw a man near a corner not far from the entrance preparing to pull out. He stopped and waited for the spot.

But after getting into the car and even buckling his seat belt, the man still did not leave. He kept fidgeting, touching this and scratching that, and in the end he even lit a cigarette.

Jiang Yuduo gave the horn a light press. The man did not react at all, smoking with complete composure, then lowering the window to blow out a puff.

Usually Jiang Yuduo told his little brothers not to stir up trouble casually, especially when there was no way to settle it, but his way of handling things honestly was not that much better.

As he got out of the car, he wondered if some day he should ask the very well-mannered Young Master Cheng Ke how people like him usually handled something like this.

"Bro," Jiang Yuduo said, walking up beside the window and looking at the person inside, "you waiting for someone, or are you leaving?"

"Leaving." The man glanced at him.

"Fine." Jiang Yuduo nodded and stepped back to stand under the nearby tree.

After the man slowly finished his cigarette, he still sat there.

Jiang Yuduo waited a little longer, and once he was sure the man was doing it on purpose, he walked back over.

The man turned his head. The impatient, provocative look on his face had not even fully formed before Jiang Yuduo had already yanked open the car door and grabbed his collar, dragging the upper half of his body out of the car.

"I’m asking you one more time. If you’re leaving, I’ll wait. If you’re not leaving, then say so." Jiang Yuduo’s voice was low.

"Fuck if I’m leaving or not, what’s it to you!" The man struggled and reached toward the passenger seat.

Jiang Yuduo glanced over. A length of metal pipe was lying on the passenger seat.

"Go get it." Jiang Yuduo shoved him back into the car and let go.

The man was obedient enough. He unbuckled his seat belt and lunged for the pipe right away. By the time he turned around, Jiang Yuduo could already tell that the pipe was coming straight for his face.

He reached out and caught the end of it. He barely used any strength when he took it from the man’s hands. The man’s hand was still frozen in the motion of thrusting the pipe outward when Jiang Yuduo drove it down and jammed it against his crotch.

Jiang Yuduo had seen too many people like this. People who bluffed long enough could even fool themselves. He looked at the man. "Leaving or not?"

"I’m leaving, then I’m leaving! Did I say I wasn’t?!" The man did not dare move, staring at him. "What the fuck are you doing? Robbery?"

Jiang Yuduo tossed the pipe out of the car, took a step back, and shut the door.

The car started up quickly, then pulled out of the spot and turned out of the parking lot.

Jiang Yuduo parked the car in this spot, then lit a cigarette and looked at the parking lot, at the rows of cars lined up with absolutely no order at all.

No matter when it was, the hospital parking lot was always full.

Every day countless people walked into the hospital, washing out even the smell of disinfectant, every face stamped with unhappiness.

Jiang Yuduo frowned.

Yeah, how could a hospital be pleasant?

But why was he afraid of hospitals?

In those memories he could remember but did not want to remember, the hospital was the one thing he truly did not remember.

He let out a soft sigh and stared blankly at the inpatient building across from him.

Chen Qing called him and said Cheng Ke’s fracture was not too serious.

But even if it was not too serious, it still took a long time. By the time he saw Chen Qing and Cheng Ke walking in from the parking lot entrance, Jiang Yuduo had already dozed off three times. By now, it was already dark.

He sat up straight and flashed the headlights.

Chen Qing pointed this way, and Cheng Ke, cradling his arm, now neatly bandaged, walked over with him.

"How is it?" Jiang Yuduo got out of the car.

"Scaphoid fracture. They said to keep it fixed for six weeks," Chen Qing said. "Then they prescribed some medicine, and later we’ll take another X-ray to see how it’s healing. If there’s no problem, they’ll remove it, but after that there’ll still be rehab exercises and stuff…"

"Scaphoid?" Jiang Yuduo asked. "Where’s the scaphoid?"

"The navicular bone," Cheng Ke said with a sigh. "It’s not a big problem. Let’s go, I’m exhausted."

"A ship and a boat are basically the same thing," Chen Qing said as he got into the car. "And you still dare complain about being tired? I’ve been running back and forth helping you register, pay, and get your meds, and I didn’t say I was tired."

"Thanks," Cheng Ke said.

"Hey, don’t thank me. You’ve said thank you eighty-something times in the last few hours already," Chen Qing said.

Cheng Ke got into the car, holding his arm.

After Jiang Yuduo got in, he looked with great interest at the cast on Cheng Ke’s hand, then pointed at it. "So the fracture was around here?"

"Mm." Cheng Ke nodded.

"Then why’s your thumb wrapped in it too?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"They said they had to immobilize the scaphoid. I guess it’s all connected together," Cheng Ke said.

"Oh." Jiang Yuduo reached out and tapped the cast. "This is pretty much the same as Chen Qing’s last time. Last time it was some kind of distal fracture, and both hands had to stay up like that. Yours is pretty good in comparison."

"Yeah," Cheng Ke said with a smile.

"At this hour," Chen Qing said, glancing at the time while driving, "how about we eat first, and then I’ll take you two home?"

"No need," Cheng Ke said. "We can just grab something casually when we get back."

Chen Qing glanced at the rearview mirror. "Oh, right, I forgot your hand’s like this. Then let’s go straight to Third Brother’s place. He can feed you, and after you’re done, you can go back to your own place."

"Drive your car and stop indulging your nanny complex. You’re even arranging who’s supposed to feed him," Jiang Yuduo said.

Thinking about food, Cheng Ke really did start worrying. A spoon in his left hand, or maybe a fork… Looks like takeout would be unavoidable for a while.

Actually, not just eating. If he thought about it carefully, it seemed like everything would be troublesome, getting dressed, picking things up, taking a shower… Forget it, he didn’t want to think about it. He would deal with it when the time came.

After they got back to Jiang Yuduo’s place, Chen Qing left without getting out of the car.

The instant Cheng Ke saw the car drive away, he actually felt a little reluctant to see Chen Qing go. After all, with Chen Qing there, things between him and Jiang Yuduo were not so awkward.

Or rather, he was not so awkward.

Jiang Yuduo still looked pretty normal. After opening the door and going in, he fed the cat first, then picked up his phone and looked at Cheng Ke. "Order takeout. It’s too late to cook now."

"Oh," Cheng Ke hesitated. "Actually, I…"

"Let’s eat first and figure out what to do after that," Jiang Yuduo said, looking at his hand. "You really hurt it in the worst possible place."

Cheng Ke sighed and took off the coat with only one sleeve on, shaking it off as he sat down on the sofa and watched the cat eat its food in big mouthfuls.

After Jiang Yuduo finished ordering takeout, he went into the kitchen.

From the sounds of it, he was continuing to wash the dishes he had not finished earlier at noon.

Cheng Ke wanted to remind him that if the dried dish soap on the floor got a little water on it, it might still be slippery, but he did not have the nerve to say it.

He hesitated for a long time. Just as he grit his teeth and thought he should say something, he heard Jiang Yuduo start mopping the floor, and immediately relaxed.

When Jiang Yuduo came out of the kitchen, he set something on the table. "You can use this to eat later?"

"Ah." Cheng Ke saw a fork.

"Are you still going back to that hotel tonight?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"…Yeah," Cheng Ke said.

"Stay here for one night and go back tomorrow to pack your things," Jiang Yuduo said. "I’ll go with you. You won’t be able to pack with that hand anyway."

Cheng Ke did not say anything. Jiang Yuduo had already taken it for granted that he would move back tomorrow.

He did want to move back, but he was also hesitating. None of the questions had a definite answer yet. Still, when Jiang Yuduo said it like that, he could not bear to say anything else.

He could not stand Jiang Yuduo’s concern either.

If he had not known Jiang Yuduo, if he had not known Jiang Yuduo’s attitude toward homosexuality, and if this were someone else, he would never have believed by now that this person was straight.

"It won’t work even if it doesn’t," Cheng Ke said through gritted teeth. "What’s so great about packing a bed?"

Jiang Yuduo looked at him but did not speak.

"Fine, I’ll just say it plainly," Cheng Ke said again, gritting his teeth. He could be vague about other things, but not this one.

"Say what?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

"You said I could have ideas about you, but I had to keep it to myself and not let you see it, right?" Cheng Ke said.

After a moment, Jiang Yuduo nodded. "Yeah, but…"

"You’re being so… so… just, you know, so considerate, yeah, considerate," Cheng Ke bit his lip. "How the fuck am I supposed to keep it in? I do want to keep it in, but you have to cooperate too."

Jiang Yuduo looked at him, and it took a long time before he finally said, "Fuck."

"What I said makes plenty of sense, doesn’t it? Even if you say fuck, you still have to admit that’s how it is," Cheng Ke said.

"I’d be the same with Chen Qing," Jiang Yuduo said, frowning. "When both of Chen Qing’s hands were broken, I even helped him shower. He didn’t act like you, all…"

"Third Brother," Cheng Ke walked up to him and pointed at himself, "am I Chen Qing? If you helped Chen Qing shower, would Chen Qing get hard?"

Jiang Yuduo’s eyes widened in shock at once.

"You… were even thinking of helping me shower?" Cheng Ke was shocked too.

"Yeah," Jiang Yuduo said.

"Absolutely not!" Cheng Ke raised his voice sharply. "I do not want to break any other bone."

Jiang Yuduo stared at him in silence.

"I’m not Chen Qing. The care you give Chen Qing can’t be used on me, because," Cheng Ke drew in a breath, "Chen Qing wouldn’t keep wanting to hug you, keep wanting to rub against you, and keep wanting to kiss you."

Jiang Yuduo stayed silent, still wearing that shocked expression.

"I’ll call a car over. I can take a taxi back," Cheng Ke sighed. "Today’s already been embarrassing enough. Just let me calm down for a bit."

Jiang Yuduo continued to look stunned for a long time before finally returning to normal. Frowning, he walked to the side, poured himself a glass of water and drank it, then poured another one. "You want some water?"

"Yeah." Cheng Ke took the cup and downed the whole glass.

"Back then, when I said that stuff, it wasn’t because I had any issue with you," Jiang Yuduo said. "Mostly, I’d just never seen… a homosexual before. I wasn’t really used to it."

So are you used to it now?

Cheng Ke set down the cup without saying anything.

"Honestly, when you kissed me, I didn’t even feel disgusted," Jiang Yuduo said. "I didn’t really feel anything."

Didn’t feel anything?

Fuck your whole family!

That was even worse than feeling disgusted.

"You don’t need to be too sensitive about this," Jiang Yuduo said. "I was just thinking, maybe you’d been holding it in for too long. I’m not incapable of understanding…"

"What did you say?" Cheng Ke looked at him.

"That you’d been holding it in for too long," Jiang Yuduo repeated.

He even added one more word.

"Fuck?" Cheng Ke almost laughed. "No, why are you so sure I’ve been holding it in for too long? Too long?"

"I don’t know. Anyway, this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone break a bone just because they kissed somebody," Jiang Yuduo said. "You were so rushed about it, if you say you weren’t holding back, nobody would believe you."

Cheng Ke opened his mouth but could not say anything. He did not even know how the topic had suddenly veered into whether or not he had been bottling things up for too long.

It was just too surreal. He could not even react.

By the time he came back to himself, he was already so embarrassed he was on the verge of getting angry from shame. This kind of twisted, tangled feeling, he had never experienced so thoroughly in his life, not once, and not again and again like this.

He walked up to Jiang Yuduo until their noses were nearly touching. "Your train of thought is really something else."

"Ah." Jiang Yuduo answered.

"Then right now, I’m especially not in a hurry, especially not rushed, slow-motion style, let’s do it again. How about that?" Cheng Ke said.

"Do what again?" Jiang Yuduo asked.

Very slowly, Cheng Ke leaned in. After the tip of his nose touched Jiang Yuduo’s and he could feel the man’s breath rushing over him, he slowly tilted his head and pressed his lips to Jiang Yuduo’s.

After holding it for three seconds, he slowly pulled away again.

After his gaze met Jiang Yuduo’s, he felt a sense of triumph, almost a rush of vindication.

But before he could even enjoy that for two seconds, Jiang Yuduo suddenly leaned forward too. After pausing for a moment, he kissed Cheng Ke on the tip of the nose.

"What are you doing?" Cheng Ke felt completely stunned.

"I don’t know." Jiang Yuduo’s answer was completely sincere.

"Oh," Cheng Ke looked at him. After a while, he turned around and picked up his coat. "I… I’m going back first."

"Mm." Jiang Yuduo nodded.

Cheng Ke called a car over. After watching him get in, Jiang Yuduo turned and went back inside, sitting down on the sofa.

The cat came over at once and jumped onto his lap.

He scratched the cat’s head.

Then, thinking about it, he frowned and raised a hand to touch his mouth.

The feeling was hard to describe. The previous few times Cheng Ke had kissed him, aside from shock, he had not felt anything special. He could not say it made him angry, and he also did not feel especially disgusted. That kiss at noon, he had barely felt it at all, after all, Cheng Ke had only touched him and then ended up breaking a bone…

But a few minutes ago, Cheng Ke’s slow-motion kiss, he had felt it clearly.

It was a feeling he had never experienced before. It was not like any of the feelings mentioned in novels, nothing about floating, nothing about dizziness, nothing about confusion, nothing about a little donkey, no, a little deer bumping around wildly. None of that.

He only felt that it was very familiar.

Like when he was very young and someone gave him a ball of yarn, and every night he would press that ball of yarn against the side of his face and sleep, that kind of feeling, very familiar.