SA | Chapter 29

Friendship

Zhang Li’s smile made Gu Deng feel even more awkward, and for some inexplicable reason, his heart started racing a bit.

He took a deep breath, shifted his gaze, and continued, “I lost my temper a bit earlier, but I didn’t mean to argue or be petty. I’m serious about discussing this with you. Really, if you’re not comfortable talking about your stuff, it’s fine. We can just be friends, and it won’t affect our friendship.”

Zhang Li looked into Gu Deng’s eyes and nodded, “I understand.”

Gu Deng nodded back and sighed in relief. Thank goodness, that uncomfortable feeling finally went away after he spoke his mind. Anyway, he had already made his stance clear, and whether Zhang Li decided to talk or not was up to him.

Gu Deng didn’t rush Zhang Li for an immediate answer. He put on his sunglasses, strapped on his crampons, and planned to take a stroll nearby.

Zhang Li reminded him, “Take your hiking pole and phone, and don’t wander too far.”

Gu Deng gave an okay gesture and turned to walk towards the foot of the mountain.

He actually quite enjoyed walking alone. When he was by himself, he didn’t have to think about anything, nor worry about his image or whether his words and actions were appropriate. He could do whatever he wanted. Especially when faced with such beautiful scenery and no one around, it felt like he temporarily owned the whole world.

The Ruth Glacier shimmered in Tiffany blue under the sunlight, and Mount McKinley sparkled. Standing at the foot of the mountain, Gu Deng took in a breath of the crisp cold air, and all his emotions dissipated in the grandeur of the scenery.

After resting for a while, Gu Deng decided to continue upwards. When he was panting from the climb, Zhang Li called, saying he was coming to find him. Gu Deng, feeling tired, sat down to wait.

The sun made his head spin, and Gu Deng licked his dry lips, feeling a bit thirsty. But since Zhang Li was already halfway there, he felt it was awkward to ask him to turn back. Unexpectedly, when Zhang Li arrived, he pulled out a thermos from his pocket and asked if Gu Deng wanted some water.

Of course, Gu Deng didn’t refuse.

Zhang Li unscrewed the lid and poured some water, the thin steam rising and making Gu Deng’s heart race a bit. He looked up at Zhang Li, not blinking. It wasn’t until Zhang Li called his name that Gu Deng snapped back to reality, lowering his head to drink the water as if trying to hide something.

He returned the lid to Zhang Li and asked, “When did you boil the water?”

“In the morning,” Zhang Li replied.

At that time, they were still having a tiff, yet Zhang Li remembered to boil hot water for him.

Oh no, Gu Deng felt his heart start pounding again. No way, right? Even if he had a crush on Zhang Li, it shouldn’t be so intense just because of a cup of hot water, making his heart race and breath quicken as if he were hopelessly in love.

Gu Deng took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Luckily, after resting a while, his heartbeat slowed, and he stood up, planning to continue climbing.

But as soon as he stood up, his knees suddenly gave way, and he fell to his knees in front of Zhang Li.

Gu Deng: ?

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s happening…” He grabbed his hiking pole, trying to stand up, but even such a simple action became incredibly difficult. It wasn’t until Zhang Li grabbed his elbow that he finally managed to stand up again, half-leaning against Zhang Li, feeling dizzy.

Gu Deng was genuinely scared. Was it now to the point where just seeing Zhang Li made him dizzy?

But he wasn’t a love-struck fool.

He had liked others before, but he always held back for work, and eventually, those feelings faded. He carried a heavy idol burden in his life and never planned to come out, not even his manager knew he liked men.

Or was he actually a secretly intense romantic, just unaware of it before?

Gu Deng felt a bit defeated. He stood up straight from Zhang Li’s embrace, but his head was still spinning.

Zhang Li wanted to help him, but Gu Deng shook his head and said, “I feel a bit strange, let me rest for a bit.”

Zhang Li: “You’re experiencing altitude sickness.”

“Huh? Altitude sickness?” Gu Deng hadn’t even considered that possibility. He checked the altitude on his sports watch—3421 meters.

“…”

It turned out to be altitude sickness, and Gu Deng was both amused and annoyed with himself.

“Are you okay?” Zhang Li’s expression was a bit tense, Gu Deng’s unusual behavior worried him.

“I’m fine,” Gu Deng sighed in relief, waving his hand, “I just didn’t expect it to be altitude sickness. Scared me for a moment. I thought my heart was racing because I was falling for you.”

Zhang Li glanced at Gu Deng but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t until Gu Deng felt better and said he wanted to go down the mountain that Zhang Li silently followed.

The altitude at the base was just over 3000 meters, and Gu Deng felt a bit of altitude sickness here, but it wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t breathe. He climbed into the passenger seat and asked Zhang Li when they were heading back.

Zhang Li didn’t answer, only asked, “Do you still feel uncomfortable?”

Gu Deng considered for a moment and said, “It’s okay, as long as I don’t do any intense exercise.”

Zhang Li: “Can we stay a bit longer?”

“Sure,” Gu Deng put on a baseball cap and his sunglasses again, “I’ll take a nap first.”

Zhang Li nodded and turned off the plane’s engine, and a thick silence enveloped them. Gu Deng closed his eyes, leaning back in his seat, feeling like he was in a vacuum.

It was too quiet, and Gu Deng couldn’t sleep at all. He took off his sunglasses and sat up. It was then he noticed Zhang Li was secretly watching him, his gaze unabashed and startlingly direct.

Caught in the act, Zhang Li didn’t panic, just asked, “You’re not sleeping?”

Gu Deng shook his head, “It’s too quiet, I can’t sleep.”

Zhang Li: “It is very quiet.”

Gu Deng: “Is it always this quiet when you hike alone?”

“It depends,” Zhang Li said, “Forests are usually lively with animals, grasslands and deserts are quieter, and snowfields can be extremely silent if there’s no wind.”

Gu Deng was curious, “Don’t you ever feel bored being alone?”

Zhang Li: “Most of the time, no. If I haven’t spoken for a long time, I might talk to myself or sing occasionally.”

“Singing?” Gu Deng sat up straight, his eyes lighting up, “I’ve never heard you sing.”

Zhang Li: “What do you want to hear?”

“I’m not picky, just sing whatever,” Gu Deng said, “Just don’t sing my songs, that’d be too awkward.”

Zhang Li sang a very popular travel song, one that often played in cars driving along the 318, Duku Highway, and the Northwest Loop.

Zhang Li’s speaking voice was low and somewhat cold, but when he sang, it was unexpectedly gentle, with a warm and rich feeling. Perhaps feeling embarrassed under Gu Deng’s gaze, Zhang Li suddenly smiled, reached out, and pinched Gu Deng’s chin, turning his face away.

Gu Deng stubbornly turned back to look, only to accidentally brush his lips against Zhang Li’s palm.

The warm, soft touch made Zhang Li pause, stopping his song.

“I…” Gu Deng opened his mouth to say something, but with his lips still pressed against Zhang Li’s hand, it looked like he was licking Zhang Li’s palm.

A strange tingling and itch spread from Zhang Li’s palm through his body, causing a brief blankness in his mind. It wasn’t until Gu Deng turned his head that Zhang Li finally withdrew his hand, like a child who had caused trouble and didn’t dare move, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Zhang Li’s expression seemed calm, but he secretly curled his fingers in his pocket, rubbing his palm.

Seeing this, Gu Deng’s face flushed red. He felt he had to say something, or it would be too awkward. But what could he say? Anything would be mortifying.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” Zhang Li suddenly asked.

“What?” Gu Deng was incredulous, “Stay… stay?”

“No, no,” Zhang Li seemed to realize the ambiguity in his words and quickly corrected himself, “I meant do you want to camp here? You can see the stars at night.”

“Oh, that’s what you meant!” Gu Deng sighed in relief, “Then let’s stay the night.”

There was a mountain hut, so they didn’t need to set up a tent, just move their sleeping bags and cooking gear inside.

The mountain hut had a great view but was quite basic, with only single bunk beds. However, it was clean, and campers were considerate enough to take their trash with them.

Gu Deng placed his backpack on an empty bed and saw Zhang Li standing at the door, lost in thought. After a few seconds, Zhang Li entered and sat on a single bed, saying, “When I came here to climb with my brother, we stayed here.”

No wonder Zhang Li’s expression seemed off earlier. Gu Deng patted his shoulder but didn’t press further.

“I…” Zhang Li tried to speak, but the words stopped at his lips, as if some invisible force was holding him back.

“Are you okay?” Gu Deng was a bit worried, “If you want to be alone, I can go outside.”

Zhang Li didn’t answer immediately, just looked up at Gu Deng. The mountain hut window framed the snowy mountain, making Gu Deng seem like part of a painting. The sunlight illuminated his figure, reminding Zhang Li of their first meeting, when Gu Deng appeared in the snowstorm.

“No need,” Zhang Li shook his head, “Just give me a moment.” He emphasized his words, as if hinting at a decision.

But Gu Deng felt like his actions had forced Zhang Li to reopen an old wound, exposing a bloody past.

He felt uncomfortable for a moment, patting Zhang Li’s tense shoulder, “Don’t force yourself. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk. Some things are indeed hard to say. I’ve seen a therapist for four years and still can’t talk about many things.”

Zhang Li just shook his head, resting his forearms on his knees, fingers interlocked, deep in thought. This posture gave him an imposing presence, but his furrowed brow added a touch of vulnerability.

The mountain hut was small, and as Zhang Li leaned forward, he almost touched Gu Deng. Gu Deng leaned against the long table and said, “And even if you don’t say anything, it won’t affect our relationship.”

“Won’t it?” Zhang Li looked up at him.

“No,” Gu Deng shook his head, his gaze open and honest, “No matter what, we’re friends.”

“But Gu Deng,” Zhang Li grabbed his wrist, his eyes bright under his thick brows, “I don’t want to just stay friends with you.”