SMMW | Chapter 19

What was it that made a livestream room of seven thousand people fall silent all at once?

Song Hao had his head lowered, using a nail clipper to trim the nails on his left hand, little by little, carefully and seriously. First he trimmed the length, leaving the remaining nail slightly above the nail bed, with a thin white edge left behind. Then he clipped off the hangnails. Finally, he polished the edges of the nail. Only after going through the full process did one finger count as finished.

On the 3D game screen on the computer, one little character was tossing another one up and catching him again, looking very happy.

〖Yuan Hao: 2000!

…

Yuan Hao: I’m rich!

…〗

The comment section also seemed to have nothing to say, and with perfect tacit understanding, they all typed ellipses.

[……]

[……]

[……]

[……]

[……]

After finishing his left hand, Song Hao shifted the nail clipper to a different position and started trimming his right hand.

On the computer screen, the little character who was being thrown up looked a little frightened. When he was caught the fourth time, he wrapped himself tightly around the little character below and refused to let go.

〖Wen Qing: Yuan… Yuan Hao!

Yuan Hao: Hahahahahahahahaha〗

The comment section still had nothing to say and continued with ellipses.

[……]

[……]

[……]

[……]

[……]

Song Hao finally finished trimming his nails, then pulled out a pack of wet wipes from who knew where and started wiping down his earphone cord.

Only then did the comment section finally lose its patience.

[That’s about enough, hey]

[When people panic, they pretend to be very busy]

[Care to explain?]

[Excuse me, what exactly is this? [smile]]

[That year, in the faint drizzle among apricot blossoms, you said you were straight]

Song Hao glanced at the screen. One little character was hugging the other, no longer playing the tossing game. They looked at each other, then kept hugging.

What is this? How would I know what this is!? If you ask me, who am I supposed to ask!!!

Song Hao raised both hands in front of the camera like a criminal hoping for leniency through confession. “I don’t know. You all saw it. I was trimming my nails. I never touched the keyboard or the mouse at all.”

[What are you pretending to be innocent for? Weren’t you the one who farmed the affection?]

[Weren’t you the one who negotiated the price?]

[Weren’t you the one who gave the gifts?]

[Weren’t you the one who agreed to stay at the Wen residence?]

[Weren’t you the one who triggered the plot?]

Song Hao cried injustice at the top of his lungs. “I just got back from escorting goods and normally tried to see whether there was any plot I could trigger. Didn’t he give me 2000? Then… then the character got happy, so what if he gave him a hug? That’s normal, right?”

[Is this normal?]

[We straight guys don’t cling to our bros and refuse to let go]

[He’s still hugging him right now]

[It’s been going on for a long time]

[On the entire internet, only you managed to trigger a plot like this]

[Yeah, I remember physical interaction animations only existed for female characters]

[He must’ve raised Wen Qing’s affection way too high]

[Bold of you, that’s sister-in-law!]

[Before, I didn’t insist on correcting you, but at a time like this, if you still don’t call him that, then that’s on you]

[True male sister-in-law]

Song Hao scratched his head anxiously. “Stop making memes. 2000, okay? That’s enough for me to farm stats. I could straight-up call him godfather for that, so what’s wrong with one hug?”

[For 2000, offering yourself isn’t too much]

[You can be father and son, but not husband and wife]

[Touch your conscience and say this is brotherhood]

[Can’t touch it, because your heart is over with sister-in-law]

[Why doesn’t socialist brotherhood count as brotherhood?]

[Good! We independent women need this kind of quality meal to have the strength to keep striving! [sports car x1]]

[No more words, here’s my wedding gift [heart x9]]

[Wishing you a hundred years of harmony [rose bouquet x1]]

[Happy wedding [fireworks x9]]

[I’ll provide the house. You can’t keep living off sister-in-law’s family forever [villa x1]]

A villa, the most expensive gift that had ever appeared in the livestream, cost 599, and Song Hao could get nearly 300 yuan from it. The boss had made a generous move, so even though Song Hao was in a hurry to explain, he still had to thank them first.

“Thanks, boss, for the villa. But this really is a very normal harem-game livestream.” The more Song Hao spoke, the smaller his voice became. Even he himself was no longer confident.

[Shh, no explanation needed [lollipop x3]]

[What we want is pure and natural, no need for you to perform [heart x9]]

[Don’t mind us, just play your game [sunglasses x1]]

[Watching straight guys in the comments lose it is so hilarious hahahahahaha [yellow duck x1]]

[Check Wen Qing’s affection level [hot air balloon x1]]

Since the boss had said so, of course he had to do it. Fortunately, the two little characters on the screen had already separated. Thank heavens.

〖Female Affection Values: Xing’er 9, Mu Ziyi 5, Yun Ling 4.5, Kong Mengxue 2, Lou Xiaoyu 1…

Male Affection Values: Wen Qing 99, Huang Zhan 12, Zou Hui -30…〗

[Hard-capped at 99, there’s no way it can go up anymore]

[What a pity…]

[So it’s an angst romance script]

[Still shippable though]

[Zou Hui still hates him just as much hahaha]

[See? You can’t be gay!]

[It goes against the laws of heaven, so it just won’t work~]

[I’m camping in this stream, I’m definitely going to see the streamer get married]

[The streamer said he’d marry once he became a prince, I have the screen recording]

[Maybe sister-in-law will still be the best man hahaha]

[Tch, just the final stubborn resistance of a straight guy]

[The highest female affection is only 9, marriage is still far away]

[The minimum for a wedding is 5000, the streamer won’t be able to get married]

[Lmao, wedding, wedding outfit, betrothal gifts, none of them can be done on zero top-up. The game will shut down before the streamer gets married]

[Just spend your whole life with Wen Qing~]

Song Hao looked like a spineless husband caught between two sides, watching the comment section argue back and forth without any way to stop them.

“I’m continuing the game now,” he shouted, though who knew whether anyone in the comments was listening.

There were now 2000 qian on hand, which meant he could train martial arts ten times, spend two months, and get 30 attribute points. That would bring his Martial Arts to 40. With the remaining time, he could casually make a little money or meditate, and he would definitely reach 50.

It was now the second month. Because he had returned in time, there were still three action chances left this month. The task time limit was six months, and he still had four months and three actions left. Clearing the stage was absolutely possible.

Song Hao did not go out to spend the money right away. Instead, he chose to meditate to reduce his Fatigue.

There were still two action chances left this month.

〖A pageboy stood at the doorway and reported, “Yuan-juren, there is an invitation card for you. A scholar calling himself Mu Ziyi wishes to invite you and Young Master to Wenxi Pavilion for a poetry gathering. He has already been invited into the main hall, and Young Master is there as well.”

Yuan Hao: All right, I’ll go take a look.

Inside the main hall, when Mu Ziyi saw you arrive, he warmly greeted you, “Brother Yuan, long time no see. I heard this poetry gathering is grander than ever before. The Eldest Prince has even been invited. We absolutely have to go join the excitement.”

Your choices are: Accept / Refuse / Consider〗

“The Eldest Prince? My big brother. Then I definitely have to go have a look. But this place seems pretty expensive, right? The entrance fee is 300 or 500… better save first. This is the first time I’ve seen ‘consider’ as an option, so let’s try it.”

〖Consider〗

〖Yuan Hao thought to himself, the metropolitan exam is close at hand, yet the prince is making such a big commotion and privately associating with examinees. Is he not afraid of arousing suspicion? Or is there some other hidden motive?

But poetry gatherings are rare. If he could make some connections, it would be very helpful for the future. It truly was a difficult choice.

※ Intelligence +1

Seeing that Yuan Hao had not agreed, Mu Ziyi could not help urging, “What concerns does Brother Yuan have? Could it be that you’re worried you won’t be able to get in? There’s no need to worry about that. I already made all the arrangements. If the two worthy brothers hadn’t helped me that day, I would’ve long since been dragged back home. It’s truly rare that my family is willing to let me take the exam now, so I was just thinking of repaying the two of you.”

Your choices are: Accept / Refuse〗

“Oh, come on, you should’ve said that earlier. If you’d said that earlier, I would’ve agreed ages ago. I remember now, a poetry gathering gives 10 Literary Talent in one go. With those 10 points added on, my Literary Talent will finally hit the requirement. Nice!”

Song Hao analyzed while looking at his status panel.

〖Accept〗

〖Yuan Hao: It’s hard to refuse such kindness. Then many thanks, Ziyi. Allow me to return to my room and change clothes, and then we’ll go together.

Mu Ziyi: Good, good, good. Brother Wen already agreed to me too, so the three of us can go together as companions.

※ When scholars associate, those dressed in refined elegance are often the most welcome〗

“This reminder is basically useless. Don’t I only have those few outfits?”

Song Hao opened the wardrobe. There were only four outfits total, not even enough to fill the first page.

Patched coarse-cloth blue robe, no attribute bonus

Jinping Prefecture scholar’s robe, no attribute bonus

Escort outfit, while worn reduces appearance by 30%

Outfit ‘Pine-Soot Dark Green,’ while worn Charm +5

It was already very obvious which one to wear.

〖Wearing outfit ‘Pine-Soot Dark Green,’ Charm +5〗

〖After Yuan Hao changed clothes and walked to the doorway, Mu Ziyi looked him up and down, then pointed at Wen Qing. Wen Qing was wearing an indigo-blue scholar’s robe, the same style as the one you had on.

Mu Ziyi smiled and said, “You two really are close~”

※ Reputation has changed〗

[You really are sooo close~]

[It’s over, that Longyang reputation can never be washed clean]

[……]

[Couple outfit [heart x10]]

[Who wouldn’t say they’re a pair]

〖The three of you arrived at Wenxi Pavilion together. Since everything had been arranged in advance, you entered smoothly.

Wenxi Pavilion was a tower. The fifth floor was the most open and spacious, and from the windows one could admire the surging river below. Literati and refined scholars loved composing poems and prose there.

It was said that the Eldest Prince was visiting today and had taken a seat on the fifth floor. Scholars scrambled to pay their respects, and by now the fifth floor was already packed with people. You could only settle for second best and find seats on the fourth floor.

Mu Ziyi: Since we’re already here, why not go up to the fifth floor and take a look at the prince?

Wen Qing: There are too many people. Staying on the fourth floor to admire the scenery is already quite nice.

Your choices are: Go to the fifth floor / Admire the scenery / Listen to gossip〗

“Let’s save first and go to the fifth floor to have a look.”

Song Hao pulled out the save-load trick once again.

〖Yuan Hao: Then let’s go to the fifth floor and have a look.

You and Mu Ziyi went together to the stairway entrance. Mu Ziyi was small and nimble, dodging left and right as he squeezed into the crowd. But because you were too big, people scolded you, saying things like, ‘What are you shoving for?’ and ‘Have you no manners?’ In the end, you failed to get upstairs.

※ Reputation -2〗

“I barely had any Reputation to begin with… next one, let’s listen to gossip.”

[??? What about admiring the scenery]

[So you’re avoiding suspicion, huh]

[Oh wow, now that you’ve got money, you’re going to abandon sister-in-law]

[That’s normal too, I guess. With your reputation this bad, you won’t be able to take the exam]

[Ptui, scumbag]

〖Yuan Hao: It’s my first time at Wenxi Pavilion, so I’d like to stroll around casually.

You walked over to where a crowd had gathered and listened to them talk.

“The Eldest Prince has always liked associating with scholars. What’s so strange about that?”

“The Second Prince is born of the empress. He prides himself on his noble status and has never liked mixing with small fry like us.”

“Establishing the heir…”

“Shh, do you have a death wish?”

“The emperor has few children and absolutely hates brothers turning against one another. Even the two princes have to pretend to be harmonious, so what nonsense are you saying?”

“I heard ministers have been submitting memorials this whole time, requesting that the crown prince be established.”

“It’ll probably happen within these next few years. The emperor’s health hasn’t been very good…”

※ Intelligence +3〗

“Not bad, those are pretty good stats. Intelligence is pretty rare.”

Song Hao sorted through the information he had gathered and came to a conclusion:

“These two older brothers are my competition. The Eldest Prince likes hanging around with literati and doesn’t put on much airs. The Second Prince is the legitimate son and is very arrogant.”

“My dad’s health is failing, and he’s about to establish the crown prince, so after I’m acknowledged, my task will definitely be to become crown prince.”

“And then my dad has few children and likes kind people, so my reputation can’t be too bad.”

[You’ve analyzed a lot, and all of it is right, so when are you going to admire the scenery]

[Sister-in-law is waiting]

[Admire the scenery admire the scenery admire the scenery]

[You’re not feeling guilty, are you?]

[He definitely has a guilty conscience]

Song Hao really did want to muddle through and skip it. He was afraid another scene he could not clean up would appear again. After the comment section hit the nail on the head without mercy, he could only brace himself and deny it stubbornly. “I don’t. We’re just doing them one by one. I’m about to admire the scenery right now.”

〖Yuan Hao: There really are too many people. I’ll stay on the fourth floor too.

Mu Ziyi: All right, then I’ll go by myself.

You and Wen Qing sat on the fourth floor admiring the scenery. The waves on the water rose and fell. After taking it all in, you only felt your mind open up, as if you had gained some new understanding.

※ Literary Talent +5, Intelligence +2〗

[My sister-in-law is still as blessed as ever]

[Holy shit, are these stats even reasonable? Is being gay really this promising?]

[That’s way too much, isn’t it!?]

[Loving your wife is the secret to a successful man]

[Aren’t these stats way better than listening to gossip?]

The stats really were very high. Song Hao had to admit that choosing ‘Admire the scenery’ was the best option. Petty as he was, he did not say a word about it. Instead, he started poking around to see whether he could trigger any new plot.

Poke the pastries, he could eat them, but there were no stats.

Poke the teapot, the teapot wobbled around, but did not tip over.

Poke the passerby, the passerby cursed him for not having eyes.

Poke Wen Qing… he did not dare poke Wen Qing. The livestream room was a bit awkward right now. One group wanted to see him go down the harem route, while another wanted to see him go gay.

The truth was, he only wanted to clear the game. He did not want to offend either side, so he could only try his best to keep the balance.

〖Mu Ziyi: I’m back! Quick, quick, quick, give me some water.

Wen Qing handed the teacup to Mu Ziyi, who gulped it all down in one go.

Mu Ziyi: You two have no idea how crowded the fifth floor is, people stacked on top of people. You could barely move at all. I desperately craned and craned to see, and in the end I finally saw the Eldest Prince’s… headpiece.

Wen Qing: …

Yuan Hao: …

Mu Ziyi: Huh? Why aren’t either of you talking? Don’t you want to ask anything?

Wen Qing: …What did the headpiece look like?

Yuan Hao: If you didn’t see anything, what is there to ask?

Mu Ziyi: I did see him! I saw his face several times, it’s just… it was too far away, so I couldn’t see clearly. The Eldest Prince, he, ah, is very fair, um… and his hair is very long.

Wen Qing: …

Yuan Hao: …

Mu Ziyi: I really did see him. He had two eyes, and just… just from far away, he looked a lot like Yuan Hao!

Wen Qing: He looks like Yuan Hao?

Yuan Hao: Right, because I’m also a prince.

Mu Ziyi: I’m being serious! Looking from far away, his facial features were faintly very similar.

Wen Qing: …I see.

Yuan Hao: Let’s go. Don’t mind him.

Mu Ziyi: Aiya, believe me. I was that far away, so how could I see clearly? Don’t leave, don’t leave! There are still more itinerary events afterward. I already arranged them all.

Your choices are: Listen to him / Leave مباشرة〗

“Pretty funny. Let’s choose to listen to him. After all, he’s a sponsor. I can pick up stats for free.”

[He’s still that frugal]

[The appeal of the word ‘free’ to the streamer]

[Two sponsors now~]

[Develop this one instead, there’s hope. She can even dress as a man and take the imperial exam, so her background definitely isn’t low]

[Yeah, and the personality is really cute too]

[Support monogamy]

〖Listen to him〗

〖Mu Ziyi sneakily pulled the two of you into a secluded corner. After seeing that no one was around, he finally spoke in an awkward, bashful way. “Let’s go visit a brothel?”

Yuan Hao: …How old are you, exactly?

Wen Qing: This corrupts all decency! I’m leaving first.

Mu Ziyi: Hey, hey, hey, not that kind. We’d just be listening to music and watching dancing. We’d go during the day. I’m just curious and want to find someone to go with me. Otherwise, after the exam, I really won’t be able to go anymore.

Don’t worry, if you two are afraid of being recognized, you can pretend to be my guards. I’ll cover all the food, drink, and music-listening expenses!!!

Your choices are: Go / Don’t go〗

[Go!!!]

[If someone’s treating, of course you go]

[The time has come to prove you’re straight]

[Brothels can be used to build an intelligence network later, trust me, go. There are tons of pretty girls]

[Entrance fee 200, and seeing the top courtesan costs another 1000. If you don’t go this time, there won’t be another chance later]

“That’s a lot of money… then let’s go.” Song Hao thought about it. There was no way he could ever scrape together 1200 to visit a brothel, so he might as well broaden his horizons.

〖Go〗

〖Yuan Hao: If we’re pretending to be guards… then we can go take a look.

Wen Qing: Huh?

Mu Ziyi: That’s great! Brother Wen, what about you?

Wen Qing: I… I’ll go too, then.

Mu Ziyi: Oh, oh, oh! I’ll go call for the carriage, you two wait here!

Mu Ziyi left.

Wen Qing: Brother Yuan, perhaps… we really shouldn’t go to a brothel. With the metropolitan exam so close, it won’t be good if it leaves people with something to talk about.

Yuan Hao: We’re only going during the day to listen to music. It’ll be fine.〗

“Don’t say it, but Wen Qing’s analysis actually makes sense. Just the two of us wearing matching outfits already changed our Reputation. Going to a brothel definitely has a trap in it too. It’s safer to change outfits first. I’ll wear my crappy escort outfit.” For the first time, Song Hao felt that the clothes his master had given him were useful. Appearance -30% was basically the same as a disguise.

He clicked clothing, changed outfits, and two seconds later, the escort outfit was on.

Looking back at the game screen, Wen Qing was standing two steps away from him with a tense and somewhat angry expression, holding something yellow in his hand.

Song Hao had itchy hands. Without even thinking, he clicked it, and he really did take it.

〖Obtained Peace Talisman x1〗

“Peace Talisman?” Song Hao checked the item description. It said, ‘Putuo Temple talisman paper, praying for peace, for freedom from illness and disaster.’ Quite auspicious. It could also be clicked to use.

Song Hao clicked it decisively. On the game screen, the little character representing Yuan Hao tucked the peace talisman into his clothes and even patted it, indicating that he had put it away properly.

〖※ Physique +1〗

“Oh, this is good. An unexpected bonus.”

How nice. He could always fleece something from Wen Qing. Song Hao was delighted, having completely forgotten that earlier he had still been trying to keep his distance from him.

Looking at Wen Qing again, when the talisman paper was taken, he had been flustered and scrambling. After Song Hao tucked the talisman into his clothes, Wen Qing stopped moving, only opening and closing his mouth. There was no dialogue box, so there was no way to know what he was saying.

There really was true feeling in this world. Since the other party was treating him with sincerity, he could not be too heartless either.

Song Hao thought, if going into a brothel might lower Reputation for him, then it would be the same for Wen Qing. If only Wen Qing also had an ugly outfit.

He opened the clothing shop and filtered by attributes. Sure enough, he found a ‘Butcher Outfit’ that could reduce appearance, priced at 30 qian, and when worn it reduced appearance by 50%.

Not bad. Very good. Whether it was the price or the attributes, it was excellent.

Song Hao directly made a grand full-payment move, then clicked Wen Qing and chose gift.

〖Wen Qing: …〗

“He doesn’t look like he likes it very much.”

[More than just doesn’t like it]

[He looks like he wants to cry]

[Repaying kindness with resentment. He gives you a peace talisman, and you give him ugly clothes]

[Was there really no more decent way to handle this?]

[You finally go to a brothel once and both of you deliberately make yourselves ugly]

After a while, Wen Qing seemed to have finished his mental preparation.

〖Wen Qing: I’m going to find a room to change. I’m absolutely not changing casually in the courtyard.〗

“Then go find one.” Song Hao scratched his face and started asking the comment section for help. “What does that last line mean? It sounds kind of sarcastic, but I can’t quite understand it.”

[Don’t know]

[No interest in analyzing what men are thinking]

[If you’d put this much thought into the female characters, it wouldn’t be possible that none of them have affection over 10]

[Does it just mean he’s particular?]

[Stop wasting time and hurry up to the brothel]

Very soon, Wen Qing came out after changing. 30 qian, cheap and effective, and at first glance he really was hard to recognize.

The indigo scholar’s robe had been changed into a dirt-brown short jacket. The rolled-up sleeves were stained with grime. On his head was a tattered hat. On his face was a prickly fake beard plus a scar. It really did achieve the appearance -50% effect.

Clothes really did make the man. Clearly his face and build had not changed at all, but once the outfit changed, the whole person felt different. Seen from a distance, he looked very fierce. Seen from up close, he even looked a little pitiful.

“Hahahahahahahahaha…” Song Hao laughed wildly, and the comment section laughed wildly too.

[Hahahahahahahahaha]

[Now that really is brotherhood hahaha]

[Hahahaha]

[Can’t call him sister-in-law now hahaha]

[Hahahahahahaha]

“Hahahahahahahahaha, but if you look closely, hahahahahaha, he’s even kind of cute, hahahahahaha…”

[Hahahahahahaha, huh?]

[?]

[What did he just say?]

[Hahahahahahahahahahahaha]

[Stop laughing upstairs!]

[Did he say cute? Huh?]

[I heard cute too]

[Is that right?]

[???]

[Where is the cute? Where?]

[Brother Sweet Potato is really not right in the head anymore]

[You just realized?]

[Huh? I thought everyone was just joking]

[[facepalm]]

[Cute, huh. Sure, cute. Heh heh]

〖Mu Ziyi bounced in happily, glancing left and right as he searched for people.

Mu Ziyi: Brother Yuan! Brother Wen! The carriage is waiting right outside. Let’s go… ?

Yuan Hao: We’re over here.

Mu Ziyi: ?

Yuan Hao: We’re guards, so it’s better if we look the part.

Mu Ziyi: Oh…

The carriage traveled for two ke, and you successfully arrived at the brothel. The strange combination of ‘little scholar + escort + butcher’ attracted a lot of attention.

Mu Ziyi pulled out his money pouch and went straight into a high-class private room.

The madam of the house came over smiling broadly to receive the guests and asked Mu Ziyi which young lady he wanted to perform.

“Yingying is skilled at singing, Adie is skilled at dancing, and top courtesan Zhujin is even more accomplished in qin, chess, calligraphy, and painting. She can also compose poetry to add to the fun.”

Mu Ziyi flung the money pouch onto the table and said grandly, “Call them all!”

The madam opened it and took one look inside. Her face instantly filled with utterly sincere delight. “Yes, yes, yes, I’ll call them all over. Today I’ll definitely make sure Young Master enjoys himself~”〗

“Holy shit…” Song Hao’s face was full of envy. “So this is what rich people are like. Having money is so great.”

[The joy of the whales]

[Official: Top up~ top up~ top up~]

[Getting these three together costs 2000]

[Streamer, streamer, these three can also be romanced. Come often, then farm affection, then pay the redemption fee]

[I was going to say don’t leak攻略, but it’s fine, you’re overestimating him]

[Hahahahaha his poverty is famous far and wide]

[I’ll give you a number. The top courtesan costs 100,000]

[An astronomical sum]

〖You and Wen Qing sat off to one side, watching the three girls standing in the hall. One danced, one sang, and one played the qin. In addition, there were several other girls as well, one pouring wine, one picking up food for him, one massaging his shoulders. All of them circled around Mu Ziyi, and the corners of Mu Ziyi’s mouth never came down for a second.

He enjoyed himself for quite a while and finally seemed to remember that he still had two brothers sitting off to the side on the cold bench.

Mu Ziyi gave a grand wave of his hand and said to the madam, “Find two attendants for my guards too~”

He shook his head and swayed around, his gaze sweeping over the two of you, and with excitement and mischief in his tone, he said, “No girls, call a few young gentlemen over to keep them company!”〗