SMMW | Chapter 27

〖Emperor: Xuanyuan Hao is hereby appointed Marshal for the Western Campaign, and Huang Zhan Vice Marshal. Pacify the Datan rebellion within three months!

Xuanyuan Hao: This son accepts the decree.

Huang Zhan: This subject accepts the decree.〗

[It’s here after all. The martial route is especially hard]

[Can’t be helped, the fame route needs top-ups, and at this stage you also have to do disaster relief, which means even more spending]

[The intelligence route is even more brutal, but if your intelligence goes over 120, you can persuade the enemy to retreat and speed-clear it directly]

[RMB players really do have it good]

[The devs have practically written “cash grab” right on their faces]

[If you clear the martial route, you directly get military faction power, so the payoff is pretty good]

[And you also get Fame +30, which angrily saves you 3000]

[That’s only if you can clear it in the first place…]

[You can also buy military support with money, but the whales taking the other two routes don’t care about this little bit]

[The streamer is still at Money 0 right now. He cares a lot]

It was a harsh truth, but Song Hao really did have zero money.

At this stage, the requirements were two power lines and Martial Arts above 80, plus Fame above 50.

As soon as his monthly salary came in, it first went to the nasty steward, then to the intelligence network, and finally to Master, leaving him with 800 for himself. Not only did he have no time to build affection with female characters, he also kept running into all kinds of trivial little incidents that cost money.

For example, when he ran into a beggar, it cost 100 qian right from the start, and if he did not pay, his Fame dropped. It was practically like the devs had sent the beggar over to extort him.

After three months’ worth of actions, all his spare money had only turned into 16 points of Fame.

Still, at least all that wine he had been sending Master had not gone to waste. His Martial Arts was already at 87. And Master had said that if they won, they would gain military support, which would definitely add another power line.

From the way the comments sounded, he could also gain 30 Fame, so by that math the conditions would almost be complete. As long as he won and came back, then lay low for a bit, he would become Crown Prince very soon~

So Song Hao was actually looking forward to this war side route quite a lot.

〖Guard: Third Prince, Wen Qing of the Ministry of Revenue requests an audience.

Your choice is: See / Don’t see〗

“Of course I’m seeing him. Hey, can I bring Wen Qing with me? Wen Qing can become one of my subjects too, right?”

[You can only bring one. If you don’t bring Master, then who’s supposed to fight the war?]

[Wen Qing has never trained before. If he goes to the battlefield he’s just cannon fodder]

[Did you forget that suspicion can’t go over 30? Each subject adds a fixed 10 points]

[Li Yi and Master, that’s already 20]

[There’s no room for sister-in-law. Wait until you become Crown Prince]

〖See〗

〖Xuanyuan Hao: Why are you here?

Wen Qing: This isn’t the place to talk. Come with me!

Wen Qing pulls you away. You come to a large fork in the road.

Wen Qing: Let’s go left?

Your choice is: Agree / Disagree〗

“This route-picking thing again. The devs are definitely up to something.” Having already been tricked several times, Song Hao was extremely alert by now.

〖Left route.

You encounter Lord Jiang.

Lord Jiang: Third Prince, there is a problem with the Ministry of Revenue’s accounts, and we are desperately short-handed. Why don’t I take Wen Qing away first, and the two of you can meet another day?

Xuanyuan Hao: Alright. Official business comes first.

Wen Qing: I had originally wanted to invite the Third Prince out for pastries, but what a pity, after today that pastry will be sold out.〗

“Huh? There’s definitely some stat gain to be farmed here. I knew the devs were trying to ruin my chances. Load, load. What business in your Ministry of Revenue is important enough to interrupt my pastry time?”

[Future tyrant in the making]

[hahahahahahahaha]

[The moment he hears “free stats,” the streamer goes feral! He’s lost in it!]

[wuwuwu sister-in-law is so good]

[Let’s see who dares interrupt Sweet Potato Bro’s freeloading!]

After loading, Song Hao was ready to refuse when Wen Qing suggested the left path, so they could avoid running into Lord Jiang.

〖Wen Qing: Let’s go right?

Your choice is: Agree / Disagree〗

“Here I choose disagree… huh?”

Song Hao rubbed his eyes and hesitated. “Didn’t Wen Qing say left the first time? Did I remember it wrong?”

[?]

[It was left the first time]

[I remember it that way too]

[Huh? Why did the plot change?]

[Did it bug out? The devs are too lazy to fix half their bugs]

“So what am I supposed to choose? If I choose Agree, am I still going to run into Lord Jiang?”

Song Hao hesitated for a moment, but still chose Agree. Fortunately, Lord Jiang did not appear this time.

But Wen Qing did not take him to eat pastries either. Instead, they stopped halfway.

〖Wen Qing: The court may send you out on campaign in the next few days. Whatever happens, don’t go!

Xuanyuan Hao: It was already decided today. The Datan tribe is causing trouble, and I’m to lead troops out against them.〗

“Oh, so he came to warn me. But it’s already too late, and if I don’t go, I can’t collect enough stats anyway. Still, to be fair, my bro is way more reliable. My Master still costs me nearly five thousand a month to keep fed.”

Song Hao was deeply moved and opened Wen Qing’s stat panel to take a look.

〖Wen Qing: Literary Talent 178, Intelligence 86, Calculation 82;

Martial Arts 0, Constitution 36;

Appearance 93, Charm 5, Romantic Flair 0〗

“Holy crap, that Intelligence, that Calculation, what level is this?” Song Hao’s eyes turned red staring at the two 86 and 82 values. If those were his stats instead, he’d be emperor tomorrow.

[Holy shit! That’s so high. You really lucked into a top-tier civil official, definitely grand-secretariat level]

[Calculation is actually 82??? Put him in the Ministry of Revenue and your finances will never have problems]

[Yeah yeah, enough for you to be an effortless tyrant]

[Your luck is insane. I’m jealous]

[His loyalty is probably super high too, but since you didn’t recruit him as a subject you can’t even see it]

Song Hao kept looking, grinning happily. “Martial Arts 0, hahaha, that’s such a classic frail-scholar setup. Constitution is low too, no wonder he gets sick. My Master, on the other hand, is like some kind of beast, Martial Arts 94, Constitution 92, but Literary Talent 28, hahahahahahaha…”

Reading the comments made him even happier, and he felt more and more like he had picked up a treasure.

“Then there’s no problem. Once I become emperor, I’ll kick out Lord Jiang and make Wen Qing Minister of Revenue. Too bad, the slots are already full. I can only recruit him after I become Crown Prince.”

[Come on, if you’d married Li Yi, you could’ve gotten the Prime Minister faction immediately, and then that extra subject slot would fit Wen Qing perfectly]

[Exactly. Marriage doesn’t add suspicion, since this is a harem game after all]

[Speaking of which, what happened to the eight wives you promised? Haven’t seen a single one!]

[He’s too broke to marry anybody]

[Sure, sure, just swap it around. Save a harem slot for sister-in-law]

The game interface kept running the plot, and of course it froze again halfway. Wen Qing’s mouth moved, but there was no dialogue box. By now Song Hao was somewhat used to it. This garbage game really was badly managed, they fixed neither the small bugs nor the big ones.

〖Wen Qing: Yuan Hao, take care on the road.

Xuanyuan Hao: Alright.〗

Song Hao had been playing this game for almost two months now. Seeing Wen Qing on the screen sadly telling him to take care really moved him. After all, all this way through, Wen Qing had always been helping him, almost like a teammate fighting by his side. With emotion, he said, “He’s the only one who still calls me Yuan Hao.”

The comments, naturally, were not nearly so sentimental, and of course they were not going to indulge this always-out-of-sync streamer.

[Hey hey hey, weren’t you the one who told him to call you that]

[Don’t pull that sappy nonsense on us, bro]

[I’m mad. There was supposed to be a wives-and-concubines farewell scene, and instead all we got was a buddy]

[What, my sister-in-law isn’t qualified enough?]

[What’s wrong with sister-in-law seeing you off? Are you blind to the huge discount she gave you? Speak.]

“When I come back, the two of us are gonna rise to the very top together!” Song Hao painted a big dream right at the screen, full of confidence and heroic spirit as he began the war-instance.

This pay-to-win game was devious. Right at the start, it gave him very little grain.

〖Check: Fame 16, obtained 32 portions of grain supplies. One portion can feed the entire army for one day.〗

Which meant Song Hao had to win within 32 days, or else he would fail because he ran out of food.

After setting out, Song Hao ran into the classic route-picking segment again.

〖You choose: Left route / Middle route / Right route〗

〖You chose: Left route

The road runs close to dense forest, with scarcely any inhabitants. No supplies can be replenished along the way, but you can reach the battlefield in 10 days.

The mountain air is cool and fresh, so the soldiers do not have to suffer the summer heat, and morale does not fall.

Suddenly, several masked assassins leap out ahead. Their skills are impressive, and they charge straight for you.

Check: Xuanyuan Hao Martial Arts 87, kills the assassins on the spot, takes no injuries, morale rises.

※Grain -10, Morale +5〗

“They actually dared to assassinate the commanding officer of a marching army? Were they sent by the enemy?”

Song Hao genuinely found it baffling. “What kind of assassins are reckless enough to do that? Since there’s no resupply along the way, I’ll try another route instead. Grain is too limited.”

〖You chose: Middle route

The army passes through villages and towns. The villagers come leading horses and sheep to send them off, halving the army’s grain consumption. You can reach the battlefield in 12 days.

The summer heat is oppressive. The march is exhausting, and morale falls.

The livestock are restless and often crash into the marching troops, disrupting their formation. Morale falls again.

※Grain -6, Morale -10〗

“This route saves grain, but morale drops way too much. Though I still don’t know what morale is even for.”

〖You chose: Right route

The road runs close to the cliffside, and grain consumption increases.

A shortcut is discovered, doubling marching speed. You can reach the battlefield in 5 days.

Loose rocks often tumble down the mountain. Soldiers are injured, and morale falls.

You are also accidentally struck.

Check: Xuanyuan Hao Constitution 55, lightly injured.

※Grain -10, Morale -5〗

“Something’s off here. I know every route is supposed to have a problem, but this looks just like the dangers I ran into after the exams.”

Song Hao pulled up the plot review. “Bandits, livestock stampedes, falling rocks, right? Is that some kind of connection, or are the devs just being lazy?”

He tried clicking on Huang Zhan and found that it triggered dialogue.

〖Xuanyuan Hao: Master, I think something’s wrong.

Huang Zhan: There is a problem. In this season, there shouldn’t be any falling rocks.〗

“Even Master says something’s wrong, so this must be man-made. No need to guess. It’s either Eldest Brother or Second Brother. And if this one was man-made, then the incident after the exams was too. They discovered me very early on and wanted to get rid of me by making it look like an accident.”

Song Hao tapped the table as he kept thinking. “My mom left in such a hurry, was it because they were planning to kidnap her while I was taking the exam? If they could guess my identity and think of kidnapping my mom, then it must be the same group that harmed my birth mother back then.”

“Hah, they’re playing dirty, laying out plans that early. But my dad and I have the same face, so it wouldn’t be surprising if some official noticed, right? The only time officials really saw me would’ve been during the exam. I was attacked after returning from the provincial exam, so that means they saw me during the provincial exam, provincial exam…”

Song Hao scrolled through the plot and found that there was only one official named in that section, “Lord Xue,” the one who had deliberately come over to speak to him before the exam.

“Got it. Once I come back from this war, whoever knows Lord Xue is the culprit. Of course, even if I guess wrong, it doesn’t matter. Since I’m going to become emperor anyway, neither of my two brothers gets to live.”

[Can I say this is kind of hot [sunglasses x1]]

[Big male lead energy]

[So smart, just what you’d expect from a zero-spend man [heart x5]]

[I’m so excited, this feels like I’m playing a male-targeted power fantasy game]

[Go for it!]

“So right now it’s all about the route. I still don’t know what morale and grain each really do. If you want to save grain, pick middle. If you want to boost morale, pick left. I’m saving here. I’ve got a feeling morale matters more, so let’s go left first.”

Left route, Grain -10, Morale +5.

After Song Hao dealt with the assassins, he tried clicking Huang Zhan, and sure enough, dialogue triggered again.

〖Xuanyuan Hao: Master, I think something’s wrong.

Huang Zhan: There is a problem. What kind of idiots come to assassinate a whole army?〗

After reaching the battlefield, Song Hao opened the army stat panel.

〖Grain 22, Morale 105.

Available battle participants:

-Huang Zhan, Martial Arts 94, Constitution 92

-Xuanyuan Hao, Martial Arts 87, Constitution 55

-Deputy General Chen, Martial Arts 70, Constitution 66

-Deputy General Xue, Martial Arts 62, Constitution 43

Tip: Accumulate 10 victories to win〗

“Counting me, there are only four people who can fight. And the last one is weak, plus his surname is Xue, so I like him even less. Let’s see how the war is actually fought.”

Song Hao clicked Battle and discovered that combat on the battlefield was done through duels. Each side sent out a general, and the one with the higher numbers won.

On the first day, Song Hao sent out Deputy General Xue. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 120, cumulative victories 1, grain remaining 21.

On the second day, Song Hao sent out Deputy General Chen. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 135, cumulative victories 2, grain remaining 20.

On the third day, Song Hao sent himself out. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 150, cumulative victories 3, grain remaining 19.

Just as Song Hao was marveling at how simple the game still seemed, the enemy launched a night raid on the third night, burning 10 portions of grain and leaving only 9. Morale dropped by 50%, going from 150 down to 75.

〖Tip: Overproud troops are bound to fail. When morale ≥ 150, the grain-burning event is triggered〗

[They just burn it directly???]

[That’s vicious]

[I knew it couldn’t be that easy]

[It only gives you the tip after the disaster happens]

[You only need 10 wins, so the rest should still be enough, right]

On the fourth day, Song Hao sent Huang Zhan. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 90, cumulative victories 4, grain remaining 8.

On the fifth day, Song Hao sent Deputy General Xue. Defeat, morale -20.

Song Hao loaded. This time he sent himself. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 105, cumulative victories 5, grain remaining 7.

On the sixth day, Song Hao sent himself again. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 120, cumulative victories 6, grain remaining 6.

On the seventh day, Song Hao tried to send himself again, but the system reminded him that each general could only go into battle at most 3 times.

So Song Hao sent Deputy General Chen. Defeat, morale -20.

Song Hao loaded and sent Huang Zhan instead. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 135, cumulative victories 7, grain remaining 5.

On the seventh night, Deputy General Xue colluded with the enemy and burned all the remaining grain. (If grain >10, half is burned. If grain <10, all is burned.)

〖Tip: Grain exhausted, the entire army is annihilated.〗

〖Ending reached: Wrapped in Horsehide

(How many men return from ancient battlefields? Their blood stains the frontiers, their names resound across distant mountains.)〗

“You bastard! I knew there was something wrong with anyone surnamed Xue.”

But he still had a chance. He could load. Song Hao opened Notepad and began writing down the key points of the battlefield.

Every victory gives +15 morale, but if morale goes over 150, 10 grain gets burned.

Every general can only fight 3 times. To reach 10 victories, I have to use the Xue guy.

I have to reach 10 victories before the grain runs out.

“Looking at it this way, morale is actually useless. Grain is what matters. I need to load back to the route choice.”

The route that left him with the most grain was the middle route, Grain -6, Morale -10.

So the second run began with Grain 26 and Morale 90.

On the first day, he sent Deputy General Xue. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 105, cumulative victories 1, grain remaining 25.

Then that very night, he directly executed Deputy General Xue, morale -50, leaving 65.

On the second day, Song Hao got a system reminder that troops could not go into battle if morale was below 70.

“Damn it!” Song Hao slammed the table this time. “Couldn’t you just explain all the rules at once!?”

[They do it on purpose, it’s made to wreck your mental state]

[This is exhausting]

[So torturous]

[Hang in there [little yellow duck x1]]

[You’ve worked really hard already [rose x3]]

Song Hao loaded. Fine, he would not kill him yet. On the second day, he sent Deputy General Xue again. Defeat, morale -20.

He loaded and switched to Deputy General Chen instead. Victory, morale +15.

※Morale 120, cumulative victories 2, grain remaining 24.

Then he immediately executed Deputy General Xue that night, morale -50, leaving 70.

On the third day, he sent Deputy General Chen.

Deputy General Chen believed that the Third Prince’s execution of a general right before battle had damaged the troops’ morale, and refused to go into battle.

“He’s feeling sorry for him now!? Is disobeying orders on the battlefield somehow fine? What is this saintly act? No way, this is pissing me off. If he won’t fight, I can’t make it to ten wins. I have to restart anyway, so I might as well kill him to vent.”

Song Hao executed Deputy General Chen, morale -50, leaving 20.

〖Tip: Morale below 50, the army mutinies, and you are shot to death.〗

〖Ending reached: Forsaken by All

(You govern your troops poorly, delight in violence and killing, and in the end it turns back on you.)〗

“Great. Died twice already. To make it to ten, I have to let the traitor and the saintly idiot get a total of four wins, then kill the traitor. Once the saintly idiot goes on strike, Master and I can handle the rest. Again!”

The third run began, Grain 26 and Morale 90.

But because each general had different combat strength, the saintly idiot and the traitor could not actually win four times between them in the first seven days. And the traitor was guaranteed to burn half the grain on the seventh day.

After the grain was burned, if he then killed Deputy General Xue, Deputy General Chen would stop acting saintly, and morale would not drop.

Which meant that before the seventh day, he had to win as much as possible, while also making sure morale did not go over 150, because if morale got too high, the enemy would come burn the grain again.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Song Hao left his seat and screeched around the room like a monkey, jumping all over the place.

[AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]

[AHHHHHHHH]

[help]

[I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to storm the devs, who’s coming with me]

[Me! I’ve got three alts, let’s hammer this garbage game down below a 2-point rating]

[Count me in!]

[Watching this makes me want to quit the internet]

[My heart hurts]

[Storm the official site, destroy the comment section!]

[Seriously, what the ****, I’ve never seen ****]

After jumping and yelling around the room to let off steam, Song Hao entered a sage-like state, then came back to sit in front of the camera with his hair sticking up like a bird’s nest.

Expressionless, he opened Excel.

[wuwuwuwu bro, bro!!]

[No, go rest for a bit!]

[And here comes the classic segment of this wholesome livestream]

[The boys are here to learn Office again]

[Tuition paid [sunglasses x1]]

Same old method. Days down the vertical axis, stats across the horizontal. Wins and losses in separate columns. Morale = initial 90 + wins × 15 – losses × 20. He set conditional formatting so that 70 < morale ≤ 150 was highlighted with a red background.

The grain column counted down. The cumulative victory column was handled with a fill-down sum.

He also highlighted the seventh day separately, where the grain would be halved.

Third run, start.

Deputy General Xue had to stay alive until the seventh day to burn half the grain, yes, but what Song Hao never could have guessed was that this useless piece of trash could only win the very first duel. After that he lost every single one. Which meant the other three all had to win their battles to the maximum possible extent.

Seventh day, the traitor burned the grain, then Song Hao killed the traitor, leaving 10 grain. He still needed 5 more victories.

Since the enemy’s battle power changed from round to round and his own generals had limited battle counts, Song Hao used a Xue-Chen-Hao-Huang deployment strategy to preserve the battle count of his strongest fighters as much as possible.

But later on, wins and losses came in a mixed mess.

On the fourteenth day, Huang Zhan won, morale +15. But Huang Zhan had now reached his 3-battle limit and could not be sent out again.

※Morale 90, cumulative victories 8, grain remaining 3.

He could only fight for three more days. Within those three days, he needed two victories, and they had to be one win each from Xuanyuan Hao and Deputy General Chen.

Song Hao checked his save points. There were only two free save slots. One had been used on the route selection during the march, and the other on personnel selection on the fourteenth day.

“This is already the most extreme, most likely possible way I can think of to clear it. What comes next is pure luck. If I can get enough wins within these three days, I go back and become Crown Prince. If I can’t, then the challenge fails, and this game ends here.”

[AHHHHHHHHHH don’t do this]

[Don’t end it, wuwuwu [lollipop x1]]

[Take my luck, you can do it]

[The streamer really did his best [sunglasses x1]]

[It’s a 50% win rate, there’s still a chance [heart x3]]

〖Day Fifteen. Heavy rain falls from the sky. An old veteran who understands weather says the rain will continue for three days.

※Grain remaining 3〗

In front of the camera, Song Hao shut his eyes in despair and slowly let out a deep breath.

“Challenge failed. This is really the end this time. Zero-spending is hard. Thanks, everyone, for coming to the stream to watch me play.”

[wuwuwuwu I’m gonna miss you [rose x10]]

[It’s really a shame, but there’s nothing that could be done [hot air balloon x1]]

[Not a single girl showed up [free flowers x1]]

[crying [little yellow duck x1]]

[What about sister-in-law [lollipop x1]]

Song Hao propped himself up on one arm while reading the comments. His whole body looked as though all the strength had been sucked out of it. “Wen Qing helped me so much the whole way. I really did plan to repay him after becoming emperor. He could’ve done whatever he wanted, and I would’ve had his back. But there’s no chance anymore.”

[This was real love [heart x9]]

[Sister-in-law’s devotion wasn’t in vain [bouquet x1]]

[By now the streamer automatically means Wen Qing whenever he says sister-in-law hehe [fireworks x1]]

[One last bite of sugar [lollipop x1]]

[If it were possible, would you marry Wen Qing and make him empress? [hot air balloon x1]]

Song Hao still did not understand how these viewers’ minds worked. “How would that even be possible? This is a harem game.”

[Don’t worry about that part, just tell us whether you would or not!]

Since the viewers insisted, and since the game was already over anyway, Song Hao actually started seriously considering the possibility. “Well… I guess you could. He’s got a good personality, a good temper, high intelligence, high calculation. Feels like he’d be pretty good at managing the harem. But with so many people in the harem, what if he got bullied? I’ve watched palace dramas, aren’t they all super underhanded?”

[Then just marry him alone]

[Before that, maybe think about the issue of putting a man in your harem and whether you’d get cheated on, bro [eye roll]]

[He loves him, and the parting is complete [heart x12]]

[So thoughtful]

[Why don’t you just play one more round! [sports car x1]]

“No no no, thanks boss, but really, no.” Song Hao waved his hands in fright. “It’s way too torturous. I originally wanted to see whether game streaming could become a side career for me, but now I don’t have that idea at all.”

[You’re online this long, I thought you were full-time]

[You’ve got a chance, just switch to another game and keep playing!]

[What’s your main job, Sweet Potato Bro?]

[Blind guess: office clerk]

[Office master]

“I don’t have a main job. I’m unemployed right now. I’m living off savings and stream donations. Once that’s almost used up, I’ll go look for work.” Song Hao yawned and checked the time. It was already two in the morning. Ever since he started streaming games, he had been staying up late every night, and his schedule was completely messed up.

After chatting idly for a while, he felt a bit better. He picked up the mouse again and clicked the dialogue box.

“Let’s look at the ending.”

〖Day Sixteen. Heavy rain. Unable to fight. ※Grain remaining 1〗

〖Day Seventeen. Heavy rain. Unable to fight. ※Grain remaining 0〗

〖……〗

〖……〗

〖……〗

〖Soldier: Third Prince! There’s a group at the gate of the main camp, saying they’re a supply convoy from the capital and have come to deliver grain to us!

Huang Zhan: How could that bunch of trash possibly travel in the rain!? It may be a lure from Datan.

Soldier: The leader has a token, a dragon-patterned jade pendant. He says it belongs to the Third Prince. Third Prince, would you please see whether it’s yours?

※Obtained Jade Pendant x1〗

A dragon-patterned jade pendant. It really was his.

Could it be…

All at once, Song Hao no longer felt the helplessness and resignation from before. He snatched up the mouse and clicked furiously at the soldier, following him outside, climbing the watchtower, and looking down.

〖A line of people in straw hats, bedraggled and miserable, with dozens of large carts stretching all the way into the distance.

The one at the front heard the commotion, took off his straw hat, revealed his face, and shouted upward with all his strength, “There are fifteen grain carts here, five of medicinal supplies, and ten of clothing, bedding, and other military necessities, thirty carts in total! This official is, a Ministry of Revenue zhushi, Wen Qing!”〗