LBC |Love Beyond Control/Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Many times, Xin Yuan kept thinking about one question over and over.

Why was it that, clearly, he was more likely to die than ordinary people, yet he had survived time and time again?

If time could flow backward, he hoped to go back to the afternoon when Xiang Zhufeng saved him. He only wanted to fall in love with Xiang Zhufeng at first sight, then die immediately in his arms.

Because that way, at least for one moment, his life would have been purely happy.

–

Four years ago.

Inside a certain university in Shancheng.

A student wearing a light gray hoodie walked out of the teaching building for the fifth time. Although he was already a junior, Xin Yuan still could not remember the maze-like teaching buildings. So every time he came to take a new elective course, he had to arrive half an hour early to look for the classroom.

At nine o’clock sharp, he finally found the right classroom, but unfortunately, he had remembered the time wrong.

Xin Yuan was quite interested in this course, so he simply sat in the empty classroom and read a book. Only after the class next door ended did he follow the crowd back to the dormitory building.

Two girls passed by beside him, chatting as they went down the stairs:

“Let’s go to the third cafeteria today, I want to eat the mala xiangguo there.”

“Not today, I want to go to the playground to watch people play basketball.”

“Ohhh~”

The girl deliberately drew out her voice. “Is it because that very handsome graduate student senior is there? Then I won’t eat either, I want to go with you too.”

Xin Yuan had no intention of following them. He only had to pass through the playground to get back to the boys’ dormitory.

He kept his head lowered the whole way, but when he passed the basketball hoop, he still followed the girls’ gaze and looked over.

The sunlight that day was so good that Xin Yuan’s first glimpse was actually only the blinding light. A moment later, he realized that along with the light, a basketball had also come crashing straight at the bridge of his nose.

Did it hurt?

It did not seem very painful.

But his body instinctively stretched out from losing balance, and his arms flailed in the air for a few seconds before he toppled sideways into the greenery in a very ungraceful pose.

If the one hit had been a girl, this unpleasant accident might have started a chance encounter.

But when a group of boys surrounded another boy who had been knocked unconscious, the whole thing became comical.

“Damn, classmate, are you okay? We really didn’t mean it.”

“Dude, can you still move?”

“Can you guys move aside a little, let him sit up first!”

Xin Yuan blinked dazedly, and above him was a circle of boys talking all at once.

The person closest to him was only wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Because he was too tall, he could only bend over to support him, and the sweat on his neck kept sliding down along his collarbone.

“Classmate, try walking a few steps, see if anything feels wrong?”

Xiang Zhufeng had been playing basketball for so many years, and this was still the first time he had knocked someone unconscious. He was also very upset.

Xin Yuan wanted to say he was fine, but the stabbing pain on the inside of his arm made him lower his head to look. He found that for some reason, the hoodie had acquired a tear, faintly revealing the bloody wound inside.

A group of boys noisily escorted Xin Yuan to the infirmary, and with one order from the school doctor, they were all driven out, leaving only Xiang Zhufeng inside.

The school doctor rolled up Xin Yuan’s sleeve and clicked his tongue.

“Oh dear, how did you do this? You’ve got such a long cut, you need to go to the hospital and see whether it needs stitches.”

The school doctor did a simple disinfection, then brought gauze to stop the bleeding.

But after quite a while, the blood still kept seeping out. Every time a piece of gauze was pressed on, it would be soaked through with blood again in the blink of an eye.

Xiang Zhufeng, standing nearby, looked worse and worse. He could not help asking:

“Classmate, is there something wrong with your blood clotting function?”

By then, Xin Yuan had gradually lost his focus. He actually did not feel much pain, only that his body had become light and floating, and his voice followed suit, losing strength:

“A little, a congenital coagulation disorder, but it should get better after a while…”

Xin Yuan first learned about his condition when he was five. That night, his mother came home drunk in the middle of the night. He wanted to pour a cup of hot water for his mother, but He Ye mistakenly thought that someone was going to force her to drink again, and shoved Xin Yuan straight off the bed.

Xin Yuan fell to the ground, and his palm happened to sink into the broken half of a glass cup.

The next day, He Ye was awakened by the wet pillow. Just as she was about to scold Xin Yuan, she saw him curled up without a trace of life, with the clenched palm still slowly seeping blood.

From then on, even if He Ye hit Xin Yuan, she would only slap him or use a stick. She would never really injure him.

Xin Yuan had always felt that being a little more likely to die than ordinary people did not seem like such a big deal.

But the instant Xiang Zhufeng heard the words congenital coagulation disorder, it was as if he had suffered a huge shock. Then he suddenly picked Xin Yuan up and rushed out toward the school gate like a madman.

The nearest top-tier hospital to the school was less than three kilometers away. The time it took for 120 to arrive was already enough to take a taxi to the hospital.

Xiang Zhufeng’s judgment was indeed right, but unfortunately, at the last kilometer, there was a rear-end collision at the intersection, and all the cars were jammed on the road.

Xin Yuan could no longer clearly see Xiang Zhufeng’s expression. He could only vaguely feel that he was very anxious, and he comforted him:

“Really, it’s fine, it’s not your fault, it’ll be better in a bit…”

Xin Yuan’s voice grew lighter and lighter, and his eyes closed more and more tightly.

In a daze, he felt as if he had been picked up by someone. A gust of cold wind swept across him, everything along both sides of the road flew backward, and only the warmth in the embrace grew warmer and warmer.

Xin Yuan struggled to open his eyes, and through the blur he saw Xiang Zhufeng panting heavily as he ran.

His jaw was tight, covered in a lot of sweat, and under the sunlight it was bright, very bright.

“This is the fee slip. After you pay, go get the medicine. Young people recover quickly, so don’t get the wound wet. Come back in half a month to have the stitches removed and it’ll be fine.”

Inside the emergency room, the nurse settled Xin Yuan down, then looked at Xiang Zhufeng, who was tense all over. “You brought him here in time. Once this bag of blood is finished, he’ll be fine. It’s just that the flu has been pretty severe lately, so before you leave the hospital, remember to wear your masks properly.”

The blood that had been lost slowly returned to his body, but Xin Yuan’s consciousness still had not fully come back, so he remained blankly dazed, openly staring at Xiang Zhufeng.

Xiang Zhufeng was used to all kinds of furtive looks, but now that Xin Yuan was staring at him so directly, he actually felt a little embarrassed.

Just as Xiang Zhufeng was thinking of apologizing again for what happened today, Xin Yuan suddenly took the initiative to speak:

“Thank you.”

“…Thank me for what?” Xiang Zhufeng froze.

Every year on his birthday, Xin Yuan would make the same wish in his heart.

He wanted to experience what it truly felt like to be cared about by someone. Even if it was only for one second, he would be willing to pay any price.

Looking at it that way, heaven had been quite kind to him. It only charged him a scar as the price for making his dream come true.

The speed of a blood transfusion was a little slower than an IV drip. Xiang Zhufeng kept staying by Xin Yuan’s side. During that time, he got up to make two phone calls. Although they were some distance away, Xin Yuan still vaguely heard a few words.

Part-time job, tutoring, asking for leave, borrowing money.

Xin Yuan secretly studied Xiang Zhufeng’s back. White shirt, black pants, sneakers that had been worn somewhat yellow, very ordinary, and very clean.

Only on closer inspection did he see that the cuffs of his pants had already been washed fuzzy, and his phone was also an old model from many years ago.

Xin Yuan guessed that Xiang Zhufeng’s situation was not very good. Using the excuse that he wanted water, he sent Xiang Zhufeng away and pushed the IV stand himself to pay the medical fees.

But he had not expected that when he came back, Xiang Zhufeng was already standing by the seat with water in hand, seeming to have been looking for him for quite a while.

“Where did you go just now?”

Although it was out of concern, Xiang Zhufeng’s tone suddenly turned cold, and it still startled Xin Yuan.

Xin Yuan hurriedly flattered him in a panic. “I, I went to the bathroom…”

As he spoke, he tried to hide the fee slip in his hand behind his back, but Xiang Zhufeng caught his wrist in one grip.

“You’re still getting a transfusion, don’t move around. Sit back down.”

Xiang Zhufeng had originally wanted to directly reimburse Xin Yuan, but after clearly seeing the amount on the fee slip, he could not speak for quite a while.

“…Today’s matter is all my responsibility. After this semester’s scholarship comes out, I will pay you back.”

“No need, I’ve already delayed you for so long,” Xin Yuan was most afraid of causing trouble for others, and felt very awkward. “If you have something to do, you can leave directly too. I’m already fine.”

But because Xin Yuan still looked listless when he spoke, those words had no persuasive power at all.

Until Xin Yuan finished the transfusion and stood up, Xiang Zhufeng still looked as if facing a great enemy, afraid that Xin Yuan might suddenly collapse in the next second.

At the end of November, Xiang Zhufeng was only wearing the short-sleeved shirt he had on while playing basketball, but when he wrapped his arm around Xin Yuan’s back, Xin Yuan still felt that the skin there was hot enough to burn.

“Really, I’m fine… I, I can walk by myself…”

Even if it was because he felt sorry, the relationship between Xiang Zhufeng and him was still only that of strangers who had just learned each other’s names. No one had any obligation to be this good to a stranger.

But Xiang Zhufeng did not let go, and instead held him even tighter.

“I have a younger sister back in my hometown. She has the same clotting problem as you. When I was little, I took her out to play, and as a result I accidentally bumped into her, which almost killed my sister. So when I saw you like this, I really felt especially sorry about it.”

So that was the reason.

As for the coagulation disorder, Xin Yuan had not had many particular feelings about it before. This was an illness that would not make a person die directly, yet always made people worry that they might die, and it could never be cured in a lifetime.

But if this was also one of the prices for fulfilling a wish, then it was already considered worth it.

“This is my phone number. After you go back, send me your dorm room number and class schedule. Don’t go queuing in the cafeteria for the next half month, I will bring you meals every day.”

Xiang Zhufeng said it very seriously, but because his voice was right by Xin Yuan’s ear, Xin Yuan heard nothing except Xiang Zhufeng’s breathing, and only nodded obediently.

The hospital was crowded with people coming and going. Xiang Zhufeng kept firmly shielding Xin Yuan. Just as they were about to leave the hospital entrance, it seemed they heard someone calling from behind them.

“Hey! You two young men! Wait a minute!”

Xiang Zhufeng stopped in his tracks. The man quickly took two more steps to catch up, and after seeing Xin Yuan’s face clearly, he stared straight at him even more.

“…Right, I wasn’t wrong! It’s you, take off your mask and let me have a look!”

Seeing Xin Yuan looking blank, Xiang Zhufeng tucked Xin Yuan behind him and asked warily, “You have the wrong person, don’t you?”

The man took off his mask first. Xin Yuan and Xiang Zhufeng froze for a few seconds, then both looked surprised.

“Are you Director Wang Muke?” Xin Yuan asked tentatively.

In China, Wang Muke’s name could be said to be known by everyone. Even though Xiang Zhufeng and Xin Yuan were not movie fans, they quickly recognized him.

Wang Muke was still immersed in great excitement, staring at Xin Yuan in a daze.

Over the past two years, his team had been planning a film set in the Republic of China era.

Because of his health problems, this film would very likely become the final work of his career, so every aspect of the production had been pushed to the limit.

The main roles in the film had basically all been decided, with only one complex xizi role still left, and they had not been able to find a suitable candidate.

In Wang Muke’s vision, this person had to be able to arouse the desire to protect him, while also making people want to crush him hard. He had to be fragile yet not soft, breakable yet unyielding. He had to be able to sink humbly into the dust, and also hang high above the mountain peak.

Within two years, Wang Muke had tried every similar actor on the market, and had even flipped through the photos of students from the major art academies until they were nearly worn out, but he still had not found a face that was completely to his liking.

Wang Muke also knew that wanting to simultaneously possess contradictory sides was almost a paradox, until he saw Xin Yuan.

He was thin and slight, with a pale face, not very spirited yet still trying hard to force himself to hold on. The moment Director Wang Muke saw him, a bolt of lightning seemed to split through his chest.

Found it!

The face he had searched for so bitterly had finally been found!