LBC |Love Beyond Control/Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Xin Yuan felt that everything seemed like a dream. Because of Xiang Zhufeng’s accidental ball, he was knocked into the hospital, and then, by another twist of fate, he met a top-notch director.

Wang Muge did not reveal too many details. She only outlined the background and the characters’ traits, then listed more than twenty related books for Xin Yuan, telling him to prepare properly.

If he passed the audition three months later, he would become the last newcomer Wang Muge personally brought up.

It was only when Xin Yuan went to the library to borrow books that he learned Xiang Zhufeng was actually a part-time librarian.

And as the only person who knew about this good news, Xiang Zhufeng was obviously even more excited than Xin Yuan.

“Just write out the book titles directly. I’ll find them and bring them to you.”

Xiang Zhufeng slipped out from the work desk, brought Xin Yuan to an inconspicuous spot, and lowered his voice, “This is the quietest place, and you can still get sunlight. If you want to come in the future, tell me in advance. I’ll keep it for you.”

After speaking, he kept looking at Xin Yuan while walking backward. Only after Xin Yuan sat down in the spot he recommended did he flash a big grin.

The library was very quiet. Rows upon rows of shelves were packed tightly with books, everyone had their heads down doing their own things, and even time seemed to have come to a stop.

So at that moment, Xiang Zhufeng’s smile became the only moving thing in the entire world.

Xin Yuan sat there, but his heart felt as if it had just run several thousand meters and then suddenly stopped, beating so hard that even his chest was trembling.

For the next period of time, aside from classes, Xin Yuan came to the library every day.

Although finals were approaching, Xin Yuan always had the most suitable seat. Sometimes, before he even arrived, there were already snacks waiting on the table for him.

One day, Xin Yuan was reading a scanned original book from the Republic of China period, which was about the theater system at that time. But because the layout was vertical traditional characters, it was truly hard to read. After only a few pages, he started using his pen to poke at his temple.

After finally enduring until lunchtime, Xin Yuan walked into the cafeteria weakly. Xiang Zhufeng suddenly appeared from nowhere and tapped Xin Yuan on the back of the head.

“Come over here, I already got the dishes for you. They’re all things you like.”

Over the past few weeks together, Xiang Zhufeng had already figured out Xin Yuan’s shy personality. He deliberately sent a bunch of his buddies away and found a separate seat.

Even though he had eaten face-to-face with Xiang Zhufeng a few times, Xin Yuan still subconsciously kept his head down, using the tip of his chopsticks to poke the dishes in his bowl little by little.

By the time Xiang Zhufeng had almost finished eating, Xin Yuan still had barely started.

“Xiang Zhufeng, my arm has already had the stitches removed, and the doctor said I’m fine too. You don’t need to keep helping me anymore…”

“It’s just a small thing,” Xiang Zhufeng interrupted Xin Yuan’s polite words, “I just saw you always getting cut in line. In this weather, by the time it’s your turn, the food would already be cold.”

Xin Yuan pressed his lips together, lowering his head even more.

Xiang Zhufeng quickly finished all the food on his tray, then went to get a bowl of free soup and sat back down, saying, “The book you were reading today had the right edition, but the content wasn’t very good. I’ve seen a better one before, I’ll find it for you in a bit.”

Xin Yuan’s chopsticks froze in midair. He blinked. “Aren’t you studying business management and law? How do you even know this too?”

“Back when I helped people sign in to make money, I sat in on a few drama studies classes. They happened to cover this content, so I still remember a little. I’ll organize the key points for you too later.”

Xin Yuan didn’t say anything and didn’t eat either. He stared blankly at Xiang Zhufeng, and even Xiang Zhufeng’s ears started to feel a little itchy from being looked at like that.

“Don’t keep looking at me with such an admiring expression. I’m practically about to float up from it.”

To be honest, at first Xiang Zhufeng helped Xin Yuan purely because he felt guilty.

But after spending this time together, he felt that Xin Yuan was a very comfortable person to be around. Even if he just stayed with him and said nothing at all, his heart could somehow become calm.

Especially since Xin Yuan also looked very obedient and well-behaved. Every time he looked into his eyes, Xiang Zhufeng could not help thinking of how he felt when feeding stray cats, and he always wanted to treat him a little better.

“Xiang Zhufeng, I want to ask, could I trouble you to help me with something…”

Xin Yuan lightly hooked his fingertips on the backpack strap. He knew Xiang Zhufeng had a lot going on, classes, tutoring, part-time work, being a part-time librarian, and helping the counselor with things too.

But besides Xiang Zhufeng, he couldn’t find a second person who could help, so he hesitated all the way until they reached the library entrance before speaking.

“Of course,” Xiang Zhufeng didn’t even ask what it was and blurted out, “When is it?”

Two days ago, Wang Muge’s assistant sent a message telling Xin Yuan to find a camera and casually record a video of himself. The content and length were both up to him, and the only requirement was that it be as natural as possible.

Xin Yuan took advantage of the dorm being empty and tried for a long time by himself, but the effect he recorded always felt very strange, shattering his already nonexistent confidence even more completely.

After hearing him out, Xiang Zhufeng thought for a few seconds, then took Xin Yuan’s arm. “Come with me, I’ll take you to a place.”

The elevator went all the way up to the top floor of the library. Xin Yuan had never been there before, and had no idea there was actually a wide rooftop terrace here.

“When I’m alone, I like coming here the most. Once the wind blows and the sun shines, I forget all myworries.”

Xiang Zhufeng leaned against the railing at the edge of the rooftop terrace. The noon sunlight fell on the ends of his hair, outlining his profile with a faint golden edge.

“Try filming here. See if you can relax a little.”

Xiang Zhufeng’s expression was very gentle, but for a moment Xin Yuan still felt that the light surrounding him was too dazzling, so dazzling that it stabbed his eyes and made him unable to see anything clearly.

“If there’s no camera filming you, and I’m just talking to you, would you be nervous?” Xiang Zhufeng asked.

Xin Yuan subconsciously nodded, then quickly shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Then imagine the camera is my eyes.”

Xiang Zhufeng took the camera from Xin Yuan’s hands, fiddled with it for a while, and held it up before his own eyes.

He probably hadn’t set the focus properly. Xin Yuan inside the lens suddenly enlarged dozens of times. The bright point of light focused on those clear, innocent eyes, and it made Xiang Zhufeng’s fingertips suddenly tremble.

“What’s wrong, is it very strange…”

Xin Yuan thought it was because he looked ugly on camera, and he lowered his head in frustration. “Otherwise, let’s forget it. I really might not be suited for this…”

Before, Xiang Zhufeng only thought Xin Yuan’s eyes were very big and very bright, so even though Xin Yuan’s whole face looked good, the first thing he noticed was still his eyes.

Every time they made eye contact, Xiang Zhufeng couldn’t help but wonder what could be used to describe those eyes.

But every time, before he could think of an answer, Xin Yuan would already lower his head like this and avoid his gaze.

Now he finally thought of it. It should be like water.

Like the moonlight reflected on the surface of water, and even more like the ripples of moonlight stirred by the wind brushing across the water.

All of that together was exactly his eyes at this moment.

“It’s not strange, it’s that you’re too good-looking.”

Xiang Zhufeng stared at Xin Yuan for a full ten seconds before speaking again.

“Xin Yuan, raise your head and look at me.”

Xin Yuan slowly lifted his eyes and saw Xiang Zhufeng gently press the shutter. His chest also instantly felt as if something had been pressed down on it, and his heartbeat once again lost its rhythm.

It seemed that in his whole life, he had never been this nervous before, even though at this moment, he was only looking at Xiang Zhufeng.

“If today were our first time meeting, what would you want to say to me?” Xiang Zhufeng asked behind the camera.

“I…”

Xin Yuan’s lips moved for a moment, then closed again.

Maybe he would say nothing at all, and only want to quietly look at you once.

“Then I’ll change the question,” Xiang Zhufeng said, slowly taking two steps back. “If this were our last time meeting, then?”

Xin Yuan immediately panicked, subconsciously rushing forward as if he wanted to pass through the camera and grab him.

But the more he stepped forward, the farther Xiang Zhufeng retreated. Just as the urgency in Xin Yuan’s eyes was about to break through the camera, Xiang Zhufeng finally stopped.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Xiang Zhufeng gave a light laugh and pressed pause on the camera.

“Your expression changes just now were especially natural. I think Director Wang Muge didn’t misjudge you. You might have been born for the camera.”

Xin Yuan flipped through the books Xiang Zhufeng had found for him, but in his mind, the earlier scene kept replaying. It felt as if the words on the pages were all flowing, piecing together into the instant when Xiang Zhufeng smiled at him.

It was only when He Ye’s call came in that Xin Yuan instantly calmed down.

“Mom, how…?”

On the other end of the phone, He Ye directly cut off Xin Yuan, “Your father and I are arriving in Shancheng soon. There’s a very important dinner tonight. Prepare yourself and come over.”

Before Xin Yuan could react, He Ye ordered again, “Remember to throw away those worthless ragged clothes of yours, tidy yourself up properly before coming, and don’t embarrass your father and me.”

Xiang Zhufeng had been busy for half the afternoon. When he came back after checking the library’s book-inventory catalog, Xin Yuan was already no longer at his seat.

Xiang Zhufeng drank the bottle of fresh milk he had brought for Xin Yuan, packed up for a moment, and set off for tutoring.

This semester he was tutoring three high school students, with grades ranging from good to poor. Today he was teaching the one with the best aptitude. Every time, Xiang Zhufeng couldn’t help but talk with him a bit longer, and by the time class ended, it was already ten at night.

The boy’s mother was also very nice. Knowing that Xiang Zhufeng’s school was far away, she would always press a little extra money into his hand so he could take a taxi. But in order to save a little more money, Xiang Zhufeng would still hurry to catch the last bus home.

Tonight there was probably a light snowfall, and the bus was moving a little more slowly than usual.

Xiang Zhufeng didn’t know when he had fallen asleep. When he opened his eyes again, there was only him left on the entire bus, and the stop for the school had already long since passed.

10:45 p.m.

There were only fifteen minutes left before curfew.

Xiang Zhufeng carried his bag and sprinted all the way across the wet streets.

Because the school did not provide housing for graduate students, Xiang Zhufeng had found a way to rent a bed in an undergraduate dormitory. But undergraduate dorm management was very strict. Once curfew was missed, he could only risk losing credits and climb over the wall to get in.

At eleven o’clock sharp, Xin Yuan stood inside He Ye’s suite.

In front of him was a stack of A4 paper half a book thick. Each sheet was printed with densely packed explanations of artworks. He Ye demanded that he memorize all of the content before 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Because tomorrow there was an art exhibition opening sponsored by Xin Jianye, and He Ye hoped he could speak at this occasion to help her win some face.

“You’ve already studied art history and theory for three years at such a good school. At the very least, you need to make some contribution on the surface, so your father knows the money he spent back then wasn’t wasted.”

As soon as the words fell, Xin Yuan’s phone rang.

Under He Ye’s cold gaze, Xin Yuan hesitated for a moment, but still secretly lowered the phone volume to the minimum and answered it to his ear.

At 11:25 p.m., with only the last traffic light left before the school’s back gate, Xin Yuan got out of the taxi early.

He ran for quite a while before he saw Xiang Zhufeng’s figure crouching by the roadside, blowing on his hands.

Xiang Zhufeng quickly saw him too and immediately stood up, looking full of surprise.

“Why did you run here from outside? At this hour, shouldn’t you be in the dormitory?”

Xiang Zhufeng hurried and hurried, but when he got to the gate, he was still a step late and could only call Xin Yuan, wanting him to help watch the back gate so he could secretly climb in.

But before Xin Yuan could speak, Xiang Zhufeng’s phone had already run out of battery and shut off.

Xin Yuan roughly guessed what had happened. Afraid that Xiang Zhufeng would wait alone for too long, he had no choice but to take a taxi over.

“Actually, I’ve been working part-time at the night market nearby tonight, so…”

On the way here, Xin Yuan had already thought up a reasonable explanation in advance.

Xiang Zhufeng did not doubt him. He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “It’s all my fault. I came to trouble you without figuring anything out.”

As he spoke, he took off his scarf and wrapped it around Xin Yuan’s neck. “Then you can’t run over here wearing so little. Your face is all red from the cold.”

It was only after Xiang Zhufeng pulled Xin Yuan close that he discovered Xin Yuan’s face was not simply red. There were also several obvious marks, and the corners of his eyes were wet too, like he had just finished crying not long ago.

“You?” Xiang Zhufeng immediately frowned. “What happened to you?”

Xin Yuan still wanted to dodge, but Xiang Zhufeng had already cupped his face with both hands, his gaze cold enough to frighten people. “Did somebody bully you?”

After saying that, he grabbed Xin Yuan’s arm and headed straight toward the night market.

“No, Xiang Zhufeng, listen to me. I accidentally hit myself, really no one bullied me…”

Xin Yuan struggled backward hard, but his strength was completely no match for Xiang Zhufeng’s, so he could only plead, “Let go first, okay? My arm really hurts…”

Only then did Xiang Zhufeng stop. He turned around and wrapped an arm around Xin Yuan’s shoulder. “Xin Yuan, you don’t need to lie to me, and you don’t need to be afraid. There are a lot of things I’ve been through before too.”

Xiang Zhufeng remembered how, when he was interning at a company before, his supervisor bullied him for not understanding anything, made him do full-time work, but in the end only paid the minimum meal allowance when settling accounts. He went to the relevant institutions to complain, but was instead warned by the counselor at the time not to cause trouble outside school.

Xin Yuan was still working part-time outside at this hour, so his family background probably wasn’t very good either.

And compared to him, Xin Yuan’s meek, temperless personality would only make it easier for others to bully him.

“Before, it was because we didn’t know each other. Now that I’m by your side, whatever happens, you can tell me. I’ll protect you and find a way to help you solve it.”

A moment ago, the only person in the world related to Xin Yuan by blood had slapped him and said that if he dared leave this time, then he would never be allowed to come back again.

And now, a stranger he had known for less than a month said that from now on he could protect him.

The tears Xin Yuan had held back when he was slapped suddenly felt as if they were about to fall at this moment.

“Don’t be so good to me.”

Xin Yuan suddenly spoke, his voice very soft.

Xiang Zhufeng didn’t hear clearly. “What did you say?”

If today were our first time meeting, I would want to tell you, don’t be so good to me.

Because then, I would have no way to accept the moment when you leave in the future.