Bro | Chapter 66

“Xiao Yuan?” Wei Qian asked, somewhat stunned. “Didn’t I say… how come you still ran back?”

But Wei Zhiyuan didn’t make a sound. He only stared at him blankly, his eyes out of focus, his gaze so scattered it seemed to fill the whole room, with nowhere to land.

Wei Zhiyuan had gone to Wei Qian’s office to fetch some documents, and suddenly noticed that there was a key stuck into the very bottom drawer of the desk.

Wei Qian never locked cabinets, whether at home or at the office. Besides, he generally didn’t use drawers like that, the kind he had to bend down to reach.

Wei Zhiyuan didn’t know why such a strong curiosity had suddenly seized him. Later, he thought it was probably because he had been carrying a constant sense of unease all along. At the time, he quietly walked over and opened the drawer.

The drawer really was one that wasn’t used often. It still carries that particular smell furniture gets when it hasn’t been opened for a long time. A fine layer of dust lay over it. There was nothing else inside, only a physical examination report.

The hospital’s checkup service was very considerate. Not only had they bound the report into a booklet, they had also included detailed explanations afterward for every indicator an ordinary person wouldn’t understand. They had even listed a recommended treatment plan for a single mild cavity.

So when Wei Zhiyuan saw the words “shadow in the lung,” his heart instantly seemed to lurch and drop out inside him.

Fortunately, the doctor had also listed a whole series of possible causes of a lung shadow afterward, and had specifically noted that people who had previously suffered pneumonia might develop a pseudotumor because of inflammation.

This matter cast a shadow over Wei Zhiyuan’s heart. He came back carrying the things, weighed down with worry and absent-minded, and near home he almost ran a red light. He had to slam on the brakes to barely stop behind the line.

As a result, before the breath stuck in his chest had even had time to rise back up, Wei Zhiyuan heard that sentence from Wei Qian at the door.

He stood there in the doorway, deaf to Wei Qian’s question. Wei Zhiyuan only felt a buzzing in his ears, and his vision began to darken in patches. He involuntarily reached out to brace himself against the wall. His heartbeat clamored like autumn cicadas, yet inside him everything was icy cold. A chill rose from the soles of his feet, and in an instant froze even the endlessly flowing blood in his body.

San Pang was saying something to him. Wei Zhiyuan stared woodenly at his moving mouth. His wildly waving gestures were practically about to jab him in the bridge of the nose, yet he did not so much as blink, as though in that instant he had lost the ability to react.

His dead-stiff legs did not move a single step for a long while. Wei Zhiyuan even felt that if he dropped to his knees, he would never be able to get up again.

It was as if something had smashed all the bones in his body at once, leaving only a tiny, tottering bit at the joints still struggling to hold him up.

He knew no inner martial arts, yet he truly experienced for once what it meant to suffer qi deviation, what it meant for all hope to turn to ashes.

San Pang cried out noisily, “Qian’er, come take a look, what did this kid hear? I think his complexion’s all wrong!”

Wei Qian walked over and lightly patted Wei Zhiyuan’s face with his palm. “Xiao Yuan?”

Under his touch, Wei Zhiyuan’s scattered gaze gradually gathered into a single point. His eyes were cold and deep, like two wells with no visible bottom, damp and sinister, frightening to look at, unable to reflect even a trace of light.

Suddenly, Wei Zhiyuan swayed. He seemed to draw in a deep breath, as though he had just opened his mouth to speak, only to be choked by something all of a sudden. He jerked his head to one side and began coughing violently.

Wei Zhiyuan covered his mouth. He was coughing so hard he could hardly breathe, and his eyes reddened at once. Then blood began to run out through the gaps between his fingers.

San Pang let out a howl. “My mother! Why is there blood now?”

Wei Qian was startled too. “Xiao Yuan, don’t cover it, let me see.”

Wei Qian tried to pry Wei Zhiyuan’s hand away, but it felt as though he were touching a corpse that had already gone stiff. Everywhere was hard and brittle. He suspected that if he used too much force, Wei Zhiyuan’s arm might crack and fall right off.

Just then, Wei Zhiyuan suddenly stretched out a hand and seized Wei Qian’s uninjured wrist in one grip.

Wei Qian was pinched so hard it hurt sharply. He tried several times to pull his hand back, but he simply could not wrench it free. The top layer of skin felt like it was almost about to be rubbed off by that kid.

Wei Qian suspected Wei Zhiyuan had misunderstood something. Not caring that San Pang was still there, he wrapped an arm around Wei Zhiyuan’s waist and lightly knocked his wrist against Wei Zhiyuan’s rigid back. “It’s okay, your Ge’s still here, Xiao Yuan, Xiao Yuan?”

Winter was dry to begin with. Wei Zhiyuan had been overstimulated all at once, and his blood pressure had shot through the roof. The capillaries in his nose burst directly, causing a nosebleed, and one mouthful got choked back into his mouth. That was what created this horrifying scene, as if he were practically bleeding from all seven orifices.

After a good while, whether it was the faint effect of Wei Qian’s clumsy comfort, or because that choking fit had nearly made Wei Zhiyuan cough up his lungs, his reason finally began to return slowly.

Wei Zhiyuan realized something, released Wei Qian’s wrist, then staggered a little on his feet. He gently pushed Wei Qian away, turned, and walked into the bathroom, rinsed the blood clean out of his mouth, then pulled out a wet wipe and used its icy-cold surface to cool his nose.

What a mess, Wei Zhiyuan thought. He pressed a hand over the bridge of his nose. The dim light in the bathroom made him dizzy, so he closed his eyes and stood motionless for a while. He successfully blocked Wei Qian out of his mind for a brief moment, and only then did his breathing and heartbeat calm down little by little.

Wei Zhiyuan felt that his nerves usually only trembled very lightly within an extremely narrow range. Occasionally, when they were tugged a little harder, they would be stretched into a membrane the size of a palm. He had thought those “occasional” moments were already the limit, until just now…

That really had been the critical point. He had almost not made it back. Even now, he could still feel his taut nerves slowly shrinking back, that kind of mental pain like needles stabbing everywhere.

San Pang looked awkwardly at Wei Zhiyuan, then at Wei Qian, his gaze shifting back and forth between the two. He waggled his brows and made faces, and who knew what he was thinking.

Ten minutes later, the cooled-down nose finally stopped bleeding. Wei Zhiyuan cleaned himself up and walked out with a numb expression. He lifted the wrist of Wei Qian’s that he had grabbed before. That wrist looked exactly as if it had been clawed by a female ghost, with a row of distinct dark bruised finger marks left on it.

San Pang’s face twitched, and he muttered, “Good lord, how much force was that?”

Without saying a word, Wei Zhiyuan found some bruise ointment from the drawer where they kept their usual medicines, scooped out a little and smeared it over Wei Qian’s wrist, slowly but firmly rubbing it in. Wei Qian twitched in pain, and then was pressed back down motionless by Wei Zhiyuan.

After who knew how long, Wei Zhiyuan finally opened his mouth and asked, “What’s the story with the medical report?”

His voice was hoarse, his tone flat, yet it was like the stillness before a storm, containing tremendous force with mountain rain about to come. Wei Qian suddenly felt inexplicably guilty, and could not help glancing up at San Pang.

San Pang said, “Why are you looking at me? This is all because of you, you could scare a person into something serious. Stop the nonsense and honestly confess the whole cause and effect to the organization!”

Even now, Wei Qian could still feel that Wei Zhiyuan’s fingers were ice-cold. So he had no choice but to gloss over the important parts and tell him about his plan to undergo surgery. At the end, he deliberately emphasized that the tumor was benign, that there definitely would not be any problem. After San Pang’s bout of shouting, he had learned to wipe out frightening words like “most likely” and the like. After that bit of verbal packaging, it made it sound as though he really were just planning to have his appendix removed.

Although San Pang had said Wei Qian should explain it himself, on hearing this he still could not help peeking at Wei Zhiyuan’s expression and adding, “Right, your Ge’s not wrong, it’s nothing serious. We were just chatting about some old matter earlier, and you heard it wrong. Don’t take it to heart, whatever you do.”

“San-ge.” Wei Zhiyuan cut San Pang off expressionlessly. He rubbed open the bruising on Wei Qian’s wrist, pulled a paper napkin from the table and wiped the medicated fingers clean, then said in a completely level tone, “Do you believe what he said?”

San Pang: “…”

He scratched his head and realized that maybe he had indeed been a little too honest.

“I don’t believe a single word.” Wei Zhiyuan stared directly into Wei Qian’s eyes and said, one word at a time, “You don’t need to explain anymore. I won’t believe anything you say.”

Wei Qian: “…”

“San-ge, refund my plane ticket. If it’s urgent, have someone else make the trip first.”

San Pang asked timidly, “What about you?”

“From this moment on, I’m locking him in the house. Other than the hospital, he’s not allowed to go anywhere. Whether it’s going to the hospital for tests or for surgery, I’m going to be there the entire time. I’ll go explain the situation to the doctor. Everything, I need to be the first to know.” Ice shards seemed to seep out of Wei Zhiyuan’s expression and voice. After speaking, he even quite politely consulted Tan Laobam’s opinion. “You don’t have any objections to this, right?”

San Pang decisively sold out his friend and shook his head like a rattle drum.

“Good, then.” Wei Zhiyuan said. He did not even glance at Wei Qian. He simply stood up and said to San Pang, “I’ll see you out.”

So San Pang was “seen out” by him as though sleepwalking.

It was only when they reached the elevator that San Pang came back to himself. He looked at Wei Zhiyuan with all kinds of feelings mixed together and said, “Brother, whatever happens, try to think on the bright side. Your brother, well… sigh, that bastard really isn’t much good, but surely he’s not so unreliable that he’d be off the mark even on this. I think this comrade is still redeemable in terms of ideology. If he says it’s fine, then maybe it really isn’t anything major. You should try to relax a little too, okay?”

The moment those words fell, San Pang very clearly saw Wei Zhiyuan’s expression crack.

Wei Zhiyuan’s brows drew together sharply at once. His eyes reddened in an instant. The corners of his mouth twitched lightly, tugging off to one side, and it looked as if tears were just about to fall.

Yet the very next moment, Wei Zhiyuan raised an arm and shielded his face. A moment later he lowered it. Aside from the fact that his eyes were still red, he had already returned to that previous kind of nearly numb calm.

“Mm.” Wei Zhiyuan responded softly. “Thank you, San-ge.”

The elevator doors opened, and San Pang stepped inside. He watched Wei Zhiyuan’s tall body be shut out bit by bit by the closing doors, until at last only a narrow slit remained, then he was gone. Wei Zhiyuan had not said goodbye to him.

If something really happens, what will Xiao Yuan do? That thought could not help crossing San Pang’s mind. By the time he reached downstairs, he looked up at the towering, splendid residential building, and thought in some confusion, Back then, I tried every possible way to obstruct Wei Zhiyuan, tried every possible way to find Wei Qian dates and introduce him to girls… was I really right?

He could not imagine how deep one person’s feelings for another could go. Just catching a fleeting glimpse of it was enough to make his scalp crawl.

How many feelings like this are there in the human world?

San Pang stood there in a daze for a long while, then finally sighed, lowered his head, and left with a heavy heart.

Forget it, let them be, San Pang thought, and walked away.

When Wei Zhiyuan got back home, he really did lock the door from the inside, kept the key on him, and carried out his promise to lock Wei Qian in the house. Then he began a long, one-sided cold war.

At first, although Wei Qian was not used to it, he still had his own things to do. It was rare for him to be idling around at home with nothing to do. Watching TV, playing on the computer, reading books, there were plenty of things to pass the time with. But after keeping this up for two days, he finally could not quite take it anymore.

Wei Zhiyuan treated him like a lump of air. Aside from asking once in the morning and once at night, “Are you feeling uncomfortable today,” and asking once when he went out, “I’m going out to buy things, do you want me to bring you anything,” there was no other communication at all.

Wei Qian felt that he too had this cheap, contrary streak of “won’t go if led, backs up if beaten.” Back when Wei Zhiyuan used to sway around under his nose all day, it made his head feel twice its size and worried him to death. Now, even though Wei Zhiyuan was at home every day, he somehow had the miraculous ability to barely appear in Wei Qian’s line of sight.

Will saying one more sentence make your tongue twist? Wei Qian thought indignantly. But then he felt that if he took the initiative to go over, it would seem a little… humiliating.

Wei Qian tried again and again to start a conversation by hint and indirection, and failed every time. The words Wei Zhiyuan used to brush him off were all single syllables, “Mm,” “No,” “Okay,” “Don’t,” and the like, concise and comprehensive.

The first time, Wei Qian thought, That’s enough already, isn’t it? The second time, Wei Qian thought, Is this still not over? The third time, he thought, Fuck, and so he efficiently expanded the one-sided cold war into a two-sided one.

For several days, neither of them paid any attention to the other. When San Pang came over, uneasy and wanting to check in on them, the moment he entered he felt the atmosphere was wrong. One look at Wei Qian’s face, arrogant and sour like he owed the whole world money, and San Pang immediately understood. Before leaving, he finally could not resist saying to Wei Qian in exasperation, “You, at least grow a little heart, will you!”

Finally, on the night before he was to leave home, Wei Qian packed up his things before bed, planning to go be admitted to the hospital.

He thought, what if all the way there everything went smoothly, and once the hospital checked again, they found the situation had changed?

What if it really was malignant?

What if, even with a “99%” probability, he was that “1%”?

For one brief instant, he was afraid.

Yet all through the years before, when he had no one to rely on near or far, he had already grown used to being tormented by all kinds of fear. So after only a short while, Wei Qian calmed himself again.

Where would so many what-ifs come from, ptooey. Thinking this in his usual tough-minded way, Wei Qian reached out to switch off the light, then climbed back into bed and went to sleep.

Wei Qian did fall asleep, but not soundly. In the middle of the night he woke once. He turned over, stretched out the legs he had curled up, and his eyes opened a slit by accident, only to be jolted fully awake by the dark figure standing motionless by the head of the bed.

Wei Qian jerked backward and sat up on the bed at once. He stared at that shadow for two seconds. “Xiao Yuan?”

Wei Zhiyuan made no sound.

Wei Qian let out a breath and flung a pillow at him. “You nearly scared a heart attack out of me.”

As he spoke, he reached out to turn on the bedside lamp, but Wei Zhiyuan caught his wrist in one grip and stopped him.

Then Wei Zhiyuan slowly leaned over, taking advantage of Wei Qian’s half-reclining posture to press him firmly onto the bed, both hands enclosing Wei Qian’s shoulders as he held him in the dark without moving. After an unknown length of time, Wei Qian heard a sound like the sniff from a cold. He lifted a hand in astonishment and groped his way to Wei Zhiyuan’s face, only to find it wet all over.

Wei Zhiyuan avoided his hand, buried his head in the hollow of Wei Qian’s neck, and the breath he was desperately suppressing, still trembling, struck Wei Qian’s neck again and again.

Only then did Wei Qian raise a hand and gently pat his back, saying in a low voice, “It’s really fine. This time I really didn’t lie to you.”

His heart softened, to the point that he even felt somewhat guilty. Wei Qian actually felt that, emotionally, he was like a spoiled child, used to others letting him take whatever he wanted from them, as though all of it were only natural.

Wei Qian lowered his head and carefully kissed Wei Zhiyuan’s hair, gently saying in the tone one would use to coax a child, “After the surgery, I promise I’ll quit smoking, okay? Mm?”

Wei Qian had only ever been good at cursing people. Asking him to comfort someone else always gave off a feeling of professional mismatch, like he had wandered onto the wrong channel. The effect of that sentence coming out of his mouth was about the same as those lines in American movies like “When the war is over, I’ll go home and get married,” with its ominous implication, as if a thousand crows were circling overhead in one giant mournful chorus.

Wei Zhiyuan finally could not bear it and blocked his mouth.

But this was not a tender, affectionate kiss. It was more like a biting attack to vent his fury. Wei Qian had nowhere to dodge, and could only passively accept the whole thing without any power to resist. His head tilted back involuntarily, pressing hard against the headboard. The back of his neck, gripped in one of Wei Zhiyuan’s hands, hurt sharply, and even his lips had gone numb.

Only after an unknown length of time, when Wei Qian felt he was nearly suffocating, did Wei Zhiyuan finally let him go.

Wei Zhiyuan seemed to have calmed down by then. Avoiding Wei Qian’s not-yet-fully-healed injured hand, he braced himself against the bed board and bent over this person he longed for day and night, the very one who also stabbed him now and then.

“The road game project is progressing very smoothly. It’s inconvenient for me to go over there these few days, so I contacted a classmate on that team, also Chinese, and asked him to handle the investment payment side of things. We’ve also recruited professional operations and marketing teams now. Maybe by the end of next year we’ll even be able to launch the public beta.” Wei Zhiyuan spoke softly. “I’ve also handled the industrial park matter for you. We’ll probably set up a China office too, so I won’t have to keep running abroad all the time.”

Wei Qian had not expected him to suddenly say all this, and was stunned.

“You don’t need to think about anything. It’s okay to be afraid.” Wei Zhiyuan reached out and brushed aside the hair at Wei Qian’s forehead that had gone a little long from not being trimmed for quite a while, then lowered his head and lightly kissed his lips. “The last couple of days I was a little too wound up, Ge, I…”

It seemed that he wanted to apologize, but Wei Qian pulled the quilt over them, wrapped both of them in it, then turned over and pressed Wei Zhiyuan down to lie back, not letting him finish.

“All right,” Wei Qian said. “I know. Go to sleep. Come with me to the hospital tomorrow.”

He had understood what Wei Zhiyuan meant. If anything happens to you, then I’ll carry on everything you leave behind, manage your company, look after Xiao Bao, keep close track of every incoming and outgoing investment payment… as though you were still alive.

Until this night, even though Wei Qian had pretended to calmly accept everything wholesale, in reality, regarding the strange relationship that had developed between himself and Wei Zhiyuan, he had still felt there were a few threads of tangled emotion, impossible to cut through and impossible to sort out. But in the heavy night, the countless emotions entangled in his heart like lotus roots still joined by threads, link upon link, at last all sank down together from midair.

Xiao Yuan’s whole life has been ruined in my hands.

Thinking this, Wei Qian felt almost grief-stricken. He tightened the arm around Wei Zhiyuan’s waist and slowly rested his head against Wei Zhiyuan’s shoulder.

After Wei Qian was hospitalized and went through a whole series of examinations, the doctor arranged surgery for him.

Wei Zhiyuan carried a tablet computer. During the intervals while waiting for him, he consulted a traditional Chinese medicine doctor, recorded a huge amount of notes, then carefully organized them by comparing all kinds of materials. Anyone who saw him without knowing the situation would probably think he was a medical student preparing for licensing exams.

San Pang was worried and came over midway to take a look. He bought a bottle of drink and handed it to Wei Zhiyuan. “Go eat something. It’s still going to be a while.”

Wei Zhiyuan glanced at the time and shook his head. “No appetite. There’s no benefit in forcing food down. Let’s wait. I’ll feel easier this way.”

San Pang was silent for a moment, then sat down beside him. He lowered his head and glanced at Wei Zhiyuan’s tablet screen, then suddenly said, “Qian’er… your brother, that kind of person, I always feel he’s like the kind of apple farmers wrap up in paper bags.”

Wei Zhiyuan raised his head to look at him, a little confused.

“You may never have seen it,” San Pang said. “We’ve got a relative in the countryside who grows apples. First, they do it because they’re afraid pesticides will get on the fruit, and second, it also makes them look better. They put a layer of paper bag over the apples, and only take them off at dusk to let them get a bit of sunlight. Then the apples color up especially fast, especially evenly. When they bring them out to sell, every single one looks bright and beautiful. But if you actually buy them and taste them, then you know, they’re not tasty.”

As he spoke, San Pang sighed. “Your brother’s the same. Outsiders look at him and think he’s good however they look at him, but if you really live a life with him, it’s a totally different story. He’s the very top rank of being no good, that sort of thing. Bad fruit, whoever eats it knows. You… you know it perfectly well, yet you’re still willing to suffer through it.”

Wei Zhiyuan looked at him in some surprise.

San Pang avoided his gaze and went on talking to himself. “If you’re raising a stubborn donkey, then just take it as cultivating your character and tolerate him a little more… actually, my saying this is unnecessary anyway. You’ve already tolerated him for so many years. If I had a bastard brother like that, I would already have refused to live under the same sky as him.”

Wei Zhiyuan said, “San-ge, you…”

“That’s what I mean.” San Pang lifted his big fan-like hand and patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll go take a walk and see whether there’s anything good to eat nearby. That thing can’t go on eating hospital meals all the time. He dares to keep picking fights with you, not even letting you have peace of mind before death.”