SA | Chapter 8

Running Away Works

Gu Deng hid in the passenger seat until he saw his manager leave, then he finally looked up. “Why are you here?”

“I saw online that you were hospitalized, so I came to check on you.”

“Then why didn’t you go up?”

“Zhou Bi wouldn’t let me.”

“You know him?” Gu Deng was a bit surprised.

“I’m a guest professor at their school, so we’ve crossed paths.”

Gu Deng’s expression turned cautious.

“I didn’t know you two were brothers,” Zhang Li said. “If I had any connection with him, I wouldn’t have been stopped here.”

Gu Deng was silent for a moment, seemingly convinced by his explanation.

Zhang Li started the engine and asked Gu Deng, “Do you want to leave or…?”

“Leave,” Gu Deng said. “Let’s just get out of here first.”

Gu Deng hadn’t really thought about where to go, so he told Zhang Li to just drive around. The pickup truck circled the small town once, but Gu Deng still hadn’t figured out what to do.

Driving around town felt a bit odd, so Zhang Li suggested finding a place to sit down first, and Gu Deng agreed. Soon, the pickup truck stopped by a small shop by the sea. When they pushed the door open, the place was filled with books.

An old lady was tending the shop, and she smiled, “What brings you here?”

Zhang Li replied, “Brought a friend to have a look.”

The lady asked, “Same old spot?”

Zhang Li nodded and led Gu Deng upstairs.

Downstairs was a cozy little bookstore, but unexpectedly, the second floor had a large floor-to-ceiling window framing the glaciers and the sea, like a natural painting. In front of the window were three small wooden tables, waiting for people to sit.

The building was cleverly designed, with top-notch views and taste. It was just too remote and hadn’t yet become popular on Instagram or Xiaohongshu.

Gu Deng and Zhang Li sat by the window, and the old lady brought two cups of coffee and a small plate of mixed dried blueberries and raspberries, saying they were picked in the wild last autumn.

Gu Deng politely tasted them and heard Zhang Li ask, “Do you want me to go downstairs?”

Gu Deng looked up in surprise, grateful, “That would be great.”

“Alright,” Zhang Li picked up his coffee and stood up. “I’ll go downstairs to check some information. Call me if you need anything.”

Gu Deng breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Zhang Li again.

After Zhang Li left, the second floor became completely quiet, but not entirely silent. A window was open, allowing the sound of waves and seagulls to drift in.

Gu Deng sat by the window like an ordinary tourist, slowly finishing his coffee and eating the dried fruit before analyzing the current situation.

Although he felt a bit guilty, Gu Deng didn’t regret leaving the hospital. He knew others were concerned about him, but his body’s reaction was more honest than he expected, and he didn’t want to stay in that environment.

The thought of pretending nothing was wrong in front of his mother, dealing with the mess with his manager, and facing the psychologist’s endless questions made Gu Deng feel suffocated.

But disappearing completely wasn’t something he could do so decisively.

With the support of family, his manager, and fans, he had achieved what he had today. To just up and leave would be too heartless.

Gu Deng sighed, feeling a headache coming on. If only he hadn’t fainted back then, even if he turned into an animal or a piece of furniture, it would be better than facing today’s dilemma.

At dusk, Zhang Li came back upstairs.

Gu Deng was staring out at the sea in a daze, and when he saw Zhang Li, he immediately showed a pitiful expression.

Zhang Li asked, “Still haven’t figured it out?”

Gu Deng shook his head. “No clue.”

He racked his brains but couldn’t come up with a plan that would satisfy everyone.

“Then let’s eat first.” Zhang Li handed him a menu, letting Gu Deng choose which set meal he preferred.

Gu Deng pointed to one randomly, resting his chin on his hand as he watched Zhang Li.

“Anything else?” Zhang Li asked, leaning forward as he stood up, closing the distance between them.

Gu Deng didn’t answer, just kept looking at him. Zhang Li naturally had a face that seemed to have a strong appetite, with thick eyebrows, a high nose bridge, double eyelids, slightly thick lips, a prominent philtrum, and a well-defined jawline—Zhang Li’s features were quite sensual, but his usual cold demeanor overshadowed that primal feeling.

Gu Deng suddenly asked, “Do you eat three meals regularly?”

Zhang Li raised an eyebrow. “You don’t?”

Of course, Gu Deng didn’t. His meals were very irregular. His schedule was upside down, with binge eating or only one meal a day, living carelessly and freely.

Zhang Li tried to understand why Gu Deng was asking and asked, “You don’t want to eat dinner?”

Gu Deng indeed didn’t have much of an appetite, but he also thought it wouldn’t hurt to eat a little.

“No,” Gu Deng shook his head. “I’m just curious. Don’t you ever feel stressed or anxious?”

Zhang Li paused, silent for a moment before saying, “I do.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“My method isn’t suitable for you.”

“Oh, then forget it.” Gu Deng nodded, not sounding disappointed.

Zhang Li sat down across from him, saying, “Are you in trouble? Need my help?”

Gu Deng felt like laughing and casually asked, “What could you help me with?”

Zhang Li replied, “Anything.”

This time, Gu Deng genuinely laughed, shaking his head. “You can’t solve my problem. I don’t even know what my problem is.”

Zhang Li glanced at him and didn’t say anything more.

Feeling a bit awkward, Gu Deng didn’t want the atmosphere to be too heavy, so he proactively changed the subject, “Are we eating here?”

“Yes.” Zhang Li said, then left with the menu.

Dinner arrived quickly, and the sun hadn’t even set by the time it was served. Gu Deng wasn’t very hungry and felt full after eating a quarter of it.

Zhang Li quickly finished his food and looked up, asking, “You’re not eating anymore?”

Gu Deng said he wasn’t, then added a bit regretfully, “I forgot to order less.”

“They only sell set meals here, so ordering less wouldn’t help.” Zhang Li said, extending his right hand toward Gu Deng.

Gu Deng was puzzled. “?”

Zhang Li pointed at the plate. “Give it to me.”

Before Gu Deng’s brain could react, he had already handed it over. Zhang Li took the plate and continued eating the leftovers.

Gu Deng finally realized, and then there was the awkwardness.

He never did things like letting others eat his leftovers… but Zhang Li’s expression was so natural, without any hint of force or disdain. Or maybe he just genuinely cherished food? After all, Zhang Li often worked in the wild and probably had a deeper appreciation for food… right?

Yeah, that must be it. Gu Deng finished half a glass of water and adjusted his mood.

After Zhang Li finished eating, he proactively cleaned up the table and took the plates downstairs.

Outside, tourists curiously peered in. Despite it still being business hours and there being people inside, the “CLOSE” sign was hung up.

Someone asked through the glass, and the old lady said the shop was closed today due to personal matters and asked them to come back tomorrow.

Zhang Li placed the plates in the dishwasher, saying, “Thank you.”

The old lady shook her head, smiling and waving her hand. “You’ve helped us so much; this is just a small favor.”

Zhang Li carried two cups of hot water upstairs, finding Gu Deng had moved from his seat to the staircase.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said you couldn’t help earlier,” Gu Deng stepped aside to let Zhang Li pass, adding, “You came to the hospital to see me, took me out of there, and found me this quiet place. You’ve actually done a lot for me.”

After listening, Zhang Li shook his head, indicating it was no problem.

After a moment of silence, he added, “My method really isn’t something you can do.”

Gu Deng nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

With that matter cleared up, Zhang Li placed the water cup in front of Gu Deng and sat down. Gu Deng held the cup, thanking him.

No one spoke again, but strangely, Gu Deng didn’t feel awkward. For Gu Deng, this was quite unbelievable, as they had almost had a disagreement earlier, yet now they could quietly sit together and drink hot tea.

Gu Deng began pondering this issue again. Why didn’t he feel pressured in front of Zhang Li?

Was it the special environment of the trip? That didn’t seem right; he had traveled before but found it hard to completely relax.

Or was it because they were just acquaintances, so he didn’t have to care about how Zhang Li saw him? After all, Zhang Li wasn’t his fan and had already seen him at his worst.

But Gu Deng didn’t think that was all. He felt Zhang Li had a magical quality, with his physique, personality, and demeanor making him seem like a giant teddy bear—warm and soft, patiently listening to a child’s bedtime chatter.

“Um…” Gu Deng rubbed the cup with his index finger, tentatively starting.

“Yeah?” Zhang Li had already looked up.

“You probably know a bit about my situation, right?” Gu Deng organized his words, saying, “I’ve encountered some problems. I originally planned to disappear for a while, think things through, and then explain to everyone. I didn’t expect to faint and end up trending, causing so many people to fly over. But I’m not ready to meet everyone yet, and disappearing isn’t an option either. They came all this way, and I don’t want to make anyone sad.”

“I understand,” Zhang Li nodded. “Your current situation is that you don’t want to see them, but you also don’t want to just disappear. In other words, you want everyone to understand your situation and give you some time alone, while also trying not to damage your relationships.”

A very accurate summary, Gu Deng nodded. “That’s right.”

Zhang Li suggested, “If you don’t want to show up, how about expressing it on social media?”

Gu Deng thought about it and said, “The method is fine, but my Weibo is managed by my agent, and I can’t log in.”

It’s not that the agency restricts him; the account was originally managed by Sister Lan. When Gu Deng debuted, he was too young, a 12-year-old pretty boy, and the private messages were unbearable. To protect Gu Deng, Weibo was always managed by Sister Lan, and only when they met would she allow Gu Deng to reply to some comments himself.

Gu Deng also had a small account, playing with various memes, so he didn’t feel restricted.

It wasn’t until after he became an adult that Gu Deng fully took over his Weibo. Occasionally, when attacked by haters, he would hand the account back to Sister Lan to manage.

Because he had a weakness that was widely criticized by the studio members—he still couldn’t handle the malice directed at him.

Public figures can’t avoid having haters. Although Gu Deng was an original singer, he was good-looking and quickly became popular, attracting haters inevitably.

But Gu Deng was timid and sensitive. He didn’t dare to read negative comments, and when he did, he’d get so angry he’d cry. The funniest time was when he cried while arguing with a hater, only to be blocked by them. Sister Lan felt both heartache and frustration at his lack of backbone.

But his friend Yan Jing was different. He forced himself to read, especially the harshest and dirtiest insults, desensitizing himself. Not only that, Yan Jing would even personally engage in battles with haters.

The outside world praised Brother Jing as fierce, the number one anti-hater in the Chinese music scene. Gu Deng once joked about this, and Yan Jing laughed, saying, “If you can’t handle the haters, pass them to me, and I’ll help you fight!”

But Gu Deng also caught Yan Jing crying in the bathroom. Even someone so strong couldn’t completely digest the endless online malice.

Since then, Gu Deng had come to terms with negative comments. For those who didn’t like him, he no longer insisted on explaining but chose to ignore and physically distance himself.

Later, the studio and he managed the account together until Gu Deng hit a creative bottleneck and was diagnosed with an illness. He couldn’t face the fans’ inquiries and expectations, so he handed the account back to the studio.

The last time Gu Deng logged into Weibo was a month ago. At that time, he was staying in a tropical villa for depression treatment, and when Sister Lan came to see him, Gu Deng said he wanted to chat with his fans. Sister Lan was busy managing other artists, and while Gu Deng could afford to not work for four years, the studio team needed to be supported.

Sister Lan signed two veteran artists and took on a few newcomers, all doing well and getting busier, gradually neglecting Gu Deng. Feeling guilty, Sister Lan handed over the password without hesitation.

What she didn’t expect was that the first thing Gu Deng did with access was announce his retirement and then completely disappear.

With such a history, there’s no way Gu Deng would have another chance to log in. But he didn’t want to meet them, and even making a phone call felt stressful, so communicating through social media was naturally out of the question.

Zhang Li, however, suggested, “If you can’t use the main account, how about creating a new one?”

Gu Deng thought it was a good idea but quickly realized it wouldn’t work, shaking his head. “Who would see a new account? Even if they did, they wouldn’t believe it’s me.”

“What if you add a photo?” Zhang Li asked. “Would you mind?”

A photo of him? In his current state, it would be embarrassing for people to see…

But there really wasn’t another way. Gu Deng was silent for over a minute before finally nodding, “If it’s just a photo, it’s okay.”

·

After Gu Deng disappeared, Shen Qinglan almost turned the hospital upside down. It wasn’t until they checked the surveillance footage after reporting to the police that they found out Gu Deng had left the hospital on his own.

The police don’t handle runaways, so Shen Qinglan had to search on her own.

She had come in a hurry, and with the difficulty of obtaining a U.S. visa, she only brought a few people with her. Now, half were dealing with public relations, and the other half were searching everywhere, even Gu Deng’s mother and brother were busy.

But they still couldn’t find him. The town was so small, yet Gu Deng seemed to have vanished into thin air.

As time went on, the fans outside grew more emotional, while Shen Qinglan had made no progress, pacing anxiously in the hospital room, barefoot.

“Lan Jie!” At that moment, Xiao Mi ran over, out of breath, holding up her phone. “There’s a Weibo post that might be Deng Ge’s new account. It already has over a thousand shares!”

Shen Qinglan looked down at the phone. An account named @DengDengDengDengDengDengDeng had posted a Weibo five minutes ago.

[@DengDengDengDengDengDengDeng: Thank you all for your concern. I’m doing well right now, just not ready to meet everyone yet. I want to take some time away to think things through. No set return date, please forgive my selfishness.]

In the photo, Gu Deng was wearing the same jacket from the surveillance footage, sitting by a window, holding a cup with a somewhat nervous look toward the camera. Behind him was the southern fjord of Alaska, the sea sparkling, and a bald eagle soaring into the blue sky.