WWC | Chapter 1

The System Forced Me to Be a Succubus, But I Damn Well Really…

The wind rose, and the gauze curtains stirred, as if he were falling into a sea of clouds and mist.

Su Tingyan hugged the jade pillow beneath him and rolled over.

The black shark silk canopy was tied up with golden hooks. A cold, faint fragrance filled his nose, something like plum blossom, yet not quite plum blossom, lulling him into a dazed sleep he was even less willing to wake from.

A boy’s anxious voice came from beside him. “My lord, my lord, you should get up. If you don’t, you’ll miss morning court!”

Huh?

He had not even finished attending 8 a.m. lectures, and now he was supposed to go to morning court?

The young man rubbed his face against the satin quilt and mumbled indistinctly, “Just tell the homeroom teacher that more than thirty of my ex-girlfriends all came looking for me at once, I can’t make it to first period today…”

Qinghai was utterly confused. “Who is the homeroom teacher? My lord, if you do not attend morning court today and are denounced before His Majesty, it will be troublesome!”

“Then tell His Majesty I’ve got hemorrhoids acting up, I need to go get a little cut…”

Qinghai: “…”

Su Tingyan still wanted to continue his blissful second round of sleep, when suddenly a string of ding-ling-dang-ling electronic noises rang out in his head, even more demonically addictive than the fruit ringtone he had listened to for years.

It drove him mad. He could not help sitting bolt upright and shouting, “I’m super aggressive, don’t provoke me!! I’ve got heterochromia too, the left eye is petty and the right eye is snobbish, if anyone dares disturb my sleep again, I’ll steal their ID card and sign them up for Boys and Girls Forward Rush!!”

After saying that, he flopped back into the soft brocade quilt.

System: [Even the system is helpless against a meme this dense.]

System: [Player, stop sleeping. If you keep sleeping, you’re going to be beheaded!]

System: [Player, I know you can hear me. Stop pretending to be dead!]

The system’s cold, magnetic voice droned on for a long while, but still failed to wake the person who needed waking. So it changed tactics, switched the alert tone to an ultra-foul phlegmy bubble sound, and began replaying nonstop:

[Get up! Stop living like a spoiled young master!! Get up! Stop living like a spoiled young master!! Get up! Stop living like a spoiled young master!!]

[Anyone who gets up at this hour is a winner who delights in the mortal world! The special forces king in urban novels! The top scholar in imperial examinations! The first-place winner at sports day! The champion mid-laner in League of Legends! The Jordan of basketball! The protagonist of Japanese manga! Darwin in the field of biology! Sherlock Holmes among detectives! A heaven-tier master in martial arts! A quasi-immortal among cultivators! A pleasure-seeker intoxicated by reality and life! A noble scion who won’t even look up when riches fall from the sky! The rejecter of all ugliness and evil in the world! The creator of all beauty and goodness in the world!]

Su Tingyan finally lost it. He opened his eyes and snapped, “Enough, get these trash memes off the planet!”

System: [Player, you’re finally awake!]

Su Tingyan only felt like he was still dreaming, talking back to the electronic voice he could hear but not see. “You are…?”

System: [I’m the system for the game [Succubus Prime Minister Development Simulator]. Player, you can call me Xiao Ling!]

Su Tingyan: “…” Have I finally been driven crazy by this cursed world?

The system was still calling out to him. [Player, player? Are you okay? Why aren’t you saying anything?]

Su Tingyan said, “I know. I must have split into multiple personalities, and one of them happens to be a thing calling itself a system. In fact, you are me, and I am you, except you’re the most abstract, most idiotically embarrassing side of me deep inside.”

System: […] Somehow it felt like it had just been insulted for no reason.

Su Tingyan kept talking to himself. “Since my soul is trapped here, then my body must already have been locked up in a psychiatric hospital, right?”

System: [No, player. You can rest assured, you’re not crazy. You really are not crazy!]

System: [You’ve just transmigrated, and you transmigrated into a yaoi harem mini-game as the succubus hunk of the year, that’s all!]

Su Tingyan: “………………” You might as well just say I’m crazy.

And what exactly are you telling me to rest assured about??

Just hearing that made him feel a little dead inside.

No, wait, it was his ass that felt a little dead.

Su Tingyan said, “This little Xiao Ling-er… no, do you have any other name that’s not so humiliating?”

He wasn’t into gay stuff, but he was thoroughly familiar with the culture.

System: [Player can call me Tongzi.]

Su Tingyan said, “Then, Tongzi… can you explain what exactly is going on now?”

He asked in utter confusion, “You just said this was some kind of succubus game simulator, but I can’t even get it up. Why would you specifically send me into this kind of little yellow game?”

The original Su Tingyan had never had a girlfriend, but he was actually not unpopular. His roots were clean and his features were striking.

But being good-looking was useless. He did not work, not figuratively, but physically.

Ever since, while in school, a roommate dragged him to watch porn and he realized that no matter how red-faced other people got, he himself remained calm as still water, even wanting to study why the male lead’s pelvic floor muscles were so strong, he had finally understood that he was sick, and of a rather niche sort.

It wasn’t that he had never tried. After years of seeing doctors, consulting specialists, and visiting every renowned physician he could find, all he ever got in the end was one line of nonsense: “Make sure to rest more.”

He slept so much he wished he could sleep thirty hours in a twenty-four-hour day, and he didn’t even know what else counted as enough rest.

Sometimes he even wondered if the doctors were trying to hint in their own roundabout way that only eternal sleep and being remade in the furnace could cure him.

But all the hormones Su Tingyan lacked had been transformed into motivation to study, and his brain was indeed excellent, at least a top student from a prestigious university.

A handsome guy who wasn’t greasy, wasn’t stupid, and wasn’t gay. It was easy to imagine just how popular he should have been.

If his hardware had not been up to par, his spectacular love life alone probably would have gotten him publicly ruined on the campus confession wall a thousand times over.

But because he was impotent, he was so chaste that if someone had put a guard mole on his wrist, he could probably take that thing with him into his next life.

And now they were telling him that they wanted him, this peerlessly pure university boy, to go be a “succubus” in a harem game???

This was like forcing a blind man to fly a plane. Creative, yes, but utterly inhuman!

System: [It’s okay, Player. Don’t you think when God closes a door, He opens a window?]

System: [Look at you, impotent. What a perfect innate condition for being the receiver! Born to transmigrate into a yaoi game and become a heartthrob!]

This one before that one, and after that one, there would be countless good men on top of him!

Su Tingyan: “…Go fuck yourself, do you know there’s a type called no-CP ahhh!”

System: [Hey! Player, don’t swear! Actually, this game is really fun!]

System: [The developer of this game once read a political intrigue novel called *Wanshi Quancheng*, and in the original there was a character she liked extremely much, named Su Tingyan. Coincidentally, he has the same name as you, and your appearance is about eighty percent similar to his, so she was very satisfied. That’s why she specifically chose you as the first person to experience this game.]

Su Tingyan said, “I choose to refuse.”

System: [Once the player is bound and enters the game, you cannot exit on your own unless you clear it. Think carefully. It must have been you who personally agreed to enter the game. The system cannot force you to transmigrate.]

Su Tingyan thought hard, and suddenly remembered something.

Yesterday was Thursday. He had received a bizarre message, a whole long string of it, almost as long as the thesis he had spent months writing.

He had thought it was another bullshit rant from a roommate and replied with a casual “okay” without even opening it.

He always did that. After replying with “okay,” he absolutely would not actually send the other person 50 yuan. It was just a way to mark that he had read it.

The more he thought about it, the darker everything went before his eyes. “That shitty copy text was the game invitation you sent me??!”

“Can’t you be a little more formal? Making it so casual really makes it hard for people to take seriously, okay?!”

“And just because I replied with ‘okay,’ you’re going to make me impotent from the waist down??!”

System: [No, Player, you won’t be impotent from the waist down! You are absolutely the protagonist of this game, no one can force you or humiliate you. If you want to clear the game and return to reality, you only need to save up 999999 points of charm value!]

Su Tingyan said doubtfully, “Shouldn’t this kind of game require being pursued to the point of death?”

System: [That wouldn’t pass censorship.]

Su Tingyan felt a little more reassured and continued asking, “Then how do you increase charm value?”

System: [Get slept with once, gain 1 point.]

Su Tingyan: “……..”

“You fucking say that again?!!”

System: [Although the only known method right now is this one, the game developer said there are actually other plots that can increase charm value, but those require the player to explore and unlock them on their own.]

System: [Simply put, you just need to keep progressing through the story and increasing your charm value, and then you can successfully clear the game and return to reality!]

Su Tingyan: “…” How is that simple at all!

And this game developer is really a living Yama. You get 1 point of charm value for being fucked once, but you need to save up a million points to clear the game.

Does she have some mortal feud with Su Tingyan’s ass??

After that, the system transmitted a copy of the original *Wanshi Quancheng* directly into his sea of consciousness, making it easier for him to read and understand the worldview and background.

Only then did Su Tingyan learn what identity he had transmigrated into.

Su Zhao, style name Tingyan.

Born in humble circumstances, but with ambitions that shook the nine heavens.

At ten, he took first place among the tongsheng. At thirteen, he topped the xiangshi, and from then on his name as a child prodigy shook the world.

At nineteen, during the palace examination, the Son of Heaven personally selected him as the top scholar of the first rank, and he entered office in dazzling splendor.

After that, he studied under the Grand Chancellor and devoted himself to the art of governing the realm.

At the age of twenty, he was promoted to Vice Minister of Rites, entered the cabinet to take part in state affairs, and later rose to Grand Academician of the Zhongji Hall in the Grand Secretariat.

At twenty-eight, under everyone’s expectation, he finally took control of the central administration, rose to the very peak of power, and became a pillar of the empire.

From a scholar in blue robes to Grand Chancellor of the Grand Secretariat, he had needed only ten years. His life was a true legendary tale of inspiration.

It was a pity that his ending in the original novel was not very good, which was why the fan who loved him had specially designed such a batshit insane game for him.

Since in the original he stood alone as an isolated minister and did not meet a good end, then in the game she would make the whole world kiss him hard.

The more Su Tingyan read, the more his heart started thumping. “But I’m just a university student, and you’re asking me to be a grand academician right away. Won’t that give me away?”

System: [Player can rest assured, once your charm value reaches a certain level, you can exchange it for relevant skills, and use those skills to protect yourself.]

Su Tingyan: ……..

This developer really is a genius. If you don’t want to be fucked, you have to use skills, but leveling up skills requires being fucked. Then what exactly am I leveling up for?

At the end of the day, isn’t this game still just about finding someone to fuck me?

Su Tingyan drew a deep breath, ended the conversation with the system, and entered the game.

He had now transmigrated to the exact moment when Su Tingyan had just become Grand Academician of the Zhongji Hall.

“Change clothes, prepare for court.”

He climbed out of that rigid bed and let the personal attendant named Qinghai dress him in that dark blue official robe.

By chance, he caught a glimpse in the mirror. His brows and eyes were bright and clear, like jade, like snow, carrying a worn, wind-beaten air.

He really did deserve the “beautiful” in beautiful, strong, and tragic.

Of course, considering the setup of this crappy game, he was also tragically miserable beyond belief.

As soon as he stepped out the door and had barely gone a few steps, dark clouds suddenly rolled overhead, and a torrential downpour came crashing down, drenching Su Tingyan completely.

The carriage entering the palace could only stop at the Meridian Gate, and there was still a long distance to walk to the Zichen Hall.

Qinghai hurried after him with an oil-paper umbrella, but could only barely cover half his body. “My lord, my lord, are you all right? Oh no, your robe is completely soaked!”

Su Tingyan looked down at the dark blue official robe clinging tightly to his body. The fabric was excellent, and once wet, it looked even heavier…

Fuck, this wouldn’t happen to be the legendary wet T-shirt moment, would it???

As expected of a yaoi little yellow game, it really came in hot right from the start.

Going to court looking like someone begging to be fucked, would the first plot be getting pinned down by the ministers in the Hall of Supreme Harmony??

He sucked in a breath. Just as he was about to tell Qinghai to skip work today and forget it, that cold electronic voice rang out again in his head.

System: [Random event triggered: Improper conduct before His Majesty. Player must reach the side hall of Zichen Hall within half an hour to change into a spare official robe and attend morning court. Failure penalty: charm value -10!]

Su Tingyan: “…?”

Does this shitty game even have any humanity left? Deduct charm value? Was his current egg-sized charm value even able to withstand that kind of deduction?!

Getting slept with once only gives 1 point, but a single deduction wipes out ten points of work!

Is the developer even human, I’ll eat her!