SA | Chapter 19

Temporary Farewell

Gu Deng opened his mouth, wanting to argue, but the words got stuck in his throat, unable to come out. His tired body and dazed mind were all telling him he had reached his limit. Zhang Li was right; he really wasn’t fit to continue. Before this, he had thought about giving up several times. But when it came to the crucial moment, Gu Deng found it hard to make that decision.

Persevering was painful, but giving up wasn’t easy either. This journey had its pains and gains. Although the painful moments were really tough, when he saw the pink sunrise and rescued a shivering little deer, he felt it was all worth it.

Gu Deng looked up at Zhang Li, wanting to ask if he was being a burden, which was why Zhang Li wanted him to leave. But then he remembered how Zhang Li had taken care of him all along the way. Asking such a question now would be heartless, as if he was pushing the reason for giving up onto Zhang Li.

Moreover, his body really couldn’t hold on any longer. On a long hike, the scenery could indeed temporarily heal everything, like adrenaline pushing him forward. But most of the time, Gu Deng felt fatigue and pain.

It was time to give up, especially since he hadn’t planned to complete the entire journey from the start. Gu Deng nodded, accepting the suggestion, and asked Zhang Li, “If I leave, what about you?”

This question was a bit inappropriate, as whether he stayed or left didn’t really matter much to Zhang Li. But after hearing it, Zhang Li fell silent, and after a long while, he said, “I’ll go on my own.”

This path was meant for him alone anyway.

Gu Deng let out an “oh,” feeling a bit lost. “I actually quite enjoyed the experiences along the way, but unfortunately, I don’t have the stamina to continue.”

“Gu Deng,” Zhang Li suddenly called his name.

“What’s up?” Gu Deng looked up, a bit of anticipation on his face.

“I…” Zhang Li started but then stopped, a complex emotion appearing in his determined eyes.

“What is it?” Gu Deng asked again.

Zhang Li closed his eyes, shutting off all emotions. When he opened them again, he had regained his usual calmness. “Sorry, it’s nothing. I just wanted to call you.”

Gu Deng let out an “oh,” sitting in the snow waiting for the rescue plane. Without internet, books, or activities to pass the time, the few hours stretched endlessly, feeling like they would never end.

Gu Deng asked Zhang Li if he had decided on the next destination. Zhang Li said no and added that he couldn’t think of anywhere to go. When he said this, a lonely expression appeared on Zhang Li’s face. But it vanished so quickly that Gu Deng almost missed it, and Zhang Li returned to his usual calm.

The sky remained gray, and the Brooks Mountain Range showed its faint silhouette in the distance, with reindeer crossing the snow in a line. Gu Deng watched the slowly moving reindeer and told Zhang Li, “I’ll come back.”

Zhang Li nodded, “Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

No one spoke again, and silence returned. Not long after, Gu Deng heard a rustling sound. Turning around, he saw the little deer, wearing a fleece jacket, had stood up!

It had made it through on its own!

Gu Deng happily played with the little deer for a while, but unfortunately, the mother deer never returned. Until the distant sound of helicopter rotors reached them, Gu Deng suddenly called out, “Zhang Li.”

Zhang Li looked up, and Gu Deng stared straight at him, eyes filled with many emotions.

Zhang Li’s heart softened, and he asked gently, “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Gu Deng’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and after a good ten seconds, he finally said, “Before I leave, can I hug you?”

His face showed vulnerability, sensitivity, reluctance, and a determination and courage to take a leap.

“Of course,” Zhang Li stood up and embraced Gu Deng.

It was almost a perfect hug, just as Gu Deng had imagined—warm, solid, and safe. The strong arms provided just the right amount of pressure, but not suffocating, like being held in his mother’s arms as a child. In this embrace, he could let go of all worries and defenses.

Gu Deng felt like crying again, maybe because of the camaraderie over the past few days, or perhaps for other reasons. But he held back, not wanting to cry and whine at the farewell.

However, Zhang Li reached out and patted his head, as if sensing his unease, offering comfort. Zhang Li knew nothing, yet chose to embrace his emotions. Gu Deng’s nose tingled, and his eyes eventually welled up.

He cried quietly, carefully controlling his body’s trembling, not making a sound. But he felt Zhang Li noticed, as he felt Zhang Li’s arms gradually tighten. Gu Deng closed his eyes, tears falling even more.

Throughout the process, they exchanged no words, but the physical contact brought a sense of reality different from language, making Gu Deng feel understood.

When the rescue helicopter hovered overhead, Zhang Li patted his back and slightly loosened the embrace.

Gu Deng was still reluctant, resting his forehead on Zhang Li’s shoulder for a while. He wiped his eyes, belatedly feeling embarrassed.

“See you in ten days,” Zhang Li said naturally, picking up his luggage for him.

“See you then,” Gu Deng nodded and added, “If you need anything, let me know, and we’ll bring it for you next time.”

“Sure,” Zhang Li said, “We’ll talk later on the phone.”

Only then did Gu Deng remember they could still contact each other via satellite phone, and his mood, dampened by the farewell, lifted a bit.

“I’m off then.” He waved goodbye to Zhang Li.

“Goodbye.” Zhang Li reached out and ruffled Gu Deng’s hair, having noticed that Gu Deng seemed to enjoy it.

Sure enough, Gu Deng immediately squinted, showing a very comfortable expression. But he quickly realized and stiffened, pulling away a bit embarrassed.

Zhang Li withdrew his hand, calmly explaining, “Your hair was sticking up.”

“Oh, oh! I see, thank you!” Gu Deng hastily ruffled his hair and turned his back to Zhang Li.

The helicopter landed on the open snowfield, and the crew loaded the reindeer onto the plane. Gu Deng got into the back seat, waving goodbye to Zhang Li through the glass.

The plane flew higher and higher, eventually becoming a small dot in the sky.

Zhang Li shouldered his backpack and continued north alone.