SMMW | Chapter 21
by _squishee“See that? My brother, a rock-solid straight guy, got so scared by being touched by another man that he ended up sick for half a month.” Song Hao was very obviously chatting with the comment section on the side, doing his best to turn around this gay image, but the comment section did not buy it at all.
[Keep lying to yourself]
[Yeah yeah yeah, when you touch him it’s fine, even after touching him twice, straight~ guy~]
[Hah, certain someone came out of the escort house and immediately went to look at sister-in-law]
[Hahahaha Sweet Potato Bro’s face is green with rage]
[Straight guys would not care what clothes you’re wearing]
[Henpecked, he changed the moment someone told him to]
[The streamer did not even make a save, the second he clicked agree, he changed in the very next moment]
[Even if we take ten thousand steps back and say he’s straight, you definitely aren’t]
On the game screen, Wen Qing called a pageboy over. Both of their mouths were moving as if they were talking, but there was no dialogue box, so there was no way to tell what they were saying.
“Another bug. It’s been like this a lot lately. How are we supposed to play if we can’t see the dialogue box? Is the official team not going to fix it?”
[It’s about to be sold off, who’s going to fix it for you]
[The dead official team is just grabbing whatever money they still can]
[I’m an old player, this kind of thing happened even back when it was super popular hah, they shut down several servers to save money]
[Classic stingy bastard behavior hahahahahahahahaha]
[Characters in 1080p, backgrounds in 360p, NPC dialogue not even fully displayed. Someone complained, and the official team said, isn’t being able to see your wife’s dialogue still not enough for you?]
[Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha]
[Honestly, they deserve getting flamed]
[The buyer is probably only buying it for the nostalgia]
[That really is reminiscing about the past. Gossip says the official team asked for a lion-sized price, the quote stunned people on the spot, they even asked whether there was one zero too many]
[Hehe, now that they’ve messed it up, they should get on their knees and lick boots. If you ask me, they should’ve quit while they were ahead]
The dialogue on the game interface was still missing. Only after Wen Qing finished talking to the pageboy and turned toward Yuan Hao did it finally return to normal.
〖Wen Qing: This one doesn’t look good. Change into another one.
Your choice is: Agree / Refuse〗
Changing clothes was not troublesome anyway, so changing was no big deal, but the comment section was watching closely. Song Hao put on a tough act and chose Refuse.
〖Yuan Hao: Huh? Let’s not go through the trouble.
Wen Qing: No! Change into another one.
Your choice is: Agree / Refuse〗
“…” Song Hao could not figure out why Wen Qing had gotten so hung up on clothes.
Thinking it was time to refuse hard and straighten out his image, with 8,500 viewers in the livestream bearing witness, he slid the mouse and clicked 〖Agree〗.
“He’s sick, so it’s normal for him to be more difficult. And besides, this patched outfit already doesn’t fit my status anymore. If I go out and make friends looking like this, people will look down on me, so changing into something better… maybe it adds reputation or something.”
When people feel guilty, they explain a lot.
Song Hao avoided looking at the comment section and directly changed into the dark green outfit. This was also the only outfit he had with a positive bonus. He thought, this time it can’t be wrong, right?
The result was the exact opposite. Wen Qing got even angrier, and the dialogue box disappeared along with it. He first drove the pageboy out, then even pushed Song Hao toward the door. There was no way to know what he was saying, but he was crying his eyes out, that much was obvious.
Song Hao tried clicking on Wen Qing’s face to see whether he could wipe his tears, and it actually worked. After the tears on one side were wiped away, Wen Qing looked much calmer, although the dialogue box was still missing.
As long as it worked, that was enough! Song Hao kept wiping the other side, but Wen Qing was like he was made of water, crying and crying without end.
“It’s just one piece of clothing, why are you crying like there’s no end to it?” Song Hao complained.
[Hehe, and yet aren’t you still coaxing him]
[Says one thing, does another]
[Another episode of a dating reality show, so sweet ahhh]
[Are you still not starting the next day? You’ve been visiting the sick person for half an hour already]
[Miracle Haohao]
“I’m done with him!”
Everyone thought he was about to move on to the next day, but after saying that, Song Hao opened the saves instead and loaded a file from the moment just after returning from the escort house. He even changed clothes in advance, this time into a gray academy uniform.
“One last time. If he cries again, I’m not changing anymore.” Song Hao’s expression carried seriousness and impatience, like a parent who had made up his mind to stop indulging a naughty child.
[You *** really are **]
[Stop pretending, bro. There are only four outfits in the wardrobe, right? If sister-in-law says he doesn’t like it again, can you even buy a new one?]
[All the money got spent on buying wine for master, and he’s still a streamer with 0 money~]
[…There’s no way he’s going to top up, right]
[Don’t remind him, upstairs!!!]
Fortunately, this time Wen Qing did not cry. He even looked fairly energetic, and he did not ask for another change of clothes.
〖※Wen Qing favorability +5〗
“See! I guessed right, he likes this gray one!” Song Hao waved his fist in celebration at the camera, like he had just conquered some century-long problem. “And I even got five favorability points.”
[What do you want his favorability for? What are you trying to do?!]
[It’s capped at 99, it won’t go any higher]
[I’m seriously sick of this. I’ve never suffered this kind of grievance in any other harem game stream.]
[Has Sweet Potato Bro never opened ‘Public Opinion’?]
[Streamer, look at your public opinion, wake up a little]
Public opinion? There was actually something like that?
Following the viewers’ prompts, Song Hao opened his status panel.
〖Yuan Hao:
Literary Talent 195, Intelligence 5, Arithmetic 5;
Martial Skill 27, Physique 55;
Appearance 88, Charm 7, Romantic Reputation 5〗
Beside the status panel were four options: ‘Power,’ ‘Love Bonds,’ ‘Children,’ and ‘Public Opinion.’
‘Power’ showed not yet unlocked.
‘Love Bonds’ was completely empty.
‘Children’ was completely empty.
Because he had not topped up, ‘Public Opinion’ only let him view evaluations from the last half year.
〖June: Scholar Yuan always goes up the mountain to dig for medicinal herbs. He really works hard, what a filial child.
July: Scholar Yuan took first place at the poetry gathering. He didn’t dare speak to the young ladies, and instead dragged Scholar Wen off to drink, hahaha…
August: Yuan Juren passed as jieyuan, truly gifted in literary talent, though sadly he was injured. But I heard he moved into Juren Wen’s home to recover from his injuries. Friends looking after each other, and he recovered very quickly.
September: Juren Yuan and Juren Wen from Jinping Prefecture came to the capital. They’re both staying at the Wen residence. I heard they’ve been living together the whole time, they… Longyang… aren’t they…
October: Yuan Hao and Wen Qing actually went to a brothel in broad daylight and ordered a male escort! Morally corrupt! They must have that cut-sleeve habit. Hmph, they even changed clothes before going, so they did know it would disgrace the face of scholars, but weren’t they still recognized?
November: Yuan Hao and Wen Qing? Shh, can’t say it, the authorities are arresting people… Then don’t go telling anyone else, but my third aunt’s husband said it was Yuan Hao who kept pestering Wen Qing. Right right right, and the Wen family couldn’t afford to offend him either. Privately, they were so frightened that they were already arranging a marriage proposal for Juren Wen, to that old unmarried daughter from Shopkeeper Ke’s family. What a sin. Juren Wen’s marriage got delayed for nothing, and even Miss Ke refused to marry him. She would rather be driven out of the house!〗
“What is this? They’re spreading rumors. On what grounds are they framing me? There has to be a conspiracy!”
As for what the conspiracy was, Song Hao got stuck. He scratched his ears and head, forcing his brain cells to come up with something. Before his brain cells had submitted any plan, he started spewing random nonsense.
“Can it really be blamed on me that I’m living at the Wen residence? Playing without spending is hard. I’m firing the first shot against consumerism. And also… and also the Wen residence is just that worth it, okay? If you people were playing, you’d stay there too. Look at the food in his house. Just clicking around casually can sometimes net you attribute points.”
As Song Hao spoke, he clicked on the candied fruit beside the medicine bowl.
That had originally been there to help Wen Qing wash down the bitterness, but on the game screen, Yuan Hao walked right up, grabbed a handful, and stuffed it into his own mouth, crunch crunch crunch. Wen Qing stared at him in complete shock, lips pressed tightly together, not even daring to speak.
〖※Fatigue -1〗
“See? There’s a stat bonus. Who wouldn’t stay there? Of course I’d stay there. And about that conspiracy, I’ve got it now. I must’ve been recognized. Don’t I look like my emperor dad? There are so many officials in the capital, somebody must have noticed. Then my two brothers want to frame me, frame me as gay, so I lose my资格 to compete for the throne. That’s what this is. I’m very innocent. This is one filthy imperial succession drama.”
“They’ve got another goal too, which is to drive a wedge between me and Wen Qing. You all know how capable Wen Qing is, rich and talented, a loyal minister and fine general. If rumors make us turn against each other, that would be like cutting off one of my arms.
“So what I need to do now is keep a low profile and endure. Once emperor dad acknowledges me, I’ll marry eight wives in one go, and the rumors will collapse on their own!”
Song Hao spoke as if it were all perfectly true, and even the comment section got bluffed by him.
[Is that how it is [scratches head]]
[Could the brothel thing have been spread by Muzi Yi?]
[No way, she was totally in watching-the-fun mode. There were so many people there, no telling who let it out]
[Yeah, who doesn’t have a few spies?]
[If you really marry eight wives, are you feeding the bros empty promises?]
[Definitely empty promises. He’s got 0 money, what’s he marrying them with]
[The later plot gets way more complicated. There’s basically no time to fall in love, it’s all about building favorability early, he won’t make it in time]
[I remember there’s a political marriage character, you can get married without favorability]
[Won’t emperor dad give him some money?]
[Stop thinking about it. He’ll give a little, but not much. The official team is absurdly stingy]
“It’s not empty promises. Everything is already within my plan. In the early stage, I pretend to be gay so the enemy lowers their guard, so they think they’ve got dirt on me, think I have no chance of inheriting the throne. Then, the moment I successfully become an imperial prince, I’ll strike back immediately and catch them completely off guard!”
[Awesome, bro! [sunglasses x1]]
[Holy crap, you’ve got that many schemes?]
[The setup was this huge and you never even mentioned it in the stream [free flowers x1]]
[So smart. No wonder you’ve made it this far without spending [little yellow duck x1]]
[That feels good! I’m definitely watching till the end! [lollipop x3]]
[Huh??? Then I’m not watching the later part]
[Even if it’s BE, sisters can still ship it]
[Scumbag scumbag scumbag]
[His voice is loud and he’s talking fast, I feel like he’s making it up on the spot]
[Don’t believe him, his forehead is already sweating]
Song Hao lifted a hand and wiped his forehead. There really was sweat there, but his palms had gotten sweaty too, so wiping only made it worse.
He pretended to stay calm and flicked his hand. “It’s a little hot. I’ll turn on the air conditioner in a bit. Anyway, I already told you all the plan, just wait and see!”