WWC | Chapter 15

Su Tingyan had spent the entire night thinking about having to go to the Audit Office the next day, and as soon as he woke up, he kept urging Qinghai to get the carriage ready.

But the moment he got out of bed, his limbs went weak and he nearly toppled over and joined the immortals.

Qinghai came running at the sound, hurriedly catching his family’s old ancestor, and when he touched his forehead, it was so hot it could have baked pancakes.

“My lord, you must have caught a chill last night. Your head’s burning up! Rest today, and I’ll go fetch a doctor right away!”

Su Tingyan fell back onto the bed, seeing stars. “I think… I saw my great-grandmother come to take me away…”

Qinghai had already run off to find a doctor, and Su Tingyan still wanted to give some instructions, though he did not know whether anyone could still hear him.

“Qingmian, Qingmian, are you there? Listen to me, no matter what happens today, you have to guard our estate gate… Don’t let anyone come visit me…”

“Xie Zheng is not allowed, the Sixth Prince is not allowed, Li Xing is not allowed, and Lu Xuan is even more not allowed…!”

He remembered how those lurid comics and filthy novels loved this kind of setup, with lines like how a fever made things even more irresistible once one got up, or how the body burned hot and the inside was even hotter…

Other people took advantage of the sick and tried to take a life. Here, at his place, it had become taking advantage of the sick and trying to get inside.

He absolutely could not let his guard down!

After listening for ages from the beam, Qingmian still did not understand a word. He only remembered what My Lord had said, that General Xie was not allowed. Not allowed where?

The Sixth Prince was not allowed either?

Li Xing? Wasn’t Li Xing the Jinyiwei Commander?! How could he not be allowed!?

And that treacherous official Lord Lu was not allowed either?!

Qingmian remained silent for a long while, only after digesting that long list of people who were “not allowed” did he finally manage to process it. But the tangled web behind those names was still beyond him.

Qingmian replied, “This subordinate obeys, dear My Lord. If anyone comes, I will say that My Lord is gravely injured and near death, and is not fit to receive visitors!”

Su Tingyan: “…”

“Avoid speaking ill omens, avoid speaking ill omens, Qing! I’m only asking you to tell a little lie, not curse me to death…!” Su Tingyan corrected weakly.

“Yes, dear My Lord, this subordinate will absolutely not let anyone step into our residence today!” Qingmian’s voice vanished from the beam, presumably off to carry out the order.

His fever had so thoroughly boiled his brain that it was full of all sorts of bizarre, chaotic scenes.

He saw himself pinching pastry over and over to de-stress, while in front of him a crowd of men gathered around, the corrupt official Lu Xuan, General Xie Zheng, Prince Yan Che, Commander Li Xing, all of them wanting the pastry he had personally kneaded with his own hands.

He lifted his hand and tossed a big handful into the air, and they scrambled over it like mad, and he suddenly felt like he was feeding chickens.

While that wild train of thought was still racing through his head, Qinghai had already dragged in a white-bearded old doctor in a fluster.

After a round of looking, listening, questioning, and taking the pulse, the old doctor stroked his beard and gave his diagnosis: “Lord Su has been struck by external wind-cold, with evil qi entering the body. On top of that, he has thought too much and overworked himself, injuring his interior, which is why he has developed a high fever.”

“He needs a few doses of medicine, proper sweating, and rest. Most of all, he must not strain his mind or lose his temper again.”

When Su Tingyan heard the words “rest properly,” joy almost burst right through his sickly face.

He immediately said to Qinghai, “Quick! Go to the palace at once and ask for leave for me. I won’t need to attend court for the next month!”

Qinghai laughed and cried at the same time. “…My lord!”

He was already this sick, and all he could think about was whether he could slack off!

But what Qinghai did not know was that his lord’s mind was not entirely on slacking off either.

It was just that the things in there were not suitable for a straight man to know.

Su Tingyan then instructed, “Don’t stand there frozen! On your way, also go to the Audit Office and tell Cui Hong and the others to thoroughly investigate Zhao Yushi’s dealings over the past few years, organize everything, and present it to me.”

Qinghai was just about to go and do as told, when his lord thought about it and added another small request: “When you come back, take a detour to the city’s best pastry shop, the one with the line stretching all the way to the city gate every day, and bring back their most popular pastries for me.”

Taking medicine was not scary. What was scary was taking something bitter.

Qinghai stood there without moving for a long while.

Su Tingyan thought he was unwilling. “What? I’m already so sick I can’t even tell humans from animals, and you still won’t listen to this tiny command?!”

Qinghai was helpless. “This subordinate was only waiting to see whether My Lord had any other requests to add.”

Su Tingyan thought it over for a moment. “No more.”

Qinghai looked doubtful. “Really none?”

Su Tingyan nodded firmly. “Really none.”

Qinghai finally relaxed. He had only taken half a step out the door when he heard his lord suddenly speak again, “Oh, right!”

Qinghai: “…” He knew it!

“Go to the Imperial Academy too, and tell them I won’t be teaching classes during this period either.”

Qinghai: “…My lord!”

Su Tingyan quickly fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes to play dead. “I’m sleeping, An’an.”

The medicine was soon brewed and brought over, a pitch-black bowl giving off a smell so bitter it was enough to make one despair.

Holding the bowl, Su Tingyan tried to pretend. “The bowl’s too heavy, I can’t lift it. I’ll drink it when I feel better.”

Right now, he was a complete and utter weakling.

“What’s there to drink medicine for once you’re already better, My Lord?” Qingbao stood by the bedside like a smiling tiger, not moving an inch. “This subordinate can feed you.”

“If My Lord can’t accept that, this subordinate can immediately go fetch General Xie, Lord Lu, the Sixth Prince, or the Jinyiwei Commander to feed you instead?”

Su Tingyan jolted. “…Y-you eavesdropped on me talking to Qingmian!”

Qingbao gave a helpless laugh. “My lord, you shouted so loudly this morning that everyone in the entire residence heard you!”

Su Tingyan: “……..” So it turned out that what came faster than dying of sickness was dying of social death.

With great reluctance, he pinched his nose and gulped it down. All he felt was his soul being sublimated. It was all his fault for only ever drinking lattes before, never Americanos.

If he were marinated in Americano, would he still fear this little bowl of Chinese medicine?

The medicine took effect, and Su Tingyan quickly slipped back into an uncontrollable sleep.

No one knew how much time had passed before he struggled awake in a haze of dryness, only to feel as though a blade had been swallowed in his throat, each breath carrying sharp pain.

“W-water…” he whimpered weakly, unable to even lift his heavy eyelids.

A cup of clean water was gently brought to his lips.

Then a cold hand supported the back of his neck, allowing him to drink smoothly.

With sweet water sliding down his throat, Su Tingyan let out a satisfied sigh, and a bit of his awareness returned.

But the presence beside him… did not feel like Qinghai, not like Qingbao, and even less like Qingmian.

He forced his eyes open. His blurry vision slowly focused, and the first thing he saw was a striking corner of clothing. The fabric was obviously expensive, embroidered with intricate gold-threaded scrolling lotus patterns.

Su Tingyan: “…………”

He had a very bad feeling about this. Slowly, stiffly, he looked up along the robe.

If heaven had eyes and karma truly existed, the person before him should have been born into rotten flesh and decayed bone. Yet instead, that face was brilliant and dazzling, beautiful beyond measure, with a hint of amused smile at the moment, looking down at him from above.

Su Tingyan blurted out, “Lu Xuan?!”

Lu Xuan was sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand holding the teacup he had just used to feed him water, the other arm wrapped around him.

“Awake, Lord Su?” His voice still carried that unique husky magnetism, making it especially seductive in the quiet bedroom.

Su Tingyan desperately wanted to sit farther away, but a wave of dizziness defeated him, and he fell softly back again, able only to glare. “…How did you get in here? Where’s Qingmian?!”

Lu Xuan gave a low laugh, set down the teacup, and neatly tucked the blanket around him. “Lord Su’s delirious rambling in sickness was truly something else.”

He did not answer directly, but instead leaned closer, a languid smile filling his narrow eyes. “You kept muttering things like ‘not allowed,’ ‘don’t come over,’ and ‘the inside is even hotter.’ Lord Lu is very curious.”

Su Tingyan instantly felt half-dead. “You have no manners. How can you eavesdrop on other people’s sleep talk?”

“And you trespassed into the residence of a court official. Do you know what crime that is?”

“Hm?” Lu Xuan laughed outright. “Take a closer look. Where do you think this is?”

Su Tingyan looked around, only then realizing that this was not his own residence at all.

His bedroom was nowhere near this luxurious. This place was so grand that it almost made him feel as though he were lying in the emperor’s bed.

He had not gotten down to walk, but even a casual glance told him it would take several minutes just to go from the bed to the door.

Su Tingyan suddenly remembered an ad he had once seen on his phone, something like: If Heshen were still alive, which layout in the First-Rank Corrupt Official residence would he live in?

Corrupt officials, all of you damned corrupt officials!

Su Tingyan clenched his fist and slammed the blanket twice. The bed felt like it was made of gold, and the impact hurt his hand.

Lu Xuan said, “I heard that Lord Su was critically ill and near death, so I was deeply worried and specially went to visit. Who would have thought your estate guards wouldn’t let me in? With no other choice, I had to have people bring you to my residence for careful care.”

“At the time, Lord Su was lying all alone in bed, not even having anyone to pour tea or water for you. It was truly heartbreaking to see.”

Damn it!

In his heart, Su Tingyan cursed Qingmian ten thousand times. Damn Qingmian, this month’s salary, no, next month’s, no, even next life’s salary was gone!

You can’t even guard the house properly!! Just you wait, if one day My Lord really gets ravaged, what are you going to use to repay the chastity debt you owe me?!

And what kind of god was this Lu Xuan anyway? If he wasn’t allowed in, he just moved the person out???

At that moment, faint footsteps came from outside. A maid entered with her head bowed, carrying a fresh bowl of medicine, and said respectfully, “My lord, the medicine is ready.”

Su Tingyan quietly counted. The maid had actually taken nearly four full minutes just to get from the doorway to the bedside.

Lu Xuan motioned for her to set it down, then personally picked up the bowl. The jade spoon stirred, and the rolling steam instantly blurred the overly beautiful lines of his face, making him seem oddly gentle.

Su Tingyan’s alarm bells went off at once.

“Come, Lord Su, it’s time to take your medicine.” Lu Xuan scooped up a spoonful, blew on it, and held it to his lips.

Su Tingyan pressed his lips together tightly. “You didn’t already poison it, did you?”

Lu Xuan raised a brow. “Poison it? Lord Su, rest assured. Even if I were going to poison you, I wouldn’t do it at a time like this.”

He suddenly lowered his voice and leaned closer, flashing an ambiguous blink. “What I want to see more is not your seven apertures bleeding.”

You son of a bitch, there he went again!

Su Tingyan’s heart went dead as he took the bowl himself. Just as he was about to drink, he suddenly asked, “Lord Lu, give me a straight answer. While I was unconscious, did you ever really do anything improper to me?”

Lu Xuan gave no clear answer, his expression profound and unreadable. “Does Lord Su think I’m some sort of upright gentleman?”

Of course not! Otherwise why ask at all?

“If the one I like were lying in my own bed, even if I were a eunuch, I’d probably get hard on the spot.”

Su Tingyan: “…” What a bizarre metaphor.

Hearing him say that, Su Tingyan finally sighed in resignation, then said leisurely, “In that case, I suppose I’m also Lord Lu’s man now. I hope Lord Lu will pity me and answer one question, all right?”

Lu Xuan suppressed a laugh. Looking at him like this, he surprisingly thought he was somewhat cute. “What question?”

“Lord Su surely isn’t about to ask whether this official plans to take responsibility for you, is he?”

Su Tingyan shook his head. His gaze sharpened, and when he spoke again, all trace of teasing was gone. “Was Zhao Shuyan’s death related to you?”

His eyes were frosted with blades, and although his sickly face was pale and exhausted, it still cut through the hazy medicinal air.

The smile at the corner of Lu Xuan’s mouth faded a little as he studied Su Tingyan carefully.

This little fox, no one knew where he had grown up, but he was resilient and cautious, with a wildness that came out whenever he hunted. Guarded and sly, and not easy to bully at all.

After a long moment, he smiled again, though this time there was no hint of frivolity in it.

“Lord Su,” he said, shaking his head, “you’re already so sick I can’t bear to look at you, and yet you still keep this matter in mind?”

He leaned forward. “If I said it was related, what would you do? Drag this sickly, broken body out of bed right now and impeach me, or have your Audit Office immediately come and arrest me and bring me to justice?”

Su Tingyan did not move at all, only looked at him quietly. “I only want the truth.”

“The truth is…” Lu Xuan said slowly, “that little stone Zhao Shuyan isn’t worth me personally making a move, and it’s even less worth using such a crude method to move him aside.”

“Killing him would do more harm than good. Besides angering a straight-laced minister like you, and making that band of crazy purists even more united, what good would it bring? Do I look like someone who likes making trouble for himself?”

Su Tingyan thought it over. Lu Xuan’s words were half true and half false.

Zhao Shuyan did seem like someone who might get in Lu Xuan’s way, but with Lu Xuan’s personality, if he moved, he would never leave behind any evidence, and he certainly would not use such a high-profile fire.

And right now, killing Zhao Shuyan was the worst possible timing.

“So it really wasn’t you?” Su Tingyan pressed, refusing to let go of even the slightest change in his expression.

Lu Xuan snorted and lightly tapped the rim of the bowl with the jade spoon. “Be good and drink your medicine. If you keep dawdling, it’ll get cold.”

That was practically a roundabout admission that the arson had not been his doing.

Su Tingyan looked back at the fatal little bowl of black water, then after a moment, set the bowl down exactly as it had been. “My own estate has medicine, so I won’t drink yours.”

Only then did Lu Xuan belatedly realize something. His narrow phoenix eyes narrowed. “You talked to me about all this nonsense just because you’re afraid of bitterness, and wanted to use that to dodge taking medicine?”

Su Tingyan lifted the blanket without changing his expression and got out of bed steadily. “How could I be afraid of bitterness? I’m the kind of person who fears nothing less than hardship. Being an official is a bitter business, and a person in office is, by nature, a bitter person. With every step up in rank comes one more step of responsibility, one more step of diligence and worry. I will take making the people prosperous and happy as merit, and letting them suffer poverty and hardship as my crime. I will worry before the world worries, and enjoy after the world enjoys, so now I’m going back to my residence to investigate the case. I won’t trouble Lord Lu any further.”

Lu Xuan: “…”

If you were afraid of bitterness, just say so. Why come up with such a grand and righteous speech?

Lu Xuan watched him flee in his weak state, the curve of his lips growing deeper and deeper.

He had not expected that today’s episode would let him see another side of Su Zhao.

So he was afraid of bitter medicine too? Truly interesting.

As Su Tingyan walked, he counted the time, and sure enough, every trip took at least four minutes. All his time every day was spent on going out and climbing into bed.

If he had to live here, he would be depressed in a day and exhausted to death in three.

As expected, lazy people could never become corrupt officials in this lifetime!

Author’s Note:

———————-

My guiding principle is this, one goofy chapter, one serious chapter, one unhinged chapter [sparkle praise]

Hahaha, don’t doubt it, yes, I’ve been tortured crazy by work again and again [sparkle praise]

By the way, sweethearts, don’t feel like the romance is moving slowly. If nothing unexpected happens, I might, probably, go VIP next Wednesday. For the first three days after V, I’ll update ten thousand words a day, a big juicy feast, and we’ll get to the romance line very soon~

Heeheeheeheehee, nobody can definitely guess who Yan Yan’s romance line is really with, can’t guess it, can’t guess it, can’t guess it, la la la la la la [sparkle praise][sparkle praise][sparkle praise]