WC ⋆ Chapter 21

# ISSUE LOG

## 1. Character Name Inconsistency: 凡子 vs Fan Zi vs Lu Fan

– **Chinese source:** 凡子, 路凡

– **Original English:** Fan Zi, Lu Fan

– **Corrected version:** Fan Zi (consistently)

– **Issue type:** Naming inconsistency

– **Explanation:** The character is introduced as 凡子 (Fan Zi) but later referred to as 路凡 (Lu Fan). The English translation uses both “Fan Zi” and “Lu Fan” interchangeably. The source text uses 凡子 as the primary form throughout, with 路凡 appearing only once in dialogue. Should maintain consistency as “Fan Zi” or clarify that 路凡 is his full name with 凡子 as a nickname.

## 2. Missing Context: 戚林’s Full Name Introduction

– **Chinese source:** 小戚 (Xiao Qi)

– **Original English:** Xiao Qi

– **Corrected version:** Xiao Qi / Qi Lin (clarify relationship)

– **Issue type:** Naming inconsistency / context omission

– **Explanation:** The character is referred to as both “Qi Lin” and “Xiao Qi” in the translation. In Chinese, 小戚 is a diminutive form of 戚林. The translation should clarify this is the same person, or consistently use one form.

## 3. Mistranslation: “sleep paralysis” for 鬼压床

– **Chinese source:** 鬼压床

– **Original English:** sleep paralysis

– **Corrected version:** sleep paralysis (ghost pressing the bed)

– **Issue type:** Mistranslation / cultural nuance loss

– **Explanation:** While “sleep paralysis” is technically correct, 鬼压床 is a Chinese folk concept literally meaning “ghost pressing the bed,” which carries supernatural connotations beyond the medical term. The translation loses the supernatural/mystical tone that fits the context of discussing divination signs.

## 4. Awkward Phrasing: “dredged up”

– **Chinese source:** 生搬硬套出一个不会出错的话题

– **Original English:** dredged up a safe, foolproof topic

– **Corrected version:** forced out a safe, foolproof topic / mechanically produced a safe topic

– **Issue type:** Awkward phrasing / tone shift

– **Explanation:** “Dredged up” suggests pulling something from deep memory or effort, but 生搬硬套 means to rigidly apply or mechanically produce something. The tone should be more about forced/stiff production rather than retrieval.

## 5. Omission: Emotional Detail in Xu Baili’s Response

– **Chinese source:** 许白礼对他挤出一个笑

– **Original English:** Xu Baili forced a smile

– **Corrected version:** Xu Baili forced out a smile for him

– **Issue type:** Minor omission / tone nuance

– **Explanation:** The Chinese 对他 (toward him) emphasizes the action is directed at Jiang Yishen specifically, showing the deliberate effort to maintain politeness. The English version loses this relational nuance.

## 6. Mistranslation: “Teaching Building” vs 教学楼

– **Chinese source:** 教学楼

– **Original English:** Teaching Building

– **Corrected version:** Teaching Building (acceptable but could be “classroom building”)

– **Issue type:** Acceptable translation with minor variation

– **Explanation:** While “Teaching Building” is correct, 教学楼 more literally means “classroom building” or “academic building.” However, the translation is acceptable in context.

## 7. Omission: Yin Yu’s Deliberate Observation

– **Chinese source:** 再次认真且不算礼貌地打量了一遍戚林

– **Original English:** once again studied Qi Lin seriously and not entirely politely

– **Corrected version:** once again studied Qi Lin seriously and rather impolitely

– **Issue type:** Tone shift / awkward phrasing

– **Explanation:** “Not entirely politely” is awkward; the Chinese 不算礼貌 means “not particularly polite” or “rather impolite.” The original phrasing is unnecessarily circumlocutory.

## 8. Omission: Yin Yu’s Hesitation

– **Chinese source:** 欲言又止

– **Original English:** seeming to hesitate

– **Corrected version:** seeming to hesitate (about to speak but stopping himself)

– **Issue type:** Minor omission / characterization

– **Explanation:** The Chinese 欲言又止 specifically means “wanting to speak but stopping oneself,” which carries more weight than just “hesitate.” This shows Yin Yu’s internal conflict about what to reveal.

## 9. Mistranslation: “Red thread” Symbolism

– **Chinese source:** 红线

– **Original English:** red thread

– **Corrected version:** red thread (fate/destiny thread)

– **Issue type:** Cultural context omission

– **Explanation:** In Chinese tradition, a red thread (红线) represents fate and romantic destiny, often called the “red thread of fate.” The translation doesn’t convey this cultural significance, making Yin Yu’s observation seem less meaningful.

## 10. Awkward Phrasing: “hard to say”

– **Chinese source:** 说不准啊

– **Original English:** Hard to say

– **Corrected version:** Can’t say for sure / It’s hard to say

– **Issue type:** Tone shift / colloquial register

– **Explanation:** 说不准啊 is more colloquial and uncertain than “Hard to say.” The particle 啊 adds a casual, somewhat dismissive tone that should be preserved.

## 11. Mistranslation: “Reincarnation Cycle”

– **Chinese source:** 轮回

– **Original English:** Reincarnation Cycle

– **Corrected version:** Cycle / Reincarnation

– **Issue type:** Mistranslation / terminology

– **Explanation:** 轮回 means “cycle” or “reincarnation” but in this context refers to being trapped in a repeating cycle, not necessarily reincarnation in the Buddhist sense. The translation should emphasize the cyclical nature more than reincarnation.

## 12. Omission: Yin Yu’s Casual Vulgarity

– **Chinese source:** 哎呦我操

– **Original English:** Oh damn

– **Corrected version:** Oh damn / Oh fuck

– **Issue type:** Tone shift / vulgarity level

– **Explanation:** 哎呦我操 is stronger vulgarity in Chinese (literally “oh I fuck”), and “Oh damn” softens it. The original conveys more shock and crude surprise. However, “Oh damn” is acceptable for a YA audience.

## 13. Missing Nuance: Qi Lin’s Reluctance

– **Chinese source:** 咬着牙，很不愿承认

– **Original English:** said through gritted teeth, very reluctant to admit it

– **Corrected version:** said through gritted teeth, very unwilling to admit it

– **Issue type:** Tone / phrasing

– **Explanation:** “Very reluctant to admit” is slightly softer than 很不愿承认 (very unwilling/resistant to admitting). The Chinese emphasizes resistance and unwillingness more strongly.

## 14. Awkward Phrasing: “squeeze out a sentence”

– **Chinese source:** 从唇齿间挤出一句话

– **Original English:** squeezed out a sentence from between his teeth

– **Corrected version:** squeezed out a sentence from between his lips

– **Issue type:** Awkward phrasing / imagery

– **Explanation:** “From between his teeth” is awkward; the Chinese 从唇齿间 means “from between his lips/teeth” but the English phrasing is clunky. “From between his lips” flows better while maintaining the physical imagery.

## 15. Omission: Yin Yu’s Observation About the Red Thread

– **Chinese source:** 我看你身上的红线比上次少了呢

– **Original English:** I notice the red thread on you is fewer than last time

– **Corrected version:** I notice the red thread on you is less than last time

– **Issue type:** Grammar / awkward phrasing

– **Explanation:** “Fewer” is grammatically incorrect for a singular noun (thread). Should be “less” or “fainter” or “thinner.” The Chinese 少 can mean “less” or “fewer,” but with a singular object, “less” is more appropriate.

## 16. Missing Dialogue Tag Clarity

– **Chinese source:** “我也没有想到会这样。”

– **Original English:** “I didn’t expect it to turn out like this either.”

– **Corrected version:** “I didn’t expect it would turn out like this either.”

– **Issue type:** Grammar / slight awkwardness

– **Explanation:** Minor grammatical refinement for smoother flow.

## 17. Omission: Yin Yu’s Gesture

– **Chinese source:** 捻了捻指腹的烟灰

– **Original English:** rubbed the ash from his fingertips

– **Corrected version:** rubbed the ash between his fingertips / pinched the ash from his fingertips

– **Issue type:** Mistranslation / physical action

– **Explanation:** 捻 means to pinch or roll between fingers, not just rub. 指腹 means the pad/ball of the finger. The action is more specific than “rubbed.”

## 18. Omission: Yin Yu’s Concern

– **Chinese source:** 转头见戚林脸色实在难看，便拢了拢领口

– **Original English:** He turned and saw that Qi Lin’s expression was genuinely terrible, so he pulled his collar tighter

– **Corrected version:** He turned and saw that Qi Lin’s expression was genuinely terrible, so he pulled his collar tighter (around himself)

– **Issue type:** Minor clarification

– **Explanation:** The action of pulling the collar tighter suggests Yin Yu is reacting to the emotional weight of the moment, possibly with discomfort or concern. This could be clarified slightly.

## 19. Tone Shift: Yin Yu’s Final Statement

– **Chinese source:** 我们聊聊

– **Original English:** We need to talk

– **Corrected version:** Let’s talk / We should talk

– **Issue type:** Tone shift / register

– **Explanation:** “We need to talk” carries a confrontational tone in English, while 我们聊聊 is gentler and more collaborative. The original is less accusatory.

## 20. Inconsistent Dialogue Attribution

– **Chinese source:** Multiple instances of dialogue without clear speaker attribution

– **Original English:** Generally clear but could be tightened

– **Corrected version:** Maintain consistent attribution

– **Issue type:** Clarity / formatting

– **Explanation:** The translation generally handles this well, but some dialogue flows could be clearer with slight restructuring.

## 21. Missing Emotional Nuance: Jiang Yishen’s Desperation

– **Chinese source:** 看着很可怜

– **Original English:** looking rather pitiful

– **Corrected version:** looking quite pitiful / looking pathetic

– **Issue type:** Tone / characterization

– **Explanation:** 可怜 can mean pitiful, pitiable, or even pathetic. In this context, it emphasizes Jiang Yishen’s desperation and vulnerability. “Rather pitiful” softens this slightly.

## 22. Omission: Sensory Detail

– **Chinese source:** 羽绒服摩擦的噪音在此时变得格外刺耳

– **Original English:** the scraping sound of his down jacket rubbing against them was unusually grating

– **Corrected version:** the scraping sound of his down jacket rubbing against the books became especially grating / piercing

– **Issue type:** Minor word choice

– **Explanation:** 格外刺耳 means “especially piercing/grating.” “Unusually grating” is acceptable but 格外 suggests it stands out sharply in that moment, not just unusually.

## 23. Mistranslation: 循环 (Loop/Cycle)

– **Chinese source:** 循环

– **Original English:** loop (mostly correct, but inconsistency with “Reincarnation Cycle”)

– **Corrected version:** loop (maintain consistency)

– **Issue type:** Terminology consistency

– **Explanation:** The translation uses “loop” correctly for 循环, but earlier used “Reincarnation Cycle” for 轮回. These are related but distinct concepts and should be clearly differentiated.

## 24. Omission: Jiang Yishen’s Internal Conflict

– **Chinese source:** 承认自己被鬼迷了心窍

– **Original English:** admitted to himself that something had possessed him

– **Corrected version:** admitted to himself that he had been bewitched / possessed by something

– **Issue type:** Tone / cultural reference

– **Explanation:** 被鬼迷了心窍 literally means “bewitched by a ghost” or “possessed by a ghost,” carrying supernatural connotations. “Something had possessed him” is more neutral and loses the supernatural flavor that fits the story’s tone.

## 25. Awkward Construction: “from a distance that was neither close nor far”

– **Chinese source:** 不远不近地看着他

– **Original English:** watching him from a distance that was neither close nor far

– **Corrected version:** watching him from a distance that was neither close nor far / watching him from an ambiguous distance

– **Issue type:** Awkward phrasing

– **Explanation:** The construction is technically correct but clunky. Could be simplified to “watching him from neither close nor far away” or similar.

—

# AMENDED TRANSLATION

Fan Zi being hospitalized threw Jiang Yishen’s mind into chaos, and he kept losing focus throughout the entire exam. The questions weren’t particularly hard, but he answered them very slowly.

In the last half hour, students began turning in their papers one after another. Jiang Yishen couldn’t settle his heart, and he dawdled until the very end of the exam before handing in his paper and leaving.

His thoughts were a complete mess.

At first he had naively assumed that events were conserved, that they couldn’t change anything. But then, after calming down, he felt that wasn’t right either. A car accident wasn’t exactly a special event. If his dad going to the hospital and his mom treating people to dinner could both be changed, there was no reason a car accident couldn’t be.

And Fan Zi’s hospitalization this time was in a different place and for a different reason than the last time. He distilled and summarized everything, and kept feeling that what couldn’t be changed wasn’t the “car accident” itself.

It seemed to be “meeting the girl in the neighboring bed.”

The more Jiang Yishen thought about it, the more unsettled he felt. These things wouldn’t leave his head, and he had to force himself to concentrate on answering the questions at the same time. Those few short hours left him utterly exhausted.

When the exam ended, only half the students remained in the hall. He walked out the door, slung his bag over one shoulder, and hurried toward the exit. He pulled out his phone to call Qi Lin, but as he turned a corner he caught sight of a familiar figure.

Xu Baili was doing his first year of graduate school at this university, in a different college, so they rarely ran into each other. Yet today, of all days, they met.

Seeing each other, both of them were at a loss for a moment. Although they were on friendly enough terms to eat together regularly, if you worked it out carefully, Xu Baili was on Qi Lin’s side of things. After the breakup, Jiang Yishen had little contact with him, only seeing him at large group dinners.

Xu Baili was introverted by nature, and his instinct was to turn his head and pretend he hadn’t seen him. But that felt far too deliberate, so he forced his gaze back and made small talk. “Long time no see. I left something in this classroom during self-study yesterday and came back to look for it.”

“Long time no see.” Jiang Yishen forced out a safe, foolproof topic. “Still doing self-study, huh. Chinese New Year’s coming up. When do you grad students get your break?”

“A little later than you guys.” Xu Baili gave him a polite smile and returned the question out of courtesy. “What about you, going home for the holiday?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jiang Yishen admitted to himself that he had been bewitched by something, because he had no idea why he said what he said next. Maybe it was a subconscious desire to put in a good word in front of Qi Lin’s friend. Either way, he said, “I’ll probably go stay at Qi Lin’s place for a few days.”

His intention was simple enough. The loop meant they couldn’t be apart from each other for more than 24 hours. The two of them were fated to be unable to live in separate places, and he couldn’t keep having Qi Lin stay here with him. He would have to accompany Qi Lin home eventually.

But Xu Baili froze for a moment and asked reflexively, “Go home? Did you two get back together?”

Jiang Yishen frowned slightly. “Not yet.”

“Then how is he going back…” Xu Baili stopped himself abruptly mid-sentence.

Jiang Yishen caught the oddness in that instant and immediately pressed him. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Xu Baili forced out a smile for him and turned to leave at once, but Jiang Yishen grabbed his arm firmly, with enough force that Xu Baili nearly lost his footing.

Jiang Yishen realized he had lost his composure. He let go, but didn’t step aside to clear the path. Urgency and worry rose from the bottom of his chest. “What happened to him? Is he not going home?”

Behind them, students came and went in a steady stream. The classroom building, now that the exam was over, had returned to its usual noise. The door at the far end of the corridor opened and closed, and cold gusts of wind blew through, chilling people to the bone.

Xu Baili held a stack of books in his arms. He looked at Jiang Yishen for a long moment, then turned his head away. After a while he said, “I’m his friend. The things he doesn’t want to tell you, I don’t want to say without his permission.”

Those words made Jiang Yishen’s heart plunge. Pointing out the problem so plainly was harder to bear than if he had brushed it off.

“I won’t tell him it was you who said it.” Jiang Yishen said quietly, trying to hold him back, looking quite pitiful.

Xu Baili felt a pang of reluctance. He shifted the books higher in his arms, and the scraping sound of his down jacket rubbing against them became especially grating at that moment.

“I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to say it. It’s that he doesn’t want it said, so I can’t say it. When Xiao Qi asked me about you dropping out of the grad school entrance exam, I didn’t tell him either. You two should talk to each other more.”

He finished speaking, saw Jiang Yishen standing in silence with his eyes lowered, and squeezed past him through the gap to one side. He walked into the classroom alone and rummaged near the lectern for the thing he had left behind.

It was a pair of Bluetooth earphones. During the cleanup of the exam hall they had been swept up with other miscellaneous items and set on the lectern. He fished them out and had just put them in his pocket when he saw Jiang Yishen walk into the classroom and lean against the front row of desks, watching him from neither close nor far away.

“Tell me.” Jiang Yishen said. “He might not actually want me not to know. He just doesn’t want to be the one to tell me himself. As for my own things, it’s not that I was trying to hide them from him. I just couldn’t bring myself to say them out loud.”

—

“I never hid anything from you guys!” Fan Zi loudly argued in his own defense. “I’m just asking, when exactly did I have time to notify you two? By the time I woke up you’d already left, abandoned me alone in the hotel, and I was the one who paid for the room! Oh, but the hotel gave me a forty percent discount. Why is that?”

Qi Lin chose to ignore that question. “First tell me exactly how you got hit!”

“Oh, right, so I paid and then went out the door! There’s that intersection, right? I was crossing the street toward the school gate, and I totally didn’t notice the light had turned green for cross traffic. I just walked straight toward the school gate, and then I didn’t see the electric bike, and it sent me flying!”

Fan Zi grew more and more agitated as he spoke, slapping the bed sheet with his hand.

“Sorry about that.” The girl in the neighboring bed rubbed her head. “I was turning directly into the school, and he happened to be right in front of me. There were vehicles on both sides of me, I couldn’t swerve, so I hit him.”

The vein at Qi Lin’s temple throbbed. He found the whole situation bizarrely strange, yet he couldn’t find anything wrong with it. Everything was perfectly logical, and you could even say he had brought it about himself.

Fan Zi saw his troubled expression and assumed he was blaming himself for leaving the hotel without a word that morning, so he offered comfort. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t blame yourselves. I crossed the road on my own.”

Qi Lin thought to himself, were you expecting to blame us? But he truly had no energy left to make a sarcastic remark. He glanced sideways at the leather jacket guy keeping watch nearby and found the other person was also looking at him, with no telling how long he had been staring.

“Oh, you two have met. I didn’t have time to introduce you back then. This is my friend. You can call him Yin Yu.” Fan Zi laboriously turned over in bed and pointed at the leather jacket guy.

Qi Lin studied him.

Yin Yu’s eyes were very unusual. In the dark of night they hadn’t been clearly visible, but now in the sunlight one could tell his irises were amber, and if you stared at them long enough they looked like a whirlpool.

“Hello.” Yin Yu gave a light blink, and that whirlpool-like depth vanished, replaced by a spring of clear, transparent water. “Didn’t expect to see you again.”

Qi Lin sensed there was more to his words and said nothing.

Yin Yu was not embarrassed by the silence and continued, “Your ex isn’t here today. May I add your contact?”

“Huh?” Fan Zi was startled. He wanted to smooth things over but found that Qi Lin’s expression was off too.

Yin Yu’s smile was perfectly innocent and harmless. Qi Lin suddenly felt his heartbeat quicken in an abnormal way. He swallowed lightly and stepped back half a pace. “Let’s step aside for a moment.”

The door opened at his words. Yin Yu followed him out one after the other, but Qi Lin stopped at the doorway while Yin Yu walked straight past him toward the elevators. “Want to have a smoke. Do you mind?”

Qi Lin gave his tacit consent. The two of them quietly descended to the smoking area. The smell of nicotine in the air wound itself into their hair, making the whole body feel uncomfortable.

He watched Yin Yu pull a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, tap one out, and hold it out in Qi Lin’s direction.

“I don’t smoke.” Qi Lin said. “Just say what you have to say.”

Yin Yu lowered his head, put the cigarette between his lips, and squeezed out a sentence from between his teeth. “You have a divination sign on you. Did you know?”

Qi Lin had anticipated hearing something unexpected, but not a conclusion this blunt and certain. He was startled, and without realizing it his attitude toward Yin Yu softened, even carrying an anxiety he himself wasn’t aware of. “I know.”

“Oh?” Yin Yu raised an eyebrow. The flame lit the cigarette, but he held it without smoking, and once again studied Qi Lin seriously and rather impolitely.

“What else can you see?” Qi Lin asked.

“Oh, nothing else.” Only then did Yin Yu put the cigarette back in his mouth. “You can tell me about it and I’ll read a sign for you.”

Qi Lin leaned against the edge of the flower bed, exhaled a puff of white breath, and said lightly, “This is the second time I’ve seen you.”

“I know. The first time was at Blues Home.”

Qi Lin shook his head. “Counting Blues Home, this is the second time I’ve seen you.”

Yin Yu didn’t look surprised. “Oh, that matches the cycle on you. A repeating cycle.”

“Doesn’t that mean you can see it?” Qi Lin clicked his tongue.

Yin Yu spread his hands. “A repeating cycle takes many forms. Dreams, hallucinations, sleep paralysis. Look at Fan Zi, he had his whole life flash before his eyes when the car knocked him down.”

“That serious!” Qi Lin was alarmed.

“He said so himself.” Yin Yu blew out a smoke ring and reached out to disperse it with his hand.

At that moment Qi Lin felt no cold wind at all. His whole body was hot. He suppressed the urgency in his chest and asked patiently, “Can the loop be broken?”

“Can’t say for sure.” Yin Yu glanced at him. “This is a wish you made yourself. The loop won’t break as long as the wish isn’t fulfilled. Don’t you want this wish to come true?”

“This wish isn’t easy to fulfill.” Qi Lin said through gritted teeth, very unwilling to admit it.

Yin Yu made a welcoming gesture. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s about feelings.” Qi Lin only gave the bare surface of it.

“Getting back together, huh.” Yin Yu stroked his chin. “No wonder. I can see a sign on your ex too, though it’s very faint. It’s a red thread, wrapped around his neck.”

Qi Lin felt a chill at that. “If the wish is never fulfilled, will this loop go on forever?”

“From a dialectical standpoint, there is no wish in the world that cannot be fulfilled.” Yin Yu said, then glanced at him again, seeming to hesitate about what to say, and finally said, “You’d better tell me about it. I notice the red thread on you is less than last time.”

His words made Qi Lin’s hands and feet go cold in an instant. The urgency from a moment ago receded, leaving only confusion and worry.

There was no point in hiding it any further at this stage. He didn’t think Yin Yu seemed like a fraud, so he told the truth. “The wish was to always be together no matter what, in life or in death. Once it starts, it doesn’t end.”

“Oh damn.” Yin Yu flicked the cigarette. “That’s a bit too…”

Qi Lin covered his face with his palm and rubbed hard. “I didn’t expect it would turn out like this either.”

Yin Yu fell unusually silent for a while. By the time one cigarette had burned down, he pinched the ash from his fingertips and pressed the stub out in the ashtray. “I have to tell you: the red thread decreasing is a sign that the loop is about to end. You said this wish isn’t easy to fulfill, meaning you haven’t gotten back together yet. But now the red thread has decreased.”

“What does that mean?”

Yin Yu rubbed the ash between his fingertips. “Not sure. Maybe he doesn’t want the loop anymore, or maybe he doesn’t want to get back together anymore. Either way, I’d advise you to go talk to him soon. Your wish is ambiguous. It’s a bit tricky.”

Qi Lin felt as though a basin of cold water had been dumped over his head. His mind couldn’t process that sentence for a moment, and he only said blankly, “Why is it tricky?”

It was only at this point that Yin Yu heard something off. He turned and saw that Qi Lin’s expression was genuinely terrible, so he pulled his collar tighter. “Let’s find somewhere to sit. We should talk.”