KMYB | Chapter 62

"You hit the switch." Zhou Zeqi was trying hard not to laugh. After he laughed, though, he felt a little sour inside. Right now, he should have been able to kiss Xishui.

Xishui fumbled until he turned the vibration off. Zhou Zeqi then told him there should be another rubber cord in the box, threaded through the ring at the bottom of the toy, so if it went in too deep, you could pull it out in time.

"You have to sterilize it before you use it," Zhou Zeqi said.

Xishui put the toy on the nightstand. "I won't use it. I want to do it with you."

"Zhou Zeqi, go to sleep. Good night." It should almost be dawn back home by now.

After he hung up, Xishui slept for several hours. With the ten-hour time difference, it was still afternoon here, and it felt a bit like taking a nap after lunch.

When he woke again, it was already 9:30 p.m. Xishui heard faint voices coming up from downstairs.

Lan Lan had already arrived, and Xi He had also come back from the dance company.

When she saw Xishui, Lan Lan waved at him. "Xiaoxi!"

Lan Lan wore her hair in big waves, with no makeup on. When she wasn't smiling or speaking, there was a sharpness to her features. At school, she had almost no friends and had always kept to herself. It wasn't that no one had wanted to get close to her, it was that she herself had never wanted to develop an intimate relationship with anyone.

So she looked very happy. There was nothing worth lingering over back home. Wherever she went, she was free and easy, with nothing she couldn't leave behind.

"Have you eaten? Senior came back from the supermarket with some groceries. I'll make dinner for you," Lan Lan said, standing up from the sofa and tying up her hair as she headed into the kitchen.

Xishui hurried after her. "Let me help."

Xishui squatted beside the trash can and peeled garlic.

Lan Lan found it novel. "How do you know to peel garlic the second you walk in?"

Xishui kept his head down, peeling very carefully as he answered Senior Lan Lan's question. "Zhou Zeqi said so. It's a seasoning. You don't have to eat it, but it has to be there."

Lan Lan hated men.

She clicked her tongue, took some vegetables out of the fridge, and shut the door. "Is he bored out of his mind? He didn't teach you anything useful, he taught you how to peel garlic?"

"He didn't teach me either. Whatever he says, I remember it."

"Oh my," Lan Lan said. "Then can he remember anything you say?"

"No, I don't know." Xishui's legs were starting to go numb from squatting, so he pulled over a chair and sat on it to keep peeling. "It doesn't matter. That's his business. As long as I know he loves me, that's enough."

Lan Lan went, "Ooh, now that's a romance genius."

Xishui blushed.

Lan Lan cracked eggs into a bowl and whisked them with chopsticks as she said, "I went to the same high school as him, but we weren't really close. I was a dance student, and he transferred out of the sports class. The day he transferred, his mom went to school and slapped him over and over until she basically slapped him out of there. He refused to transfer no matter what, insisted on studying sports."

Xishui didn't know any of this. He froze. "Why?" He had met Zhou Zeqi's mother, Chi Xiu, a very young, beautiful, and cheerful woman, so it was hard to imagine her slapping Zhou Zeqi like that.

"His family is rich, okay? They've got a company that big. If he doesn't inherit it, who will? His older sister's health is poor, and what she studies burns money and needs connections. His dad also studied sports when he was young and only later started his own business. His dad has pretty severe high blood pressure, and he was still arguing with him, so his mom had to step in."

Xishui put the peeled garlic into a bowl. Just as he was about to speak, Lan Lan cut in first. "A family isn't a place where you reason things out. His family needs him to take responsibility, and only he can carry it. Of course he can say he refuses to be emotionally blackmailed by family and go live a free and easy life. Not just him, anyone can say that. But everyone has something that binds them."

Xishui thought that made sense. Even Senior Lan Lan had her beloved ballet. Even if it was a dream and a passion, it was hard to say it wasn't another kind of constraint.

"Senior, why are you telling me all this?"

"So you'll understand this person a little better. I figured that based on his personality, he definitely wouldn't tell you himself, and based on your personality, it'd be hard for you to figure it out on your own."

"Thank you, Senior," Xishui said softly.

"But," Lan Lan changed tone, "that doesn't change the fact that he's a jerk at all. Fighting, smoking, dyeing his hair…"

"Huh, he dyed his hair too?" Xishui looked up at her in surprise.

"I've got photos too. I'll find them for you when we eat. He dyed it green."

Xi He lived here. He didn't cook, but the kitchenware was fully stocked. He wasn't a top student, but he had an absurd amount of stationery.

Lan Lan made a plate of roasted chicken wings, stir-fried three vegetable dishes, and three boiled eggs that had already been peeled. The staple food was three half-ears of corn.

As Xishui gnawed on the corn, he felt like he'd somehow gone back to the dieting days before he met Zhou Zeqi.

Lan Lan ate very little. After wiping her hands, she sent Xishui a huge batch of photos, all from Zhou Zeqi's high school days. "We have a grade group chat, and the group has a celebrity album. His album has the most uploads. If you want, I'll organize a folder and send it to you."

"Okay." The first one Xishui opened was Green-Haired Zhou Zeqi. In high school, Zhou Zeqi's hair was very short, a neat buzz cut. That kind of hairstyle really tested both looks and head shape. Zhou Zeqi had sharp lines and three-dimensional features, so it suited him very well and made him look fierce.

Even though his hair was short, it didn't stop you from seeing the color at a glance. A pale grass green, very fair-skinned and also very bold and unruly.

He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt, squatting on the school flowerbed. His narrow eyes were full of arrogant contempt for everyone around him. A few people stood beside him, showing blue-and-white uniforms, staring blankly at the camera.

After saving the photo, Xishui sent it to Zhou Zeqi.

Zhou Zeqi took a while to reply.

[Shit, where did you get this?]

[Senior Lan Lan gave it to me. I'm with her right now.]

[Zhou Zeqi: Why are you with her?]

[There are only two spots for this exchange program. One for me, one for Senior Lan Lan. She also sent me a lot of photos of you from before. Do you want to see them?]

[No.]

Back then, Zhou Zeqi and Wu Fengyi had dyed their hair together. Wu Fengyi dyed his blond, Zhou Zeqi dyed his green, and when they got home, they each got beaten.

[Xishui: I'll call you when I go to sleep later.]

Xi He was washing dishes in the kitchen, and Xishui followed him over. The two brothers finally had a chance to talk.

Xishui sat behind him and asked curiously, "Third Brother, why did things happen between you and Giovanni?"

He felt like there was something strange between the two of them.

Xi He poured out all the leftover food and slowly put the bowls and plates into the dishwasher. He answered Xishui, "He pursued me. I didn't agree. That's all."

"But you hated him back then."

"Now I just don't dislike him anymore. Back then I was really anxious, because I knew not only local dance companies discriminate against Asians dancing ballet, even some people from our own country think we aren't suited for ballet. My mental state was really bad, and his relentless pursuit only poured oil on the fire…" Xi He paused, then sighed. "Xiaoxi, Big Sister found me a psychologist."

"But he's still circling around you now."

"I'm much better now."

After starting the dishwasher, Xi He washed his hands, dried them, and only then did he reach over and ruffle Xishui's hair. "I used to think I had to be first at everything, that it would be best if I could win on my own. Actually, doing my best and having no regrets is enough."

"Xiaoxi, I hope you don't follow in your third brother's footsteps."

Xishui hugged Xi He. "Then Third Brother, will you go back someday?"

"No." Xi He's answer was very firm.

Xishui looked up at him in astonishment. "Huh, why?"

"Even if I don't have to be first, I still don't want to lose."

Xishui blinked and said dryly, "Third Brother, do you want to change psychologists?"

A few seconds later, Xi He flicked Xishui on the forehead.

–

Xishui still needed some time to adjust to the time difference. He lay on the bed without the slightest bit of sleepiness. The phone showed it was 11 p.m. here, so back home it should be around… 1 p.m.

He replied to messages from family and classmates, then finally called Zhou Zeqi directly.

"What are you dooooing?" Xishui asked Zhou Zeqi on the other end of the phone. "We haven't seen each other for a whole day already!"

"Mm," Zhou Zeqi said. "I'm at home. Wu Fengyi and the others are here too. They're playing games, I'm reading."

Xishui was surprised. "They're playing games right next to you and you can still concentrate on reading?"

"It's okay. I'm used to it," Zhou Zeqi said, signaling to Wu Fengyi and the others to lower the volume a bit while putting on his headphones. He said to Xishui, "Have you eaten? What did you eat?"

"Roasted chicken wings, broccoli, tomatoes, corn, made by Senior Lan Lan," Xishui answered obediently.

"Was it hard to eat?"

"It was okay. I like the food you make more."

He couldn't really find much to say, so Xishui hugged the blanket and spoke in a low voice. "You have to take good care of Gardenia, okay?"

"Okay." Zhou Zeqi agreed without thinking, then glanced up and just happened to see Meng Kewen holding Gardenia on his lap and burying his face in her fur to kiss her hard. Gardenia was meowing from all the kissing.

"…"

"I'll call you on video after I finish this class," Zhou Zeqi said.

"Okay."

After that, Zhou Zeqi started paying close attention in class. Even if Xishui wasn't talking to him, just listening to the sounds on the other end made him feel at ease.

Wu Fengyi came out of the fridge carrying the tub of ice cream Xishui had bought two days ago and asked Zhou Zeqi, "Old Zhou, can I eat this ice cream? There's still more than half a tub left. If we don't eat it soon, won't it go bad?"

Zhou Zeqi lifted his eyelids and recognized it as something Xishui liked. "Put it back."

"Why?"

"Go get something else. This is Xishui's favorite."

Wu Fengyi switched to a few popsicles instead and tossed one to each of Meng Kewen and the others. He sat down hard in front of Zhou Zeqi. "What, you're planning to keep that ice cream for when Xishui comes back?"

Xishui heard the whole thing. He said to Zhou Zeqi, "Let him eat it. It's already been opened."

Zhou Zeqi didn't even like sweets, but he just didn't want anyone else to eat it.

Everything Xishui had left here was still sitting exactly where it had been, untouched, as if Xishui had only gone to class and would be coming home at night.

"You guys play," Zhou Zeqi closed the tablet. "If you get tired of it, you can sleep on the floor or on the sofa. I'm going to video call Xishui."

With that, he grabbed his phone and left.

Wu Fengyi stood there with his hands on the back of the chair, stunned for a long while before slapping the table. "What are you showing off for? Like none of us has a partner or something."

Zhang Kaitan said frankly, "But we don't."

"…"

Xishui waited until Zhou Zeqi had finished being busy before the video call finally came through.

After the screen went dark for a few seconds, Zhou Zeqi's face appeared. Not as handsome as the real thing, Xishui leaned close to the camera with eager eyes and looked at Zhou Zeqi. "You seem thinner."

"It's only been one day, thin my ass." Zhou Zeqi leaned against the headboard. Since Xishui was too close, he could only see the area around Xishui's eyes. "Baby, move farther from the camera. Let me look at you."

Xishui thought Zhou Zeqi really changed faces fast. One second he was saying "ass this, ass that," and the next he was all baby this, baby that.

But he still moved the phone farther away. He was lying down, though, pillow under his head, holding the phone up.

Zhou Zeqi could finally see Xishui clearly. His expression was a little off, and his lips were a bit dry.

"I'm coming to find you during National Day." Zhou Zeqi stared at Xishui and spoke slowly.

"Do you miss me?" Xishui's voice was a little hoarse. He cleared his throat. "Do you miss me a lot?"

"Mm, I miss you. I miss you a lot." Zhou Zeqi answered both questions Xishui had asked. "What about you? Do you miss me? Do you miss me a lot?"

"I do, I miss you." Xishui's voice grew even hoarser. His gaze stayed fixed on Zhou Zeqi. The sunlight on Zhou Zeqi's side was very good, making half his face look a little overexposed. "I miss my mom too. I miss Lin Xiaojin."

"…" Zhou Zeqi rested his left hand on the blanket. If Xishui were right in front of him, he would touch him, hug him, but separated by a screen, and by a ten-hour time difference, there was nothing he could do.

"I messaged Lin Xiaojin back on WeChat, but he didn't reply. I don't know what he's doing…"

Thinking of what Meng Kewen had let slip before, Zhou Zeqi said slowly, "Maybe he's about to start dating?"

Xishui immediately perked up. He sat straight up. "With who?"

"Wings."

"But Wu Fengyi is a clueless top!"

"Who told you Wings was a clueless top?"

Xishui held the phone in both hands. "He'd say, 'I'm really grateful,' 'thanks, Q,' 'family, family.'"

Zhou Zeqi laughed out loud. "He's not. He's just pretending."

"Pretending?" Xishui didn't understand. "Why?"

"Because of his family," Zhou Zeqi called Xishui's full name. "Why do you get so excited when we talk about other people? When you talk to me, you're so weak and listless?"

"I can shift my attention because I miss you way, way, way too much." Xishui leaned against the pillow and licked his dry lips. "Some of my classmates are also in long-distance relationships with their partners. I see them holding their phones every day, and I never thought I'd end up like this someday."

After listening to Xishui mutter for a while, Zhou Zeqi asked, "When do you report to the dance company?"

"Next week. Third Brother's taking me there, but I'm a trainee performer, training and studying with the other trainee performers."

Zhou Zeqi looked at the bright, glittering light in Xishui's eyes and guessed that he had probably never been treated like this before. After all, he had been the best in his class since he was a child, the center of attention, while trainee performers were already at the very bottom of the dance company, and trainee performers studying ballet were even lower.

But Xishui was an optimistic, positive little swan. He had come to learn, and he didn't care about those empty titles.

"Qiqi, you have to work hard at your internship too, and become a big boss later," Xishui said, now lying on his stomach on the pillow. "I'll work hard at dancing too, and become a high-level ballet dancer later."

"Also, you can only love me."

Zhou Zeqi took a deep breath. "If I don't love you, who else am I supposed to love?"

Zhou Zeqi had a natural need to control the things he liked, using any means necessary until he got what he wanted.

He also wanted to hide the things he cherished, not letting anyone glimpse even the smallest piece of them.

But Xishui was free, and shining, born for ballet. Everything about him ran counter to Zhou Zeqi's shameful longing, but love and restraint were closely tied together.

Seeing that Zhou Zeqi was feeling down, Xishui pressed the phone to his lips and gave a loud "bo".

Zhou Zeqi laughed. "Kissing me?"

"Not an ordinary kiss," Xishui corrected him solemnly and seriously. "My consciousness is tongue-kissing you."