Bro | Chapter 44

Wei Qian remained as steady as a mountain… and dropped the fishing rod into the water.

He stared for a while at the short section of rod still floating above the surface, his ears filled with the fine rain, dense as whispers.

Only after quite some time did Wei Qian squat down expressionlessly, roll up his pant legs, step into the water with one foot, and fish the rod back out.

Wei Zhiyuan had been standing to one side watching him with a strange look in his eyes. Wei Qian caught it from the corner of his eye and felt that there was a kind of calm and composure in that look, the sort that came from utter heartbreak and deadened hope.

The two of them were like actors in a silent play. Neither one spoke.

Wei Qian reeled in the line and hook, gripping the sharp float as though absentmindedly drawing random lines in the soft mud by the bank. With every stroke, he counted silently in his heart, as if he wanted to forcibly smooth out and settle the blood vessels that were jumping and throbbing wildly inside him.

In the end, a turtle was left drawn in the mud, carrying an especially large shell on its back, looking listless and stoically burdened.

Wei Qian felt as though there were a razor-sharp long blade in his chest, one that could howl through the ages and pierce through anything standing before him. But at this moment, that thrusting, driving blade had nowhere to go. He heard a muffled puchi sound and felt as though his lung had been punctured with a hole.

At last, Wei Qian slowly sat down, pulled out a few tissues, and slowly wiped the water droplets clinging to the end of the fishing rod. After a long while, he deliberately softened his voice a little, so that he would sound reasonable when he spoke. “Are you doing this on purpose to drive me to death?”

Wei Zhiyuan said nothing.

Wei Qian said, “I want to hear what you’re thinking.”

Wei Zhiyuan stared at him with that strange gaze for quite a while before he finally said softly, “There’s someone I’ve liked for years. I never dared let him know, and I never dared let anyone else know. Every day… every day, I carve it into my bones once. I know what you’re going to say, Ge. Your line of thinking is exactly the same as my high school dean’s. You just want to say that no matter how unforgettable the feelings are, with time they’ll still pass, right?”

The words at Wei Qian’s lips were stolen by him, so he could only shut his mouth gloomily.

Wei Zhiyuan took a deep breath and showed a strange smile. “But a person is always built out of their past. Have you ever let someone live in your heart as the one and only? Try it and you’ll know. If you keep him in your heart for a month, then that month is his. If you keep him there for a year, then that whole year is his. And later, even if time really does move on, so what? He’s already become a part of me.”

Wei Qian thought about it carefully and felt that his own heart was stuffed full of the petty business of making a living. It was such a chaotic mess it was basically a live poultry market. How could there still be room for something as huge as another person?

So all he could do was kill the mood by stressing, “One part of you is made up of cells and tissues. It doesn’t have half a cent’s relation to another carbon-based organism. Don’t fob me off with that kind of absurd metaphor. Now, are you done?”

Wei Zhiyuan glanced at him helplessly and nodded.

Wei Qian could not help turning his head a little to avoid Wei Zhiyuan’s gaze. He did not know whether Wei Zhiyuan talked to other people this way too, but whenever Wei Zhiyuan spoke to him, he always liked to look straight into his eyes. And this kind of prolonged, unguarded eye contact could make even the gentlest gaze turn aggressive, making a person feel as though there were no road left to retreat down.

Wei Qian pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. He exhaled a puff of white smoke like a sigh. His temper seemed to have been worn smooth by time and by a long, drawn-out tug-of-war. Only traces of pent-up anger could be heard between the lines of what he said. “Then let me tell you what I’m thinking. I can’t understand it, and I can’t accept it. Even if you talk it into flowers, this is still my attitude. Wei Zhiyuan, I suggest you go out and ask around. Out of ten parents, nine wouldn’t accept it. And the remaining one probably isn’t a biological parent…”

He said that completely by reflex. Only after the words left his mouth did he realize what exactly he had blurted out. Wei Qian froze at once and rubbed his nose awkwardly… this one didn’t seem to be biological either.

After a moment, the two of them suddenly laughed out loud at the same time, and the tense atmosphere that had filled the air a moment ago suddenly dispersed.

Wei Zhiyuan said, “Ge, are you so angry you’ve gone muddle-headed?”

Wei Qian said, “Isn’t that so? I’m telling you, if this were Song Xiaobao, I’d have smacked her across the face already. What time, not time. One hammer blow and I’d knock you into an amnesiac youth. A year, a month? You wouldn’t get to remember even one second.”

At that point, Wei Qian slowly put away his smile. “You’ve had more sense than her ever since you were little, and now you’re already this grown. I won’t use the way I deal with her to deal with you. I don’t know whether you remember, but when I was young I also went down a crooked road for a while. Thinking back on it now, part of the reason was that I had no choice, and some of it… was probably because I refused to submit. Back then, it was your San-ge and… and Ma Zi-ge who pulled me back. Can I pull you back now?”

A moment passed without Wei Zhiyuan answering him. Wei Qian said, “Just take it as me begging you, all right? Xiao Yuan, a whole lifetime passes in the blink of an eye. Even living well is already difficult enough. Why do you have to go out of your way to be different and make life hard for yourself?”

Wei Zhiyuan stayed silent. He suddenly no longer had any of his earlier mood for testing the waters. An indescribable sorrow welled up in his chest.

He would rather his older brother, still ignorant of the truth, leap up and slap him, or else simply do as he had done two years ago when he ordered Xiao Bao to cut her hair, issue an unquestionable command telling him to go find a girlfriend tomorrow.

…Rather than watch him, like a real grown man, speak these words with a kind of helplessness that could not be put into words, speaking from the very bottom of his heart.

Wei Qian reached out and rubbed at the rainwater that had landed on his fingertips. “Xiao Yuan, is this because I didn’t set a good example? Is it because I’ve always…”

Wei Zhiyuan cut him off, “Ge, stop talking.”

Wei Qian looked out over the mist-blurred surface of the pond, his gaze distant and vacant. “I’ve wronged all of you.”

He had neglected his family far too much, to the point that he did not even know what kind of bizarre, dazzling youth Wei Zhiyuan had gone through…

And yet he really had already done his very best.

At that moment, Wei Zhiyuan almost wanted to throw caution to the wind and rush over to hug him, wanted to pour out all the yearning piled up inside his heart in one breath.

But when the words reached his lips, he barely held them back again. That crushing weight of feeling was pulled back at the last possible moment by reason, thin and fragile as strands of hair. In the end, not the slightest bit showed.

It still wasn’t time. That was what the taut string of his heart, tightened together with the veins standing out on the back of his hand, told him.

Later, the rain stopped. Wei Qian and the others carried the fish basket and several jin of little crucian carp and walked toward where the car was parked.

The sky, which had just recently been clear, spilled down armfuls of afterglow, dragging Wei Qian’s shadow long across the ground. Wei Zhiyuan kept his head lowered and followed that stretched, distorted shadow step by step.

With every step, he vented in his heart once, saying: I like you. The one I like is you.

He kept repeating it silently to himself the whole way.

Wei Qian tossed the fishing gear into the trunk and suddenly remembered something. He turned around and, catching Wei Zhiyuan off guard, asked, “That person you like, what kind of person is he? What does he do?”

Wei Zhiyuan had not expected him to ask that so suddenly. For a moment, he nearly blurted out the words he had been repeating in his heart. He bit down hard on the tip of his tongue. His face went pale, and he was so close to being dumbstruck that for a moment he lost all words.

He looked exactly like someone desperately protecting another person.

When Wei Qian saw him looking like that, his heart sank all at once. He truly had not seen before that this younger brother of his was actually such a lovestruck fool.

A burst of resentment from nowhere suddenly rammed into him. Wei Qian thought, was that person really that good? Was he worth you dodging and protecting him in every possible way even in front of me?

All of a sudden, he found himself unable to resist missing the old days when they had been poor and destitute. At least back then, when they had huddled together and depended on one another for life, there had not been this vague, ghost-like “outsider” wedged between them, this presence that was everywhere and nowhere. Back then, they had all been obedient, silly, and in need of him, their big brother, every second of the day.

Only then did Wei Qian realize that one day, these little brats really would all grow up. Once their wings were strong enough, they would each fly far away on their own.

He slowly drove the car out of the suburban open country. The green wheat shoots rolled with the wind like waves. He felt a heavy loneliness, dense and without end.

From then on, Wei Qian and Wei Zhiyuan both involuntarily avoided this topic together. On the surface, they maintained a kind of peace, but underneath it seemed as though they had reached a stalemate. Neither of them could persuade the other.

And so another awkward little half-year passed.

That day, Wei Qian was in his own office, hurriedly swallowing down a bun with half a cup of tea for breakfast as he prepared to start a whole day of work, when San Pang suddenly came in. “Qian’er, President Zhang is here.”

Wei Qian did not react for a moment. “Which President Zhang?”

“That one,” San Pang said, gesturing as he spoke. “The nominal shareholder from when we did our first project, the one who always carries himself like he’s about to ascend to heaven and build a spaceship, but in reality talks even more hot air than I do, that guy. Xiong-ge wants the two of us over there. Hurry up.”

This President Zhang was the sort of person who was noble, aloof, gorgeous, and crazily performative. At first, he had been extremely difficult to get close to. At every hour of the day, he treated putting on airs as the first great duty of life. But after getting to know him a little, people could also discover his essence, so unworldly it was like he had come from outer space and did not eat the food of ordinary mortals.

He was a brainless superfan of “concepts.” Every time the two words “concept” were mentioned, he got so excited it was like nails had grown out of his butt.

At this moment, President Zhang was in Lao Xiong’s office, enthusiastically delivering his personal speech. His grandiloquent talk left no room for anyone else to cut in, carrying rather a bit of Mrs. Xiong’s style. Fortunately, Lao Xiong had already been trained by his spendthrift wife, so he did not show the slightest sign of impatience.

The moment President Zhang saw Wei Qian and San Pang, he immediately stood up and, ignoring the hand Wei Qian had extended, gave him a hug like some fake foreign devil. The cologne on his collar suddenly rushed into Wei Qian’s nose, producing pretty much the same effect as mustard oil, shooting straight up the nostrils and clearing the brain. Wei Qian hurriedly retreated half a step, turned his head, and sneezed. “Sorry, Zhang-ge, I’ve had a bit of a cold these last two days.”

President Zhang smiled magnanimously. Then he ignored San Pang’s movement to follow local custom and give him a hug too. Instead, he grabbed San Pang’s pig trotter in both hands and shook it up and down once. “President Tan!”

San Pang’s facial expression went a little blank. He felt that he had suffered a certain subtle kind of discrimination.

President Zhang had made the trip from far away because he wanted to find people to cooperate on a new project. It was said to be a seaside vacation villa project in C City. Lao Xiong had not even flipped open the feasibility report to the table of contents yet, and President Zhang was already blowing it up to the skies.

Wei Qian could not help interrupting him to raise a doubt. “Sorry, Zhang-ge, I have to interrupt for a moment. I heard that the whole area crashed once a few years ago. Do you really think there’s still investment value there?”

“Good question.” President Zhang slapped the arm of his chair. “This kind of one-shot-to-the-point insight from President Wei is exactly what I admire most. But do you know, these days, for rich people, what is truly impossible to replicate? Health and environment! Scarce sea views and negative oxygen ions are our selling points. I’m also planning to use the nearby economic forest to develop some vacation and entertainment projects, and make this into a project along the lines of recuperative tourism. I’ve already run the numbers. The annual rate of return can go over 200 percent. Do you believe it?”

Lao Xiong lowered his head and said nothing. Wei Qian and San Pang exchanged a look, and both of them saw the same message in the other’s expression: this idiot got up this morning and forgot to take his medicine again.

Last time, they had taken a liking to President Zhang’s connections and worked with him once. Strictly speaking, that cooperation had been very pleasant. President Zhang’s attention had still mainly been focused on the commercial street and he had not pulled too many ridiculous tricks with the styles of the surrounding residences.

But even so, the idea that “this person is unreliable” had already sunk deep into Wei Qian and the others’ hearts.

This man came from a good background. His capital was abundant enough for him to squander however he pleased, and as a result he had all the stinking faults of an idealist.

His emotional intelligence was extremely low, and he was also extremely bad at reading people’s expressions. Of course, none of that was what mattered most. The most fatal thing was that he was doing actual, down-to-earth business using the imagination of someone writing novels and the romance of someone drawing comics.

Since a former business partner had already come calling, Lao Xiong, even if only out of courtesy, had to bring people along and make a trip with President Zhang.

The next day, which happened to fall during the National Day holiday, they boarded a plane to C City with absolutely no notion of taking time off.

At the very instant before the plane took off, Wei Qian suddenly felt his heart go thump.

At the time, he did not pay it any mind, because people never feel especially comfortable when a plane is taking off and landing, with all the rising and falling, weightlessness and pressure.

Once again, he ignored his uncanny premonition.

At that time, Wei Zhiyuan was at school, and Xiao Bao was baring her teeth as she struggled with homework she could not make head or tail of no matter what.

Ma Zi’s mother had come over to visit. With the help of Grandma Song, she was winding a skein of yarn. She hoped that before winter came, she could knit a pair of wool gloves for everyone.

Ma Zi’s mother’s burned hand was not very nimble. She could not spread her fingers open well, and her movements were slow too. When other people knitted sweaters, several needles flew up and down in their hands, but she could only work hard one stitch at a time. Sometimes the thread she had looped up would slip off. Sometimes she would miss a stitch and leave a tiny hole.

Xiao Bao chatted with them on and off. “For the college entrance exam, I want to go the arts-specialty student route. Lulu-jie said it should be possible. That way, the academic score requirements can be a little lower.”

Grandma Song said mercilessly, “And if they’re a little lower, you think you’ll pass? They’d have to be lowered by a whole lot.”

“Don’t always pour cold water on me!” Xiao Bao was unhappy. After a moment, she added weakly, “It really would have to be lowered by a whole lot… Ai, Auntie, the skin on your lips is all cracked and peeling. I’ll pour you a glass of water, okay?”

Grandma Song hurriedly stopped her. “Don’t get up. I’ll go. You, just study well. You don’t need to worry about things at home.”

As she spoke, she hung the stretched-out yarn over the back of the chair she was using and slowly got to her feet, smiling at Ma Zi’s mother as she did so.

Suddenly, Grandma Song rubbed her temples and muttered in a low voice, “I got up too abruptly, I’m a little dizzy.”

Without even lifting her head, Xiao Bao said, “Maybe you’ve got low blood pressure. Just eat more and it’ll be fine.”

Grandma Song said, “No matter what, I still eat more than the amount of cat food you call a meal.”

Xiao Bao’s mouth drooped. “My dance teacher won’t let me eat. She’s always saying I’m fat. Where am I…”

Her voice came to an abrupt stop along with a loud crash. Somehow, Grandma Song got caught on the leg of the chair. This old lady, whose hands and feet had always been brisk, actually fell flat on her face with a solid smack onto the ground.

And she never got back up again.

At the time, Wei Zhiyuan was alone in a classroom. Recently, he had applied to the school on his own to establish a small club called “Network Security and Program Research.” He had only just recruited a few people, and it had not yet taken shape. He wanted to take out some of the things he had done before and use them as examples, and was in the middle of debugging them when he received Xiao Bao’s call.

He had not even finished saying the word “hello” when Xiao Bao’s sobbing voice burst abruptly from the phone. Wei Zhiyuan listened carefully twice before he managed to make out the sentence mixed into her crying: “Why is da-ge’s phone turned off?”

Wei Zhiyuan frowned. “He probably hasn’t landed yet. What happened to you? Don’t cry.”

Song Xiaobao sobbed uncontrollably several times, broken and intermittent, and with difficulty managed to explain what had happened.

Wei Zhiyuan had already packed up his things and gotten to his feet before she had finished half of it. “Don’t move her. Did you call an ambulance? Not yet? Hurry up and call. Calm down. Why are you crying? There are several thousand-yuan in cash in the cabinet below the living room. When the ambulance comes, don’t forget to carry the money with you, hear me? I’m coming over right now…”

Grandma Song was quickly sent to the hospital. By the time Wei Zhiyuan arrived, she had already been pushed into the operating room.

Xiao Bao lifted her rabbit-like eyes and looked up at Wei Zhiyuan in confusion.

Wei Zhiyuan tried calling Wei Qian once. The phone was on now, but nobody answered.

Wei Zhiyuan gently let out a breath. “Tell me, exactly what happened back then?”

As though she had found the person she could rely on, Song Xiaobao explained everything from beginning to end.

Wei Zhiyuan listened in silence and had a premonition that Grandma Song’s condition was not something minor. This time, they were probably not going to get through it safely and without danger.

He stood up and patted Xiao Bao on the head. “All right, I know. It’s okay. Don’t be scared. Stay here and keep watch. I’m going out to withdraw some more money.”

Xiao Bao watched his retreating back with tears in her eyes, feeling that he was becoming more and more like big brother.

Wei Qian had already reached C City, found a hotel to settle into, and then gone straight to the project site. He had left his phone behind at the hotel and missed several calls from Wei Zhiyuan.

President Zhang and Lao Xiong walked in front, with President Zhang bragging all the way, talking about how there was going to be a golf course here, a hot spring sanatorium there, and somewhere else they were going to introduce some anti-cancer physical therapy from either Japan or Korea. The whole thing sounded dazzling and wildly exaggerated.

When they reached a high place and looked down, they discovered that the wide stretch of economic forest halfway up the mountain was sparsely populated. There were hardly any houses in sight. Only farther down were there still some farmers working the land.

San Pang and Wei Qian lagged behind by two steps. Wei Qian said in a low voice, “I think coming here was unnecessary.”

San Pang sighed. “Come on. At worst, let’s just treat it as recuperation. We can even buy some fresh fruit to bring back. How come this Zhang-ge’s wild-fantasy disease is even worse than the last time we saw him?”

Wei Qian gave a small laugh and was just about to answer when Lao Xiong up ahead suddenly tilted his head, and Wei Qian caught sight of the expression on the side of his face.

Wei Qian’s expression suddenly stiffened. After years of working together through wind and rain, he could already judge what Lao Xiong was thinking from his manner alone. What was this supposed to mean? Could it be that Lao Xiong really could not tell this project was unreliable?

Did that mean that this time, he intended to lead everyone straight into a fire pit?

But Lao Xiong really could keep his composure. Even if his manner and expression had already given him away to people who knew him well, that day he still held himself steady and gave no affirmative or negative answer. He only put President Zhang off by saying they needed to study it further.

Wei Qian was anxiously trying to figure out which screw in Lao Xiong’s head had come loose when he saw the ten or so missed calls on the phone lying spread out on the hotel bed.

Grandma Song had suffered a sudden cerebral infarction. After the long surgery was over, she was wheeled out and transferred straight into the ICU, her life and death uncertain.

The money Wei Zhiyuan had just withdrawn happened to come in handy.

That very night, Wei Qian booked a ticket on a night flight and doubled back, heading straight for the hospital. The only thing he had time to hurriedly tell San Pang was, “No matter what, hold Lao Xiong back. Don’t let him get possessed and lose his mind.”