PH | Chapter 1

Joke

Yan patriarch had many wives and concubines, and the family had many children. Zhu Xin was also Yan patriarch’s child, but he did not bear the Yan surname. There were many reasons for that—perhaps because of his malformed body, or perhaps because his mother was a prostitute born in a brothel, the lowest and most despicable kind of woman. Since the day he entered this family, he had endured bullying and contempt from everyone in it.

He had not come to this family of his own will. His mother sent him here when she was dying. At first, he longed very much to integrate this home. It was a real home, with a roof that sheltered him from wind and rain, with an old and elegant courtyard, without strange visitors, without men coming and going at will…

This was the home of his dreams. Yet this home had too many people and too many children; it was split into pieces, with all sorts of cliques. He could not integrate any of them, and lived lonely and isolated in this house.

Yan patriarch was very busy. Zhu Xin had never really seen him; even when he did, it was from far away. Many people would crowd around Yan patriarch. Zhu Xin was the least favored one, so he could not squeeze forward and get in the way.

Compared with the Yan patriarch he could never really meet, the person Zhu Xin saw more often was Yan Jianzhi. He was First Madam’s son, the family’s eldest son, and Yan patriarch placed high hopes on him.

First Madam had two sons, Yan Jianzhi and Yan Bingzhi. Yan Jianzhi was the outstanding eldest young master, while Yan Bingzhi was the unruly ninth young master.

By seniority, Zhu Xin should have been the family’s seventh young master, but no one treated him as a young master. Yan Bingzhi was always cursing him, calling him a tranny, saying that when he grew up he would become a butt-selling rabbit, and always using all sorts of methods to bully him. Beatings were the most common.

When he was in a good mood, Yan Bingzhi would soak Zhu Xin’s bedding, kick his chair while he was eating, smash his bowls and chopsticks, and so on…

Zhu Xin understood in his heart: Yan Bingzhi’s mother was the daughter of a government official, while he was born to a prostitute. Heaven and earth were as different as heaven and earth. Thanks to that old lecher, Yan patriarch, his lowly status fortunately allowed him to enjoy the same status and treatment as Yan Bingzhi. Yan Bingzhi hated him and looked down on him; that was only natural.

And when Yan Bingzhi bullied him too viciously, Yan Jianzhi would occasionally appear and, with an expressionless face, tell Yan Bingzhi to restrain himself.

Zhu Xin respected Yan Jianzhi very much in his heart, because Yan Jianzhi was the family’s elder brother, the most outstanding child. He took Yan Jianzhi as his role model. He knew Yan Jianzhi also looked down on him, yet he still respected Yan Jianzhi.

In the year Zhu Xin turned thirteen, he met sixteen-year-old Li Xiao.

Because they were close in age, Zhu Xin often studied at the same school as Yan Bingzhi. Yan Bingzhi would lead the bullying against him at school, and Zhu Xin had no friends there.

Zhu Xin didn’t care. He only wanted to study hard. He was the son of a prostitute, born lower than others. Yan Bingzhi could openly be an empty-headed fool, but Zhu Xin could not. His fate was already miserable, so he could not sink any further. Since he had been fortunate enough to come to the Yan family, he had to seize every chance to change his fate.

That day, Zhu Xin was blocked outside the school by Yan Bingzhi and a group of hooligans.

Li Xiao drove the hooligans away. From then on, Zhu Xin had his only friend. For Zhu Xin, a friend was something incredibly rare and precious; it was a treasure. He treated Li Xiao sincerely.

Li Xiao asked him what his name was.

He said his surname was Meng, and his name was Meng Zhu Xin. No one in the Yan family acknowledged him, so he sensibly did not mention the Yan surname.

“Meng” was not really anyone’s surname either; it was the flower name his mother used in the brothel. His mother didn’t seem to have a name, so naturally she had no surname…

Li Xiao’s brother was a division commander stationed in the Jiang Zhe area. He told Zhu Xin that if anyone bullied him again, he should come to him, and he would stand up for him.

But he did not tell Zhu Xin that he was naturally inclined toward men, and Zhu Xin happened to be a beautiful and lovely boy.

So Zhu Xin lived in the Yan family enduring humiliation. He found ways to amuse himself. Since no one liked him, he hid in the corners of the house and did not get in anyone’s way. He was very well-behaved, very understanding, and lived carefully in the vast, cold Yan family.

Even though life was hard, Zhu Xin still faced everything with a positive attitude. In this chaotic era, being able to grow up in the Yan family was already fortunate enough. He could go to school, he could read books. Compared with people whose lives were full of hardship, his still held endless hope.

His grades were excellent. He could get into a very good university. After university, he could have a respectable job. By then, perhaps he would also earn others’ respect.

The environment Zhu Xin grew up in was rough enough. He thought that as long as he respected himself, loved himself, studied hard, and did not care about others’ opinions, his future would be as beautiful as he imagined.

But heaven wanted to go against him. When he was sixteen, one after another, events that changed his life began to happen.

Yan Jianzhi, who had gone abroad to study, returned to the country during the holidays.

By then, Zhu Xin had shed his childish baby fat and grown into a graceful young man. He had already been cute and good-looking; as he got older, his features became even more striking and beautiful.

Yan Bingzhi still picked fights every day. Zhu Xin tried his best to avoid him, but Yan Bingzhi seemed to bear a grudge against him, always approaching him with malice, insulting him, and beating him.

Until one day, Yan Bingzhi noticed that Zhu Xin seemed to be growing prettier and prettier.

He developed even more vicious thoughts. He knew Zhu Xin was a monster. When Zhu Xin first arrived at the Yan family, he was still an ignorant child. A servant bathed him and discovered his special body. From then on, it was no longer a secret in the Yan family.

Yan Bingzhi wanted to use even more vicious methods to humiliate Zhu Xin. He wanted to strip Zhu Xin’s pants off and let everyone see the monster’s ugly body.

Yan Bingzhi and several other brothers he brought with him cornered Zhu Xin in the garden. They wanted to strip off Zhu Xin’s pants and put a dog collar around his neck.

Zhu Xin was no longer an ignorant child. He was already grown, with excellent grades. He had dignity and shame; he would rather be beaten than suffer such humiliation.

Luckily, Yan Jianzhi, who had just returned to the country, appeared and stopped the farce.

Zhu Xin looked at Yan Jianzhi as if looking at a god. His life was so distorted that in his heart, as long as someone didn’t bully him… that person was a good person…

When he first came to the Yan family, Yan Bingzhi had bullied him in the same way. Back then they were both children, and Yan Bingzhi had heard the adults say that Zhu Xin was a monster. Though he did not understand what that meant, he still wanted to pull down Zhu Xin’s pants and find out.

It was Yan Jianzhi who dragged Yan Bingzhi away.

Yan Jianzhi had saved him twice…

Zhu Xin wanted to thank Yan Jianzhi. He bought a fountain pen with money earned from a part-time job at the newspaper office and wanted to give it to Yan Jianzhi. Yan Jianzhi was very disdainful of Zhu Xin suddenly appearing at his door, and equally disdainful of the fountain pen in Zhu Xin’s hand. Zhu Xin wore a pleasing smile on his face; it was the first time he had taken the initiative to draw near to someone in this family.

Yan Jianzhi’s expression was cold. His voice was even colder: “Don’t bother me.”

Zhu Xin looked at the tightly shut door, clutching the fountain pen in his hand, standing helplessly at the doorway. Only then did he understand that Yan Jianzhi’s stopping Yan Bingzhi was merely to preserve the family’s face… His status was too lowly; for Yan Jianzhi, dealing with someone as lowly as him was a deeply shameful thing.

Yes, their statuses were worlds apart. The Yan brothers stood so high above him. Even when Yan Bingzhi arrogantly humiliated him from a position of power, Yan Jianzhi still found it filthy and unbearable.

And yet, after getting drunk one time…

Yan Jianzhi and the filthy, worthless Zhu Xin had sex….

Zhu Xin, who was working part-time at the newspaper office, did not return home until the night was pitch-black. In the front courtyard, he ran into Yan Jianzhi, who had just come home by car.

Yan Jianzhi staggered out of the car drunk, and Zhu Xin, together with the chauffeur, helped him back into the house.

After the chauffeur left, Zhu Xin helped Yan Jianzhi onto the bed, but Yan Jianzhi pinned Zhu Xin down…

….

Zhu Xin bled a great deal. He cried out in pain, but he could not call back Yan Jianzhi’s reason.

It was an absurd night.

Zhu Xin spent that night in terror and confusion.

Yan Jianzhi insisted he had drunk too much and lost control of himself.

Zhu Xin did not believe it. The whole night! Could drinking make someone lose their reason for an entire night? Only a ghost would believe that!

Ever since Zhu Xin became sensible, after learning of his body’s special nature, he was always scolded. Others called him a monster, a tranny. His mother was a prostitute, so others also called him a whore, a butt-selling rabbit.

Zhu Xin understood dignity and self-respect better than most people. He was afraid of being looked down on, afraid of becoming the trash others talked about…

But on that night, he became trash…

Yan Jianzhi could not possibly have lost his reason all night. Yan Jianzhi did it on purpose—on purpose to humiliate him, to use him like a piece of trash….

The next day, Yan Jianzhi brought food to Zhu Xin, who was hiding in his room.

Zhu Xin neither heard nor saw, and his heart was filled with despair. He hated Yan Jianzhi to the core. He admired and respected Yan Jianzhi, and would rather be looked down on by Yan Jianzhi than be humiliated by him in the way Zhu Xin despised most.

They were biological brothers.

Yan Jianzhi’s actions not only insulted his character, but also violated morality and ethics!

Zhu Xin did not want to look at the hypocritical face Yan Jianzhi wore after sleeping with him. He ran out of the house, and Li Xiao took him in.

Li Xiao was a very awful person. His brother was a division commander, and he had the habits of a soldier thug. Zhu Xin turned a blind eye to Li Xiao’s bad habits, because this was his only friend, always helping him stand up for himself and vent his anger. Friends always shield each other’s bad habits.

However, Zhu Xin had underestimated how bad Li Xiao could be. Li Xiao was a despicable and vulgar person to the extreme.

Li Xiao noticed that Zhu Xin was getting prettier and prettier, so pretty that he could not control himself. He put a white pill into Zhu Xin’s cup and climbed into Zhu Xin’s bed.

When Zhu Xin woke from unconsciousness, he limped out of Li Xiao’s house. He felt as though the sky had fallen.

Why had it become like this? He was born lowly, but he was not base. Why did no one respect his shame and dignity? Why did everyone come to humiliate him?

Yan Jianzhi and Li Xiao found the Zhu Xin wandering the streets together. Yan Jianzhi more justifiably took Zhu Xin away.

Yan Jianzhi forcibly took Zhu Xin away, forcibly brought Zhu Xin to see a doctor…

There, Zhu Xin was horrified to learn that he was pregnant… His malformed body could actually conceive?!

Yan Jianzhi took him to terminate the pregnancy. Their blood ties could not produce a child.

Zhu Xin had been malformed since birth, born weak and frail. At the hospital, he was sick as though he might die at any moment. Rarely acting like a human being, Yan Jianzhi told Zhu Xin to leave, but Zhu Xin said, “I’m your brother.”

When Zhu Xin needed a brother, Yan Jianzhi had never given him a second glance. Yet after doing something so filthy, Yan Jianzhi could still righteously say, “I’m your brother.”

Disgusting. Too disgusting…

Yan Jianzhi brought the weak Zhu Xin back home.

Zhu Xin discovered that the bedding in his room had become brand new and soft. He had lived in this family like a wandering ghost, lonely and forgotten. No one had ever cared about him.

Now, Yan Jianzhi seemed to have noticed his existence.

Yet these cheap favors only made Zhu Xin feel even more disgusted and hateful!

His birth made him sensitive and insecure. He had endured contempt and humiliation. He only wanted dignity and respect; he only wanted to live like a human being! He did not need cheap favors after sex! Those favors made him sick, as if they were whore’s fees!

He yearned for the future and carefully maintained everything he thought noble. Yan Jianzhi was the elder brother he admired; he took Yan Jianzhi as his role model. Li Xiao was his only friend; he treated Li Xiao as his spiritual support.

And yet all the dignity he thought he had was in fact just them treating him as the lowest kind of trash! As a male prostitute!

He was a ridiculous joke. His body, his birth, and everything that happened to him were all a joke! He loathed the people who treated him as a joke and turned him into one.

…

After just returning home, Zhu Xin ran away from home again. No one cared about his existence, and no one knew he had left.

Only Yan Jianzhi knew.

Yan Jianzhi found him again and said to him, “Come home and live there. I’m going back to the United States to study. You won’t see me at home.”

Yan Jianzhi also left him a sum of money, telling him that if Yan Bingzhi acted up, he should move out…

When Yan Jianzhi returned to the country after earning his doctorate, Yan patriarch’s health had deteriorated day by day.

Yan Jianzhi gradually took over everything in the family, but in his heart he kept thinking of one person…

That person was no longer in the Yan family. It was said he had been admitted to Yanjing University and gone to Beiping…