LBC |Love Beyond Control/Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When the two of them finished all the procedures and left the police station, it was already the dead of night.

The police told them that the assailant was a patient diagnosed with severe mental illness, level 4. Some time ago, he had escaped from the hospital on his own, and there had already been one incident in which he injured someone. Because there had been a loophole in the registration process for renting this place, they had never managed to find him.

Facing the police’s explanation and questioning, Xin Yuan remained very calm the entire time, like a bystander standing outside the matter, and truthfully recounted the process of the man’s violence toward him.

Xin Yuan’s mouth was swollen and bruised, and his neck was covered with ferocious fingerprints. The police officer taking his statement did not doubt a single word of what Xin Yuan said.

Only when they asked about the stabbing wound on the man’s leg, Xin Yuan secretly squeezed Xiang Zhuifeng’s hand under the table. Before Xiang Zhuifeng could answer, he cut in first and told the police that it had gone in when he resisted.

The police probably could guess the truth, but they did not expose it. They just glanced at Xiang Zhuifeng meaningfully and said that it was not wrong for young people to act bravely and do what was right, but in the future, they should pay attention to moderation when doing things, and not let anger cloud their heads and turn them from victims into perpetrators.

The streetlamp stood by the quiet roadside, shining alone, casting the two of them into very long shadows.

Neither of them spoke first.

Xiang Zhuifeng wanted to put his arm around Xin Yuan like usual, but he only slightly raised his hand, and Xin Yuan immediately shrank back, lowering his head to avoid him.

Xiang Zhuifeng’s hand froze in the air at once.

Xin Yuan’s figure was so thin, as if with just one careless moment from Xiang Zhuifeng, he would suddenly collapse.

But it was precisely this figure that cared for him day after day without asking for anything in return, stopped him when he was on the verge of killing someone, and still remembered to protect him even under the police’s repeated, wound-ripping questioning.

And he had done nothing before, and now he still could do nothing.

There were no pedestrians on the road, only the sound of their intersecting footsteps.

Xin Yuan walked very slowly, his precarious body seeming to tread on a wire.

Xiang Zhuifeng did not come closer to Xin Yuan again, but he also did not relax for even a second. Almost the moment Xin Yuan’s body went soft, he rushed forward and caught him.

Xin Yuan fell into Xiang Zhuifeng’s arms, trembled unconsciously a few times, then suddenly covered his mouth and bent over to retch.

It was as if a pair of big hands were kneading in Xin Yuan’s stomach. Even though he used all his strength to suppress it, even though he did not want to expose his embarrassment in front of Xiang Zhuifeng, he still could not control himself.

His body felt as if it were covered in a sticky film that no matter what could not be wiped clean, and pairs of eyes full of desire kept licking over him. He wanted to vomit, wanted to tear his internal organs out of his body, but all that came up his throat was wave after wave of sour water, making him miserable and disheveled once again.

Xiang Zhuifeng knew that Xin Yuan had already reached his limit. Seeing his intense reaction, his heart felt as if it had been pierced by a blade, and even breathing hurt.

He held Xin Yuan tightly, supporting his precarious body with his arms, not caring at all that Xin Yuan vomited on him, and patted his back over and over.

“It’s okay. If it feels awful, just vomit it out. You’ll be fine once it’s over.”

Xin Yuan bent over in pain, tears and stomach fluid gushing out together. Only after he had vomited out even the last bit of bile in his stomach did he finally stop.

Cold sweat covered his forehead, and even his breathing came in broken gasps, but he still wanted to break free from Xiang Zhuifeng’s arms as soon as possible.

“Let go, don’t hug me anymore…”

Xin Yuan lowered his head and looked at the tips of his shoes, tears falling to the ground with him, spreading out a tiny ripple.

“I’m really dirty right now, I’ve dirtied you too.”

Those few soft words struck Xiang Zhuifeng like an iron rod.

How much he wished Xin Yuan could cry and make a scene, or grab his collar and ask him why he came back so late. Why did he bring him to such a shabby place? Why did he make him suffer all this?

But he knew Xin Yuan would not. Xin Yuan had been hurt, and would only think that it was his own fault.

“I’m sorry…”

Xiang Zhuifeng forced himself to suppress it, but he still could not control the trembling in his throat. “It’s my fault, everything is my fault. I came too late. I didn’t protect you well.”

Xin Yuan kept his head lowered tightly. After silently sobbing for a few seconds, he suddenly turned around and hugged Xiang Zhuifeng, burying his head deep in his chest.

The room’s light shone lonely in the dark night.

Xiang Zhuifeng sat by the bed all night, holding Xin Yuan in his arms and patting him over and over.

Only after Xin Yuan had completely fallen asleep did he take off the clothes soaked through with cold sweat, carefully wiped him all over, and then filled the coal ball with coal.

But in the second half of the night, Xin Yuan still developed a fever.

The thermometer shot up to 38.7 degrees. Xiang Zhuifeng found the fever medicine he had prepared earlier by the bed, lifted up Xin Yuan’s nape, and was just about to feed it to him when Xin Yuan suddenly shook his head and let out a low whimper in his dream.

Xiang Zhuifeng hurriedly knelt back by the bed. Just as his hand touched Xin Yuan’s face, Xin Yuan screamed again.

“Let go of me! Don’t touch me…!”

Xin Yuan’s eyes were tightly shut. He seemed completely unconscious, but he still curled himself into a small ball, trembling under the blanket.

That crying was very small, very faint, so faint that it almost did not seem to come from his throat, but rather like the wail of some small animal before it was about to die. Yet it was like a blunt knife, scraping over Xiang Zhuifeng’s heart again and again.

When Xiang Zhuifeng used to browse murder cases, he always saw many people who were usually kind, but because of a moment of impulse, turned into devils. Back then, he would sigh and not understand. But now, he understood that feeling more than at any other moment. If he were given a chance to go back to before it happened, even if he had to spend the rest of his life in prison, he would personally kill that madman!

His body was being torn by cold and heat at the same time, and Xin Yuan could not tell whether what was in front of him was a dream or reality.

One second he was still being bullied by a group of children, the next he was being grabbed by the neck and yelled at by his mother, and the only person who protected him and was good to him, Aunt Fen, was desperately pushing him away, telling him to go with his mother and live a good life, and never come back again.

“No…”

Xin Yuan reached out his hand, but he could not grab anything, and could only watch Aunt Fen growing farther and farther away from him. “I’ll be good, I’ll listen. Don’t go, don’t leave me…”

Xin Yuan’s fingertips were very cold, very forceful, trembling constantly in midair, as if he had been abandoned many times.

“I won’t go.”

Xiang Zhuifeng tightly held Xin Yuan’s hand. Even though he knew he could not hear him, he still kept repeating, “I won’t go.”

He also did not know, at this moment, what identity he was using to make this promise, but it seemed that no matter what identity it was, from the moment he placed Xin Yuan’s hand against his own chest, he was the one who was afraid Xin Yuan would leave first.

When Xin Yuan opened his eyes, it took him a few seconds to realize where he was.

Morning light came through the window into the room. He looked around blankly a few times before slowly remembering everything that happened last night.

“…Xiang Zhuifeng?”

The room was silent. Xin Yuan cautiously called out twice, but there was still no response.

For some reason, Xin Yuan suddenly panicked.

It felt like something in his head was shaking, and his heartbeat instantly shot up. He propped himself up and wanted to go out to find Xiang Zhuifeng, but the moment his bare feet touched the floor, he fell back onto the ground.

He was only wearing a sweater, and his lower body was still bare, fully exposing patches of blue and purple bruises on his legs.

Xin Yuan was dazed for a few seconds, then suddenly tugged hard at his own shirt, as if as long as he covered the wounds, the nightmare from before had never happened.

When Xiang Zhuifeng went out, he moved very lightly. Only after confirming that Xin Yuan was still asleep did he use the fastest speed to make a trip to the small clinic.

Last night he had smashed the door lock with one punch, causing the four knuckles of his right hand to all be raw and red, and the most serious one, his index finger, had already swollen completely red after a whole night.

The clinic doctor suggested that he go to a big hospital for an X-ray and have it properly treated, but he had no time and no mood. He was entirely worried that Xin Yuan would see his wound when he woke up, so he wanted to hurry to the clinic and cover it up.

When he left, he had specially locked the doors and windows again, feeling that nothing could go wrong in such a short time. But he never expected that just as he reached the stairwell, he would hear the sound of the wooden door being battered again and again.

Xiang Zhuifeng’s nerves tightened sharply, and he immediately ran back three steps at a time.

“Xin Yuan, how did you…”

The second half of the sentence was still stuck in his throat when Xin Yuan had already stumbled and thrown himself into his arms, as if he could not believe that he had really come back, using both hands to carefully rub against his back.

Xin Yuan kept sniffing and sobbing so much that he could not speak, but Xiang Zhuifeng understood in an instant why Xin Yuan had broken down.

From Xin Yuan’s perspective, no matter what big matter he had, even if he had only left for one second, it was still at the moment when Xin Yuan was most afraid that he had once again left him alone and walked away.

“I won’t leave. Don’t worry.”

Xiang Zhuifeng picked Xin Yuan up in his arms and wanted to put him back under the blanket, but Xin Yuan buried himself tightly against his chest, wrapping both arms around his neck, unwilling to let go no matter what.

Xiang Zhuifeng had no choice but to sit down by the bed himself, holding Xin Yuan together with the blanket, patting his shoulder over and over. “I really came back. Don’t be afraid. I won’t leave you behind and go away…”

Xin Yuan had actually already slowly calmed down, but he felt that his behavior just now had been too embarrassing. For a moment, letting go was not right, and raising his head was not right either, so he could only give up and bury his head even lower.

“Do you feel a little better now?”

Xiang Zhuifeng wanted to lift Xin Yuan’s face, but Xin Yuan forcefully dodged him.

“I’m fine now, can you just not look at me for now…”

Xin Yuan really did not want to face Xiang Zhuifeng in such a miserable state, but Xiang Zhuifeng was rarely this forceful with him. No matter how he dodged, he still lifted his chin with his hand, making him only able to look into his eyes.

“I promised you, I wouldn’t leave you alone again. Do you believe me?”

Xin Yuan’s mind was in chaos, and he could not take in for a moment what Xiang Zhuifeng was saying. He only heard Xiang Zhuifeng ask him whether he believed him, and then subconsciously nodded.

“Then you have to promise me too.”

Xiang Zhuifeng’s gaze was frighteningly hot, making Xin Yuan slowly wake back up.

“…Promise you what?”

Promise me that you won’t be the one who leaves first.

Xiang Zhuifeng had deliberately not thought about it all along, but he was clearer than anyone else that perhaps not long from now, Xin Yuan would become a big star. He was so special, so kind, that many people would definitely like him, and then he would very quickly stand at a higher place and live a better life. And then, very soon, he would forget him.

But after thinking it over and over, Xiang Zhuifeng still could not find any reason, any suitable identity, that could make Xin Yuan be willing to agree not to leave him either.

Xiang Zhuifeng did not answer immediately, but instead changed the topic.

“When I was little, my parents always said I was like a little monkey, climbing walls today and tearing off tiles tomorrow, often getting myself beaten black and blue.”

“Then my mom went to the temple to ask for a waist chain for me, saying that as long as I wore it on me, it could keep me safe at all times.”

Xiang Zhuifeng lifted his clothes, revealing a thin red cord around his waist, with a very small peace lock and ruyi knot tied on it.

He reached his hand behind his back, undid it with one hand, and stroked the pair of jade ornaments pressed together with his fingertips.

“I never believed in it before, until the day of the accident, when in the end only I was left.”

Xiang Zhuifeng pressed his brows very low, hiding most of the emotion in his eyes, but there was still a trace of unavoidable sadness. “It’s just a pity that I no longer had a chance to go back to the past and get another pair for them.”

From the very first glance at Xiang Zhuifeng, Xin Yuan had been thinking about why there had to be such an open and upward-looking person in this world. He was like a bright fire that was warm but not scorching. As long as someone came a little closer to him, they would feel an inexplicable sense of safety and strength.

So much so that facing Xiang Zhuifeng at this moment, Xin Yuan had completely forgotten how miserable he looked and only wanted to reach out and hug him.

“But luckily, it’s still not too late.”

In Xin Yuan’s daze, Xiang Zhuifeng took off the peace lock, and very quickly turned the extra length of red cord into a small bracelet, fastening the peace lock firmly in the very center before wrapping it around Xin Yuan’s wrist.

“…How can you give me something this important?”

Xin Yuan was too shocked and instinctively pulled his hand back, but Xiang Zhuifeng caught it back into his palm in one grab.

Xiang Zhuifeng rather domineeringly tied a dead knot, not giving Xin Yuan any chance at all to undo the red cord except by cutting it off.

Then he looked at him and said, “I want you to promise me that no matter where you are in the future, you must always be safe.”