GP | Chapter 1.7

But even that was not the same as becoming numb. It was only enduring it while waiting for a Guide.

So… wouldn’t it be better to help each other? I’m just a Guide waiting for an Esper too.

Seoh, as if under a spell, reached out. This was the only way for a hurting Esper and a Guide to feel better.

But just as his hand, moving slowly step by step, was about to touch Song Taejoon’s hand, Seoh suddenly hesitated.

“…”

Was it really all right to guide him however he wanted when the other man was in so much pain that he did not even notice Seoh approaching? Someone who hated it that much? Maybe this action of his was violence to Taejoon. That thought suddenly crossed his mind.

The instinct urging him to hurry and take the man’s hand before the pain got worse was caught by the remaining reason in his head.

Seoh shook his head and clenched his fist tightly. He was confused. What was he doing worrying about someone else when he could barely keep himself together? And yet he did not want to break Song Taejoon’s will, either. Was he… still more human than he thought?

He was wandering uncertainly, not knowing what to do, when…

“…Huh?”

Perhaps to endure the pain, Song Taejoon moved, and their hands unexpectedly touched.

For an Esper to receive guiding, the Guide had to open his power and there had to be physical contact between them. Even if the Esper wanted it badly, if the Guide did not open his power, guiding would not happen, even with contact.

The same was true for a Guide. Even if guiding energy was released, if there was no contact with the Esper, the energy would not be consumed at all. Even so, Yoon Seoh had always kept his power open, hoping even a little of the energy that kept building up would be released.

Because of that, the accident happened suddenly.

The instant Yoon Seoh, who always kept his guiding energy open, and Song Taejoon touched, Seoh’s guiding energy began to be drawn into Taejoon.

“…Hng.”

Seoh felt a dark, dense force so thick it caught his breath. If it had been an ordinary Esper, he would already have been on the verge of rampage. But this was the first body he had ever met that wanted guiding this much.

When a Guide guided an Esper, he could sense the other person’s state, and the energy in Song Taejoon was something Seoh, who had guided countless Espers, had never experienced before. But with the energy being pulled out of him, Seoh felt exhilaration before confusion or curiosity.

That was because the amount of energy Song Taejoon was taking was enormous. Normally, efficiency varied wildly depending on matching rate, but apparently Song Taejoon and Seoh had a very high compatibility.

Just from skin contact, and already this much.

His legs lost strength and he was about to crumple when he felt a force grab his upper arm and lift him. Raising his head, he met eyes flickering in a vivid blue. Eyes that wanted something desperately.

At the same time, unexpected guiding began. Seoh could not resist his instincts either.

The guiding energy, flowing into him from Taejoon, began to untangle the tightly compressed force. That was instinct. Guiding energy existed to unwind an Esper’s force. Opening one’s power could be controlled by people, but unraveling an Esper’s force was the guiding energy’s own will.

As it worked to loosen the tangled force, soften what was tightly knotted, and soothe the sensitized body, at that very moment…

“Ugh!”

Only then, perhaps realizing what was happening, Song Taejoon shoved Yoon Seoh away.

Seoh rolled across the floor with a crash and instinctively curled his body inward. It did not happen often, but sometimes violence came back.

He was tensed up before he could even feel the pain of crashing into the floor, when a strange silence fell. No footsteps approaching, no angry voice, just silence. Seoh, who had been curled up for a long while, felt the pain rising and carefully lifted his head.

Then he found Song Taejoon looking a little dazed. He stared at his own hand in confusion before letting out a dry laugh. The corners of his lips rose as if he were smiling, but it was not a smile.

He dropped his arm irritably and glared at the ceiling before slowly turning his head toward Seoh. His face was clearly smiling, but a chill ran through it. Seoh flinched and shrank his neck inward.

“Who told you to do that on your own?”

“…”

“Didn’t my words sound like words to you? The moment we touched, you went straight into guiding.”

Song Taejoon growled with obvious displeasure. He was irritated by his own instinct, which had rushed eagerly toward guiding, and by Yoon Seoh, who had tried to tempt him with guiding at a moment like this.

Damn Guide. He was sick of the way Guides acted like Espers were already in their hands.

And yet he could not forget the feeling from just now. It had only been a fleeting moment, truly just a brief guiding, but it had remained in his mind with shocking clarity. So much so that all the guiding he had received until now felt like garbage in comparison.

Yoon Seoh’s guiding did not match the nickname male whore at all. Rather, it felt like he had laid himself down in a transparent ocean so clear one could see straight through it. It was so clean and pure that he wanted to sink into it completely. It felt like being wrapped up and patted on the back with all one’s heart. If he had had even a little less self-control, he might have plunged right in.

That made him even angrier.

At the Guide Center, at Yoon Seoh, and at himself.

As if trying to shake off the sensation, Song Taejoon swept a hand roughly through the air. Perhaps because his emotions had grown intense, the water inside the aquarium resonated and rippled. The fish that had been milling around scattered toward the bottom and the edges.

“…”

Watching that, Seoh shut his mouth tightly despite having opened it to clear up the misunderstanding. Nothing he said now would be believed. No, the man had mocked him even when he said he was in pain, so whatever he said, he would not believe it.

His whole body hurt from being thrown against the floor so hard, but he did not show it and looked away. When he faced those blue eyes smiling with contempt, his heart dropped strangely. It felt as if he had truly done something he should never have.

By the time Seoh’s head lowered again, Song Taejoon had stood. Unlike his anger, he moved without making a sound and passed by Seoh, who was still sprawled on the floor, then went up to the second floor.

A moment later, he came back down to the first floor and left the house. Seoh did not know whether he had gone into the garden or outside entirely, but it was only after a long while that he finally lay himself down on the floor.

Everything hurt from before, but especially his right hip and pelvis. It looked like he had landed on that side when he fell.

“Ugh…”

A groan came out belatedly. Seoh rubbed the sore spot with a pained mutter. Even so, the pain did not subside. For a while, he lay on the floor and waited for the ache to lessen. Even then, his head remained tangled with thoughts.

He had to guide Song Taejoon, but he had no idea how to go about it now. Somehow, they felt even farther apart… he could not even bring himself to try.

“What do I do?”

Seoh let out a low lament with his cheek pressed against the cold floor. Then, suddenly, he remembered the sensation when they had touched.

It had not been intentional, but the force he had felt when the guiding happened, the force that was Song Taejoon. To unravel all of that, even using all of Seoh’s energy might not be enough. Only then did he vaguely understand how formidable an S-rank Esper truly was.

And that meant the pain would be severe too.

Rubbing his still-tingling arm, Seoh thought to himself.

Song Taejoon, one of only two S-rank Espers in all of Korea. How was he supposed to persuade someone who hated Guides and hated guiding? If there was an answer, he wished someone would please tell him.

Before he lost his reason from writhing in pain… that is.

Closing his eyes quietly shut off his vision, and darkness settled in. It felt like his current situation, so Seoh opened his eyes again.

Nothing changed.

The helplessness made his chest feel tight.

✿ • ✿ • ✿

Two days had passed since Song Taejoon left.

In that time, Seoh handled everything by himself, but there was one thing he could not solve.

He could brush his teeth and wash his face at the sink, but a full shower was impossible. The only place with a bathroom was Song Taejoon’s room, but he could not bring himself to sneak in. It had been one thing when he did not know any better, but he could not just go wherever he pleased in a place he had been told not to enter. No matter how desperate he was, he could not afford to be hated any more than this.

By now his entire arm, and from his toes up to his thighs, had gone numb with tingling pain. The nerves that had been lying dormant were standing up one by one, stabbing at his whole body like self-mortification.

Cleanliness aside, soaking his body in water eased the pain a little, so a bath was urgent.

After searching here and there, Seoh eventually realized the laundry room was the only answer. It was the only place where water came out and where there was a way to clean up afterward.

“…There isn’t a basin?”

But no matter how much he looked, there was no basin big enough for him to fit into. The only thing that could hold water was a pot, and it looked completely unused.

In the end, with no other choice, he went into the laundry room as he was. He placed the clothes he would change into on top of the washing machine and checked the faucet with the hose attached. Then he realized the problem only after the fact.

The hot and cold water were separate.

“…Ah.”

If he showered in cold water, he would only hurt more, so he never used cold water. This was bad. But he could not use only hot water either.

At a loss, Seoh fortunately thought of the pot and went into the kitchen. It would at least be better to carry water over. Taking the largest pot he could find, he went back to the laundry room. While he filled the pot with hot and cold water, he tried to take off his clothes, then discovered a second problem.

The toiletries he had brought from the Guide Center were only the basics. Toothbrush, toothpaste, and a bar of soap. He had managed with these until now because he could not find any daily necessities in the mansion, but to think he would have to finish his shower with just soap. If he had known, he should have asked the person who brought him here about everything and anything.