E ⋆ Chapter 19

Yang Ke understood one thing very early on: his grandfather did not love him.

When he was young, he had convinced himself that it was because he was not good enough, and so he imposed strict demands on himself, wanting to do everything perfectly.

The reason he came to this conclusion was that the stories his grandfather told him about kinship and love made him believe he had to be excellent enough to earn his grandfather’s approval.

According to his grandfather, he had once had a kinship he could not let go of, and a love. The kinship was Yang Ke’s mother, Yang Nian, and the love was a woman named Zhou Qin.

Yang Nian’s birth mother had dated Yang Zhongyun. She was a Christian, and after breaking up with Yang Zhongyun, she discovered she was pregnant, gave birth to the child, and left her with Yang Zhongyun.

Yang Zhongyun named her Yang Nian.

He told Yang Ke that he and Yang Ke’s mother had depended on each other, and from childhood on, she had always been the most excellent and the kindest. After Zhao Sibei appeared, he destroyed the affection between father and daughter, emotionally manipulated Yang Nian, and made her become self-inferior and lacking in confidence.

So after his daughter was gone, he was determined never to let Zhao Sibei have any influence over Yang Ke’s upbringing.

Zhao Sibei’s account and Yang Zhongyun’s account were like a Rashomon.

According to Zhao Sibei, the person who engaged in emotional manipulation was Yang Zhongyun. He believed Yang Zhongyun possessed antisocial personality traits and was incapable of empathizing with emotions between people.

However, because his intelligence was high and his observational abilities were strong, he could perfectly disguise and perform affection and warmth, and people unfamiliar with him could not see through to his true inner world.

When Yang Ke was small, he thought his father was disreputable, and even during the monthly visitation times, he was unwilling to spend more time with his father. It was only as he grew older that he gradually changed his view.

Zhou Qin was a woman from Yang Zhongyun’s university days, the only person Yang Zhongyun said he had ever loved.

Yang Zhongyun did not say much about the details or identities between the two of them, only repeatedly describing to Yang Ke the scenes of their first meeting and their farewell.

“When I first started university, I couldn’t afford to eat. In the cafeteria, I only ordered a small bowl of rice,” he would always say. “That day in the cafeteria, I ordered rice again, and ate it while looking at the braised pork poster on the cafeteria wall. I turned my head, and there she came walking toward me, graceful and elegant, wearing a white dress, moving with such poise. She brought me a plate of meat.

“The day I left to study abroad, outside the airport, she wore a white dress too, with a red string on her wrist that I had given her. She gave me an envelope of money. I told her to wait for me, that I would definitely come back and marry her, but once I left, I could never find her again.”

Yang Zhongyun remained unmarried his whole life because of her.

Yang Ke believed Yang Zhongyun’s story, until that year when he was seven, when Yang Zhongyun brought someone home for the first time.

It was spring then, and the peach blossoms in the courtyard were in full bloom. Yang Ke had just come home from school and, stepping through the foyer toward the living room, saw several large cardboard boxes stacked there. He found it puzzling and took a few steps forward, when suddenly a woman in a white dress appeared before his eyes, with a face he had always seen on television.

On her wrist was a red string, and on the string was a very small diamond.

Seeing Yang Ke, she paused slightly, then stepped forward in her high heels with graceful poise, bent down, and said to Yang Ke: “Hello there. You must be Yang Ke, right? Your grandfather is always talking about you.”

Yang Ke, who did not know much at the time, stood there dazed, thinking of the story his grandfather had told, and seriously asked her: “Are you Zhou Qin?”

Her expression suddenly changed. His grandfather’s voice came from behind him: “Yang Ke.”

Yang Ke turned around. His grandfather smiled at him with a composed expression and told him: “This is my girlfriend, Miss Shen. Starting today, she will be living with us.”

Shen Jialin loved to laugh. During those months, whenever Yang Ke was home, he could often hear her laughter. She was the one who laughed the most among the several women his grandfather had brought home. But sometimes she hid away and cried, and Yang Ke had seen that too.

The day she left, Yang Ke was out of the province participating in a tennis tournament and was not at home. Later, the housekeeper told him that when Miss Shen left, she threw everything away. Not a single thing his grandfather had given her did she take with her.

During those years, Yang Zhongyun was fond of dating young actresses many years his junior. After only half a winter, a new person would move in, all wearing white dresses that Yang Zhongyun had given them, with eyebrows and eyes somewhat similar to one another.

Watching them come and go, Yang Ke realized that Yang Zhongyun was indeed, as his father had said, a person lacking in emotion.

He seemed only to love playing the savior, standing above everyone else, bestowing love and wealth upon people, and then easily, without any guilt, taking it all back. The love he spoke of was nothing more than an obsession with what he could not have and an act put on for show.

Later, Yang Zhongyun grew tired of playing the romantic, stopped bringing people home, and with time, Yang Ke forgot about all this. He never thought that one day, the past would be brought up again.

The summer before university was very hot, but for Yang Ke, it held special significance.

Yang Ke and Yu Zhinian received their acceptance letters and chose the same university. In a few days, they would be leaving Ning City, and freedom and escape from Yang Zhongyun seemed just within reach.

After that major surgery, Yang Zhongyun gradually withdrew from company affairs, distributing power to several successor executives.

In early July, he took Yu Zhinian to the mountains for recuperation, saying that during the last two months before Yu Zhinian went abroad, they should spend more time together.

On this afternoon in mid-August, Yang Ke was swimming when Yang Zhongyun brought Yu Zhinian home.

He emerged from the pool, wrapped in a towel. Beyond the lush shrubs, he saw two sedans drive in. He moved closer to the floor-to-ceiling glass, and the heat from outside reached him.

He had received a message from Yu Zhinian that morning saying “heading home.” From a distance, he watched Yu Zhinian get out of the car, wearing a white T-shirt, supporting Yang Zhongyun as they slowly walked through the gate.

By dinnertime, Yang Ke went to the dining room.

The dinner was much lighter than usual. Thinking of how Yu Zhinian had eaten such bland food for dozens of days at the recuperation facility, Yang Ke felt a pang of sympathy.

While eating, Yang Zhongyun suddenly looked at Yang Ke for a moment and said that Yang Ke seemed to have grown taller again. He asked Yu Zhinian and Yang Ke to stand together so he could compare their heights.

Yu Zhinian obediently stood beside Yang Ke. Yang Ke generally did not listen much to what Yang Zhongyun said, but not wanting to embarrass Yu Zhinian, he stood up.

Yu Zhinian was half a head shorter than Yang Ke, much thinner, with very thin wrists. His shoulders and back looked like they had only a thin layer on them. His hair needed cutting. It was somewhat long, soft against his pale skin.

He tilted his head slightly, looked at Yang Ke, and stubbornly said: “It doesn’t seem like you’re that much taller than me.”

Yang Ke smiled and asked him: “You think so?”

He then made a look of embarrassment.

After the meal, Yang Zhongyun called out to Yang Ke: “Come to my study for a moment.”

Yang Ke did not know what he wanted, so he followed him upstairs and, as requested, sat across from the desk.

At some point, Yang Zhongyun had begun to look smaller and smaller behind this large desk, revealing the appearance of an old man. When he sat down, he had to hold onto the back of the chair.

Yang Ke watched him from two or three meters away. Yang Zhongyun seemed to be staring into empty space, his mind blank for a moment, before his gaze turned toward Yang Ke.

“Yang Ke,” he said, “love is a precious and invaluable thing.”

Yang Ke did not understand what he meant and only felt disgusted by what he was saying, so he did not respond.

The afternoon sun shone through the study window onto the carpet, as if scorching the air inside the room.

“Since I became ill, I have been thinking about my will, and I have discussed several versions with Attorney Li,” Yang Zhongyun said slowly. “In the end, I settled on a very special one.”

“Do you remember Zhou Qin,” he suddenly asked Yang Ke. “I don’t think I ever told you, but Yu Zhinian is Zhou Qin’s grandson.”

Yang Ke looked at Yang Zhongyun. Yang Zhongyun’s face wore a satisfied smile. His skin was tan but somewhat translucent, with wrinkles and age spots scattered here and there, like some kind of disease spreading and creeping across the surface of his skin.

“After I returned to the country, I have been trying to find Zhou Qin, but it had been too long, and she was very difficult to find. It was not until a few years ago that your father’s colleague published an ethnographic study of Sanwen City, which mentioned Zhou Qin, who had died young.

“She left only Yu Zhinian as her descendant. I found a way to bring Yu Zhinian here.”

“I forgot whether I told you or not, but she actually worked in our university cafeteria,” Yang Zhongyun said, his eyes narrowing slightly, as if he were an ordinary old man sinking into memories. “When I left, the money she gave me was the bride price that someone else had given her. So after sending me off, she went back home. Her health was not very good. She passed away in her thirties.”

“She was my benefactor and my only love. Both by emotion and by reason, I should repay her,” Yang Zhongyun looked at Yang Ke and said. “I asked Yu Zhinian about it, and he likes you very much, in the romantic sense. He is very willing to accept this arrangement of mine where everyone is happy, and to accept my inheritance.”

“After a few years, when I am gone, there will be no one left to watch over you and take care of you,” Yang Zhongyun said. “Thinking about it this way, I really hate to leave.”

Because of the sunlight and the air conditioning, the study was alternately hot and cold.

He picked up a document from the desk and handed it to Yang Ke, smiling: “Come, Yang Ke, take a look at your grandfather’s will.”

Yang Ke walked out of his grandfather’s study. Yu Zhinian happened to be coming up from downstairs.

Yu Zhinian was wearing slippers and a loose white T-shirt, with a red string on his wrist that Yang Zhongyun had given him at some point. Seeing Yang Ke, Yu Zhinian seemed shy and gave a soft smile, saying: “You and Grandfather are done talking?”

Suddenly, Yang Ke’s mind was filled with the sound of Yang Zhongyun telling stories to him when he was young, and the laughter and chatter of the women who had come to the house during his childhood.

“I turned my head, and there she came walking toward me, graceful and elegant.”

“She brought me a plate of meat.”

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