LA ⋆ Chapter 8: Coffee and Cake

Cheng Ai got his wish and became Sheng Yao's direct supervisor.

He felt this relationship was extremely comfortable. It sidestepped Sheng Yao's resistance to pursuing happiness while satisfying his own need to pursue it. As long as he paid a high enough salary, everyone would be happy.

The company had a cafeteria, and Sheng Yao still preferred eating there, always ordering at least two steamed buns.

On his first day at work, Cheng Ai super casually carried his tray and sat down right in front of Sheng Yao. Sheng Yao choked a little.

Cheng Ai: "There are so many people, huh. It's not crowded over here, right?"

It was lunch rush, so there were quite a few people, but… Sheng Yao glanced around. There were still empty seats. "It's not crowded." Boss, you could literally stand on the table and eat and nobody would stop you.

"You really like eating steamed buns, huh?" Cheng Ai brought up the topic super casually.

"Two hundred grams of steamed bun contains about ninety grams of carbs, which can quickly provide energy." Sheng Yao took a bite and picked up some greens with his chopsticks. "I don't like steamed buns. I eat things just to sustain my life."

Cheng Ai didn't say anything for a long time. The silence made Sheng Yao belatedly realize that maybe he shouldn't have spoken to his boss that way, so he corrected himself: "The company's steamed buns are really tasty, though."

"It's fine," Cheng Ai chewed slowly. "I don't really enjoy eating either."

"You probably don't enjoy eating because you've never gone hungry." Oh no. His mouth was too fast. Sheng Yao closed his eyes and mentally slapped himself hard. He'd forgotten that he was now a laborer and needed to be careful about his words and actions. Sheng Yao slowly opened his eyes. "The boss must have eaten a lot of delicious things before. Once you've seen the sea, all other waters seem small."[[1]]

"Maybe." Cheng Ai noticed that Sheng Yao seemed a bit reserved around him.

His observation was correct.

Sheng Yao's eating speed got faster. If the two of them ever happened to lock eyes in the cafeteria, Sheng Yao would immediately stuff two steamed buns in a bag and go downstairs to eat.

Cheng Ai was going crazy. Wasn't he friendly enough!? Wasn't he kind enough!? Why did Sheng Yao look at him like he was facing a raging flood!?

Desensitization. He absolutely needed to desensitize him.

Cheng Ai moved Sheng Yao's workstation into his own office.

Maybe it was because they'd been working together for a while, or maybe he was slowly getting used to it, but Sheng Yao gradually relaxed a bit around Cheng Ai.

But very soon, Cheng Ai discovered that Sheng Yao still lingered outside until it was time to clock in. He observed in secret and found that from the corridor connecting to the adjacent office building, he could see Sheng Yao's movements clearly.

Sheng Yao always smoked and drank coffee in the plaza with two other people. Once he finished his cigarette, he'd just stand there. Five minutes before work started, he'd head back.

Across the street there was a café called Gǔn. One time the three of them went in together, and Cheng Ai saw Sheng Yao studying the cake display case for a long time. In the end, he didn't buy anything, and the other two came out with their coffees.

Based on a year of observation, Sheng Yao didn't really love coffee. But cake…

After work, Cheng Ai went to that café. The hand-ground coffee at this private shop cost two or three times more than chain-store coffee. The cakes were labeled as made with animal cream, and the prices weren't low either. But with the salary he was paying Sheng Yao, these things were still affordable.

The rocker guy with his muscular arms ground the beans with a loud clacking sound: "Hey handsome, want a cup?"

Cheng Ai ordered the most basic latte. The coffee smelled great. He didn't drink it often before, but today he suddenly discovered that coffee smelled really good.

Caffeine and nicotine. Humans are captured so easily.

Cheng Ai started asking Sheng Yao to bring him coffee, and while he was at it, he'd slip him a cake.

Sheng Yao must like eating.

He didn't want to seem like he was giving charity, so he said some silly things, hoping Sheng Yao wouldn't dig too deep. He really wanted to feed him. If he could, he'd even want to use a spoon and feed him by hand.

Occasionally his gaze would fall on Sheng Yao's lips smeared with cream, and Cheng Ai would go crazy wanting to kiss him. It hurt so much.

Those moments with coffee and cake, one after another, made Cheng Ai certain that his feelings for Sheng Yao were a perfect ten out of ten.

Good things don't last.

Early this year, Cheng Ai logged into a job recruitment app a few times. Originally it was just idle curiosity—he wanted to see what the spring recruitment looked like this year. But then he saw Sheng Yao's profile picture in the job seeker recommendations at a glance. The platform's algorithm pushed it, which meant that person had been browsing job postings recently.

Cheng Ai's heart went cold in an instant.

Why would he be looking at job postings? Was he planning to job-hop? What about this job bothered him? Was the salary too low? Could he have figured something out?

Cheng Ai's computer on his office desk stayed on the recruitment page. Sometimes, when they were both in the same office, Cheng Ai could see on his screen the other companies Sheng Yao had submitted his resume to—companies he'd linked to his profile. Each submission felt like a hidden blade, all striking straight at his heart.

"Sheng Yao." Cheng Ai called him.

"What is it, President Cheng?" Sheng Yao responded immediately, acting casual.

Cheng Ai's gaze turned sharp, as if trying to see through the other person: "Has work been going smoothly lately?"

Sheng Yao looked confused: "Really smoothly."

"Is there anything about the job that dissatisfies you?"

"No, everything's great. Thanks for your concern, President Cheng."

Right. How could he get a honest answer that way.

If Sheng Yao was willing to communicate, he wouldn't have already started looking for another company.

Cheng Ai gave Sheng Yao a raise.

It worked, as expected. Sheng Yao seemed to settle down.

Good things didn't last a second time. After a few months of quiet, it started again.

It so happened that his childhood sweetheart Chen Siyu came back after finishing his studies. Cheng Ai invited him out to get drunk.

Chen Siyu had studied psychology in Queensland, and after finishing, he'd stayed there for a few more years. Finally he got tired of it and decided to come back to China.

After hearing about Cheng Ai's emotional journey over these past few years, Chen Siyu held up his pinky finger: "Cheng Ai, you're this good."[[2]]

"Fuck off." Cheng Ai swatted Chen Siyu's hand away.

Chen Siyu asked again: "What would happen if you just told him you like him directly?"

"I know how to answer this one," Cheng Ai took a sip of hard liquor, and a burning pain shot through his stomach. "He'd tell me that the fundamental human error is thinking the purpose of life is to achieve happiness."

"Oh! You like Hua-ge, huh?"[[3]] Chen Siyu exclaimed. "Then you probably really don't have a shot."

Cheng Ai lifted his head in pain: "What do you mean? What's wrong with Hua-ge?"

Chen Siyu: "Hua-ge never married. He kept dogs instead."

Cheng Ai's pained expression ×10.

Chen Siyu: "Hua-ge believed life is suffering. Art, philosophy, and religion can treat the symptoms. Exterminating all of humanity can treat the root cause."

"…" Cheng Ai's pained expression ×1000. "Hua-ge is too evil."

Cheng Ai: "It hurts. It hurts so much. My heart is being torn to shreds!"