PC | Chapter 2.2

Without even putting on slippers, I hurried to the kitchen, poured out feed and clean water, and set them down at the feeding stand. When I took one last look around the house before leaving, the place was an absolute disaster. I wanted to clean it up, even just a little, but there was no time.

Jung Inhyuk had a near-obsessive level of cleanliness and organization, but strangely, he was lenient with me. Still, I didn’t want him to see the inside looking like a war had broken out. I put on my sneakers, praying he wouldn’t come inside the house.

I ran to the public parking lot with my padded jacket flaring behind me. The cold wind cut deep into my lungs, stinging inside every time I breathed. I arrived in just two minutes, though it would normally have taken about five to walk there.

Jung Inhyuk’s car was parked at the entrance, and Park Suwon was waiting by the rear passenger door. They said the wind chill had dipped below minus 20 degrees, and seeing him standing stubbornly by the car door in a suit jacket made my insides churn. This was why I had rushed out the moment I answered Jung Inhyuk’s call.

It was the summer when I was twenty-one. Back then, Park Suwon wasn’t his secretary yet, and Uncle Park, the driver, was handling Jung Inhyuk’s commuting. One day, Jung Inhyuk called and abruptly ordered me to come outside. My stubbornness kicked in and I dragged my feet on purpose, not going out until forty minutes later.

But when I opened the gate, Uncle Park, soaked through with sweat, opened the rear door with a completely exhausted face. Jung Inhyuk, looking fresh and dry, got out of the car. Then, in front of me, he walked up behind Uncle Park and took off his jacket.

The back of the blue shirt was completely drenched with sweat. Only then did I realize that Uncle Park had been standing like a stone statue in the blazing heat of nearly 35 degrees, with not even a scrap of shade.

-What the hell are you doing?

-What.

-It’s so hot out, what if Uncle Park collapses?

-Then it’d be because of you. You should’ve come out faster. If you’d moved sooner, Uncle Park wouldn’t have had to suffer out there like that.

-……

-Shinjae, your stubbornness might kill someone someday.

That memory, still lodged in my head, made me move. I ran to the front of the car, bent over, and gasped for breath. Park Suwon, having spotted me, reached out and opened the rear door.

A polished dress shoe stepped out of the car, and then Jung Inhyuk appeared. Park Suwon took the coat out of the front seat and draped it over his shoulders after Jung Inhyuk got out.

“Good work. Go on.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Park Suwon got back in the car and soon disappeared from view. I stared at Jung Inhyuk with a dazed expression. Was Jung Inhyuk going to my house? I bit my lip and waited for him to speak. He took the car key from his coat pocket and pressed a button.

In the parking lot, there was a car I’d never seen before, as if it had been brought in sometime while I wasn’t looking. Its lights flashed. It was a large SUV recently released by MuSung Motors. It was roomy inside and had become a popular choice among camping enthusiasts.

“Get in the driver’s seat.”

Jung Inhyuk opened the passenger door first and got into the car. I took off my padded jacket, tossed it into the back seat, and got into the driver’s seat. I started the engine, adjusted the seat, and fixed the rearview and side mirrors. I hadn’t noticed it while we were outside, but he smelled strongly of alcohol.

It was awkward sitting alone together in the quiet car, so I turned on the radio. Jung Inhyuk reached out and shut it off. Heavy silence settled over us again.

“Where are we going?”

“Kiss me.”

Startled by the sudden demand, I hesitated for a moment, then placed a hand on the passenger seat and slowly leaned in. The moment our lips touched, my heart jolted hard. A faint peppermint scent lingered at the tip of my nose.

When I parted his lips and pushed my tongue in, Jung Inhyuk cupped my cheek and gently sucked on my tongue. Then, as if he were giving oral sex, he closed his lips and sucked hard. It was only my tongue being sucked, but it felt as if my whole body had been pulled into his mouth.

Jung Inhyuk’s hand rolled up my shirt and invaded the back of my waist. The sensation of my body collapsing made me grab the car window in panic to steady myself. My handprints were left starkly on the glass as moisture began to cloud it.

“Hnng.”

Jung Inhyuk traced along my spine, then gripped my shoulder blade as if to crush it and shoved his tongue deep into my mouth. It wasn’t a soft, ticklish kiss. It was the kind that attacked as though he meant to devour me. His tongue touched every corner of my mouth, licking at the lining.

The strong liquor scent carried along his tongue made my head spin. Before I realized it, I was pushing against his shoulder and breaking the kiss. But he grabbed my collar and pulled me back, forcing his lips against mine again.

The hands touching my body, the tongue shamelessly rummaging through my mouth, the pheromones that wouldn’t regulate their strength, all of it felt wildly stimulating. Something that had meant nothing when I was a beta now heated my insides.

I had yielded to him countless times before, but this was a different kind of submission. Without my realizing it, my insides were slowly being dyed in Jung Inhyuk’s color. I felt like a ship slowly sinking, or one adrift after striking a reef. No matter how hard I struggled, I would sink someday. Tears I couldn’t explain slipped out.

At the sound of my quiet sobs, Jung Inhyuk broke the kiss and met my gaze. His expressionless, three-white-eyes stare fixed on me. Even when I rubbed at the tears streaming down my face with my palm, more quickly welled up again.

“You really do look like fucking shit.”

“I-I’m sor…”

“What did I even do to get you crying like this?”

I bit my lip and shook my head. This was humiliation Jung Inhyuk would never know, not even if he died and came back to life. Back when I was still a beta, I could resist with my body and reject him, but now I couldn’t even do that. I resented this body that acted against my will.

I wiped away my tears and tried to steady myself, but it soon collapsed like a sandcastle swept away by the tide. If only Jung Inhyuk were shouting at me, maybe even striking me, it would have felt less humiliating. My powerless body was disgusting and cursed.

Suddenly, Jung Inhyuk caught my hair and forced my head up.

“Open your eyes and look at me properly.”

I opened my tightly shut eyes and looked at him. Jung Inhyuk frowned and lightly tapped my cheek a few times. Looking at him hurt.

“Lee Shinjae, don’t think nonsense.”

“……”

“If you die, I’ll own you even if I have to chew up your corpse and swallow it.”

The chilling warning made my pupils shake. But soon they sank into stillness. What made this situation bearable, at least, was the anxiety Jung Inhyuk occasionally showed.

Maybe I was measuring my own remaining lifespan by the anxiety he expressed. The moment I had outlived my usefulness, Jung Inhyuk would mercilessly abandon me and tear me to pieces. Was I waiting for that moment, or hoping it would never come?

“Go to the back seat.”

The car window had fogged white with moisture. It had been a long time since the handprints on the glass were covered by condensation. Hot breaths kept escaping through my parted lips.

I was sitting with my knees up, clutching the back-seat headrest. Unlike the top, which was neatly buttoned without a single button out of place, my pants had been torn to shreds.

He had ripped the fabric apart by force and pulled my underwear aside, then prodded around the hole with his fingers. The feeling of his fingertips digging through the folds and scratching at them made me clench the end of the headrest in my teeth.

“It’s definitely wet inside the hole.”

His fingers, which had been rubbing over the folds, suddenly burrowed inside the hole. The feeling of being forcibly opened always felt filthy, no matter how many times I experienced it. But the sensation of being penetrated was clearly different from before. A short breath escaped me.

“Isn’t it exciting? It’s your first time since becoming an omega.”

“It’s not, a heat cycle yet.”

“Did I sleep with you on the date and just wait around for it?”

Jung Inhyuk’s voice was lazy now, probably from the alcohol finally rising in him. He was famously a heavy drinker in public, but in truth, he wasn’t very good at drinking. Still, in any drinking session he never refused what was offered and never left first. He would sit there perfectly fine, then pass out in the car on the way home. He endured drinking gatherings purely through willpower.

“Shinjae, your first time had always been me. Your first kiss, your first sex, and even your first love.”

I opened my closed eyes wide and turned to stare at Jung Inhyuk. His sinister eyes were on me. So you knew. You knew the feeling I’d never dared say aloud because I felt guilty. My vision went distant, and I couldn’t breathe. Jung Inhyuk, who had come up behind me and wrapped me in an embrace like an ambush, kissed my nape and whispered quietly.

“Could I not know when you licked me with your eyes like you were about to devour me? There were plenty of times I was desperate to lick those clear, innocent eyes that looked only at me.”

“……”

“Some days I’d even dream that I opened my eyes and you had become an adult, or that I was forcibly holding you while your face turned bright red from just my touch.”

Jung Inhyuk spoke calmly, as if making a confession. My shocked mind couldn’t think properly, and my thoughts kept breaking apart. I tried to push away the hand that had invaded my body and turn around, but Jung Inhyuk caught my neck and slammed me back down onto the seat. My cheek was crushed against the leather.

“The longest year of my life was the one when you were in your final year of high school. I counted the days like a madman, waiting for you to become an adult.”

“Ugh!”

“If that damn complication hadn’t appeared then, you would’ve become my secretary.”