DPLO Chapter 3

That evening, I met Han Jio separately. The place was a pasta restaurant near the campus back gate. Meeting a man other than Kang Euihyun at a time when I barely had enough time to study for exams was something I couldn’t have imagined until just a few days ago.

“I didn’t expect you to contact me so quickly.”

When Han Jio beamed, his eyes almost disappeared. I wondered if that was the kind of face I made when I smiled at Kang Euihyun.

“It’s exam period; I hope I’m not putting too much pressure on you. Do you have a lot to study?”

“I’m a freshman, so it’s okay. We haven’t covered that much material yet.”

“Ah, you’re a freshman?”

Han Jio said he was twenty five. I thought of Kang Euihyun, who was the same age. Associating everything with Kang Euihyun was an old habit.

“You can speak comfortably with me.” 

I suggested it first. Han Jio seemed flustered by the fact that I was younger than he expected. Watching the man hesitate, I felt the superiority I now held. The anxiety that always chased me whenever I was with Kang Euihyun vanished in front of Han Jio.

“Then you can speak comfortably too, Chaewon.”

“I’ll take it slow. Once we get a bit closer.”

I curved the corners of my eyes, mimicking Kang Euihyun’s relaxed demeanor. It wasn’t difficult. After all, the one with the deeper feelings is always the one who is anxious. The opponent wasn’t Kang Euihyun, and therefore, I was far removed from the subordinate position.

The meal with Han Jio wasn’t bad. It was comfortable because he tailored everything to me. It wasn’t my responsibility to keep the conversation going by asking various questions or to read the other person’s expression.

“Thank you for the meal. It was delicious.”

I greeted Han Jio, who had finished paying, and stepped out of the restaurant. Then, I froze as I spotted someone standing a few steps away from the exit.

In the darkness where the light of the sign didn’t reach, Kang Euihyun was waiting for me, his hands shoved into his pants pockets.

“I’ll buy you something even tastier next time. We can go somewhere further away from campus.”

Han Jio spoke while looking only at me, unaware of Kang Euihyun’s presence. He seemed oblivious to the fact that Kang Euihyun’s gaze was scanning him like an X ray.

I turned my head to look at Han Jio, who had played along so diligently today. It was only right to be grateful to the person who had played a part in grating on Kang Euihyun’s nerves.

“Yes. Please buy me something delicious again after exams, oppa.”

At the word “oppa,” Han Jio looked bashful once more. The man’s face, which revealed his inner thoughts so clearly, felt foreign. Even now, Kang Euihyun was watching me with an expressionless face.

“Are you taking the subway home? Should I walk you to the station?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m meeting a friend for a bit.”

“Ah, then…”

Fortunately, Han Jio wasn’t lacking in intuition. As I turned my body away, he realized it was time to part ways. I could feel his regret in the way he waved awkwardly.

I walked straight past Kang Euihyun. I immediately felt a presence following me. The man’s long legs easily caught up to my pace. His firm forearm brushed against me slightly and then pulled away.

“How was it?”

Kang Euihyun asked quietly. I had been prepared for a question like this.

“He was okay.”

“Does he have a gluttonous streak?”

But the next question was unexpected. I had been firmly determined not to look at Kang Euihyun, but I couldn’t help but turn back to him with a puzzled expression.

“I’m asking if he ate greedily or tried to take food from your plate.”

Kang Euihyun kindly explained the meaning of his question.

“Nothing like that happened.”

“How is his talkativeness? Is he noisy?”

“He seems just… ordinary.”

I couldn’t shake the impression that Kang Euihyun was steering the answers in a negative direction. Consequently, I ended up sounding like I was defending Han Jio.

“How old is he?”

Kang Euihyun’s questions didn’t stop.

“Twenty five.”

“He’s too old.”

A hollow laugh escaped me. As I left the alley and stepped onto the main road, I looked up at Kang Euihyun.

“He’s the same age as you, oppa.”

“Exactly.”

“Then what do you mean by ‘too old’?”

“When you were in elementary school, I was in high school. That man is the same.”

“We’re all adults now, so what does that matter?”

Kang Euihyun gripped my elbow and brought me to a halt. Remembering how he had led Jeong Sujin in this manner yesterday, my mood plummeted instantly.

“Ride in oppa’s car.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Go give Jeong Sujin a ride instead.”

My ears didn’t miss the small sigh Kang Euihyun let out. My temples throbbed from the tension that revolved solely around Kang Euihyun. I shook my arm to break free from his grip.

“Then take a taxi comfortably. I’ll give you the money.”

“You know I don’t want to go home early.”

This was the fundamental reason why I didn’t even want to take a taxi. Even if I went home early, the only things welcoming me were a silence so heavy that the sound of clothes brushing together felt loud, and the hazy figure of my mother. Even if I had grown accustomed to it over three years, I still hated it.

So, I planned to take the subway and kill time at a cafe in front of my house, returning home as late as possible. I was almost glad that it was exam period so I had something to study; that was how much I didn’t want to stay in that house.

“Is Dokyeom still not coming home much?”

Kang Euihyun mentioned the uncomfortable name. My only remaining family member in this world was practically living at the house of a girlfriend he had recently made. In that large house, I was alone, no, just me and my dead mother. Knowing full well who his younger sister had been left with, Yoo Dokyeom kept fleeing to someone else’s house to avoid the suffocating weight of responsibility.

“What do you expect from Yoo Dokyeom?”

A cold, mocking laugh escaped my nose. The eyes of Kang Euihyun, looking down at me, sank into darkness. He was carrying a guilt that even my own biological brother didn’t feel.

“Alright. Call me if anything happens.”

Inwardly, I had hoped Kang Euihyun might offer to go home with me. However, the man stepped back from his role as my guardian, leaving only a convenient reminder.

Immediately after my parents passed away, he was the person who visited our house every single day. When I was studying for the CSAT, there were times he stayed up all night with me in my room.  But after I received my college acceptance letter, Kang Euihyun drew a thick line and didn’t cross it. Even if he walked me to the front of the house, he never entered; he strictly maintained that boundary.

Did he mean that since I was now grown, I should figure out how to overcome the adversity of being left alone on my own?

Then again, since he was neither family nor a lover, he had no obligation to look after me. If he had felt responsibility for a girl with not a drop of shared blood for three years simply because he was Yoo Dokyeom’s close friend, it was about time he became free.

“I’m going.”

I left a short goodbye to Kang Euihyun and turned away. Vowing that I wouldn’t be dialing his number tonight either, I descended the stairs of the subway station.

I had to diligently practice handing Kang Euihyun over to Jeong Sujin starting now.