KC | Chapter 15

For the past few years, whenever Chen Xi was about to go visit an important client or a client was about to transfer money in the next few days, he would check his horoscope. If his money luck or career luck showed five stars, Chen Xi would silently repeat in his heart: today I will definitely sign the contract; if the horoscope was bad, Chen Xi would comfort himself: if I can still sign a contract when the luck is bad, that proves I’m NB!

Over time, the horoscope had already become his placebo. Chen Xi would blame setbacks on his luck and find excuses for himself.

Although he knew superstition was not something to rely on, sales needed a little motivation, and Chen Xi used “horoscope” as psychological suggestion, constantly giving himself a shot of strength, urging himself on, and making the best of hardship.

Mortgage and rent forced Chen Xi to keep working. Not finding another job meant he had to keep working at Lanhai, had to face heavy workloads, had to deal with customers with bizarre demands, had to face suffocating evaluations… He had been living like this for the past three years, and those things were all manageable.

But he had just cursed at his direct supervisor, slept with the boss of the system, and the two leaders of KA both had abnormal relationships with him. How was he supposed to keep working after that?

If time could flow backward, if he could go back to eight days ago, after the celebration banquet, Chen Xi would definitely obediently take a taxi home and not save that 40 yuan; he would definitely not have a head-on conflict with Wang Shuang, would work properly and quietly be a dog, and work hard. But time could not flow backward, and what should have happened had already happened.

Forget it, don’t think about so much. There would always be a way when the cart reached the mountain pass. If he couldn’t die, then he might as well muddle through.

The miserable office drone drooped his head and went back to Lanhai to work the next day. In the morning, he deliberately timed it to step into the company just right, afraid of running into any leader.

“The second set of broadcast calisthenics, the era is calling…” As soon as the music in the Lanhai work area started, everyone stood up to do exercises.

Chen Xi’s arms could not stretch straight, his legs could not kick high, and he floated along with the music like he had no bones, his face practically written with “depressed.”

Since becoming a salesman, Chen Xi’s mood had risen and fallen every day like a roller coaster. He felt that his mental state was already abnormal.

From behind came Zhang Yuanji’s voice: “Xiao Chen, after so many days off, are you feeling better?”

“Much better, Brother Zhang. It was just heatstroke before, I stayed home for a few more days, nothing serious.”

Zhang Yuanji saw through it but did not say it plainly: you got drunk and still went out messing around, obviously you were drained dry. You were weak for so many days before coming in, brother, you really were putting in effort!

Chen Xi was not careful for a moment, and while doing the exercises he kicked the desk during a leg-lifting move. His foot hurt so badly that he could not stand up.

“Chen Xi, what are you doing, can you do the exercises properly or not?” Wang Shuang was leading the exercises in front and called him out in front of many people.

Chen Xi did not dare offend Wang Shuang again. He gritted his teeth and got up, then followed along with the exercises.

After morning exercise, Wang Shuang organized KA to go to the conference room. The broken tables and chairs had been replaced with new ones, and the projector also worked now. Chen Xi thought: when a new official takes office, three fires are lit, Wang Shuang, though this person is a bit petty and vicious, really did get things done!

The screen projected the product ad courseware, and Wang Shuang stood at the front to begin training everyone on product knowledge.

Coming back to work after resting for a week was a little hard to get used to. Chen Xi had “his body in Cao camp while his heart was in Han”, thinking all about finding a job, not in the mood to listen to the training, and he quietly asked Zhang Yuanji beside him, “Brother Zhang, does your friend’s company have any openings?”

“Why?”

“I… I have a friend who wants to find a job. The salary doesn’t need to be too high, around 7,000 is fine. They can do internet operations, market planning, marketing supervisor and the like.” Rent was 1,300, mortgage was 2,500, as long as he could still survive after insurance deductions, that would be enough.

Zhang Yuanji had wide connections, and Chen Xi was close to him. After interview after interview had hit a wall, Chen Xi wanted Zhang Yuanji to introduce him to a job. The two of them talked about everything in their daily lives and often made harmless jokes, but close was close, and about what happened with Lin Yiran, Chen Xi would never say it even if he died.

Zhang Yuanji agreed, “I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

“Chen Xi, what are you muttering over there for? If you have a question, you can stand up and say it, and we can discuss together.” Wang Shuang raised his eyebrows and glared.

Chen Xi was talking with Zhang Yuanji, but Wang Shuang only criticized Chen Xi, clearly just trying to make things unpleasant for him on purpose. Who told him to be so stubborn, insisting on saying those words so absolutely last week. Now Wang Shuang was putting small shoes on him, and it was miserable as hell.

After being scolded, Chen Xi did not even dare breathe loudly. He did not dare make another sound to disturb the class order, but he really could not listen to Wang Shuang’s training. The sales onboarding training at Lanhai talked about these same things, and Chen Xi knew them by heart, and did not want to “review the old and gain new insights”.

You won’t let me speak, but that won’t stop me from spacing out, right?

Chen Xi typed a line on his phone and showed it to Zhang Yuanji: How did the morning meeting turn into training?

Zhang Yuanji also typed back on his phone: After you left last week, Wang Shuang said he wanted to train us in product knowledge, one topic every day.

Chen Xi: And you all just listen like this?

Zhang Yuanji: Even if we don’t listen, it won’t work. Brother Lin said, “All KA staff are required to be on site for training, those who are absent will be handled as absenteeism.”

Chen Xi looked around, and the small conference room was almost full. Sure enough, apart from Lin Yiran, all the KA people were there.

Why hadn’t Lin Yiran come, was he going to meet clients?

Better if he didn’t come, who cared!

Lanhai had only one dimension for sales evaluation, gross profit.

Every month, sales would receive corresponding gross profit tasks according to their level. Above 100 points meant promotion, 80 to 99 meant keeping the level, and below 80 meant demotion. Business sales levels were divided into nine grades, S03 to S11, corresponding to a base salary increasing from 3,000 upward. KA levels were divided into five grades, S09 to S13, corresponding to a base salary increasing from 6,000 upward. If a quarter failed the evaluation, they would be demoted, and if they failed for two consecutive quarters, they would be directly dismissed.

Take Chen Xi for example, his level was S10, his base salary was 7,000, and if he signed a few clients, he would have spare money to buy some A-grade goods and go eat with friends; if he did not sign clients and just muddled through on base salary, he would drop a level, and with a lower level and lower base salary, he would not be able to maintain normal expenses.

Salespeople were like pawns on a chessboard, able to move forward only, not backward. Demotion was easy, keeping the level was hard, and promotion was harder than reaching the sky.

Gross profit could come from new clients or old clients, the difference being commission. New client gross profit commission was 20 percent, while old client gross profit commission was only 5 percent. Although old clients did not bring much commission, they affected whether the evaluation was met.

This morning brought bad news, Chen Xi’s old client was no longer cooperating.

Chen Xi’s gross profit task every quarter was 100,000. Completing 100,000 meant promotion, completing 80,000 meant keeping the level, and below 80,000 meant demotion. The uncooperative old client had contributed around 40,000 gross profit every quarter before. Losing it had cut Chen Xi’s strength in half, and it would be very hard to meet this quarter’s evaluation.

Chen Xi had been at Lanhai for three years, forcing himself to meet the evaluation every time, and had never fallen behind. But this time the old client collapsed too suddenly, and right now he had no new client that could make up the 40,000 gross profit gap.

Usually, when KA lost a core old client, they would be demoted that quarter. Worse still, some could not make up the gross profit gap and were directly dismissed after failing the evaluation for two consecutive quarters. Zhang Yuanji, Ma Longfei, and Li Hua had all experienced the pain of losing old clients, and now it was Chen Xi’s turn.

On his first day back at work, Chen Xi was completely out of state. One moment he fetched water, another moment he asked the competitive media department for a list of clients, another moment he called old clients trying to salvage things, but he was refused miserably by the client side. The whole day was completely wasted, always busy with pointless things, and yet he could not say what he had actually been busy with.

Chen Xi’s current situation was that he could not find a job, yet he also could not settle down to work, constantly consuming himself from the inside. He did not want to be like this, but when he thought about the future, he still could not suppress the anxiety.

Anxiety was like a mermaid tear fire, igniting inside the body and refusing to go out for a long time, roasting and burning him from the inside out.

He had not done any proper work all day, yet he was unusually exhausted. He had no appetite at all for dinner. Chen Xi collapsed on the bed and covered the pillow with another pillow, pretending to be dead.

He wanted to avoid work, avoid life, hide himself away, or go to a place where there was absolutely no one, cut off from the world. That way he would not have to worry so much, and would not live so miserably.

Under the quadruple blow of “slept with Lin Yiran”, “offended Wang Shuang”, “Wang Jingjing is pregnant”, and “old client failed”, Chen Xi was battling with heaven and man in his head, his temples splitting with pain, the cortical tissue of his brain’s front and back lobes coiling into a mess, twisting into a braid, then stretching outward again, stretched so painfully and uncomfortably that it felt like his brain was about to explode.

Chen Xi saw himself like a string of firecrackers being set off, blown into pieces, shattered into several fragments.

The scattered brain cells gathered and reorganized, forming three little people who looked exactly like him. The three little people looked at me, I looked at you, each voicing their own opinions and refusing to give way to the others.

Hothead No. 1: That bitch Lin got his wife pregnant, he was holding it in and felt awful, so he stabbed me! M L G B!

Rational No. 2: Lin Yiran forced himself on me, why am I the one who has to look for a job, why do I have to take the blame?

Coward No. 3: Being a salesman is not a long-term plan, I never wanted to work at Lanhai in the first place. Even if I didn’t sleep with him, with Wang Shuang becoming my superior, I would have to leave sooner or later.

No. 1: At a time like this you’re still making excuses for Lin dog, that’s disgusting, you deserved to get stabbed!

No. 3 cried miserably: Whether his wife is pregnant or not has nothing to do with me, I’m just speaking on the facts…

No. 2: Cut the crap, if Lin Yiran’s wife weren’t pregnant, would he have been so desperate that he’d even go after a man?

No. 1: With this and that, how are you still supposed to bring up drunk and reckless behavior, how are you supposed to act like nothing happened and move on?

No. 2: Yeah, I can keep my distance from him, but the way he was clearly didn’t want to keep his distance from me. He even dared to touch me in the conference room, and make mouth shapes at me at the front desk. So shameless!

No. 3 howled and cried: I slept with a married man, I’m guilty! How could I, wuwu, stop mentioning him to me, please, I’m begging you!

No. 1: Heh, what the hell kind of guilt do you have, weren’t you pretty damn pleased that day, force-frying turned into joint-frying.

No. 2: If I were a woman I’d sue him, there’d be evidence in the body! But our loss is our loss because we’re men, this crime doesn’t count against a guy!

No. 1: Lin dog still came to flirt after sleeping with me, it was definitely intentional! He obviously doesn’t want to move on, and probably wants to develop a secret affair with me. A secret affair, damn, that’s exciting!

No. 3: Can you be normal for once!

No. 1: What are you pretending for, every night thinking about Lin dog and masturbating, after sleeping with him you no longer want to do it.

No. 3: No. 2, what are you doing, hurry up and help me persuade No. 1, this line of thinking is very dangerous.

No. 2 had a nosebleed: srds a secret affair really can exist! Brother Lin’s waist was so damn powerful, wuwu I still want more, sorry, I’m guilty, wuwu wuwu.

No. 3: …

No. 1 continued to deliver the fatal blow: I originally wanted to grit my teeth and endure it, but now the old client has fallen through, so what the hell is the point of still working my ass off at Lanhai.

No. 3 said aggrievedly: There are no clients to sign, why are you being so negative!

No. 2: When the cart reaches the mountain pass there will always be a way, don’t get anxious yet, don’t whine, if there are no orders then at worst just muddle through on base salary. After muddling through this quarter, we’ll talk about next quarter’s evaluation.

No. 3 cried and sniveled: But if I don’t go to work, I still won’t be able to pay the mortgage or rent. Am I supposed to sleep on the street! If I don’t sign deals it won’t work, the current base salary is just barely enough to spend, if I drop a level again I’ll really not be able to eat!

No. 1 suddenly had an idea: Actually, I have a method. We can ask Lin dog how he felt last time, and if it seemed okay, we can keep letting him do it, and each time charge him some injury compensation or something…

No. 3 cursed in anger: You’re even more beastly than Lin Yiran!

No. 2: I think it’s workable. The money from last time still hasn’t been paid, we can have him settle the last bill first.

No. 3: …Do you know what the hell you’re saying?

No. 1: Actually, we could also blackmail him, say: I kept evidence last time, if you don’t give me money, I’ll tell your wife!

No. 2 echoed: This is good, Lin Yiran is slick and glib, directly asking for money probably won’t blackmail me, to deal with him we have to use tougher methods!

No. 3 collapsed: I beg you all to be human!

…

The three little people bounced around inside Chen Xi’s head all night. He felt like he had slept, but also like he had not slept. The next morning, Chen Xi was half asleep and half awake when the alarm clock woke him. He got up to wash up, floating around like he was about to become immortal.

Negative emotions like passivity, anger, and confusion were like gunpowder, with a large amount of gunpowder poured into Chen Xi’s wooden bucket. The gunpowder inside the bucket was full, and Chen Xi could not bear the consequences of exploding outward, so he could only explode inward, blowing out many versions of himself.

Each was him, and each was not him.

For money, he had no choice but to compromise with life.

The environment could not be changed, only himself could be changed. With nowhere to vent his repressed emotions, he had to smooth away all his edges and corners, and adapt to this damned life.

If he did not erupt in silence, then he would split apart in silence.