KM: Chapter 23

Xu Ren dealt with Zhou Yin and tidied up the aftermath, finally giving the necessary compensation to the boss. When he turned back, You Chen was still lying there. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel You Chen's exhaustion.

He walked over silently, sat beside him, leaned back against the sofa without saying a word, and closed his eyes.

He knew You Chen was very upset. As soon as he heard something had happened, he guessed You Chen would be upset. After all, You Chen's affection for Ji An was genuine, without a hint of jest, and he never hid it in front of him.

But he never expected You Chen to be this upset.

He had followed You Chen for so many years, knowing him since childhood. He had seen You Chen send people to the hospital many times, and he had seen You Chen, half-covered in blood, gritting his teeth and pinning someone to the ground, narrowly escaping defeat.

You Chen had faced struggles and embarrassment, albeit rarely.

You Chen had never bowed his head.

You Chen was someone who, even when bleeding profusely, would remain the overseer, someone who, even when unable to open his eyes, would be the winner, someone who, no matter what, would never admit to pain.

Because of this, Xu Ren felt like he was dreaming.

He never thought You Chen would use the word "beg" towards him, never thought You Chen would be lying on the sofa in such a desolate state, saying nothing, as if the world around him were void, trying to detach himself from this world.

Even if You Chen didn't speak of pain, Xu Ren could feel You Chen's pain.

You Chen's pain was too quiet.

So quiet it seemed nonexistent, yet when felt, it was shockingly abundant and deep.

Xu Ren didn't know how much time had passed, feeling like dawn was near, when the person beside him finally moved. He opened his eyes and turned his head to see You Chen holding a phone, making a call to someone, with no expression on his face.

The phone rang a few times before being hung up on the other end, a busy tone following. You Chen didn't blink, dialing again.

Xu Ren knew then, it was a call to Ji An.

The second time, it wasn't hung up, but no one answered. The phone kept ringing until it automatically disconnected, and You Chen dialed again.

This cycle repeated, and Xu Ren lost count of how many times You Chen called, but he kept calling, and when no one answered, he kept calling.

Even though You Chen showed no expression, Xu Ren's eyes stung with emotion.

He couldn't help but turn his face away, hoping Ji An would answer the phone soon, even if they were to part, at least say a few words to You Chen.

Xu Ren waited and waited until he lost hope, when the call finally connected.

Then there was silence in the air, no one spoke, You Chen didn't speak, and neither did Ji An.

You Chen didn't know what to say, and after a long silence, he hoarsely asked, "Baby, is your face swollen? Did you apply ice? Does it still hurt?"

There was no sound from the receiver, but You Chen knew it was Ji An who answered and knew Ji An must have heard.

He waited a long time for a reply, full of nasal sound.

"No, it doesn't hurt."

Yet You Chen felt Ji An was in unbearable pain.

He opened his mouth several times, unable to say anything, even though he had so much to say.

The air seemed filled with invisible ice blades, and each breath cut his throat.

"Ji An, you didn't… hold onto me."

You Chen blinked, his nose stinging with a sharp pain, softly repeating, "It's you who didn't hold onto me."

The other side softly responded, "Yes, I… didn't… hold… onto you. Move… forward, You Chen. Don't… look back."

You Chen suddenly slammed the sofa in rage, shouting, "You have no right to order me, Ji An!"

There was a moment of silence on the other end, then a very clear sentence came through, "I'm… begging… you, You Chen."

"Begging… you… to forget… me."

The phone beeped as it was hung up, and You Chen's "No" couldn't be conveyed. He bent over with force, calling Ji An's name, calling it several times, then fell silent, unmoving.

Xu Ren sighed, ordered a lot of alcohol, opened a bottle and pushed it towards You Chen, then opened another for himself, drinking it alone. By the third bottle, You Chen sat up, grabbed the bottle, and gulped it down.

Xu Ren said nothing, opening several more bottles, and You Chen drank them recklessly, without pausing for breath.

He didn't reach out to stop him, saying, "You-ge, do you want to die? No one drinks like this."

"If something happens to you, you'll really have to forget Ji An."

You Chen paused, suddenly laughed, put down the bottle, turned to look at him, and said, "He's begging me to forget him, so why not grant his wish?"

Xu Ren looked at him, "Can you bear it?"

You Chen didn't speak, leaned back on the sofa, his gaze unfocused as he stared at the bar counter, pointing after a while, "He looks like Ji An, call him over, and say a few words to him."

Xu Ren turned to look in the direction he pointed, then immediately frowned, asking, "The one in white?"

"Yes."

Xu Ren frowned deeper, but had no choice but to go over and speak a few words, bringing the person over to You Chen's side, and started a casual conversation.

You Chen didn't say a word, just kept staring at the young man, making his face turn red.

Just as the young man was about to speak, You Chen waved his hand, "Take him away."

Xu Ren took the person away again.

You Chen continued drinking, and when Xu Ren returned, he asked, "Does he look like him? In what way?"

"He's wearing white clothes."

"What?" Xu Ren couldn't believe it, "Just because he's wearing white clothes? So many people wear white, do you think they all look like Ji An?"

"Yes."

You Chen looked at Xu Ren.

"Right now, everyone looks like Ji An to me."

He laughed, then said, "You look like him too."

Xu Ren was taken aback, not knowing how to respond for a while, finally saying, "You're drunk, ge."

"Yes, I hope I'm drunk too."

You Chen laughed, raising his right hand, lazily draping his arm over his eyes, blocking the dim blue lights of the bar.

"Guess why Ji An got expelled while I'm fine."

"…Why?"

"Because Ji An said he seduced me, and said all those rumors were true. He told the principal to ask a classmate for more information."

Xu Ren's temples throbbed violently, he never expected Ji An to say that.

You Chen sighed deeply.

"Don't speak ill of Ji An anymore."

Xu Ren felt his eyes being pierced with sharp tools, the pain was excruciating. Why did You Chen use a childish word like "ill" to describe those unbearable rumors?

Was he trying to deceive himself? Using such words to lessen the consciousness of Ji An's suffering.

Xu Ren turned back, You Chen remained in that posture without moving, he couldn't see You Chen's eyes, couldn't find an answer.

In a daze, he seemed drunk too, everything around him roared past like a train, time seemed to have passed a long time.

He never saw Ji An again, and there were no more filthy rumors at school. Ji An disappeared from the school overnight, and those rumors disappeared overnight too.

He didn't know if this was good or bad, because when all the rumors disappeared, there was no evidence of this person's existence.

Did Ji An ever exist?

Xu Ren never saw You Chen gleefully buying sour candy at the store, never saw You Chen suddenly checking his phone while playing basketball, never saw the arrogant and conceited You Chen.

You Chen remained as cold and harsh as before, but his pride was replaced by a deathly stillness.

Xu Ren drank heavily, and when he woke up, Ji An was gone, and so was You Chen.