PP Chapter 17

[A new guild notice has been registered.]

[‘If anyone other than Peach is caught touching the 4th guild safe, that human will become Mango’s satisfying poop on that very day. Watch your wrists.’]

Not long after that notice went up, ‘Cherry Coke,’ who was standing in one spot doing the hula dance, spoke up.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: But I’m already Mango’s satisfying poop, though.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: Is it okay if I slylyㅎ steal some? Hm? Is it?

[Guild] Won: Shut up, Chaei, before I go to your house and smear Mango’s poop on your face.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: Wow, seriously way too harsh ㅠ I’m a girl… I’m a girl too!! Why is this simp so cold to me?? Where else would you find a special and charming girl like me!

[Guild] Coke Cola: Does she seriously, genuinely not know…

[Guild] FastAndPissedOff: I think she already said the answer herself.

Regardless of what the guild members said, ‘Cherry Coke’ was confident, and Won didn’t listen.

While the guild members continuously logged in and out, Won silently just filled the safe.

​He had been doing that for a while when he welcomed Dohwa, who had logged in the moment he got out of school.

[‘Peach’ has logged into the guild <Half-Assers Dont Deserve To Live>.]

[Guild] Won: Peach, you’re here?

[Guild] Peach: Hellooo!!! !!

[Guild] Peach: Yeah! Hyung, my pparents said they’d send me to an academy!! I did what you said and they gave me permissionn.

[Guild] Won : Really? That’s great. Study hard at the academy, and make sure you come to my university.

[Guild] Won : Our college campus is pretty.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: Our college campus is pretty my a♡♡.

[Guild] Nana’s True Wife: Bleeeuuurgh (Dazzling vomit)(Dazzling vomit)(Dazzling vomit)

[Guild] Nana’s True Wife: Did the Guild Master eat something wrong? Well, he’s always been in a spoiled ssstate.

[‘Won’ has demoted ‘NanasFirstWife’ from ‘Untouchable Peasant’ to ‘Mango’sSatisfyingPoop’.]

[Guild] Nana’s True Wife: Hmph, you think that’ll make me a reformed angel???

[Guild] Won : You mean turn over a new leaf (reform)…

[Guild] Cherry Coke: Wow, that’s seriously low-IQ.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: It’s a talent in itself to make others feel their IQ dropping just by looking at it. Be proud.

[Guild] Nana’s True Wife: Thanks for the cheer, Noona. But I was already proud.

[Guild] Cherry Coke: I misspoke. Please, I’m begging you, lose some confidence.

He didn’t know about losing confidence, but a conversation continued where he just wished everyone would fuck off somewhere.

He was about to look away from the chat window entirely when a whisper arrived.

[Whisper] Peach: Hyung, where are you?

[Whisper] Won: I’m in the garden outside the guild castle. Are you coming?

[Whisper] Peach: Y-es!!

Not long after the bright reply came up, something could be seen running toward him from afar.

The one running over with light pink hair fluttering was none other than Dohwa.

Perhaps because he used the light pink dye he had gifted him, the wedding dress dyed in a pretty pink suited his polygon well.

Even though he knew a man was inside… since what was visible to the eye was a girl, Won was able to spam the head-patting emotion expression quite naturally.

Ignoring the demonic hands reaching out from all over—Shall we go check the DPS meter to see how much our youngest has grown? Don’t go to that yeomisae, come play with me! Wanna go do some f♡♡king fun player-killing with hyung? etc.—Dohwa steadfastly guarded Won’s side.

Naturally, ever since Won found out Dohwa was a guy, he didn’t show the same level of after-care service as before.

However, instead of leaving a review saying, “The service here is f♡♡king terrible. 1 star,” Dohwa stayed by his side, continuously talking to draw Won’s attention.

He was so talkative that one might think he was someone who had finally opened his mouth after a lifetime of a vow of silence.

Actually, that wasn’t a particularly surprising sight.

At least within <Half-Assers Dont Deserve To Live>—or <DieHalf-Assers♡> for short—it was a sight he had grown quite accustomed to over the past few days.

Just as ’21st Century No Yeah’ cursed out his bald boss, ‘Professor Execution’ talked about 101 ways to kill a professor in his characteristically calm tone, ‘Cherry Coke’ and ‘FastAndPissedOff’ bit at each other, and Won, the representative of all of them, only talked about girls.

Similarly, it was familiar for Dohwa to cling to Won and rattle on about things he hadn’t even been asked, while Won quietly listened.

Of course, being familiar with something and adjusting to it were two different things.

The guild members, watching from a distance like they were on a safari experience at an amusement park, all wore puzzled expressions.

Then, as they had every time for the past few days, they all poured their questions into a chat window they’d created behind Won’s back, as if they’d coordinated beforehand.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: I’m saying it again, that’s not Won, it’s Win, Wen, or something? Right?

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] If You Won’t Deal, Just Leave: Is the Guild Master crazy?

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Non-Tanking Tank: But I’ve been curious for a while, shouldn’t we invite Peach here too??

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: Ah, that.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: Sigh… I haven’t actually said it until now.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] FastAndPissedOff: Ah, here she goes again, starting her bullshit.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: I can… read physiognomy a bit.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] FastAndPissedOff: Ah f♡♡k.

‘FastAndPissedOff,’ spitting out curses as if his shift key was broken, cut ties with the chat window faster than anyone else.

He then clicked his tongue at his own foolishness for having listened and hopped into a dungeon for cosmetic item farming.

Naturally, ‘Cherry Coke’ continued chatting steadfastly whether ‘FastAndPissedOff’ cut ties or not.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: Anyway, according to the physiognomy I saw… Peach has the kind of face that, if we badmouth Won, will run straight to that punk and snitch on us.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: A cute and sly little thing…

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: But Noona, I’m asking because I’m seriously curious, do polygons have physiognomy too? If they do, I want to learn too.

It was a reaction so pure that even the ever-confident ‘Cherry Coke’ was momentarily speechless.

Everyone fell silent at the ignorance that was so white it practically emitted a beam of light.

When no one could continue, Coke Cola, who was at least the oldest and the first to come to his senses, replied with difficulty.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Coke Cola: True Wife… would… sigh… such a thing exist…

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: Ah, it doesn’t? I thought it did lol

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: No. It exists. You just have to think that you should avoid anyone with a face like Won’s.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: Noona, only the Guild Master has the Guild Master’s character customization. Who would copy that customization.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: Right, so avoid Won.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: Aw, but he’s still our Guild Master…

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: Even if he’s a simp and rude, treats us poorly, nags at the slightest thing, and treats us like slaves, he’s still our Guild Master.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: If we don’t take him in, who will ㅠㅠ

Another long silence followed ‘Nana’s True Wife’s’ words. What kind of mindset was it to curse him to his face but be kind behind his back?

​It was a silence just as long as the time someone made a mistake in the chat window and badmouthed Won right to his face.

After a long time, enough for the universe to be born and disappear again, ‘Cherry Coke’ used a ‘serious face’ emotion expression and spoke.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: F♡♡k, why do we have to do that? It’s not like we’re charity workers.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Cherry Coke: Anyway, for that reason, we’re not inviting Peach.

[Group ‘Death if Caught by Won’] Nana’s True Wife: But Noona, I have a confession to make.