SA | Chapter 9

First Conflict

After posting on Weibo, Gu Deng handed the phone back to Zhang Li, not daring to look at any comments. Not only did he avoid looking, but he also told Zhang Li not to read any negative comments to him.

Zhang Li put away the phone but noticed Gu Deng staring at him with a hopeful look.

Zhang Li refreshed Weibo and said, “It’s only been two minutes, not many people have seen it yet, but someone in the comments is asking if it’s really you.”

“Of course it is!” Gu Deng said, “Take another photo of me and reply!”

Zhang Li opened the camera.

“Wait!” Gu Deng hesitated, looking at his reflection in the window, and ran his fingers through his hair. “Do I look awful like this?”

Zhang Li: “Not at all.”

“Ah, no way, I look terrible. How did I end up like this?” Gu Deng grew more upset as he looked, his hairstyle gone, clothes ugly, and complexion poor.

He took off his jacket, revealing a down jacket that had been soaked and dried, looking even worse. After a long struggle, he put the jacket back on and said dejectedly, “Forget it, let’s not take the photo.”

Zhang Li: “Why not?”

Gu Deng: “Because I look ugly right now!”

Looking at Gu Deng, Zhang Li suddenly recalled the first time he met Gu Deng on the Dalton Highway. Back then, Gu Deng wore a stylish jacket, had meticulously styled hair, wore headphones, and looked young, trendy, and beautiful.

But now, even if Gu Deng was wearing a plain jacket in front of him, he wasn’t ugly.

“You look good now too,” Zhang Li said, “Your bone structure and features are excellent. Hairstyle and clothes are just the icing on the cake. Honestly, you’d look good even with a shaved head and wearing a sack.”

Gu Deng: “…That sounds a bit gross.”

“I’m just stating the facts,” Zhang Li said, not feeling he had said anything inappropriate, and emphasized, “I’m a photographer, you should trust my aesthetic.”

“You photograph wildlife!” Gu Deng retorted, “Who knows what your aesthetic points are? What if you think I’m good-looking because I look like an animal?”

Zhang Li frowned, a bit puzzled, “You don’t like that kind of description?”

Gu Deng countered, “Who would like that kind of description?”

“Sorry,” Zhang Li said, “I won’t describe you like that in the future.”

Zhang Li felt a bit regretful because, in his view, animals are all beautiful.

He didn’t dare tell Gu Deng that he had secretly compared him to animals. Gu Deng was like a bird, with a pleasant voice and beautiful appearance. But in terms of personality, Zhang Li thought Gu Deng was more like a cat.

After a moment of silence, Zhang Li asked, “So, do you still want to take the photo?”

Gu Deng glanced at him and said, “You can take it, but let me see it first. I’ll only let you post it if I’m satisfied.”

“Alright.”

Even though Zhang Li was a wildlife photographer, Gu Deng didn’t expect him to be so skilled at photographing people.

Perhaps due to habits formed while photographing wildlife, Zhang Li didn’t really direct the model; he was better at capturing people’s expressions.

Gu Deng had worked with many photographers before, including online celebrities who had photographed countless stars and authoritative fashion photographers from abroad. Those photos were, of course, excellent, fashionable, exquisite, full of beauty and artistry.

But when Gu Deng saw the photo Zhang Li took, he was momentarily stunned. He had never seen himself like that.

The photo didn’t have a sophisticated composition or a dynamic pose. He was just sitting by the window, in a normal posture, with a calm gaze, carrying a subtle hint of aggression.

He thought he must look terrible now, without pretty clothes, a perfect hairstyle, and with poor skin. But he didn’t expect he could still show such an expression.

This photo made people overlook his attire and appearance, instead seeing his inner self and soul through his expression.

Is this who he really is?

Looking at the photo, Gu Deng almost didn’t recognize himself.

“Are you satisfied?” Zhang Li asked.

Gu Deng nodded, unable to resist adding, “I really like this photo.”

Zhang Li posted the photo in the Weibo comments section, and the popularity skyrocketed. Every refresh brought new messages, with likes, shares, and comments increasing rapidly. Ten minutes later, Zhang Li handed the phone over, “Look at this.”

Actually, Gu Deng had been sneaking glances at Zhang Li. Zhang Li had been calm before, but this time his expression turned a bit serious after refreshing.

Gu Deng swallowed and asked, “Are they criticizing me?”

“No,” Zhang Li said, “Your main account reposted the Weibo.”

Sister Lan saw this Weibo post?!

Gu Deng took the phone and saw his main account had reposted it, leaving a comment, “Waiting for you to come back.”

There was also a picture attached, showing his mom, brother, manager, and the studio team, along with the Xiao Ye Deng group photo at the hospital entrance.

Gu Deng looked at each face, all so familiar. He paused for over a minute, somehow clicked refresh.

Then he saw his friends in the industry, fan clubs, countless Xiao Ye Dengs flooding the comments with “Waiting for you to come back,” with a variety of pictures, sharing their daily lives with Gu Deng, their studies, work, travel, food, and hard-earned achievements.

Countless life fragments converged online, with life’s bitterness and sweetness, but everyone was still moving forward.

Gu Deng lowered his head, covering his mouth, but eventually, he couldn’t hold back and burst into tears.

·

The two didn’t linger much longer and returned to Anchorage that night. It wasn’t that Gu Deng was in a hurry to leave, but he remembered Zhang Li’s schedule. If it weren’t for him, Zhang Li would already be on his way to watch the reindeer migration.

They arrived in Anchorage late at night. Gu Deng, worried about delaying Zhang Li’s schedule, was told by Zhang Li not to rush and to sleep first, and they’d discuss it in the morning.

The next day, Gu Deng was woken up by the sound of a dog scratching at the door. He opened the door and was immediately tackled by an Alaskan dog, knocking him to the ground. Gu Deng barely managed to lift his head when a little girl with pigtails landed on the dog’s back.

With over a hundred pounds of person and dog, Gu Deng was crushed, dramatically begging for mercy.

“Surrender!” The mischievous pigtails grabbed his hair.

“Okay, I surrender!” Gu Deng raised his arms, surrendering without dignity, “Please, officer, spare me!”

Ali finally got up, showing a proud expression of “Alright, I’ll let you go for now.”

Gu Deng sat up, reaching out to ruffle the little girl’s hair, “Did you miss me?”

“Yes!” Ali answered loudly.

“Woof!” Cookie barked in agreement.

Ali asked Gu Deng, “Did you miss me?”

“Yes!” Gu Deng answered just as loudly.

“Ali,” a louder female voice called from downstairs, “Come down for breakfast, or you’ll be late for school!”

Ali hugged Cookie, not answering.

Gu Deng: “Why aren’t you answering your mom?”

Ali mumbled, “Because I don’t want to go to school.”

Gu Deng: “Why don’t you want to go to school?”

“Because none of us kids want to go to school!” Ali made a face at him and dragged Cookie downstairs.

After breakfast, Zhang Li, Gu Deng, and Smith gathered to discuss the detailed arrangements for the trip.

The reindeer herd was set to depart from the southern Brooks Range in early April, expected to reach the Arctic coastal plains by the end of May, a journey of 50 days covering over 500 kilometers.

Zhang Li divided the journey into five segments. Besides the starting and ending points, he planned for three resupply stops in between.

Smith was Zhang Li’s contact, responsible for logistical support. He would fly a small plane to take Zhang Li to the destination and provide supplies every ten days.

As for Gu Deng, he would travel back and forth with Smith’s small plane multiple times.

“Wait,” Gu Deng looked at Zhang Li, “What do you mean I’ll be traveling with Smith while you have three resupply stops?”

“Didn’t you know?” Smith said, “Zhang plans to hike the entire way.”

Gu Deng was stunned, looking at Zhang Li, “You’re not taking the plane?”

Zhang Li: “I’m hiking.”

Gu Deng’s expression turned sour.

“Did I say something wrong?” Smith glanced at Zhang Li, feeling awkward, “Didn’t he know about your plan?”

“I didn’t explain it clearly,” Zhang Li looked at Gu Deng, “I’ll be hiking, and you’ll be with Smith…”

“I know,” Gu Deng interrupted him, “I knew back at the bar.”

“Gu Deng, I…” Zhang Li tried to explain.

“It’s fine,” Gu Deng interrupted with a smile, “Continue.”

Smith glanced at Zhang Li, who nodded, and the meeting continued.

Next were confirmations of details, like whether Smith could reach the three resupply points on time, and if not, what alternative plans were in place.

As for potential dangers during the hike, Zhang Li didn’t elaborate much. It was his responsibility to handle them, as Smith didn’t have as much outdoor experience, and Gu Deng even less.

The meeting lasted nearly two hours. Finally, Zhang Li asked Smith and Gu Deng, “Do you think there’s anything that needs adjusting?”

Gu Deng remained silent.

Smith said, “You’re really not taking a gun? What if you encounter a bear?”

Zhang Li: “If I really encounter a bear, a gun won’t help.”

“How can it not help?” Smith said, “Didn’t you save tourists from a rampaging grizzly two years ago in the Brooks Range?”

Zhang Li still refused to take a gun, and Smith was at a loss, turning to complain to Gu Deng about Zhang Li’s stubbornness, “Look at him, once he decides on something, he won’t listen to anyone.”

Gu Deng hummed in response, still a bit emotional.

“And you?” Zhang Li turned to him.

“Nothing,” Gu Deng said.

The meeting adjourned, and Gu Deng returned to his room. Since there was still work to do, they ordered takeout for lunch, a typical American jumbo burger and fries combo, with huge portions, greasy and oily, a menu that would make Gu Deng’s nutritionist scream.

Gu Deng had no appetite, symbolically eating a few fries, then grabbed a cucumber from the fridge to munch on. Smith took a big bite of greasy meat, teasing that Gu Deng ate less than his daughter. So Gu Deng ate a banana too.

In the afternoon, they planned to accompany Gu Deng to buy gear, but Zhang Li went out alone, and Gu Deng remained silent. Smith looked left and right, shrugged, and left, not wanting to get involved in such a troublesome matter.

Staring at the empty living room, Gu Deng felt a bit ridiculous. Others might have just said something casually, yet he took it seriously, treating it like a treasure.

Gu Deng returned to his room, pulled the blanket over his face, deciding not to think about those bothersome things. Whatever, he wasn’t that eager to go anyway.

After an unknown amount of time, footsteps echoed in the hallway, and Zhang Li knocked on the door, “Can I come in?”

Gu Deng didn’t respond.

Zhang Li: “Are you mad?”

Gu Deng replied coolly, “What right do I have to be mad?”

Zhang Li: “I know you’re worried about me. I didn’t explain clearly, causing a misunderstanding.”

“No misunderstanding,” Gu Deng said, “This is your trip, you can arrange it however you like.”

The outside quieted for a moment, and just when Gu Deng thought Zhang Li had left, Zhang Li’s voice came again, “Gu Deng, I’m opening the door.”

Gu Deng watched the doorknob, not agreeing but not refusing either.

Zhang Li opened the door and entered. Gu Deng was curled up under the blanket, wrapped tightly like a turtle in its shell.

Hearing the door open, the person under the blanket shifted slightly, then quickly fell silent again.

Zhang Li didn’t move further in, just stood at the door and said, “I have reasons for needing to hike. Would you like to hear my explanation?”

Gu Deng remained unresponsive, but Zhang Li didn’t push further, patiently waiting in place.

After a while, Gu Deng finally poked his head out from under the blanket, his hair messy, eyes red, and asked, “What reasons?”