WC ⋆ Chapter 17

# ISSUE LOG

| Chinese Source | Original English | Corrected Version | Issue Type | Explanation |

|—|—|—|—|—|

| 他们在校对面的酒店开了相同一间房 | They booked the same room at the Hotel across from the school | They booked a room at the hotel across from the school | Mistranslation | “相同一间房” means “one room” or “a room,” not “the same room.” The original doesn’t imply they’ve booked multiple rooms or are comparing to a previous booking. The word “相同” here means “identical/same” in the sense of “one and the same room,” not “the same as before.” |

| 把凡子安顿好之后 | by the time they had settled Fan Zi in | after settling Fan Zi in | Awkward phrasing | The original is more straightforward; “by the time” suggests a longer process than the source implies. |

| 这是个不尴不尬的时间 | It was an awkward hour | It was an in-between hour | Mistranslation | “不尴不尬” literally means “neither awkward nor embarrassing,” describing a time that is neither one thing nor another—too late to sleep much, too early to wake up. “Awkward” captures the feeling but misses the “in-between” nature. |

| 看起来睡不了多久就要天亮了，叫人恨不得干脆熬穿算了，可细细算下来又确实能睡上一阵，不睡有点可惜 | the kind where it looked like there was barely enough time to sleep before dawn, making you wish you could just push through the whole night, yet when you actually counted the hours there was still a decent stretch to be had, and skipping sleep felt like a waste | it looked like there wasn’t much time to sleep before dawn, making you wish you could just stay up all night instead, yet when you actually counted the hours there was still quite a bit of time to sleep, and not sleeping felt like a waste | Tone shift | The original translation’s phrasing is somewhat awkward. “Push through the whole night” is acceptable but “decent stretch” is vague. The source emphasizes the contradiction more clearly. |

| 戚林侧躺在床上 | Qi Lin lay on his side in bed | Qi Lin lay on his side in bed | Correct | No issue. |

| 眼睛适应了黑暗后能看到隔壁床的凡子仰面朝天 | Once his eyes adjusted to the dark he could make out Fan Zi in the next bed, flat on his back | Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could make out Fan Zi in the next bed, lying on his back | Grammar/Tone | “Flat on his back” is colloquial and works, but “lying on his back” is more literal and maintains consistency with the source’s neutral tone. |

| 正睡得昏天黑地 | dead to the world | dead to the world | Correct | Excellent idiomatic translation. |

| 和昨天时一样 | exactly the same as the day before | exactly as he was the day before | Awkward phrasing | Minor adjustment for clarity and flow. |

| 他闭上眼睛，却怎么样也酝酿不出来睡意 | He closed his eyes, but no matter what he did he couldn’t summon any drowsiness | He closed his eyes, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t summon any drowsiness | Grammar | Missing comma after “did.” |

| 单日循环虽然也是一天天过，却会给人施加一种很难捕捉的心理压力 | The single-day loop, even though it passed day by day, exerted a kind of psychological pressure that was hard to pin down | The single-day loop, even though it passed day by day, exerted a kind of psychological pressure that was hard to grasp | Tone shift | “Pin down” is slightly more colloquial than the source warrants. “Grasp” or “capture” is closer to the original “捕捉” (capture/grasp). |

| 戚林无法准确形容那种压力的来源，又或许是来源太复杂，让他难以捋清头绪 | Qi Lin couldn’t accurately describe where that pressure came from, or perhaps its sources were too tangled for him to sort out | Qi Lin couldn’t accurately describe where that pressure came from, or perhaps its sources were too complex for him to untangle | Tone shift | “Tangled” and “sort out” are acceptable but slightly colloquial. “Complex” and “untangle” maintain the source’s more introspective tone better. |

| 完全玄学的事情降临在身上 | When something completely inexplicable descended on you | When something completely inexplicable descended upon him | Pronoun shift | The source uses “身上” (on him), making it personal to Qi Lin. The translation shifts to “you,” which is more general but loses the personal focus. Should be “him.” |

| 他有时会生出一种特别的社会责任感，总觉得应该好好把握循环，多做一些宏观的事情 | he sometimes felt a peculiar sense of social responsibility, always thinking he ought to make good use of the loop and do something on a grander scale | he sometimes felt a peculiar sense of social responsibility, always thinking he ought to make good use of the loop and do something more meaningful on a larger scale | Tone shift | “Grander scale” works but “宏观” (macro/larger-scale/broader) is better captured as “on a larger scale” or “more broadly.” |

| 有时又会想独善其身已经很不容易，他们自己都是烦心事缠身 | other times he thought that just looking after himself was already hard enough, and they were both already neck-deep in their own troubles | other times he thought that just taking care of himself was already difficult enough, and they were both already burdened with their own troubles | Tone shift | “Looking after” is good but “taking care of” is more natural. “Neck-deep” is idiomatic but “burdened with” is more literal to “缠身” (entangled/burdened). |

| 床铺下陷一些，江亦深在后面翻了个身，把被子扯跑了 | The mattress dipped, and Jiang Yishen rolled over behind him, dragging the blanket away | The mattress dipped slightly, and Jiang Yishen rolled over behind him, pulling the blanket away | Awkward phrasing | “Dragging” is slightly too forceful for “扯” in this context. “Pulling” is more accurate. Also “下陷一些” means “dipped slightly.” |

| 戚林闭了闭眼睛，感受到江亦深坐起身，把扯跑的被子重新扯回来，丢着盖到他身上，像从渔船上往下撒网 | Qi Lin closed his eyes for a moment and felt Jiang Yishen sit up, pull the stolen blanket back, and toss it over him, the way a fisherman casts a net off the side of a boat | Qi Lin closed his eyes for a moment and felt Jiang Yishen sit up, pull the blanket back, and toss it over him carelessly, like a fisherman casting a net off the side of a boat | Tone shift | “Stolen blanket” adds interpretation not in the source. “丢着盖” means “toss it over” (somewhat carelessly/casually), which the translation misses. The phrase “the way a fisherman casts” is good but “carelessly” better captures “丢着.” |

| 以前谈恋爱时江亦深也总是卷着被子跑，那时他会动作很轻地将被子铺好，温柔地替他盖回来 | Back when they were together, Jiang Yishen had always rolled off with the blanket too. Back then, Qi Lin would gently smooth it out and softly tuck it back over him | Back when they were dating, Jiang Yishen had always rolled away with the blanket too. Back then, Qi Lin would gently smooth it out and tenderly tuck it back over him | Tone shift | “Were together” is acceptable but “were dating” is more literal to “谈恋爱” (dating/being in a romantic relationship). “Softly” is less precise than “tenderly” for “温柔地” (gently/tenderly). |

| 今时不同往日，戚林忍了 | Times had changed. Qi Lin endured it | Times had changed. Qi Lin bore it | Tone shift | “Endured” works but “bore it” is slightly more elegant and captures “忍了” (tolerated/bore it) better. |

| 十分钟后，江亦深又翻身，被子再次一溜烟被卷走 | Ten minutes later, Jiang Yishen rolled over again, and the blanket vanished once more in an instant | Ten minutes later, Jiang Yishen rolled over again, and the blanket disappeared once more in an instant | Tone shift | “Vanished” is slightly more poetic than needed. “Disappeared” is more neutral and matches the source’s tone better. “一溜烟” means “in a flash/instantly.” |

| 戚林身上一凉，接着被子以劈头盖脸的形态重新盖回来 | Qi Lin felt a chill wash over him, and then the blanket came crashing back down over his head | Qi Lin felt a chill, and then the blanket came crashing back down over his head | Awkward phrasing | “Wash over” is slightly poetic. “Felt a chill” is more direct. “劈头盖脸” means “head-on/directly in the face,” so “over his head” captures it well. |

| 他不忍了，咬牙道 | He stopped enduring it. He gritted his teeth and said | He couldn’t bear it anymore. He gritted his teeth and said | Tone shift | “Stopped enduring” is accurate but “couldn’t bear it anymore” better captures the escalation of “不忍了” (couldn’t take it anymore). |

| 你能不能去凡子的床上睡？ | Can you go sleep in Fan Zi’s bed? | Can you go sleep in Fan Zi’s bed? | Correct | No issue. |

| 你没睡啊？江亦深吓了一跳 | You’re still awake? Jiang Yishen was startled | You’re still awake? Jiang Yishen was startled | Correct | No issue. |

| 你怎么不动 | Why haven’t you moved at all | Why haven’t you moved | Awkward phrasing | “At all” is unnecessary and makes the line awkward. The source is simpler. |

| 戚林平躺下来望着天花板 | Qi Lin lay flat on his back and stared at the ceiling | Qi Lin lay flat on his back and stared at the ceiling | Correct | No issue. |

| 突然想起来江亦深睡不着的原因了 | He suddenly remembered why Jiang Yishen couldn’t sleep | He suddenly remembered the reason why Jiang Yishen couldn’t sleep | Awkward phrasing | “The reason why” is redundant. “Why” alone is sufficient and more natural. |

| 原本这个时候他们是在烧烤店吃夜宵 | At this point in time they were supposed to be eating supper at the barbecue shop | At this point in the loop, they were supposed to be eating supper at the barbecue shop | Clarity | “In time” is vague. “In the loop” clarifies the context of the single-day loop mentioned earlier. |

| 江亦深说他饿来着 | and Jiang Yishen had said he was hungry | and Jiang Yishen had said he was hungry | Correct | No issue. |

| 你是不是饿了？ | Are you hungry? | Are you hungry? | Correct | No issue. |

| 江亦深有些诧异 | Jiang Yishen sounded a little surprised | Jiang Yishen sounded somewhat surprised | Tone shift | “A little surprised” is acceptable but “somewhat surprised” is slightly more natural. Minor. |

| 你怎么知道？ | How did you know? | How did you know? | Correct | No issue. |

| 我以为我看起来是因为心事重重而失眠 | I thought I looked like I was lying awake with something weighing on my mind | I thought I looked like I was awake because I had something weighing on my mind | Tone shift | “Lying awake” is good but “awake” alone is more direct. The source emphasizes the appearance of insomnia due to worry. |

| 戚林简直无语 | Qi Lin was at a complete loss for words | Qi Lin was at a complete loss for words | Correct | No issue. |

| 在心里忍了一下才说 | He held it in for a moment before saying | He held back for a moment before saying | Tone shift | “Held it in” is good but “held back” is slightly more natural. |

| 因为上上次你在吃大饼卷鸡柳 | Because the time before last you were eating a flatbread chicken strip wrap | Because the time before last you were eating a flatbread with chicken strips | Tone shift | “Flatbread chicken strip wrap” is awkward. “Flatbread with chicken strips” is more natural. “大饼卷鸡柳” is literally “flatbread wrapping chicken strips.” |

| 哦。江亦深坐起来，连带着被子再次飞走 | Oh. Jiang Yishen sat up, taking the blanket with him again | Oh. Jiang Yishen sat up, and the blanket flew away again | Tone shift | “Taking the blanket with him again” is clearer than “the blanket flew away again.” The source emphasizes his action causes the blanket to move. |

| 我去找点吃的。你吃不吃？ | I’ll go find something to eat. You want anything? | I’ll go find something to eat. Do you want anything? | Grammar | “You want anything?” is colloquial but slightly incomplete. “Do you want anything?” is more grammatically complete. |

| 戚林心里也乱得很 | Qi Lin’s thoughts were in a mess too | Qi Lin’s mind was a mess too | Tone shift | “Thoughts were in a mess” is slightly awkward. “Mind was a mess” is more natural. |

| 他并不太想吃东西，抱着枕头含糊地说 | He didn’t really feel like eating, and he hugged his pillow and said vaguely | He didn’t really feel like eating, so he hugged his pillow and said vaguely | Grammar | “And he hugged” is awkward. “So he hugged” shows better causation. |

| 你快走 | Just go | Just go | Correct | “快走” means “go quickly” or “just go.” The translation is acceptable. |

| 他起初还小声说话担心吵到凡子 | He had been keeping his voice down at first, worried about waking Fan Zi | He had been keeping his voice down at first, worried about waking Fan Zi | Correct | No issue. |

| 后来想起来凡子连抽都抽不醒 | but then he remembered that Fan Zi couldn’t be roused even if you dragged him | but then he remembered that Fan Zi couldn’t be woken even if you tried to drag him awake | Tone shift | “Couldn’t be roused” is good but “couldn’t be woken” is more direct. “Even if you dragged him” is slightly awkward; “even if you tried to drag him awake” is clearer. Also, “抽” specifically means pulling/dragging, so the context of trying to wake someone by dragging is important. |

| 便也不再顾忌 | so he stopped worrying about it | so he stopped worrying about it | Correct | No issue. |

| 江亦深站起身穿上鞋不知去了哪里 | Jiang Yishen stood up, put on his shoes, and disappeared somewhere | Jiang Yishen stood up, put on his shoes, and went somewhere | Tone shift | “Disappeared somewhere” is slightly poetic. “Went somewhere” is more neutral and matches the source better. |

| 戚林抱着被子在被窝里挪了挪，钻到刚刚江亦深躺过的位置，很暖和，非常满意 | Qi Lin hugged the blanket and shifted around under the covers, burrowing into the spot where Jiang Yishen had just been lying. It was warm. Very satisfying | Qi Lin hugged the blanket and shifted around under the covers, burrowing into the spot where Jiang Yishen had just been lying. It was warm. Very satisfying | Correct | No issue. |

| 过了几分钟，戚林感受到有人隔着被子拍他 | A few minutes passed, and Qi Lin felt someone patting him through the blanket | A few minutes passed, and Qi Lin felt someone patting him through the blanket | Correct | No issue. |

| 冒出个脑袋才看到是江亦深 | He poked his head out and saw it was Jiang Yishen | He poked his head out and saw it was Jiang Yishen | Correct | No issue. |

| 手中拿着一碗泡面 | holding a bowl of instant noodles | holding a bowl of instant noodles | Correct | No issue. |

| 分你一半吧 | I’ll split it with you | I’ll split it with you | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林原本根本没有胃口，可此时看着那碗泡面，莫名勾起了馋，便也爬起来一起煮面条 | Qi Lin hadn’t had any appetite at all, but looking at that bowl of instant noodles now, he inexplicably felt a craving come on, so he climbed out of bed and they boiled the noodles together | Qi Lin had no appetite at all, but looking at that bowl of instant noodles now, he inexplicably felt a craving come on, so he climbed out of bed and they boiled the noodles together | Tone shift | “Hadn’t had any appetite” is slightly awkward. “Had no appetite” is more direct. |

| 外面的天仍是漆黑一片 | Outside, the sky was still pitch black | Outside, the sky was still pitch black | Correct | No issue. |

| 城市沉在睡眠中 | The city lay sunk in sleep | The city lay sunk in sleep | Correct | No issue. |

| 只有路灯还在坚守 | with only the streetlights still holding their posts | with only the streetlights still standing guard | Tone shift | “Holding their posts” is good but “standing guard” is slightly more poetic and captures “坚守” (steadfastly guard/stand firm) better. |

| 从落地窗可以看到对面学校里的几栋高楼 | Through the floor-to-ceiling window they could see several tall buildings inside the school across the road | Through the floor-to-ceiling window, they could see several tall buildings inside the school across the road | Grammar | Missing comma after “window.” |

| 此时只有零星几个小窗子还亮着灯 | at this hour only a scattering of small windows still had their lights on | at this hour, only a scattering of small windows still had their lights on | Grammar | Missing comma after “hour.” |

| 像是一场填色游戏 | like a coloring game someone hadn’t finished | like an unfinished coloring game | Tone shift | “Someone hadn’t finished” adds interpretation. The source is simpler: just “like a coloring game.” The translation adds “someone hadn’t finished” which is not in the source. Should be “like a coloring game” or “like a coloring book.” |

| 他们拉过椅子坐在窗边 | They pulled chairs over and sat by the window | They pulled chairs over and sat by the window | Correct | No issue. |

| 小阳台的气温明显比屋子里更低 | The temperature on the little balcony was noticeably lower than inside the room | The temperature on the little balcony was noticeably lower than inside the room | Correct | No issue. |

| 即便有暖气也挡不住顺着窗玻璃钻进来的冷意 | and even with the heating on it couldn’t stop the cold from seeping in along the glass | and even with the heating on, it couldn’t stop the cold from seeping in along the glass | Grammar | Missing comma after “on.” |

| 戚林托着下巴看着校门 | Qi Lin rested his chin in his hand and looked out at the school gate | Qi Lin rested his chin in his hand and looked out at the school gate | Correct | No issue. |

| 保安亭里亮着灯 | The security booth was lit up | The security booth was lit up | Correct | No issue. |

| 两条路灯线从校门内向外铺陈展开 | two lines of streetlights spread outward from inside the gate | two lines of streetlights spread outward from inside the gate | Correct | No issue. |

| 顺着马路两侧延伸，蔓延向遥远的地方 | running along both sides of the road and stretching away into the distance | running along both sides of the road and stretching away into the distance | Correct | No issue. |

| 十字口的红绿灯此时跳着黄灯 | The traffic light at the intersection was blinking yellow | The traffic light at the intersection was blinking yellow | Correct | No issue. |

| 时不时有车辆疾驰而过 | and every now and then a car sped past | and every now and then a car sped past | Correct | No issue. |

| 静谧而安宁 | Quiet and peaceful | Quiet and peaceful | Correct | No issue. |

| 他很少有机会在这个点观察入眠的城市 | He rarely had the chance to observe a sleeping city at this hour | He rarely had the chance to observe a sleeping city at this hour | Correct | No issue. |

| 熬夜的时候基本都守在小书桌前挑灯忙碌 | When he stayed up late he was basically always hunched over his little desk working by lamplight | When he stayed up late, he was basically always hunched over his little desk working by lamplight | Grammar | Missing comma after “late.” |

| 他的屋子楼层不高，也并没有机会看到其他楼宇 | and his room wasn’t on a high floor, so he never had a view of other buildings | and his room wasn’t on a high floor, so he never had a view of other buildings | Correct | No issue. |

| 此时望着校园内高楼中亮灯的小屋，想原来是只缘身在此山中 | Looking now at the lit windows in the tall buildings on campus, he thought: so this is what it’s like to be inside the mountain and unable to see it for what it is | Looking now at the lit windows in the tall buildings on campus, he thought: so this is what it means to be inside the mountain and unable to see the mountain | Tone shift | The source alludes to a famous poem: “只缘身在此山中” (only because I am within this mountain). The translation’s “unable to see it for what it is” is awkward. “Unable to see the mountain” is clearer and more poetic, referencing the original poem better. |

| 你过得怎么样？ | How have you been? | How have you been? | Correct | No issue. |

| 江亦深突然问 | Jiang Yishen suddenly asked | Jiang Yishen suddenly asked | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林转头去看他 | Qi Lin turned to look at him | Qi Lin turned to look at him | Correct | No issue. |

| 江亦深靠在椅背上 | Jiang Yishen was leaning back in his chair | Jiang Yishen was leaning back in his chair | Correct | No issue. |

| 两条长腿随意舒展开 | his long legs stretched out casually | his long legs stretched out casually | Correct | No issue. |

| 瞧着懒散又松弛，是他很久没见过的模样 | looking loose and unhurried, a way Qi Lin hadn’t seen him in a long time | looking loose and relaxed, a way Qi Lin hadn’t seen him in a long time | Tone shift | “Unhurried” is not quite right for “松弛” (relaxed/loose). “Relaxed” is better. |

| 他们重逢也有段时间了 | They had been reunited for a while now | They had been reunited for a while now | Correct | No issue. |

| 可这是他们第一次有坐在一起深入聊聊的机会 | but this was the first time they’d had a chance to sit together and really talk | but this was the first time they’d had a chance to sit together and really talk | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林看了他一会儿，直到江亦深偏过头与他对视也没有收回目光 | Qi Lin looked at him for a moment, and even when Jiang Yishen tilted his head and met his gaze, Qi Lin didn’t look away | Qi Lin looked at him for a moment, and even when Jiang Yishen turned his head and met his gaze, Qi Lin didn’t look away | Tone shift | “Tilted” is acceptable but “turned” is more literal to “偏过头” (turned his head). Minor. |

| 你想听什么样的答案？ | What kind of answer do you want to hear? | What kind of answer do you want to hear? | Correct | No issue. |

| 你想说什么我就听什么 | Whatever you want to say, I’ll listen | Whatever you want to say, I’ll listen | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林觉得窗边有些冷 | Qi Lin felt the window was a bit cold | Qi Lin felt the window area was a bit cold | Tone shift | “The window was a bit cold” is slightly awkward. “The window area was a bit cold” or “it was a bit cold by the window” is more natural. |

| 他把衣服扯高一些 | He pulled his clothes up higher | He pulled his clothes up higher | Correct | No issue. |

| 说：过得不太好 | and said, “Not very well.” | and said, “Not very well.” | Correct | No issue. |

| 我也过得不太好 | I haven’t been very well either | I haven’t been very well either | Correct | No issue. |

| 叔叔阿姨怎么样？ | How are your parents? | How are your parents? | Correct | No issue. |

| 还可以，我爸跟老朋友去干车队了 | They’re alright. My dad joined a trucking crew with some old friends | They’re alright. My dad joined a trucking crew with some old friends | Correct | No issue. |

| 就在市内跑 | running routes within the city | running routes within the city | Correct | No issue. |

| 不是很辛苦 | not too hard on him | not too hard on him | Correct | No issue. |

| 拿的少点就少点吧 | Making a bit less money, but that’s fine | Making a bit less money, but that’s fine | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林低头去看，脚下的地毯边缘翘着毛边 | Qi Lin looked down at the carpet, where the edge was fraying | Qi Lin looked down. The carpet edge below him had frayed edges | Tone shift | The original is more poetic: he looks down and observes the carpet. The translation’s “where” makes it too explanatory. “Qi Lin looked down. The carpet’s edge was fraying” is closer. |

| 江亦深想了会儿，又问 | Jiang Yishen thought for a moment, then asked | Jiang Yishen thought for a moment, then asked | Correct | No issue. |

| 如果考上其他城市，你就搬走了吧？ | If you get into a school in another city, you’ll move away, right? | If you get into a school in another city, you’ll move away, right? | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林没有回答这个问题 | Qi Lin didn’t answer that question | Qi Lin didn’t answer that question | Correct | No issue. |

| 现在租房的钱是他自己大学几年省下来的生活费和奖学金 | The money he was using for rent now was the living allowance and scholarship money he had saved up over his years in university | The money he was using for rent now was the living allowance and scholarship money he had saved up over his years in university | Correct | No issue. |

| 原先的计划是找个工作边赚钱边考 | His original plan had been to find a job and study for the exam at the same time while earning money | His original plan had been to find a job and study for the exam at the same time while earning money | Correct | No issue. |

| 后来发现二者实际很难兼顾 | but he’d found the two were actually very hard to balance | but he’d found the two were actually very hard to balance | Correct | No issue. |

| 他便把工作辞了 | so he had quit the job | so he had quit the job | Correct | No issue. |

| 只是没有告诉家里人 | only without telling his family | only without telling his family | Correct | No issue. |

| 出柜后的这小半年，他很少和家人联系了 | In the roughly half a year since coming out, he had barely been in contact with his family | In the roughly half a year since coming out, he had barely been in contact with his family | Correct | No issue. |

| 江亦深已经问得很委婉 | Jiang Yishen had phrased it very tactfully | Jiang Yishen had phrased it very tactfully | Correct | No issue. |

| 戚林知道他其实想问，如果没有考上，该怎么办？ | Qi Lin knew what he was really asking: if you don’t get in, what then? | Qi Lin knew what he was really asking: if you don’t get in, what then? | Correct | No issue. |

| 该怎么办呢？ | What then? | What then? | Correct | No issue. |

| 其实也不会怎么办 | Actually, nothing much would happen | Actually, nothing much would happen | Correct | No issue. |

| 日子还得过，饭照吃觉照睡 | Life would go on, he’d still eat and sleep | Life would go on, he’d still eat and sleep | Correct | No issue. |

| 世界不会因为他没有找到工作而停转 | the world wouldn’t stop turning just because he hadn’t found a job | the world wouldn’t stop turning just because he hadn’t found a job | Correct | No issue. |

| 只会因为他们没有接吻而循环 | It would only keep looping