SA | Chapter 1

First Encounter in the Arctic

To avoid a moose crossing the road, Gu Deng drove himself and the car straight into the snow. Fortunately, he was not injured, only the engine stalled.

In March, blizzards raged along Alaska’s Dalton Highway. The temperature outside could drop to minus thirty degrees Celsius, and there was no signal at all. Only the radio could be used to communicate with nearby drivers. More than ten minutes after Gu Deng sent out a distress signal, there was still no reply on the channel.

Ice began to form on the car windows. Gu Deng exhaled a cold breath and dug an outdoor down jacket out of his backpack and put it on.

Still, no one responded.

Outside the window, snow billowed everywhere, and an Arctic storm was forming.

Only now did Gu Deng have to admit that driving the Dalton Highway by himself really had been too reckless. He often made rash decisions during hypomanic episodes, then regretted them once he returned to normal.

At first, he had only come to Alaska to go whale-watching, but whale-watching tours would not open until April at the earliest. He had arrived a full half month too early, so he decided to drive to the Arctic.

The people at the rental company had tried to talk him out of going alone, saying the Dalton Highway had a harsh environment and was one of the most dangerous roads in the world. Unfortunately, Gu Deng had not cared at all. At the time, he had been full of confidence, craving adventure, feeling as though he could do anything, a typical early sign of hypomania.

He should have become alert, contacted his attending physician and the friends or family he trusted, handed over the car keys, and stopped making any major decisions.

But Gu Deng tore up his mania prevention contract, went to an outdoor brand store to buy extreme-cold shell gear, filled two fuel cans, packed up three days’ worth of food from the supermarket, and happily drove the car onto the death road.

He was sick of the repeated swings in his emotions, and tired of constantly managing them. He wanted the freedom to cry and laugh as wildly as he pleased, instead of having to make time every time his emotions fluctuated to write that damned mood diary!

As he drove north along the Dalton Highway, listening to his travel playlist and looking at the increasingly barren wilderness, Gu Deng felt a kind of happiness and freedom he had never known before.

That happiness lasted only two hours, and then his car broke down in the middle of nowhere.

There was still no reply on the channel, and Gu Deng was already tired of describing his accident over and over again. More importantly, he suddenly could not quite remember whether a moose had really crossed the road back then.

But if there had been no moose, how could he have gotten into an accident? But if there had been a moose, why could he not find a single hoofprint?

Gu Deng swallowed a lamotrigine tablet, intending to calm himself down. But the medicine did not seem to have worked, because he decided to get out of the car and look for the moose’s tracks.

He walked alone through the snowfield. The heavy snow had blurred the traces of both highway and tundra. Only two rows of narrow road markers showed the way, as though this were a scene from the end of the world.

Looking at this, Gu Deng suddenly felt a strange surge of emotion and peace. He thought that dying here did not seem like much of a pity.

And yet things did not go as he wished. A rumble suddenly came from ahead, yellow light pierced through the wind and snow, and a modified Ford Raptor slowly approached. The window rolled down, revealing the driver’s tall figure.

“Was it you who sent the distress message?”

He was a very handsome Asian man. His English had no accent, and Gu Deng could not tell what nationality he was.

“It was me.” The pickup was too tall, so Gu Deng had to tip his head back as he spoke. “My car broke down. Could you give me a ride?”

“Where are you going?”

“Deadhorse.”

“I’m only going as far as Coldfoot.”

“That works too.”

The man then opened the door. Gu Deng thanked him first, then asked if he could go back to get his luggage. The man said nothing, only got out and went with him.

Gu Deng did not have much luggage, but there were still two fuel cans in the trunk. They were too heavy, and Gu Deng failed to lift one at the first try. He was about to try again when a large hand reached over and took hold of the handle. Carrying one fuel can in each hand, the man lowered his eyes and asked, “Anything else?”

“No.” Gu Deng said.

The man turned and walked back. He had the kind of muscles anyone would envy, and even carrying two fuel cans through the snow, he moved as though walking on flat ground.

Gu Deng followed behind him with his suitcase and said, “Thank you very much for helping me. My name is Gu Deng. May I ask how I should address you?”

“Zhang Li.”

“Chinese?”

“Yes.”

“Ah…!” Gu Deng happily switched to Chinese, but then his mood immediately fell. “You don’t know who I am?”

“I do.” Zhang Li answered in Chinese.

“That scared me.” Only then did Gu Deng smile. “I was a little upset just now.”

“Sorry,” Zhang Li said.

“I’m joking.” Gu Deng shook his head, his tone sincere. “And actually, I’m the one who should be apologizing. It’s a good thing I ran into you, otherwise I really wouldn’t know what to do.”

Zhang Li shook his head, as though he was already used to enthusiastic thanks from strangers. He put the fuel cans into the pickup bed, and Gu Deng put away his luggage and sat in the front passenger seat.

Looking at the vast wind and snow ahead, Gu Deng suddenly asked, “Did you see the moose’s tracks?”

“What tracks?”

“I got into the accident because I hit a moose, but now I can’t find its tracks.”

Zhang Li raised his eyes and looked ahead. There were only two crooked tire ruts. He said, “Maybe they were covered by snow.”

“Oh.” Gu Deng seemed persuaded by this explanation and let out a breath of relief.

The two continued on their way. The heater inside the car was strong, and Gu Deng felt a little hot, so he took off his down jacket and draped it over his knees. Zhang Li remained silent. Aside from that brief exchange at the start, he did not speak again.

Gu Deng could not quite hold it in anymore and asked, “Can we listen to music?”

Zhang Li nodded, so Gu Deng connected to the Bluetooth. Light, cheerful music spread through the cabin, and he swayed along to it, looking as though he were in very good spirits.

After a while, Gu Deng asked again, “I’m a little hungry. Can I eat in the car?”

After getting permission, Gu Deng leaned into the back seat and opened his backpack, took out two sandwiches, unwrapped one, and handed it over. “Do you want one?”

Zhang Li said no, so Gu Deng ate by himself. He cupped the sandwich in both hands and made almost no chewing sound. After finishing, he stuffed the wrapper back into his bag, then pulled out a palm-sized notebook and started writing.

At that point, Gu Deng suddenly became very quiet. This kind of quietness was exclusive, as though he had completely sunk into his own world.

Only when Zhang Li stopped the car and called his name did Gu Deng pull himself back out of that world. He lifted his head, somewhat blankly. “What’s wrong?”

Zhang Li said there was a car ahead that had skidded, and he was going to get out and check the situation. Gu Deng glanced at the GPS and only then realized they had already reached Finger Mountain. This place was already close to the Arctic, and on top of that it was a long uphill stretch. Because the mountain stood isolated, strong crosswinds blew here in winter, and together with drifting snow burying the road, accidents happened very easily.

The vehicle ahead had gotten stuck in the snow. For now, it only looked as though its path had drifted slightly off course, with no sign that it had rolled over.

Zhang Li exchanged a few simple words with the driver, hooked up the winch, and began pulling the trapped vehicle out. He seemed already very used to scenes like this. He handled the entire process skillfully and with ease.

The vehicle was successfully freed. The driver got out and thanked them one after another, and even insisted on giving Zhang Li an antler as a token of thanks. Zhang Li refused several times.

Gu Deng was still enjoying the excitement when, unexpectedly, a woman got out and walked toward him.

She was holding a bundled-up lump in her arms. Gu Deng said righteously that there was no need. Unexpectedly, the woman lifted the hat, revealing a pair of big blinking eyes.

Gu Deng was completely stunned, and the woman smiled and said, “Baby wanted to thank you personally.”

“Ah?” Gu Deng said blankly. “How?”

“Gege, hand.” The little child had only just learned to speak, and her words were not clear.

Still a little bewildered, Gu Deng held out his hand. The little girl waved her arm and dropped two candies into his palm.

The experience was a little novel. Gu Deng pinched the little girl’s glove and said thank you with a smile.

But the little girl became anxious. Gege’s hand was so big, and the candy she had given him was far too little!

So she shoved her hand back into her pocket and fumbled around, grabbing blindly in her gloves. Not only did she fail to grab more candy, she knocked all the candy into the snow instead. The child got even more anxious and struggled to get down to pick it up. Her mother almost failed to catch her.

How could Gu Deng let the child really land on the ground? The wind outside was so strong, and the child was so tiny, she might very well be blown away in an instant. Gu Deng got out of the car, picked up the candies, and very politely escorted the mother and daughter back.

The father had met with complete defeat at Zhang Li’s side and came back carrying the antler with a face full of regret. The moment he saw Gu Deng, his eyes lit up again, and he came running toward him with the antler held up high, frightening Gu Deng so badly that he turned and ran.

“That scared me to death, I almost didn’t get away.” Gu Deng sat back down in the front passenger seat, then asked curiously, “But was that a real antler?”

Zhang Li said yes.

“Oh.” Gu Deng answered, suddenly becoming a little quiet.

The other vehicle got back onto the road, and Zhang Li drove slowly behind it. Only after the family safely made it over Finger Mountain did he pass them and continue forward.

The heavy snow dispersed, and sunlight once more lit up the polar conifer forest. A moose suddenly appeared in the tranquil forest. It lifted its head to eat branches and leaves from the trees, huge, gentle, and quiet, like something that could only appear in a dream. Gu Deng’s gaze followed it until the moose disappeared completely from sight.

“Did you see that moose?” Gu Deng asked.

“I didn’t.”

“Sorry, I should’ve told you earlier.”

“It’s okay.”

“Next time I see one, I’ll tell you in advance.”

“Mm.”

The pickup drove north along the oil pipeline. Gu Deng unwrapped a candy and popped it into his mouth. Sweet and sour, with a strong grape flavor.

He unwrapped one for Zhang Li too, but Zhang Li did not take it.

“Eat it.” Gu Deng said, “It’s a thank-you gift the little girl specially gave you.”

So Zhang Li took the candy and ate it. He actually looked a little stern, and his tall, powerfully built frame was also imposing, but with one cheek puffed out slightly by the candy, he somehow looked a little dazed.

After Finger Mountain, another twenty kilometers brought them to the Arctic Circle. Gu Deng got out and checked in with a photo, but honestly, he thought the attraction was extremely ordinary. Other than the sign that said Arctic Circle, there was no special scenery at all.

He actually liked the place where they stopped afterward more. By then, the sun was almost setting, and a broad stretch of pink and purple clouds had appeared in the sky. Zhang Li suddenly stopped the car and got out with his camera. The trees here were even shorter than the ones before, growing sparsely out of the snow, turning the earth into a fluffy little animal.

Zhang Li walked toward the forest, and Gu Deng got out and followed him. Carefully drawing closer, he finally saw the little creatures Zhang Li had wanted to photograph. They were tiny chickadees, almost no bigger than a palm, with fluffy feathers and jet-black caps, hopping up and down together in the woods and letting out crisp little calls from time to time.

They were very cute little things, and Gu Deng was drawn in by them, but Zhang Li lowered his camera and walked back without taking a single picture.

“Why aren’t you taking photos anymore?” Gu Deng asked, puzzled.

“I got them wrong.”

“What?”

Zhang Li zoomed in with the camera and had Gu Deng lean toward the viewfinder. “See the tops of these chickadees’ heads? Black.”

“Mm, I see them,” Gu Deng said.

Zhang Li continued, “I’m looking for a bird that looks very similar to them, called the Siberian tit. I mixed up their calls just now.”

“Oh, so that’s what it was.” Gu Deng nodded, then asked, “But why are you looking for that bird?”

Zhang Li put away the camera and explained, “The Siberian tit rarely appears in Alaska. I’m helping the ornithology lab at a local university collect data.”

“That sounds really interesting.” Gu Deng’s eyes lit up. “So you’re an ornithologist? Your job is studying birds out in the wild?”

“No,” Zhang Li said. “I’m a wildlife photographer.”

The sky was azure, and the snow powder lit by the setting sun glittered like diamonds. Dark shapes rose and fell across the snowfield, black-capped chickadees hopping among the branches.

Gu Deng looked full of longing. “Doing this kind of work must feel very happy, right?”

“It’s okay,” Zhang Li said.

“Can I record their sounds? Just ten minutes.”

Zhang Li said yes.

Gu Deng hurried back to the car to get his equipment. He had everything, microphone, recorder, monitor headphones, and he even put a sweater over the microphone. He had long wanted to record some ambient sounds, but since he had been riding in someone else’s car, he had never felt comfortable bringing it up.

Gu Deng carefully approached and pointed the microphone toward the chickadees. Their crisp calls came through the headphones in real time.

He had said ten minutes, and true enough, he did not go over at all. At the ninth minute, Gu Deng took off the headphones and returned to the car. Judging from the expression on his face, he had probably recorded something he was very satisfied with.

They reached Coldfoot by nightfall. This was the only town on the Dalton Highway. Most people stopped here to restock supplies and spend the night before going on to Deadhorse.

After Zhang Li parked, Gu Deng was still looking at his phone. He had headphones on and had not noticed the change in surroundings at all.

Bzzz, bzzz.

His phone sounded, and Zhang Li got out of the car to answer the call.

“Where are you?” Smith’s voice rang out.

“Parking lot.”

“Okay, I’ll come find you,” the man said again. “We can have dinner together while we’re at it.”

“We’ll see.”

“Then I’ll come get the stuff first.”

Zhang Li hung up the phone and found that Gu Deng had already taken off his headphones and was looking around at the surroundings somewhat blankly. Zhang Li got back into the car.

“Are we at Coldfoot?” Gu Deng asked.

“Mm.” Zhang Li raised a hand and pointed. “The hotel is over there.”

“Okay, thank you.” Gu Deng undid his seat belt and climbed into the back to get his luggage.

It was already completely dark. Pale green aurora flickered overhead, and a line of heavy trucks was parked all around, like a gathering of Transformers.

Gu Deng slung on his backpack. Zhang Li helped him carry the suitcase and the two fuel cans.

Gu Deng pulled up the suitcase handle and said, “You keep the fuel, just count it as gas money for the ride.”

“No need,” Zhang Li said.

Gu Deng started rummaging through his wallet. “Then I’ll give you cash.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Zhang Li said.

“Then take the fuel.” Gu Deng said, “If you don’t take it away, I won’t even know how to deal with it.”

Zhang Li was silent for a few seconds, then finally said okay.

Gu Deng waved his hand. “Then I’m heading off first.”

“Goodbye,” Zhang Li said.

But after saying that, Gu Deng did not actually leave. He pointed at the hotel behind him and asked, “Are you staying here tonight too?”

“I’m staying with a friend.”

“Oh.” Gu Deng looked a little disappointed. “Then we probably won’t see each other again.”

That was not an easy line to answer, so Zhang Li said nothing.

At the same time, Smith came over to get the equipment from him. Zhang Li handed the things over, but when he turned around, he found that Gu Deng was still here.

He was wearing a shell jacket with a strong sense of design, and retro monitor headphones on his head. Against the black outerwear, his extremely pale skin looked translucent and pure.

“Zhang, dinner together?” Smith’s voice rang out.

But Zhang Li walked straight toward Gu Deng, stopped in front of him, and asked, “Do you need something else?”

Gu Deng beckoned to him. “Lower your head a little.”

Zhang Li lowered his head, and Gu Deng set the headphones onto it.

The noise-canceling headphones instantly cut off all outside noise. Zhang Li looked up in slight confusion, then closed his eyes. He saw Gu Deng mouth the words, then press play.

Under the Alaskan night sky, the cold wind howled past. Zhang Li closed his eyes and quietly listened to the full two minutes. It was a gentle piano piece. The emotion was very light, tinged with loneliness, but there was also a faint touch of tenderness.

When the music ended, Zhang Li slowly opened his eyes.

He had deep-set features, a high nose bridge, and a strongly defined face. Together with how little he spoke, it gave people the impression that he was fierce and cold. But when he lowered his head and took off the headphones, there was an extra trace of gentleness in his gaze.

“You wrote this on the road?” He could hear the birdcalls and the sound of falling snow inside it.

“Mm.” Gu Deng asked, “Do you like it?”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll give it to you.”

Zhang Li froze for a moment. “Give it to me?”

“Yeah.” Gu Deng said, “I’ll send you the audio file. You can use it however you want.”

Leaving aside Gu Deng’s identity, even an ordinary composer would not casually give away something this precious.

They used the same model of phone, and Gu Deng sent the file over by AirDrop. Zhang Li still did not react.

Gu Deng waved. “Goodbye.”

Only then did Zhang Li lift his head. He opened his mouth to stop Gu Deng, and there was something else in his eyes now. “Why are you giving me this?”

“To thank you, but also to bribe you.” Gu Deng blinked at Zhang Li and said with a smile, “Please keep my whereabouts secret.”