SMMW | Chapter 33

“It’s doable. The plot has flowed really smoothly up to here. Let’s go, bring down the Second Prince and the Empress, and tomorrow I ascend the throne!” Song Hao threw up an arm with a rallying shout, and the livestream responded in unison by the tens of thousands.

[Emperor Hao returns!]

[Emperor Hao returns!]

[Emperor Hao returns!]

[Emperor Hao returns!]

…

[From a down-and-out scholar to the Son of Heaven]

[We finally made it to this day!]

[Amazing amazing amazing, open the harem!]

[What harem? Sister-in-law’s position is already beyond dispute]

[I don’t want to argue. Wen Qing can be Empress, but my Bro Sweet Potato’s harem absolutely has to be full]

[Give it a rest, the streamer could even give up the Ministry of Rites faction for Wen Qing]

[He really does love sister-in-law]

[He also gained the imperial clan faction later, so it wasn’t a loss]

[Bro Sweet Potato and sister-in-law are just Zhu Youtang and Empress Zhang]

[My sister-in-law is going to be Empress from here on out, hehe~]

After getting the evidence, Song Hao brought his adoptive mother, Madam Su, to see the Emperor. But after reading the evidence, the Emperor did not look particularly shocked.

〖The Emperor handed the evidence to Shunlu beside him and nodded. “I understand.”

Xuanyuan Hao stepped forward and asked urgently, “Father Emperor, how do you intend to deal with the Empress?!”

The Emperor turned around and did not look at Yuan Hao. “I will announce to the outside world that the Empress has long been ill. I will confine her within the palace, where she will spend the rest of her life with green lamps and an ancient Buddha, repenting and atoning for her sins.”

Xuanyuan Hao stood there in disbelief.〗

Outside the screen, Song Hao laughed in anger. “That’s it? The Empress killed so many of your consorts and sons, and becoming a nun is enough? And she’s still a nun inside the imperial palace.”

〖Xuanyuan Hao: Father Emperor, your son refuses to accept this!

Emperor: Then what do you want me to do? Kill the Empress, throw both the court and the harem into turmoil, and let all under Heaven come watch the imperial family’s joke?!

Or should I simply answer tooth for tooth and kill Chong’er too, so that your position as Crown Prince will be more secure?!

Xuanyuan Hao: Father Emperor! Your son…

Emperor: I do not wish to know what you are thinking. But let me tell you this. I only have three sons. Yi’er only knows how to play at words and brushwork and has already been confined to his residence. Chong’er may be the legitimate son, but he has been spoiled useless and has no real ability. If he inherits the throne in the future, he will only be the Xue family’s puppet.

That is why I chose you as Crown Prince. But your elder brothers were sons I watched grow up myself. I want you to preserve their lives and their wealth for a lifetime. This too is my heart as a father. If one of your brothers were Crown Prince, I would likewise make him preserve your life.

Xuanyuan Hao: But what about the Empress! Elder brothers are your blood, so because of that you also mean to indulge the Empress. Is my mother not also kin bound to me by blood?!

Emperor: After my death, I will order the Empress to be buried with me.

Xuanyuan Hao: This is unfair!

Emperor: What is fairness? Come discuss that when you are the one sitting on the dragon throne. For now, my words are fairness.〗

〖Mission: Force the Emperor to abdicate and become the new Emperor.

Conditions for completion: Establish at least five faction lines within three years, prestige > 1000, number of wives and concubines ≥ 5〗

A new-stage mission had been released. Five faction lines would not be hard, since Song Hao already had four.

Intelligence faction: Li Yi and the girls from the brothel.

Army faction: Huang Zhan and the troops under him.

Finance faction: the merchant houses behind Wen Qing.

Imperial clan faction: the royal kinsmen led by Changning Junzhu.

Prestige was manageable too. After becoming Crown Prince, his monthly stipend was 30,000. Prestige converted at a rate of 1 point per 100 qian, so 1000 points meant only 100,000. Even with various messy expenses, three years was more than enough to scrape it together.

Now the hardest part had instead become the number of wives and concubines…

[Ahhhhhh I finally waited for this! [sunglasses x1]]

[Forced by the devs, this is so good]

[In my lifetime at last. Watching this male-male route for so long was suffocating [free flowers x5]]

[Who would have thought it’d be the third requirement that stops Bro Sweet Potato]

[Exactly, it was supposed to be free points]

[No! He promised to marry only sister-in-law!]

[Taking concubines doesn’t count as marrying. I support the streamer building a harem!]

[Open your eyes, this is a harem game livestream]

[Wen Qing gave up so much for you, you can’t let him down]

[He already let him become Crown Princess, the streamer’s done enough]

[Is there any other way?]

[No. This step forces five because once he becomes Emperor there’s a palace intrigue plot. If there aren’t enough people, it can’t start]

[Unless Wen Qing can split by mitosis]

[I’m saying this sincerely. I came to watch the streamer do a zero-spend career route. Earlier there was excitement and chaos, and I don’t dislike Wen Qing either, but there’s less than a week left before shutdown. I really want to see the streamer clear the game smoothly and become Emperor [hands together]]

[There’s still so much plot after enthronement. We can’t afford to drag this out]

Song Hao also felt uneasy inside right now. In the earlier plot, he had promised Wen Qing that he would marry only him, so the thought of breaking that promise made him feel miserable. But his original reason for starting the stream had been to clear the game, and some of his old viewers had sat in the livestream every single day, playing it through with him. Clearing the game could be said to be their first wish, and their shared one too.

“…Let’s go to the matchmaker hall and see what candidates there are.”

A single line inside a game ultimately could not compare to the real companionship of the livestream. Song Hao still compromised, but even his tone grew noticeably subdued.

“If I hurry up and marry five, then after becoming Emperor I can divorce them, right?”

Song Hao started trying to think of a way to have it both ways, but he knew it probably would not work. Marrying was still marrying, and once he did it, he would have broken his promise. And those girls he married afterward, could he really cast them aside?

Even with Wen Qing, a male character, he had already empathized to this extent. By the time it actually happened, the most likely outcome was that he would become a scumbag and betray all of them.

〖Matchmaker Hall〗

Its main business was wedding arrangement packages. Once favorability exceeded 100, you could come here to have a match arranged. Of course, it also handled blind-match business and could recommend suitable girls.

Song Hao did not dare look at the comments. He directly clicked on the Matchmaker Hall, but was not allowed to enter.

〖Prompt: Vow of fidelity currently in effect. Marriage and concubines unavailable.〗

[Hahahahahaha did you hear that! Not! Allowed!]

[That scared me. I’m relieved now]

[No scumbag route for you]

[Bro Sweet Potato, give up. You’re bound to sister-in-law]

[Go back and get ready to kneel on the washboard]

[What the hell is this?]

[Does this kind of thing even make sense in a harem game?]

[Someone’s triggered it before. He really can only marry one]

[I kind of remember that]

[Only divorcing your wife can get rid of this effect]

Song Hao watched the chat go on line after line. His mood sank lower and lower, and he grew more and more irritated.

Divorcing him? That would not only break the vow, it would also mean abandoning him. How would that make him any different from Wen Qing’s scumbag father?!

But then again, Wen Qing had not exactly enjoyed any happiness by following him. Once he became Crown Princess, his official post at court had been stripped away. His intellect was 86, enough to let him become a minister or chancellor with ease, so why should he have to spend his days tangled in the rear court?

Maybe that panicked, desperate proposal back then had been a mistake to begin with.

The chat was saying that once he became Emperor there would be palace intrigue plots. Not only would Wen Qing be unable to use his talents, he would even have to go fight in the harem too? What a joke.

He had been carefully avoiding Mu Ziyi’s and Lou Xiaoyu’s routes, afraid that once they got entangled with a man they would meet a terrible fate, changing from free birds into caged sparrows. Yet in the end, the one who had the worst luck was Wen Qing, the very Wen Qing he had wanted most to repay.

Bang!

A jarring sound effect exploded in Song Hao’s headphones, interrupting his train of thought.

On the screen, ribbons burst everywhere, and in the middle rose a futuristic silver skyscraper with the huge words “Carnival” written across the top. Balloons, stars, and airships spun around the building.

This was the most expensive gift in the livestream. One cost 3000 yuan, and Song Hao got 1500 of that.

Any user who sent a Carnival would have all of their messages show with their ID for five minutes, with enlarged text lingering in the middle of the screen. It was incredibly flashy. So when someone sent a gift as expensive as Carnival, it was usually to make a request.

[Du Zhi: I want to see the enthronement plot. Try demoting Wen Qing to side consort instead. Maybe that’ll bypass the restriction]

He had already felt earlier that Wen Qing might actually be better off as a minister, and now this viewer had sent a gift and made a compromise suggestion. There was no reason not to try.

But before trying, Song Hao still made a request, though even he himself felt it was a bit affected. “Boss, can I save first? If it doesn’t work, I’ll reload and come back.”

[Du Zhi: Fine]

“Thanks, boss.”

Song Hao felt a little better inside.

When he reached Yaoyue Residence and saw Wen Qing inside the bedchamber, his heart still could not help but cramp in pain.

〖Wen Qing: You look tired. Do you want me to massage your forehead?〗

This was one of his greeting lines when they met. Wen Qing had five in total, and one would appear at random each time. The other four were:

What interesting things happened today? I’d be very happy to hear.

Being with you feels like a dream. I hope the dream never ends.

I made some pastries. They don’t taste very good, but would you like to try them?

There’s so much to do in the Eastern Palace, yawn… It’s fine, I’m about to finish checking the accounts. I’ll go to sleep right away.

Although the lines were always the same, as long as they were spoken by Wen Qing, they felt warm. So after getting married, Song Hao had never once chosen to sleep in the study. He always slept in Yaoyue Residence.

Trying to guess which line Wen Qing would say today had once been his greatest little pleasure.

But not today. Today he had come here to be a scumbag.

Once inside the bedchamber, there were two systems. One was the intimacy system, which contained the five options like gifts and chat. The other was the punishment system, which also had five options: scold, punish, demote, divorce, execute.

Five words, each one more frightening than the last. This was Song Hao’s first time seeing them today.

[Du Zhi: After demotion, Wen Qing will become a side consort. After that you should be able to take concubines normally]

The boss was urging him now.

The other side had sent a 3000-yuan gift. Another two thousand more and that would already equal his monthly salary.

If you take the money, you have to do the work… It was only demotion… If it didn’t work, he could still reload… Wen Qing would be better off as a minister… If the game got stuck here, it couldn’t go on.

Song Hao held the mouse for a long, long time, so long that the boss’s five-minute privilege expired. Only then did he, eyes darting, deeply shaken and ready to regret it at any moment, click “Demote.”

〖Wen Qing: I don’t understand… Why…

※ Wen Qing demoted to side consort

※ Wen Qing favorability -1〗

I don’t understand either. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

Other than that bug with the pastries, Wen Qing had never once lost favorability toward him before.

He must be terribly disappointed, right?

Song Hao forcibly pushed down the tangle of feelings in his heart, deliberately ignored the pain, and controlled the character back to the Matchmaker Hall. But the result was exactly the same.

〖Prompt: Vow of fidelity currently in effect. Marriage and concubines unavailable.〗

There was nothing that could be done then. Forget it!

Song Hao moved the mouse to the save file, desperate to undo this mistake.

Bang!

Another Carnival. Another 1500 yuan credited.

[Du Zhi: Demotion didn’t work. Can you try divorce too? I’ve really been watching your stream for a long time. I don’t want there to be regrets. You can save first, or marry Wen Qing back later]

One click of the mouse and he got 1500. He had been unemployed so long, and his savings were under 10,000 now. If it worked, he could clear the game, let Wen Qing go become a minister, and he himself could go become a trash Emperor…

Then divorce him. Anyway, Wen Qing was already disappointed in him. Let him see even more clearly.

This time Song Hao did not hesitate as before. He entered Yaoyue Residence, opened the punishment system, and clicked Divorce in quick succession. He was holding his breath, wanting to hurry up and get this filthy business over with.

[Steward: Crown Prince, please calm your anger. While you are still Crown Prince, you cannot divorce anyone.]

〖※ Divorce failed. This function is unavailable at the current stage

※ Wen Qing favorability -1〗

Minus one again. Even though the divorce failed, it still deducted one point.

Song Hao leaned back in his chair, staring at Wen Qing’s favorability value of 997. He felt like a despicable gambler, someone who had wagered everything and still made excuses about how it was all for the kid’s tuition, only to end in complete ruin, losing both money and people.

Bang!

The third Carnival. Still the same person.

[Du Zhi: So divorce doesn’t work. What a pity. There’s a Death Pill in the apothecary. Buy one and choose Execute. How can a dead person have a vow of fidelity?]

A bone-deep chill ran from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. It was thirty-five degrees outside, but Song Hao shivered anyway. He understood now. There was no longtime viewer here at all. This person was doing it on purpose.

Bang!

The fourth Carnival.

[Du Zhi: Are you deaf? I said execute him. The gift money should be enough to buy it, right? I even let you save first. What are you dragging your feet for?]

Bang!

The fifth Carnival.

[Du Zhi: ****, hiding behind the zero-spend gimmick while using gay stuff to draw attention, shameless as hell. Quit pretending to be devoted, kill your little lover already. Didn’t daddy give you enough money? If you want more just say how much.]

Song Hao ignored him and first clicked to disable gifts.

[*** you ***]

[I knew that ID looked familiar. It’s the alt of that streamer who copied Bro Sweet Potato, the one who went for ambiguous vibes and ended up with the civil official defecting]

[What a **** thing. Just jealous and bitter, huh]

[Boss sure is generous. For the amount of money in those gifts, you’d have to stream for five hundred years to save that much]

[Get lost. You don’t seriously think White Sweet Potato stole your attention, right? Even if he didn’t stream your traffic would still be garbage]

[Du Zhi: Grandpa doesn’t lack money. I’m just here for a laugh. Why’d you turn off gifts? Do the job if you take the money. That’s almost ten grand in gifts. You’d have to work three months for that, right? Hahaha]

The furious meltdown, the breakdown, the loss of composure that Du Zhi had been hoping to see from Song Hao never came.

At this moment Song Hao looked very calm, his face utterly expressionless.

He turned sideways and looked directly into the camera, as though he were looking at Du Zhi through the livestream itself.

“You. Are. Disgusting.” Song Hao said each word one by one. His enunciation was heavy, his expression completely serious. It did not look like he was trading insults. It looked more like he was announcing a major United Nations resolution.

Song Hao did not look at the camera anymore, but kept staring at the glaring 997 on the game screen.

“I’m refunding the last three Carnivals in full, a total of 9000. As for the first two, I’ll return the cut of the commission that I got. Altogether that makes 12,000. I already did what you asked for the first two gifts, so technically I don’t need to refund those, but I’ll return them too.”

Song Hao paused. His expression slipped from his control and turned ugly, almost ferocious, as he bit out the next words. “Because I think you’re disgusting.”

[Du Zhi: Hahaha, weren’t you pretty happy when you were taking the gifts? What are you pretending for, idiot]

[Don’t refund him! Why should you give it back to him!]

[****, just wait till you get flooded]

[His stream never even had more than a hundred viewers. He’s just pretending to be generous]

[Sour grapes, can’t stand seeing someone else do well]

“Message me from your main account within ten minutes and I’ll refund your gift money. Don’t pretend not to care. If the time runs out, then it runs out.”

[Du Zhi: This is just some pocket money from your daddy. Keep it and buy yourself a damn Snow King, idiot]

“Eight minutes left.”

[Du Zhi: Don’t want it anymore. Consider it daddy’s allowance to you, get it? ***]

Song Hao took out his phone, checked something, then held the private message page up to the camera.

[Du Zhi: Send it to this account

Du Zhi: Main account

Du Zhi: Hurry up and pay it back, or were you bluffing?

Du Zhi: middle finger.jpg]

“Is this you?”

[Wow, why aren’t you acting like a big shot now?]

[How the hell has this dog thing survived until now?]

[You little bastard, dare to fight your dad in real life? Drop the address]

[It’s the middle of the night and I’m so mad I’m fully awake now]

[Little shit, is this the account? My bro is asking you]

Song Hao kept holding the phone up. He only gave a calm reminder. “Four minutes left.”

[Du Zhi: It’s this account.]

“Post a comment. How am I supposed to know it isn’t someone impersonating you?”

Maybe because there was really not much time left, Du Zhi finally stopped posturing.

[Du Zhi: Du Zhi is my main account. Just send it to this account.]

[*** Didn’t you say you didn’t want it]

[Why’d you chicken out? Keep pretending]

[[poop][dog][poop]]

[*** your whole family *** buried ***]

Song Hao lowered the phone, tapped a few times, then raised it to the camera again.

[BigBigBigBig Sweet Potato: Transfer of 12000 initiated

Du Zhi: Received.]

“Transferred.”

Song Hao opened the gift leaderboard for the livestream. Du Zhi was in first place now, so he was easy to find. Song Hao clicked the account and chose the function from the menu.

“Blocked. Get lost.”

After doing all that, Song Hao impatiently reloaded the save, returning to the point before any of this had happened.

He entered Yaoyue Residence. Wen Qing was sitting in the chair, but there was no welcome line displayed.

Song Hao had no time to care about that kind of detail. He immediately opened the status panel.

〖Favorability: Wen Qing 997〗

“Why is it still 997? I reloaded.” Song Hao’s voice held a note of collapse.

He only had two save files. There was no way he could have loaded the wrong one.

To be safe, he loaded again. It was still 997.

Song Hao’s body swayed once, then he quickly steadied himself. He took out his phone and opened the recharge page.

〖Congratulations, you have successfully paid 500 yuan〗

He opened the intimacy system and chose Gift.

The most expensive item on the gift page was “Rare Pigeon Blood Ruby,” priced at 199 RMB, with the description saying it added 500 favorability.

He confirmed the purchase, selected the recipient, Wen Qing, and sent it.

Song Hao opened the status panel again.

〖Favorability: Wen Qing 997〗

“Why…”

[Holy shit bro calm down, you’re spending RMB, not in-game money]

[Sweet Potato, are you okay]

[The system might just be bugged, don’t panic]

[We’ve seen your sincerity already, bro, stop]

[The three-yuan first recharge is still nothing. You’ve already sent a 199 gift]

Song Hao opened the gift shop and kept buying, kept sending.

Gold-thread hair crown, 159.

Purple sandalwood screen, 129.

〖Congratulations, you have successfully paid 1000 yuan〗

Cloud-brocade robe, 99.

Jade thumb ring, 89.

Pearl necklace, 69.

Enamel vase, 49.

…

[Is this a zero-spend livestream my ass?]

[Buying page after page, even whales don’t spend like this]

[Is 1000 enough? Don’t tell me you’re recharging again, bro]

[The later stuff is cheaper, but there are a ton of items. Bro only reached page three. There are seven pages total]

[Holy shit, I give up, I forgive you on sister-in-law’s behalf, okay?]

[What an action guy. I didn’t even have time to curse him before I started feeling sorry for him]

[Who even understands this. My bro spent two whole hours adjusting a face with a twelve-yuan appearance card, and now he’s tossing out two hundred, two hundred at a time]

[Hold back, bro. Aren’t you unemployed?]

[Turn gifts back on, I’ll send you some]

[Sister-in-law, please forgive him, it was all instigated by a villain]

[Seriously bro, don’t take it so hard. What couple doesn’t fight]

[My parents talk about divorce all the time too, and they still made it thirty years]

[You made it this far without getting cheated by the devs, and now you’ve spent it all here]

[Sister-in-law’s favorability is still 997 ahhhhhhhhhhhhh]

[It’s probably bugged. Bro, try restarting the game]

Song Hao did not know how much he had sent. The gifts got cheaper and cheaper toward the back. The ones in front all required RMB, but further back they became things that could be bought with game money too, so he converted RMB into game money and kept sending.

〖Wen Qing favorability +1〗

That prompt felt like salvation, like a glimmer of light appearing before a death-row prisoner whose struggle had been in vain.

Song Hao went back to check the gifting history and found that the prompt had been triggered by a wolf-hair brush worth 100 qian.

The very first gift he had ever given Wen Qing had also been a wolf-hair brush.

Back then, right after the provincial exam, Wen Qing had brought him pastries, yet the favorability value had kept dropping. He had reloaded and gifted him a brush too, and only then had he stopped the downward trend.

The game interface did not trigger any new dialogue box. But in the moment he received the brush, in the moment the favorability prompt appeared, Wen Qing cried.

After all, because it was a gift, whenever Song Hao gave one, the corresponding item would appear beside Wen Qing.

Wen Qing sat on the bed. Beside him stood the purple sandalwood screen. Across his legs lay the cloud-brocade robe. By his side were piled the rare pigeon blood rubies, the gold-thread hair crown, the jade thumb ring, the pearl necklace, the enamel vase…

Yet he only looked at that brush. He only held that brush, lowering his head and crying.

Song Hao’s heart seized too. He panicked, wanting to tell Wen Qing not to cry, wanting to wipe away his tears. His hand reached out, only to collide with the computer screen, a cold, inorganic screen.

This was only a game…

Was this really only a game?

Song Hao remembered that he could use the mouse, but when he moved it to Wen Qing’s face, he no longer dared click. Right now, he felt like a heartless man who only knew how to seek forgiveness with money.

But what else could he do?

This was only an old-fashioned story game. It could only trigger dialogue. It could not speak aloud. Everything he said and did in the game was pre-written code text. All he could do was choose among the options the game gave him.

The maximum purchase amount for one gift at a time was 100, so Song Hao bought one hundred wolf-hair brushes and sent every single one over.

But that trick could probably only work once. The brushes piled around Wen Qing, burying the fine clothing and jewelry, yet Wen Qing was still crying. There was still no new prompt, and the favorability remained stuck at 998.

[The gifts are practically filling the whole room]

[Wuwuwu sister-in-law forgive him, this really isn’t Bro Sweet Potato’s fault]

[Bro and sister-in-law, make up already]

[I’m crying so hard I can’t breathe]

[Look closely at the camera, the streamer’s about to cry too]

[Brothers and sisters, hear my command, let’s show this bastard what cyberbullying means @DuZhi @DuZhi]

[****, who the hell do you think you are to bully my sister-in-law?]

[Is there a group chat? I’m definitely joining in]

[Front-line report, that livestream has already been mass-reported into shutdown]

[He has another alt, look at this one →]

…

Song Hao was no longer looking at the comment section. He bought another hundred wolf-hair brushes.

The result was exactly the same. Favorability stayed stuck at 998.

He won’t forgive me anymore, Song Hao thought.

“He won’t forgive me anymore.” Song Hao said it out loud.

“I’m pretty disgusting too.” Song Hao said with self-loathing.

“He won’t forgive me anymore…” Song Hao said it again, listlessly.

[What are you talking about?]

[He’ll forgive you, wuwuwu don’t be like this]

[Bro, you’re not in the right state. Take a break]

[Even though it’s emotional, it really could just be bugged. That trash company isn’t fixing bugs anymore]

[Yeah, try logging in again tomorrow]

“There is no tomorrow…”

Song Hao looked exhausted all over, like someone about to collapse and fall unconscious. His eyes were lowered toward the keyboard, and he did not even care whether the viewers in the livestream could hear him clearly.

“Anyway, the wives and concubines condition isn’t met, so there’s no way to keep playing. Let it end here. One way or another, this day was always going to come.”

He forced himself to perk up and said toward the camera, “Thanks for watching me play, but there’s no way to keep going now, so starting today I’m ending the stream. Thank you.”

[?]

[Ahhhhhhhhh no]

[Don’t, bro…]

〖BigBigBigBig Sweet Potato · Livestream Closed〗