SMMW | Chapter 31

〖Wen Qing: You may only marry me.〗

〖Agreed〗

[Agreed to what???]

[One lifetime, one pair, I’m shipping it [heart x99]]

[You even agreed to this???]

[He loves him, and he loves him too, they really are a match made in heaven~ [rose x19]]

[Streamer, if you’re being mind-controlled, blink]

[So dizzy with love, and he’s willing to be~ [fireworks x1]]

“Huh? Of course I had to pick agree. What if he decided not to marry me?”

[How do you know he wouldn’t marry if you didn’t try]

[This is a harem game! Since when is there an option to marry only one!]

[If favorability gets too high, it can trigger a vow of fidelity]

[Sister-in-law really is deeply in love~]

[I don’t care! Reload the save! You can’t agree to this!]

“…I forgot to save.”

[…]

“Let’s just leave it, it’s all for clearing the game, don’t fuss over the details.” Song Hao casually brushed the audience off, then kept pushing the plot forward.

At this point, Mu Ziyi arrived first. After Song Hao became Crown Prince, he fulfilled his promise. She was now a proper third-rank Zhanshi of the Eastern Palace, in charge of all Eastern Palace affairs.

〖Mu Ziyi: Crown Prince, the Ministry of Rites is tripping us up!

Xuanyuan Hao: What?

Mu Ziyi: The Eldest Prince has people in the Ministry of Rites and is deliberately making things difficult. The wedding robes they sent for the Crown Princess are old and worn out, completely unfit to wear. They’re obviously trying to make the Eastern Palace lose face. If you go complain to the Emperor, he’ll definitely stir things up and accuse you of extravagance again. So now we can only buy them ourselves.

※ Purchase wedding robes at the Embroidery Workshop〗

Song Hao checked his money. When he came back, his imperial dad had given him 50,000. After paying back debts and buying stats, he still had 37,500 left. Buying wedding robes should be affordable.

“I knew they wouldn’t let me keep any extra money. It all has to get spent.”

Song Hao headed straight for Wen Qing’s house and dragged him off to the Embroidery Workshop.

Of the wedding robes sold there, the cheapest cost 3,000 qian.

When Wen Qing came out after trying them on, it was just a very ordinary red outfit with a bit of embroidery on it.

Even so, it showed as sold out.

〖Limited to 1000 pieces per day, dear customer, please come back tomorrow~〗

In reality, this was the only set of wedding robes that could be bought with in-game money. The others all required RMB.

[3000 is so expensive]

[And there’s even a purchase limit, what a black-hearted dev team]

[It doesn’t even look that good]

[Don’t buy it]

[You can’t keep playing if you don’t buy it]

[Come back tomorrow and camp the purchase limit]

[Not likely. I doubt there are even really 1000 pieces, and with the player base this big, very few people can actually get one]

[You can’t get past this part unless the devs rob you]

[Too late. This trash game already finalized the acquisition deal, and it’s shutting down in half a month]

[Ahhhhhhhhhhh no way]

[Bro Sweet Potato is running out of time to ascend the throne, maybe just spend a little?]

[Agreed]

[Recharge a little, bro, it won’t count as you failing the challenge]

[The streamer’s road to this point has really been so hard]

[I’m so mad, I’m going to leave the officials another bad review]

By this point, Song Hao also felt it would be a pity. Since the viewers all agreed, he was preparing to spend a little money too.

There were three cash-shop wedding outfits in total, priced at 39, 59, and 79. The differences were obvious. The more expensive, the more gorgeous and beautiful.

The 39-yuan wedding outfit had added hidden patterns, and the material looked much more high-end.

The 59-yuan one had a more complicated design. Even the fastenings were made of pearls, and it also came with an extra xiapei.

The 79-yuan one was a total transformation. Gold-thread phoenix embroidery was only the basics. Pearls, gemstones, and fine jade were piled on with abandon. The whole thing was glittering, noble, and obviously the most impressive set.

When Wen Qing came out wearing it, he too looked radiant and dazzlingly elegant. Put side by side, that 3000-qian set looked far too shabby.

And on the game’s recharge page, there were only fixed tiers, 30, 50, and 100.

“So sneaky. If you want to buy wedding clothes, no matter which tier you choose, there’ll definitely be money left over. There’s no way to spend it exactly.”

[There isn’t even a custom amount]

[As expected of a pay-to-win game]

[What about the first top-up 3-yuan deal?]

[30+3=33, still not enough for the cheapest one]

[Some profanity for the officials]

Song Hao admitted defeat, took out his phone, opened the payment page, and clicked pay.

〖※ Congratulations, you have successfully paid 100 yuan〗

[?]

[Huh?]

[That amount is?]

[Why recharge 100?]

[Wouldn’t 50 have been enough?]

Song Hao explained to the viewers, “If you top up 30, you can’t buy the 39-yuan outfit. If you top up 50, you can’t buy the 59-yuan outfit. If you top up 100, you can buy the 79-yuan outfit.”

[But if you top up 50, you could buy the 39-yuan outfit?]

“Huh?” It was like Song Hao’s cerebral cortex had finally been activated. Stroking his chin, he thought it over for a while. The comments section also watched him think in complete silence.

Then he said, “Seems like that’s true.”

[…]

[Intellect 12]

[No wonder you went down the military general route]

[Who exactly believed his “eight wives” plan back then? Does he look like someone with a brain?]

[Great wisdom looking like stupidity]

[Is he really dumb or just pretending?]

[Who cares, anyway he dotes on his wife]

[How about refunding me some money. I didn’t send you gifts so you could use them to buy wedding robes for a man]

[What gifts, the free flowers?]

[Hahaha, the money you recharged still wouldn’t even cover the streamer’s electricity bill]

The comments section was always fighting. Song Hao was already used to it. Let them fight if they wanted.

On the game page, the 100 yuan he had recharged had already been credited, and behind the character portrait was now an “lv1” badge, probably a recharge level.

The 79-yuan wedding outfit really was beautiful, so Song Hao clicked buy without hesitation.

Wen Qing stood inside the Embroidery Workshop wearing the wedding robes, and Song Hao controlled the character to run around him, circling to look him over from every angle. Mm-hmm. The money had been well spent.

Of course, this whole wedding business still was not over.

〖Steward: Crown Prince, the Yaoyue Residence where the Crown Princess will live is a bit old. Would you like to renovate it?

※ Renovation requires payment of 19 yuan.〗

Song Hao thought, I already spent money anyway! Spend it!

〖Yes〗

At once, Yaoyue Residence became completely renewed, draped all over in red silk, and even the flowers in the courtyard bloomed beautifully.

〖Steward: Crown Prince, the wedding banquet has three tiers, 19 / 29 / 39. Which one would you like to use?〗

〖39〗

〖※ Your balance is insufficient〗

Song Hao checked the account. He had clearly just recharged a hundred. After deducting the wedding outfit and renovation, only two yuan remained. Money really did flow like water.

The comments were still busy arguing and had no time to pay attention to him.

So Song Hao recharged another 50.

〖Steward: As expected of the Crown Prince’s wedding, this banquet of ours truly has style!〗

The devs had squeezed about enough money out of him, so the game finally started moving into the grand wedding plot.

Dressed in groom’s attire, Song Hao led the wedding procession to the Wen residence. Blocking the door was tavern owner Ke Xin’an, and leading the ruckus was Eastern Palace Zhanshi Mu Ziyi.

After both sides had their lively fun, the bridal sedan was carried back to the Eastern Palace amid music and drumming.

As expected of something he had paid for, the wedding feast was indeed grand. Fine wine and dishes streamed onto the tables like flowing water. Some people started shouting that they wanted to force the groom to drink. Song Hao’s shifu Huang Zhan stepped out too, drank them all under the table, then stood on top of one of the tables happily shouting, “Come drink! Anyone else left?!”

Song Hao felt his shifu just genuinely loved drinking.

After bowing to Heaven and Earth, they entered the bridal chamber. Wen Qing, dressed in wedding robes set with gold and jade, sat on the bed looking at him.

〖※ Obtained faction: finance〗

“Holy crap, Wen Qing has a faction line too? Because he’s rich, so it’s finance?”

[Sister-in-law’s dowry is indeed generous]

[Probably because he’s in the Ministry of Revenue]

[Bro Sweet Potato won’t have to worry about money anymore]

[Ahhhhhhhhhhh you lucky bastard]

[Becoming Emperor requires five faction lines, and the streamer already has three!]

〖※ Obtained CG — Union Cup and Bound Hair

Preserve this beautiful moment forever, click to purchase customized merchandise →〗

“??? What the hell is this?”

Song Hao clicked the link, which redirected him to a shopping page showing that based on CGs you had unlocked, you could customize badges, acrylic standees, commemorative posters, and so on. Fifteen-day preorder, free shipping for purchases over 188.

To push sales, the devs had even sneakily used the CG from just now as a display mock-up.

Song Hao sighed. “The devs really do know how to make money.”

[You’re not about to buy that too, are you [alert.jpg]]

[You secretly recharged again behind our backs, and we haven’t even judged you for it yet]

[Stop while you can, this is how addiction starts]

[The streamer is already addicted to spending]

[Bro Sweet Potato, wake up]

“No, no, those acrylic standees and badges and stuff, they’re not even that good-looking. I’m not buying them.” Song Hao swore confidently, while the comments section remained deeply suspicious.

〖※ Intimacy system unlocked〗

The intimacy system mainly had five options: Chat, Gift, Kiss, Hug, and Sleep.

Because Wen Qing’s favorability was 999, the intimacy system was fully unlocked from the start.

[Hehehehe I’ve been waiting for this]

[Hehehehe]

[Started screen recording]

[Bro, I’m straight, I don’t want to watch this]

[Shh, there are no straight men in this livestream]

〖Chat〗

〖Xuanyuan Hao: From now on we’re husband and wife, so we ought to address each other more intimately. What would you like me to call you?

Wen Qing: Qingqing.

Wen Qing: And you? What should I call you?

※ Please enter nickname: _ _〗

“Nickname time. Only two characters. What should I call him?”

[Husband]

[Gege]

[Spouse]

[My lord husband]

[The nicknames you guys are coming up with are disgusting]

[These are two men!]

[Lord]

[Bro]

[Brother]

[Your Majesty]

[Are you swearing brotherhood or entering the bridal chamber?]

[The streamer’s already married and still wants to act tough?]

It was instantly obvious which side was the male fans and which side was the female fans.

And driven by some private feeling he had not yet clearly recognized, the nickname Song Hao finally entered was:

〖Baishu〗

[hello??? What normal person calls their spouse Baishu on their wedding night]

[I can’t tell whether this is shippable or not shippable]

[I’m starting to believe the streamer really is straight]

[Thanks bro [free flower x1]]

[We’re all brothers here, I think Baishu is pretty good [thumbs up]]

Song Hao always insisted on trying every function once, so next he went to “Gift.”

As a streamer living on the edge of poverty, naturally his inventory contained nothing, so he could only buy something on the spot.

When he opened the gift page, it was of course dazzling, with gifts at every price range.

At the moment, Song Hao had 13 RMB and 37,500 qian in hand, so he started browsing generously from the top. In the end, he picked a crystal red coral ornament. Before the comments could stop him, he had already clicked confirm. Price: 12 RMB.

〖Wen Qing: This is too valuable.

Xuanyuan Hao: Keep it. I bought it especially to give to you.

Wen Qing: All right.

※ Wen Qing favorability +20〗

In front of the camera, Song Hao put on the act of an overbearing CEO, cheekbones raised, utterly pleased with himself.

[Do you really have to spend it all?]

[Only one yuan left [lights cigarette]]

[Couldn’t you just go through the motions and give a 100-qian gift?]

[What exactly are you so happy about???]

[I’m kind of breaking down, brothers]

[Hold strong, there’s more explosive stuff coming later]

[Kiss, hug, and sleep haven’t been tried yet]

[Ahhhhhhhhh]

[Bro Sweet Potato has already defected]

[This place is straight-man hell]

[Heaven~~~]

[yes! I’m ready!]

[Hehehehehe]

[It is a great honor to witness big bro and sister-in-law’s bridal chamber, thank you big bro]

[Very polite of you]

〖Kiss…

Right before Song Hao clicked it, he glanced at the camera.

[Why are you looking at me, look at sister-in-law]

[What’s wrong?]

[So are you starting or not? (cracks sunflower seeds)]

Song Hao turned off game screen sharing. Now all the viewers could see was a black screen.

[???]

[Did it freeze? I can’t see anything]

[+1 same here]

In the camera view, light and shadow shifted across Song Hao’s face, which clearly meant he was still playing the game.

[He’s not seriously refusing to let us watch, is he?]

[Nani?]

[Look at him grinning stupidly, he’s obviously still playing normally]

[Yeah, his hand is still moving, and you can still hear the mouse clicks]

[Bro! I can’t see it, bro!]

On camera, Song Hao paused for a moment, then turned his head somewhat awkwardly and covered half his face with one hand. After a while, as though he had finally prepared himself mentally, the rapid clicking of the mouse started again.

[Big Sweet Potato, this is bad sportsmanship, waaaah I’m crying]

[What is this, a wedding-night reaction stream?]

[I want to crash the bridal chamber! Let me in!]

[If you’ve got the guts to livestream it, then have the guts to show the screen!]

[What exactly is there that I as a paying user am not allowed to see! Say something!]

[Thanks bro]

[Streamer’s a real brother [free flower x1]]

[Still clutch at the critical moment]

[Not equal to others in being gay, but still a gentleman]

[[hands together][hands together][hands together]]

About five minutes later, Song Hao finally turned screen sharing back on.

The only thing visible on the game screen was the lowered bed curtains, and the dialogue box read: “Red candles, warm curtains, a good night’s sleep.”

“I was worried there might be some explicit content and the livestream would get banned, so I tested the waters first. Actually there wasn’t anything you couldn’t watch.”

[That’s what you’re going to use to fool me? [smile]]

[I didn’t see anything at all!]

[What is this, marrying a wife and forgetting the matchmaker]

[I’m very disappointed! Did you hear me? I’m very disappointed!]

[Reload the save and let me watch!]

“…I forgot to save.”

[…]

[Hahahahaha what goes around comes around!]

[You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You just didn’t want anyone else seeing sister-in-law?]

[Perfectly reasonable suspicion of possessiveness]

[The streamer is falling for him]

“The streamer is sleepy. The streamer should go to bed. Good night~”

Song Hao said goodbye to the viewers in the livestream and shut it off before the flood of condemning comments could arrive first.

Yo, another day of not getting yelled at~

Before shutting the computer down, he remembered something he had seen in the comments. This game was going to shut down again in half a month.

Song Hao searched the recent news, and sure enough, Dynasty’s official account had announced that the servers would go offline in half a month. To thank the players for their love, they had specially launched commemorative merchandise. Players could customize merch based on the CGs they had unlocked in-game. Fifteen-day preorder, free shipping over 188.

Only half a month left…

Song Hao had already been playing for more than two months. It could be said that ever since he quit his job cold turkey, he had been playing this game. As regularly as going to work, the game had almost become his main life. After this long, he really was a little reluctant to let it go.

He opened the game’s CG gallery. Because he was zero-spend, the number of CGs he had was pitifully small. One fixed CG for every death, one for placing first in the imperial exams, one for returning victoriously to court, one for becoming Crown Prince, and one for getting married.

Naturally, the wedding one was the best-looking. The image showed Wen Qing wearing wedding robes. The clothing and headpiece were a bit too extravagant, so much so that he was almost buried in jewels. But at a single glance, the thing that drew the eye most was still his face. He was smiling gently, looking toward the one who approached. His cheeks were faintly red, almost as if rouge had been applied, though Song Hao felt it looked more like the flush of shyness.

The shopping page was still showing the mock-up effect. A fifty-centimeter hanging scroll, when unrolled from top and bottom, revealed Wen Qing in his wedding robes. Price: 59, not including shipping. Shipping fee: 12.

After playing this long, buying a little souvenir wasn’t too excessive, right?

The wedding robes alone had already cost 79, and they were only worn once. What a waste.

Subconsciously, Song Hao looked toward the lower left corner, the place where comments appeared during the livestream. But he had already ended the stream, so the lower left corner was completely empty.

Anyway… no one would know.

Fifty centimeters was actually pretty big.

I’ll just buy one.

Song Hao pulled out his phone, sneaky as a thief, and clicked buy.

〖※ Congratulations, you have successfully paid 71 yuan〗