KM: Chapter 21

The journey to the principal's office felt interminably long. Ji An lowered his eyes to look at his hand clasped tightly with You Chen's. It was a firm grip. When people fear losing something, they hold on tightly. Was You Chen also afraid of losing him?

Ji An vaguely recalled a time in their first year of high school when two boys were caught kissing by the garden pool. The incident caused quite a stir. As he passed by the principal's office with materials for the homeroom teacher, he glanced inside. There were many people there, teachers and parents, and the two boys had been separated, one standing on one side, the other on the opposite. They were so far apart, they didn't even dare to make eye contact.

The words shouted from the mouths of the principal and parents were truly unpleasant. Ji An couldn't see the faces of the two boys and didn't know if they cried. At least, if he were in such an embarrassing situation and heard such harsh words, he would definitely cry.

Later, both boys were expelled. It was said that one went to another province, while the other was sent abroad by his parents, and from then on, they never contacted or saw each other again. At their age, without money or status, there was no freedom. Naturally, their feelings couldn't withstand the storm. Just one such incident, and there was no future.

Why is it that the difficulty of loving someone varies between people? If those two boys, if he and You Chen, weren't of the same gender, they wouldn't face such consequences. They would merely be deemed as having an early romance, given a warning, a reprimand, asked to write a reflection, and at worst, be sent home to reflect for seven days, not expelled.

If those two boys, if he and You Chen, were already adults, already working in society, even if photos of them kissing were circulated, causing disgust and rejection, they might break up under external pressure, but they wouldn't reach the point of never seeing each other again. It turns out the difficulty of him and You Chen loving each other was so great. It seemed possible to overcome, but in reality, they were wrong from the very first step, and no matter how hard they tried to move forward, it was still wrong. They started too early, so the end would also come early.

Ji An looked at You Chen's profile, not daring to look away for even a moment. You Chen held Ji An's hand as they entered the office. The principal glanced at them, said nothing, but the disgust in his eyes was evident. You Chen shifted slightly, blocking Ji An's view.

They stood silently against the wall, not letting go of each other's hands. The homeroom teacher arrived, followed by Ji An's parents. As soon as Ji An's mom entered, she pulled Ji An to her side. You Chen cast a somewhat forlorn look, but Ji An turned his face away, refusing to look.

The principal spoke first, "You Chen's parents are both abroad and can't come, so there's no need to wait." After speaking, he opened his phone and displayed the photos. Although the faces in the photos were blurred, it was still vaguely discernible that they were You Chen and Ji An.

Ji An heard his mom gasp, and after a moment of silence, she began repeatedly questioning him about what happened. He didn't dare to lift his head or look at his mom's expression. You Chen, although prepared, hadn't expected the principal to have photos of him kissing Ji An. He was momentarily speechless, and Ji An's mom's gradually choked voice left him even more at a loss.

Ji An kept his head down, silent, until his mom pushed him, crying as she asked, "An An, why did you do this? Why? I never thought you were this kind of child. I even agreed to let you stay at his house. I trusted you so much. I never thought…"

What kind of child am I, Ji An thought. Mom, what kind of child do you think I am now? Do you feel I've caused you more pain?

"I never thought our school would have such students! Truly corrupting the atmosphere! Disgusting! I really don't know…"

The principal's words were similar to that day. Ji An blinked and suddenly spoke, interrupting them. "It was… me, who… seduced… You Chen." His voice fell lightly, but the weight of it was heavy, drawing surprised glances from everyone present.

In the silence, You Chen looked at Ji An, suppressing his emotions, just about to speak when Ji An's mom interrupted, "An An, what did you say?"

Ji An repeated it louder. "It was me… who seduced… You Chen!"

You Chen was furious, "Ji An!"

Ji An didn't look at him and continued, "It was… me, who kept… pestering him, making him… be with… me…"

You Chen wanted to rush over, but the homeroom teacher held him back. He could only glare at Ji An, shouting angrily, "Ji An, shut up!"

Ji An's shoulders trembled, and tears fell down his cheeks as he choked out, "I… can… show… you… the chat… records."

He took out his phone from his pocket, opened WeChat, and pulled up the chat with You Chen, scrolling slowly. The messages were mostly from him to You Chen, with few replies from You Chen. The chat ended with Ji An sending You Chen a "like you," to which You Chen replied much later with a simple "hm."

Ji An held up the phone for the principal to see. "It was me… pestering… You Chen."

You Chen stood there, frozen, as if his blood had turned to ice, unable to circulate. He rarely checked messages and disliked replying to others. He was the same with everyone, even more so with acquaintances. Xu Ren's messages, for example, he seldom read or replied to unless Xu Ren mentioned Ji An.

He always read Ji An's messages but didn't like replying. He wanted Ji An to say it to him in person; he just wanted Ji An to talk more. That "like you," he later had Ji An say to him in person.

But now, how could he prove it? That "like you," only he had heard it. How could he make everyone else hear it?

"Ji An, I told you to shut up, didn't you hear me?" You Chen's voice, trembling and low, struck Ji An's fragile nerves like ice. Ji An felt it was more painful than kneeling in front of Zhou Yin. Ten thousand times more painful.

He could no longer hear his mom's words, nor could he hear You Chen explaining to the principal. It was as if his nerves had been severed, unable to perceive the outside world. But he wasn't finished speaking.

Ji An took a step forward, biting his lip hard. His throat hurt so much, he had to muster strength to speak. "In school… my… rumors… are many… those… are… true… you can… randomly… grab a… classmate…"

"They… will… tell you… more…"

"Ji An, I told you to shut up! Shut up!" You Chen turned to look at Ji An, gritting his teeth in anger, wishing Ji An was mute, unable to say anything, not trying to confuse everything here.

Everything Ji An said, he couldn't refute strongly, and this was exactly the direction the principal wanted. You Chen knew he would be the one to be protected. Because of his parents' influence. Everything was moving out of his control.

Ji An, choking, continued, while Ji An's dad took a step forward, raising his hand high. Smack— Ji An's voice finally stopped, followed by You Chen's forceful shout, "Ji An!"

Why. Why let Ji An be hurt again. You Chen's heart ached as if it were bursting. At this moment, he desperately wished Ji An would stab him, stab him until he bled profusely, anything would be better than watching Ji An get slapped.