SA | Chapter 23

Trying to Write a Song

On the way back, no one spoke. Gu Deng walked alone at the front, feeling awkward and uneasy after some self-reflection.

They continued to stay in the village. Zhang Li would occasionally fly out to film reindeer. As for Gu Deng, the novelty of being in a new place quickly wore off, and he became bored.

This village was particularly small, surrounded by desolation, and to make matters worse, there was no internet. Staying for a day felt like a retreat for the soul, but staying for more than three days felt like being exiled to Ningguta.

Gu Deng was born in an era of information overload and couldn’t get used to such tranquility. Living in the countryside for too long made him feel disconnected from the world.

But the lack of internet wasn’t the most unbearable part; the main issue was having nothing to do. When he and Zhang Li were hiking, there was no internet either, but they had things to do every day, and life felt fulfilling. But in this secluded village, he had plenty of time to waste.

Initially, Gu Deng tried to find things to do, but he couldn’t communicate with the locals and wasn’t very curious about their traditional lifestyle.

Judy and Ali were busy with Carly, and Gu Deng didn’t want to cling to Zhang Li all the time. Most of the time, he was alone in the village or walking along the muddy paths to the seaside, staring at the vast ice walls in a daze.

This place was indeed beautiful, and if he were just passing through, he would remember it for a lifetime.

But living here like a local, experiencing the poverty, scarcity, and inconvenience beneath the beautiful scenery, made it hard to see it as a paradise or a place to heal the soul.

Once, after waking up from a nap, Gu Deng found that only half an hour had passed. The silence around him was overwhelming, and as he stared at the bright ceiling, he felt a sudden fear. It wasn’t until he realized he was just a passerby that he breathed a sigh of relief.

The people living here were hardworking and admirable, but for Gu Deng, he couldn’t adapt to such a life—he longed for inner peace but feared falling into this monotonous routine.

However, the locals seemed accustomed to such boredom, or perhaps for them, the busy modern life was the real fear.

Besides the loneliness of having nothing to do, accommodation and food were also major issues.

He and Zhang Li were staying at Carly’s sister’s house—the home of that fierce-looking woman. They didn’t have a separate bedroom and had to sleep on a large shared bed with three generations of men from the family, with no privacy and constant snoring, even worse than when they stayed in a tent.

Gu Deng couldn’t sleep well every night, barely maintaining his sleep with sleeping pills, and eating was an even bigger problem.

Before arriving at the village, Gu Deng had mentally prepared himself for the food here—eating raw meat, drinking fresh blood, whale fat mixed with blueberries as ice cream.

Sure enough, the first proper meal featured such abstract food. The woman preparing the meal placed the food in front of him, smiling simply because of the language barrier.

Gu Deng had prepared himself, forcing himself to eat it. After he finished, Judy suddenly exclaimed, “You ate it all?”

Gu Deng felt a bit nauseous but remained polite, “Yes, I did.”

Judy: “Was it good?”

Gu Deng, tactfully, “It was okay.”

“Oh my gosh, you actually like this!” Judy was shocked and brought another bowl of bloody mush in front of him, saying, “Unbelievable, have more if you like it!”

Gu Deng was about to throw up and quickly shook his head, “No, no, I don’t like it.”

Judy looked puzzled, “If you don’t like it, why didn’t you refuse?”

Gu Deng: ?

He was stunned, almost bewildered, and asked, “I could refuse?”

“Why not?” Judy said, “None of us like this stuff, only the elders still eat it.”

Gu Deng: “…………”

The clown turned out to be himself.

But even without eating these traditional foods, the remaining options weren’t much better—strangely flavored meats and canned foods with every meal. Unbelievably, pre-packaged meals had even reached the Arctic.

After three days of eating nothing but meat, Gu Deng hadn’t had a single bowel movement, and his usually acne-free face even started breaking out.

Ah, ah, ah, I don’t want to eat meat anymore!

He wanted vegetables, fruits, dietary fiber, and vitamins!!

Unfortunately, he could only scream internally. The local resources were scarce, and eating meat at every meal was already the highest standard. Being picky would be too pretentious.

Forget it, just endure until the day they leave, Gu Deng told himself.

Unexpectedly, the next day, Zhang Li said he was taking someone to town to buy tools to repair the solar water heater and asked if he wanted to come along.

Gu Deng didn’t hesitate, “Only a fool wouldn’t go!”

On the way, Gu Deng made a long list, eagerly planning what to buy. Vegetables, fruits, milk, cake, coffee… and he had to have a big meal in town!

But when they arrived at their destination, Gu Deng was dumbfounded.

The town was ridiculously small, with no restaurants, let alone cake shops or coffee shops. There was only one supermarket, with some half-dead vegetables in the corner, priced outrageously and looking completely unappetizing.

Zhang Li was outside refueling the plane and was delayed for a while. When he came in, he saw Gu Deng holding a shriveled apple, looking utterly defeated.

Zhang Li: “There’s no road access here, only one cargo delivery per week.”

Gu Deng put the shriveled apple into the basket and sighed, “No wonder these apples are older than me.”

Zhang Li: “But today is their delivery day.”

Gu Deng’s eyes lit up instantly!

Not far from the tarmac, a cargo plane landed. The cabin door opened, and crates of fresh fruits and vegetables were unloaded. Besides the usual meats, vegetables, and fruits, there was yogurt, milk, cake, and even a box of hot pot base!

Gu Deng was incredulous, “The supermarket even sells hot pot base?”

Zhang Li: “I had someone buy it.”

The portions of raw meat, vegetables, and fruits were large, and with a whole box of hot pot base, they definitely couldn’t finish it all and would probably share it with the entire village.

Gu Deng was curious, “Can they get used to eating hot pot?”

Zhang Li: “They can.”

Since Zhang Li said so, Gu Deng didn’t hesitate any longer and happily took the items back. Ali had been down because of her grandmother, and he wondered if these snacks would cheer her up a bit.

Gu Deng wanted to use the snacks to comfort Ali, but when the plane landed, Ali suddenly ran over, happily saying, “Uncle, Grandma recognized me!”

Gu Deng was incredulous and forgot about the food, immediately following Ali to visit Carly. By the time they arrived, Carly had already fallen asleep, lying peacefully on the recliner, exuding a sense of timelessness.

Gu Deng looked down at Ali, who wasn’t sad but instead eagerly shared the story of Carly waking up with him.

After listening, Gu Deng finally understood and felt a bit incredulous, “So it was because you sang a song that awakened your grandmother’s memory?”

“Yes!” Ali was delighted, “I was just carving inside because I was bored and started singing to pass the time. When I sang a song Grandma wrote herself, she suddenly woke up and called my name!”

Gu Deng was genuinely happy for her and invited Ali to celebrate with hot pot.

They thought things had taken a turn for the better, but when Ali sang again, Carly gradually lost her response.

Gu Deng watched clearly as Carly initially reacted to the song, but soon she was immersed in the familiar silence, like a candle slowly extinguishing. Ali’s singing grew more urgent, but Carly could no longer respond.

Outside the tent, the world was blindingly white, the snow stinging the eyes. Ali hung her head, the wooden puppet in her hand already taking shape.

Gu Deng sighed and reached out to pat her head.

Ali didn’t cry this time and instead smiled, telling Gu Deng, “It’s okay, I’m just happy Grandma woke up once.”

Gu Deng didn’t know what to say, feeling curious, “Why did you keep repeating those two lines?”

Ali, a bit frustrated, said, “Because I only remember those two lines.”

Gu Deng: “No one else knows how to sing it?”

Ali shook her head, “I asked Mom, and she doesn’t know either.”

Gu Deng: “Is there a music score?”

Ali continued shaking her head, “We looked but couldn’t find it.”

Gu Deng fell silent and apologized.

“It’s okay,” Ali shook her head, gathering courage, “But I think Grandma will definitely remember!”

Gu Deng felt a bit uneasy and thought about this all night. The next day, he quietly sneaked into Carly’s room, trying to sing softly like Ali. He didn’t have much hope, but after several attempts with no effect, he couldn’t help but feel a bit sad.

He tried to expand those two lines of melody, but without any instruments at hand, he couldn’t find inspiration.

After another attempt from Carly’s tent, Gu Deng encountered Zhang Li at the door. At this distance, Zhang Li probably heard his tuneless sounds, making him a bit embarrassed, “I was just trying my luck.”

Zhang Li handed over an old guitar, “I found this, want to give it a try?”

“Where did it come from?” Gu Deng was surprised, reaching out to take the guitar.

“Borrowed it from a villager,” Zhang Li said, “Not sure if it still works.”

Gu Deng tried it out, the sound wasn’t quite right, but it was workable, so he nodded, “It’s fine, just needs tuning.”

“Alright, you use it.” Zhang Li said, turning to leave.

“Zhang Li.” Gu Deng called his name again.

“Anything else?” Zhang Li stopped and turned back.

Gu Deng shook his head, smiling at him, “Thank you.”

Having an instrument did make things easier, but progress was still slow, making Gu Deng increasingly frustrated.

Zhang Li asked him, “Have you thought about writing the song with Ali?”

Gu Deng shook his head, “I’m afraid it’ll make her sad, and I don’t even know if I can succeed.”

Zhang Li: “You could ask her first.”

Gu Deng had made no progress, so he hesitated and tentatively approached Ali. He was worried about bringing up sad memories, but Ali agreed to it without any hesitation.

They practiced in Carly’s room, with Gu Deng expanding on the rhythm and Ali guiding the direction and details.

“This part should be happier.”

“This part should be a bit sadder.”

“No, no,” Ali shook her head, “I remember this part should be more ‘wow’.”

Judy came over, hearing this and looking puzzled, “What do you mean by more ‘wow’?”

Gu Deng remained unfazed, simply changing his playing style, “Like this?”

Ali’s eyes lit up, “Yes, yes, just like that!”

Judy couldn’t help but laugh, turning to Zhang Li, “Do you understand what they’re saying?”

In the dim room, Gu Deng sat cross-legged on the carpet, holding the guitar in his arms, listening intently to the singing and ready to accompany Ali with various musical styles and playing techniques.

At this moment, Gu Deng was free from the previous gloom and frustration, focused and almost glowing with seriousness.

“No,” Zhang Li’s gaze was fixed on Gu Deng, “but I think it’s amazing.”