KC | Chapter 64

Whenever a new product went on the market, advertisers would pour in a large amount of ads for a short period in order to open up the market. When the budget was used up, whether the new product could survive in the market had to be tested by time and the environment together.

The once wildly popular Aido DVD, Nokia, Mixue Bingcheng… all were like a fleeting bloom.

Chen Xi was Lin Yiran’s “new product”.

He could invest time, energy, and money into Chen Xi, pay for his own wantonness, and once the heat faded, they would be apart, each going their own way. Two years ago he had stolen Chen Xi’s order, this year he had caused Chen Xi to have no new job. He hoped these past matters would never surface. In order to make up for those immoral debts, he would treat Chen Xi well, so that when the two of them separated, he would not think of it with the same reluctance and heartache as he did now.

The 25-year-old Chen Xi could be bewitched by dopamine and fall into a passionate, earth-shaking love affair, but the 35-year-old Lin Yiran could not.

Before coaxing Chen Xi home, Lin Yiran had made three gradual probes. He was also probing how much of his bottom line Chen Xi could accept.

Chen Xi knew about the dirty things he had done to Gu Lin, but that was work-related, and it only affected Chen Xi’s indirect interests. His first candid admission of the direct impact on Chen Xi in life was also to test what extent Chen Xi could accept him.

There was also the fact that he did not want to lie to Chen Xi. If that day were defined as drunken sex, then their relationship would begin with “immorality.” Lin Yiran did not want that in the future, when the two of them separated and Chen Xi thought about this relationship, he would feel disgusted.

Their difference in thinking caused Lin Yiran’s honesty to be comfort for himself, but for Chen Xi it was not comfort, it was a thunderbolt.

What did Brother Lin just say, “he wasn’t drunk”?

A straight man who wasn’t drunk, in a sober state, had sex with me?

Two months ago, even if I was the one who seduced him first, why did I end up on his bed in a daze?

The lubricant already bought and kept by the bedside, Lin Yiran’s habitual thinking was not missing anything, so what happened before was not an accident either, not drunken sex, but deliberate!

Chen Xi’s brows tightened, forming deep grooves. The body temperature that had just come down was pulled up little by little by his emotions. He could not imagine what kind of thoughts Lin Yiran had been harboring while doing such a thing. No matter how thick the lover’s filter was, it could not hide the sleaziness.

“Lin Yiran, is your dick inlaid with diamonds, that it can get hard anytime, and anyone can fuck it?” Chen Xi’s voice was very cold, carrying a thin layer of anger. This was the first time he had blown up at Lin Yiran.

Lin Yiran wanted to soothe him. Just as he reached out, Chen Xi turned his head and dodged.

Not calling him brother again, it seemed he was really angry.

A grown man was not a little girl, so why did he still need to be coaxed?

When he ran into trouble and could not think of a solution, he got angry. When a client yelled at him, he whined. When something hurt, he cried. How delicate.

Fine, delicate it was. Saying a couple of soft words would not cost him any flesh.

“My dick isn’t inlaid with diamonds, and I can’t, like you young people, get up and record fingerprints anytime. That day you were too good-looking, I really couldn’t help myself…” Lin Yiran’s face did not change and his heart did not jump, his coaxing skills came naturally, opening his eyes to tell lies.

Hah?

I look good? Are you trying to imply I seduced you?

You can get hard while eating a meal, and you still have the nerve to say you couldn’t help yourself?

“I’m a man, not a little girl. I don’t need you to coax me,” Chen Xi said. “I just want to know, didn’t you pay the bill and leave that day? Why did you end up on my bed?”

“You knocked on my room door and came in on your own. I didn’t ask you, and yet you came to ask me?”

“How could that be, I clearly went upstairs to find Brother Li…”

“How couldn’t it be, Li Hua was in 1603, I was in 1602, you came in on your own. If you don’t believe it, then call the KTV and check the surveillance from that day.”

“If I want to check, would they really let me check?”

“Just say something was lost. If they won’t let you, then call the police, you can always get it checked.”

This was the first time they had discussed that night in detail. Chen Xi kept picking fights, wishing he could shake out all the pent-up frustration from the past few days at once; Lin Yiran tried coaxing and praising him, but to no avail, and then seriously reasoned it out with him.

When it came to reasoning and sorting out the timeline, even when Chen Xi was clear-headed he could not outtalk Lin Yiran, let alone now when the fever had not fully gone down.

Chen Xi frowned and started doubting himself: Could it be that night, I was the one at fault? But just now it was clearly he who was at fault, so how did it become my fault as he talked?

–

Lin Yiran’s brain worked fast, and his skill at shifting blame was first-rate. Chen Xi reacted too slowly all of a sudden and got led into his ditch.

Chen Xi carefully recalled the next day. Because the sheets were badly worn and contaminated, when checking out of the KTV they charged him an extra 50 yuan. The front desk and the cleaning aunt repeatedly confirmed through the walkie-talkie: 1602.

So I wrongly blamed Lin Yiran.

But even if that day’s matter was not deliberate, it still could not be entirely my fault!

Chen Xi said, “At the beginning I was drunk out of my mind and couldn’t remember. Even if I did something inappropriate later, I woke up more than once and said stop. Did you stop?”

“I thought you were…” doing something intimate.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hold back at the time.” Lin Yiran admitted his fault without hesitation and lowered his head decisively.

That day’s matter could not be blamed on one side alone. If judged by the degree of injury, Chen Xi was obviously the victim. If putting all the blame on him could make Chen Xi feel better, Lin Yiran did not mind giving way at all.

Chen Xi had not expected Lin Yiran to lower his head so quickly, like punching cotton, making him frustrated and unhappy.

Lin Yiran took the initiative to confess, “I had a lot of people before, I don’t want to lie to you.” Because “I slept with you” was the fact, the things on the bed could not be lied about.

“You’re not a suitable 419 partner, and you’re also the same sex. These days I’ve also been thinking about why it happened that night, and I only figured it out a few days ago. The reason I would unconsciously stop Shen Yuesheng’s car and call your phone was because I cared.” So many days without explaining it to you was my fault. If you want to hear it, I’ll tell you.

Chen Xi shook his head and sneered, “You care about me, but you didn’t tell me you were already divorced?” If I hadn’t run into Wang Jingjing by chance, if I hadn’t asked you, I think you probably would not have taken the initiative to tell me.

Every time I thought about having slept with a married man, the red line of morality tightened around me until I could not eat or sleep in peace. I quit my job and distanced myself from you, you are so good at reading people’s faces and moods, how could you not know what I was thinking?

You always knew what I was struggling with, but you didn’t explain it to me. You call that caring? Heh.

“The reason I didn’t tell you about the divorce before was because I hadn’t figured out where to place you yet.” Lin Yiran had always been direct when it came to emotional expression. “I don’t know when I started caring about you, but I thought, if that night had been someone else, I wouldn’t have.”

“That night was me, that’s a fact. You’ve slept with a lot of people too, that’s also a fact. Based on the facts, whoever went looking for you that night, you would stab whoever! So, all those sweet words you just said can’t prove anything.”

When shrews fought, they cursed in the streets, when intellectuals fought, they were full of classical turns of phrase, when KA fought, they were clear and orderly and reasoned it out.

Chen Xi had previously guessed that Lin Yiran was not a good thing, and hearing the other party admit it with his own ears was another matter. Thinking about how he had messed with a bunch of alluring women and men, he felt gross inside, and whatever unpleasant thing came to mind he said.

“If the one who came looking for me that night had been Zhang Yuanji, I might have kicked him off the bed.” The hypothetical method was KA’s usual move in negotiations. Using this method easily formed a concrete picture, letting the client judge whether it matched their psychological expectations.

The image of Lin Yiran on the bed flashed through Chen Xi’s mind, and in an instant all his hairs stood on end.

That scene was more bizarre than the Chinese men’s football team winning the championship.

Chen Xi ran through all the men present that night in his mind, and felt that, just as Lin Yiran said, if he swapped himself for someone else, 99.9% of the time it would not hold.

But being thin was not my fault. Doing me over because of that was too self-righteous.

Chen Xi had a bellyful of anger and deliberately picked a fight: “I know, being drunk can cause erectile dysfunction. I even wondered before how you could get hard. So it turned out you weren’t drunk at all. I also know that force works both ways. Normally speaking, if I’m uncomfortable, you wouldn’t feel much better either, but as it turned out, I was in so much pain I was about to die, and your diamond-inlaid thing didn’t show the slightest bit of pain. Right, you had done it with so many people, it had been forged through a thousand trials and a hundred temperings.”

Lin Yiran: …

You’re really not holding back at all.

“I really was wrong before. I won’t do it again later. I promise, really.” Lin Yiran admitted his mistake again, his attitude sincere, only this wording sounded too much like a template.

–

“Chen Xi, the fault that night really was on me. If you’re unhappy, you can curse me or hit me. I’m telling you these things because I want to be honest about the past, so that there will be no grudges in our future dealings, not because I want to argue with you.” Lin Yiran knew how to move the client with sincerity in a losing position. He did not repeatedly use that night to prove who was right and who was wrong with Chen Xi, but instead brought the discussion to a topic more suitable for the two of them to discuss the project.

Chen Xi’s original purpose in talking to him this time was to confirm their relationship. He had not expected it to turn into an argument as they talked. What he had just said was indeed spoken in anger. Lin Yiran was not only the object of his admiration, he was also his immediate superior. Since he had already given him enough of a way down, he should not keep being stubborn and insist on digging out the whole past until it was turned upside down.

Objectively speaking, both sides had been at fault that day. Opening that night up today could be considered putting an end to a knot in the heart. Just as Lin Yiran had said, after being honest, there would be no grudges in their dealings.

Chen Xi lowered his head and gave a soft “mm,” then thought again: Lin Yiran had never given him an answer, had never confirmed their relationship.

He had not figured out where to place him, which meant he had no place.

Lin Yiran wanted Chen Xi to be a touchable relationship with no fixed place.

He had understood his words.

Chen Xi had thought Lin Yiran would have some liking for him, but the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. An emotion filled with hope was denied, and what followed was a huge psychological gap.

Lin Yiran saw the disappointment in him. Although he could not answer their relationship, he was willing to say something nice to coax him into feeling better.

“Chen Xi, the feeling you give me is unprecedented.”

Lin Yiran placed Chen Xi’s hand against his chest and said, “This place is very restless, very hot, beating very violently, burning every second.”

Chen Xi clearly felt the fierce heartbeat beneath his palm, the surging frequency like drumbeats pounding one after another, restlessly crashing into his organs.

“If I had to describe this feeling, it would probably be a volcanic eruption.”