KN | Chapter 20

He Was Wrong

Chen Wan’s heart dropped fast. Before he could react at all, he only heard a bang. The photon bullet cut through the wind and struck the bull’s-eye that had, at some point, moved behind him.

Chen Wan stood rooted to the spot, his mind completely blank.

The target on the wall was moving, it had only happened to drift right behind him.

Zhao Shengge chambered the gun. His protective goggles covered his face, making his expression impossible to read. He shifted direction and immediately fired another shot.

Raise the hand, fire the gun, crisp and decisive.

The mechanical female voice announced another ten in a row, ringing through the entire hall.

Less than a second separated the two shots. The reports exploded by Chen Wan’s left and right ears respectively, and countless images flashed before his eyes.

His face did not change in the slightest, but he was already drenched in cold sweat.

Zhao Shengge looked toward the bull’s-eye to confirm the score. Their gazes crossed for a ten-millionth of a second, the meaning obscure and impossible to decipher.

Chen Wan’s already startled heart jolted even harder.

He was almost certain, this was Zhao Shengge’s warning.

It was probably not to the extent that his little unspeakable thoughts had been exposed, but he must have done something that made Zhao Shengge uncomfortable, something that crossed a line.

Chen Wan’s mind raced as he rapidly replayed everything one by one, trying to guess what exactly Zhao Shengge was warning him about.

But he believed he had concealed it fairly well. Even Zhuo Zhixuan often said, I seriously doubt whether you even like him or not. That proved his acting should not be so clumsy.

So where exactly had the problem appeared?

Chen Wan could not figure it out.

It was not that he cared how Zhao Shengge saw him.

To Chen Wan, what kind of person he was in Zhao Shengge’s eyes was not all that important. In any case, there had never been any “how things should be” between them. At best, he should be a passerby with zero presence.

That would make it easier for him to do what he needed to do, without drawing attention, without alerting the person himself.

Chen Wan stood there motionless, thinking about whether his existence had already become a bother to Zhao Shengge.

If it had, then everything had gone in the exact opposite direction.

Everything he had done in the first place had been meant to let the other person live a little more easily. If he himself had turned into someone the other person found unpleasant and irritating, then there was truly no need for any of it.

That would just be making things harder for someone.

A secret crush should have manners. Secretly loving someone had its own basic laws.

Not alarming the person himself was the bottom line. Being silent and unnoticed was the principle.

There was no reason, and it should never happen, that Zhao Shengge ought to bear even the slightest impact brought by his feelings.

He had done wrong. Chen Wan pressed his lips into a straight line, and his heart sank all the way into the ocean trench.

When it was over, he changed first and went outside, waiting for the others by the lawn.

Haishi’s weather loved changing its face. One second the sun was blazing golden, then a cloud drifted over and everything turned gloomy again.

Chen Wan looked at his phone for a while, then walked over to the roadside. He followed behind a boy carrying a woven snakeskin sack and helped him pick up a few empty bottles that had fallen out.

The child jumped in fright and turned around to say thank you.

His face was flushed dark red from the sun, and only his eyes were especially black. Sweat ran all over him, and his gaze was timid. This area did not allow scavengers.

People were afraid they might offend some honored rich guest. He had sneaked across the road to get in, because on the stretches where scavenging was allowed, he could not compete at all.

Afraid of alerting security, the child slung the sack onto his back and prepared to leave.

“Wait a second.” Chen Wan unscrewed the cap and finished the black tea, then handed the empty bottle to him.

The boy hesitated and sized him up. Chen Wan extended the empty bottle a little closer in his direction, and only then did the child reveal a faint, shy smile and whisper another thank you.

Chen Wan knew all too well what he was afraid of. Looking at him, though it was hard to tell what exactly he was looking at, he said gently, “It’s fine. They won’t come over here.”

The child was a little embarrassed. Chen Wan looked at his bulging sack and suggested, “If you flatten the bottles, won’t you be able to fit more inside?”

“Huh?”

He did not speak Mandarin, so Chen Wan switched to Cantonese. He took one bottle out of the sack and demonstrated, flattening it, stacking it, tying it together. The movements were practiced and smooth, done in one go.

The child stared in amazement. Chen Wan said, “Together?”

The child joined in, and the two of them dealt with the remaining bottles in the sack.

Chen Wan chatted with him casually. “Where do you usually look?”

In a tiny voice, the child replied, “Dongyang Street.”

Chen Wan tied all the bottles into one bundle. “It’s not easy to find any there, right?”

“Yeah.” The child sounded very dejected.

“Then walk a few hundred meters toward Wong Tai Sin Park. There’s a small opening in the back alley off Temple Street. You should be able to squeeze in through it. The Shao residence’s security guards don’t patrol that far.”

The child glanced at him. It felt extremely out of place, almost bizarre, for someone with this kind of bearing and temperament to be teaching him how to scavenge. He did not quite believe him. “How do you know that?”

Chen Wan smiled. “Go there once yourself and you’ll know whether what I’m saying is true.”

“Oh.”

“Are you going to school yet?”

“Mhm.”

“Is it tiring, going to school and collecting bottles too?”

The child nodded.

Dust had rubbed onto the cuff of Chen Wan’s trousers. He bent down and brushed it clean, then simply crouched there by the side of the road, meeting the child’s eyes at eye level. “Why don’t you try treating it like an extra treasure hunt game?”

“A treasure hunt game? What can I find?”

Chen Wan was looking at him, and not looking at him. In a soft voice, he said, “I don’t know. That’s something you have to find for yourself. Everyone finds something different.”

The child grew a little interested and said, “Okay.”

Chen Wan helped tie up the mouth of the sack. His movements were practiced and efficient, as though he had done this hundreds upon thousands of times. He instructed, “This is enough to take to the recycling station and weigh out once. Don’t save up too much each time, and don’t wait until dark to go.”

At night, they would press the price down, and there were seasoned opportunists who waited to steal and snatch the fruits of other people’s labor.

The front gate opened and someone came out. The child was afraid of being scolded. He looked at Chen Wan with reluctance, then hurried away carrying the heavy sack. He looked back twice. His lips moved, but in the end he did not say anything.

The person who came out was Qin Zhaoting. He walked over to Chen Wan’s side and asked, “Was that some kid out begging?” He explained, “I’ve already had people step up the patrols, but it’s impossible to guard against everything.”

Chen Wan offered no comment and changed the subject.

On the second floor behind them, at the window of the innermost changing room, Zhao Shengge stood there, lowering his head to watch the scene downstairs while undoing his wrist guards.

Qin Zhaoting said something to Chen Wan, smiling brightly, and even clapped him once on the shoulder.

Chen Wan was smiling too. The smile he gave Qin Zhaoting and the smile he had given the rag-picking child differed in an extremely subtle way.

From the second floor it should not have been possible to see that clearly, but Zhao Shengge’s powers of perception were too sharp.

After everyone had changed, they came out one after another and walked together toward the parking lot while chatting. Halfway there, Chen Wan stopped and said he had left something behind. He told them to go on ahead without waiting, and turned back to get it.

He walked back with his head lowered, his hand clenched tightly.

He should not interfere. He had already made up his mind not to interfere.

There were so many pitiful people in this world. Chen Wan himself lived in constant fear and caution. He could not be anyone’s savior.

But.

The child dragged the overstuffed sack along very slowly, and Chen Wan caught up to him in no time.

The child turned back, face full of wariness. Chen Wan smiled and said, in Cantonese, “It’s me.”

The other boy’s eyes brightened for an instant. Chen Wan glanced at his toes, worn raw and bleeding, and asked, “Is there a phone at home? Or how can I get in touch with you usually?”

The child shook his head and gave him an address near Wong Tai Sin Park. It was one of his little hideouts. No one else knew about it.

Chen Wan did not say much, only nodded and said, “All right. Go bandage your foot when you get back. We’ll meet next time.”

The child kept staring at his retreating back. The setting sun gilded the young man with a gentle, holy rim of gold. He was like a god descending from the heavens, only to gradually walk away and disappear.

By the time Chen Wan arrived, the only remaining seat was the one next to the host.

This group of young masters usually ate their fill of delicacies from land and sea, so Qin Zhaoting had specially prepared some authentic homestyle Cantonese dishes today to give them a change of pace.

Even the dessert after the meal was put chai ko sold only by street hawkers in Luochang Bay.

There were many flavors, red bean, coconut, pineapple.

These people were only eating put chai ko for the sake of nostalgia. After all, it had been a snack that swept through Haishi back in their childhood.

In front of all the rich dishes, the light dessert was unexpectedly popular. When only one piece remained on the plate, Zhao Shengge and Qin Zhaoting raised their chopsticks at the same time.

The atmosphere instantly turned a little delicate.

Tan Youming lolled against Shen Zongnian, his eyes for a good show practically glowing.

This was not a matter of simply bringing out another plate. It was about this exact moment.

He had a mean little streak and loved watching people feel awkward. Whether Qin Zhaoting ended up awkward or Zhao Shengge did, either one would probably be very entertaining. In all his life, he had never seen Zhao Shengge embarrassed before.

Unfortunately, he did not get to watch the show he wanted. Wherever Chen Wan was, it was genuinely hard for awkwardness to arise.

Chen Wan asked Qin Zhaoting whether he wanted his portion.

Each put chai ko was served individually, and ever since the waiter had placed his in front of him, Chen Wan had not touched it once.

Qin Zhaoting had an easygoing nature, and Chen Wan happened to be seated beside him, so he asked casually. After all, they could not possibly let Zhao Shengge eat food from someone else’s plate.

Qin Zhaoting asked, “You’re not eating?”

Zhao Shengge saw those slightly curved eyes turn toward Qin Zhaoting as Chen Wan said with perfect courtesy that he was already full. If Mr. Qin was willing to help finish it, that would be ideal, otherwise it would go to waste.

Chen Wan did not like put chai ko. For these rich young men who were used to lavish food, it was a fresh little novelty to vary the taste. For Chen Wan, however, it was not tied to any good memories.

Back then, Song Qingmiao had hidden him in a tenement building less than ten square meters in size. No one looked after him. The slum was a chaotic place full of all sorts, and being bullied was an everyday occurrence.

The bigger children would throw the put chai ko Song Qingmiao had left for him into a dog hole and make Chen Wan fight dogs for food, or they would step on it and dirty it, then pin him down and force it into his mouth.

No matter how sweet the put chai ko was, Chen Wan could always taste bitterness when it reached his mouth.

Since Tan Youming had not gotten the show he wanted, he regretfully fiddled with Shen Zongnian’s phone.

In the end, the last put chai ko on the plate landed in Zhao Shengge’s bowl, but he only took a single bite.

Treating Zhao Shengge well was an impulse carved into Chen Wan’s bones. Seeing that he had barely eaten, Chen Wan subconsciously picked up the honeyed osmanthus seeds and wanted to say, Try adding this. But halfway through the motion, he abruptly remembered that he should not be doing things like this anymore, so he stopped himself and did not hand them over.

Tan Youming slanted a look at Zhao Shengge. “Now what?”

Zhao Shengge glanced at Qin Zhaoting, set down his chopsticks, leaned back in his chair, and commented, “Nothing remarkable.”

Chen Wan froze for a moment, lowered his eyes, and put down the osmanthus seeds. Qin Zhaoting directly took them from his hand and asked, “What is this?”

Chen Wan showed a smile so flawless that no one could detect anything amiss. “Osmanthus seeds steeped in honey. You sprinkle them over put chai ko.”

Qin Zhaoting asked, “Just add it directly? How much? Can you help me fix it?”

Chen Wan mechanically took his own portion of put chai ko over, added a small amount, and placed it in front of him.

Qin Zhaoting bit into it and said to the others with a smile, “I actually think it suits my taste very well.”

During the tea break, a waiter came in and set cigarettes and rolling supplies on the side table.

Tea cigarettes were fashionable in Haishi these days. Special tea leaves were mixed into the tobacco so that the nicotine carried the fragrance of tea. They were highly sought after.

Some wealthy people liked to affect refinement and refused to smoke ready-made cigarettes, insisting on rolling them by hand themselves. Because of that, restaurants and hotels had begun adding cigarette-rolling tools to their tea seating areas.

Chen Wan did not like attracting attention, nor did he go around currying favor and building connections, so he quietly stayed in the corner rolling a cigarette. Only after he finished did he realize he had rolled Da Hong Pao.

He felt it was inappropriate and immediately wanted to destroy it, but Qin Zhaoting saw it and exclaimed in surprise, “Chen Wan, is there anything you can’t do?”

Chen Wan shook his head and smiled. “I just did it casually.”

Qin Zhaoting asked, “What did you roll?”

Chen Wan had not yet figured out how to answer when Qin Zhaoting identified it himself. “Da Hong Pao.”

“Let me try it?”

Chen Wan was not very willing to give it to him. He knew perfectly well who it had been rolled for. Even if Zhao Shengge looked down on it, he still did not want to give it to anyone else.

“This one fell on the floor. It’s dirty. I’ll roll you another.”

He was bored anyway, so he rolled a few more. Zhuo Zhixuan liked Tieguanyin, Tan Youming preferred the sweeter Yinzhen, and he rolled a few other kinds as well. Whoever wanted to try one could come take it.

“Sure.” Qin Zhaoting took the one from his hand and set it aside. “Go on then. I’ll watch and learn.”

Tan Youming saw and immediately complained, “You two are secretly playing with the good stuff!”

At his shout, everyone came over to choose cigarettes, Baihao, Dancong, Zhengshan Xiaozhong. Zhao Shengge swept his gaze across them and saw Da Hong Pao lying alone in the trash can, its loose leaves scattered, mixed together with fruit peels and paper scraps.

Zhao Shengge stood there quietly for a while. No one noticed.

Someone had not brought a lighter, and Chen Wan offered his own with gentlemanly ease.

It was not a Cartier. It was a Zorro.

So, Chen Wan had many beautiful lighters after all.

Priced high, in truth very cheap.

The lighter returned to Chen Wan’s hand, and he casually slipped it into his trouser pocket.

After coming back from the voyage, he had changed the lighter he carried with him to the newest one, the best one.

But from now on, it would never be needed again.

Everything was beginning to lose its meaning.

Chen Wan had once been certain that as long as he did not alarm Zhao Shengge or affect him in any way, he could go on quietly dreaming his one-man dream forever.

But it seemed he could not.

The dream was about to end.