YV | Chapter 3

Sheng Xiaoyang’s mother was named Wu Amei, and both her eyes and her fate were bitter. Her first husband was a gambling addict. After she gave birth to Sheng Xiaoyang, they divorced. Then she found an alcoholic, and the ruined life only got worse.

When the alcoholic got drunk, he beat people. A tall, burly man straddled the woman and punched and kicked her, completely ignoring her howls, pleas for mercy, and the child’s shrill but soundless crying.

At that time, Sheng Xiaoyang was five years old.

Wu Amei asked for a divorce, and Qian Sheng flew into a rage. He flipped up the broken-edged tea table and smashed it hard against her, breaking four of her ribs.

“Dream on, you fucking bitch! You want to divorce me? I’ll beat you to death, then choke that little deaf bastard to death!”

Sheng Xiaoyang could not hear his mother’s cries for help, but he could understand her numb, frightened soul, because he was the same way.

Qian Sheng grabbed Wu Amei by the ponytail that was still loosely tied and not yet fully undone, wound it around his wrist, and, like a puppet, lifted her head high before slamming it down hard on the floor.

Pain to the depth of it made no sound.

The neighbors were used to it. There were some who could not stand it and came to knock on the door.

They said, “Stop hitting her. If you keep hitting her, you’re going to kill someone.”

Qian Sheng grabbed a beer bottle, smashed the window, and cursed, “Get lost!”

No one dared to interfere again.

The blood on the floor, never once dried, became the only spot in Sheng Xiaoyang’s childhood.

A year later, Wu Amei took Sheng Xiaoyang and ran, this was the bravest decision she made while trapped in enormous trauma.

Wu Amei had no money and was covered in injuries. She could not get far, so they stayed one night in a cheap hotel.

Qian Sheng found them, like a lingering ghost.

In the middle of the night, the wooden door of the shabby hotel was banged on with loud thuds. Wu Amei had taken sleeping pills, and she had not slept this well in a long time. Sheng Xiaoyang could not hear, and in that half-asleep, half-awake state he saw the shaky safety chain.

He went over and opened the door.

Wu Amei jumped from the fourth floor of the hotel, tumbling into construction waste. Rebar pierced into her back and through her chest.

From that night on, Sheng Xiaoyang never slept a full night again. Wu Amei’s bloodied body and ferocious silence became his inner demon.

Mom, I’m sorry.

Mom, take me with you.

Being alive is so meaningless.

Mom——

He could not make a sound, only a vague low murmur.

Boys could take a beating better than women, the alcoholic concluded from experience and preached everywhere when sober.

Qian Sheng lived in Wu Amei’s house. He used the only money he had to drink, and did not want to raise a burden. Using the excuse that Sheng Xiaoyang was mentally ill and liked men, he threw twelve-year-old Sheng Xiaoyang into a gay conversion center.

Sheng Xiaoyang stayed in the conversion center for three years, every day bombarded with medication, beatings, electric shocks, and mental indoctrination. The director made him watch porn videos every day, solo or group, men and women all there, and at the same time arranged for someone to feed him orange juice.

In the end, that orange juice, together with the reveling crowd on the television, was poured from his head down, sticking to Sheng Xiaoyang’s face.

Sheng Xiaoyang could not eat, he threw up every day, he hated orange juice.

At fifteen, Qian Sheng took Sheng Xiaoyang out of the conversion center without any preamble.

He said, “Dad was wrong.”

Sheng Xiaoyang could not hear his apology, and did not burst into tears of gratitude because of it, he knew a leopard cannot change its spots.

Qian Sheng did not beat Sheng Xiaoyang. Even when drunk, he did not beat him. He only demanded that Sheng Xiaoyang keep his hair long. If he did not obey, he would burn all of Wu Amei’s photos.

All of Sheng Xiaoyang’s thoughts were on those yellowed sheets of paper.

When his hair reached his waist, Sheng Xiaoyang looked in the mirror and did not recognize himself.

He did not like it.

For Sheng Xiaoyang’s sixteenth birthday, Qian Sheng bought a cake and orange juice, with no candles, and forced and coaxed Sheng Xiaoyang into eating.

After Sheng Xiaoyang ate one bite, he got dizzy. Seeing Qian Sheng’s sleazy smile, he already could not escape in time.

At the same time, a fat man in his forties came in.

Sheng Xiaoyang saw their mouths moving and vaguely made out this conversation.

Taken, not touched by anyone.

Very pretty.

Looks like his mother.

All right, you don’t need to pay back the money. I’ll give you another thousand after I’m done.

Thank you, boss. The mute won’t yell, let him have fun, come back again if you’re satisfied.

Later Sheng Xiaoyang learned that there was a group of perverts who liked clean boys, but insisted on dressing them up as girls.

The fat man carried Sheng Xiaoyang into the room, and that pig-like, foul-smelling body pressed down on him. Sheng Xiaoyang remembered the videos he had seen in the conversion center and wanted to throw up again. He lifted his hand backward and felt the scissors under the pillow, originally kept to guard against Qian Sheng.

Sheng Xiaoyang stabbed the scissors into the pervert’s stomach, pulled them out, the bloody cut opened, then snapped shut with a clack. The ugly soft worm, amid the terrifying screams, was completely turned into a mass of rotten flesh.

The resilience hidden in the depths of his eyes, for the first time, brought Sheng Xiaoyang out of hell.

The police were arresting people everywhere.

Witnesses said they saw a child jump into the river, and they searched for three days, with no sign of him.

Sheng Xiaoyang did not jump into the river. He had no strength to walk and accidentally fell in. He was lucky not to die, and after climbing out, kept running.

After fleeing to the back alley of Jiangping Road, he hid for five days and ate two steamed buns, one bowl of doufunao, and four bowls of braised meat noodles.

Very tasty.

It was a pity there had originally been five bowls, but one got snatched away.

It was not really snatched, it had originally been that person’s.

I was the one who snatched it from him.

Sheng Xiaoyang was finally caught, and did not resist. When he was escorted onto the police car, he actually saw Zhang Xu.

At first, in the detention center, there were many people, the big bullied the small, the old hands bullied the new sprouts.

Sheng Xiaoyang was always the one being bullied.

The cell space was cramped, fifteen people squeezed inside, and Sheng Xiaoyang slept next to the squat toilet.

He was too good-looking. At a time like this, in a place like this, that was dangerous. Those naked, greedy eyes did not even bother hiding.

Sheng Xiaoyang kept his head down and did his own thing, not interacting with them.

But it was useless.

One late night, with no moonlight, Sheng Xiaoyang woke up. Someone was on top of him, taking off his pants.

Things like this often happened in prison.

Little mute, little deaf one.

So tender, so pretty.

Sheng Xiaoyang could not hear, but he knew everyone around him was watching. They jeered and laughed, urging the man to hurry.

There were no knives here. Sheng Xiaoyang had teeth, sharp like canine teeth, to kill the enemy.

“Ah!!”

Sheng Xiaoyang bit off half of his ear, his mouth full of blood.

Beat him to death for me!!

More than ten people swarmed up all at once, and Sheng Xiaoyang suddenly seemed to be back when Qian Sheng was abusing him. He instinctively curled up, seeking self-protection, but when the doubled pain assaulted his nerves like a storm, Sheng Xiaoyang did not much want to live anymore.

Then let me die like this.

That’s fine.

He thought of his mother again. He apologized to her, with words too poor to say anything but sorry.

Sorry, Mom, I’ll keep you company.

Much later, in his blurry field of vision, his mother’s face was replaced by another pair of gentle features, like rainbow sugar in a cloud, sweet, sour, out of reach.

Sheng Xiaoyang did not know his name.

If he was alive, maybe there would be a chance to know later?

He thought.

The detention center police came blowing whistles and broke up the brawl with clubs. They treated everyone equally and locked the troublemakers in the dark room, including Sheng Xiaoyang.

After five days in solitary confinement, Sheng Xiaoyang kept running a fever.

He lived on, tougher than the weeds in the mud.

After seven months in detention, because of that half ear, no one dared to provoke Sheng Xiaoyang again.

When the verdict came out, five years, Sheng Xiaoyang was transferred to a juvenile detention facility, and after he became an adult, sent to prison.

His hair was shaved off, and Sheng Xiaoyang felt that prison was not bad.

Prison was more正规 than the detention center, and the environment could be called an unexpected bonus. Although there were still seasoned bullies, Sheng Xiaoyang had experience now.

There was a man named Lao Zhou in the same cell as Sheng Xiaoyang, in his fifties, looking at Sheng Xiaoyang with utmost affection.

Sheng Xiaoyang was on guard.

Lao Zhou held a stern face and poured out his heart to Sheng Xiaoyang. Alas, if my son were still alive, he would be about your age.

“……”

Sheng Xiaoyang could not hear, could not understand, and found it inexplicable.

He did not let his guard down.

The prison system was being implemented, allowing prisoners to learn knowledge and skills so they could adapt to society as soon as possible after release.

The prison leadership thought Sheng Xiaoyang was special, a hearing-impaired person, still young, unable to use sign language, and barely able to recognize a few large characters.

He was illiterate, that won’t do!

The Chinese are strangely persistent about literacy education. So they taught him hand by hand, and invited a sign language teacher to come teach classes, finally pulling Sheng Xiaoyang back from the ranks of the illiterate into the 21st century.

When Sheng Xiaoyang was not fierce, he was likable.

Although he almost never smiled and still looked fierce, Lao Zhou did not care, and praised Sheng Xiaoyang as a good kid whenever he saw anyone.

Later, Sheng Xiaoyang learned from someone else about Lao Zhou’s past. He had come in for murder.

Lao Zhou’s son had been abducted by human traffickers. He followed the clues and found the traffickers, while also tracking down the buyer.

He was still one step too late, his son was gone, and the fever could not be cured in time.

Lao Zhou was furious, with all reason gone. He grabbed a sickle and hacked wildly. The traffickers were badly injured, and the buyer did not make it back alive.

Someone like him, even going to prison, would earn a “damn impressive” from people.

Lao Zhou left his apple for Sheng Xiaoyang.

Sheng Xiaoyang lifted his wrist and gently tapped twice down and slightly forward, the motion very small, very restrained.

Aiyo, Lao Zhou’s old face warmed, embarrassed.

This was the second time Sheng Xiaoyang felt kindness from the world.

They became good friends, but Lao Zhou actually treated Sheng Xiaoyang like a son.

Lao Zhou got out of prison before Sheng Xiaoyang and asked friends still inside to keep looking after him, not to let anyone bully Sheng Xiaoyang.

A few years later, Sheng Xiaoyang also got out of prison, and Lao Zhou came to pick him up.

“Where’s your stuff, you didn’t go get it?”

Sheng Xiaoyang later learned lip reading, but he was not proficient, and it took him a little time to understand. He stood there blankly for a while.

I don’t have any stuff.

Sheng Xiaoyang gestured, exposing a little of his right wrist, with a black hair tie on it.

“It’s fine. From now on, buy whatever you like, buy a whole room full and no one will care!”

Sheng Xiaoyang did hope someone could care about him.

Lao Zhou wanted Sheng Xiaoyang to go with him to Guang City. He had friends there, and everyone either worked as a laborer or did business, in any case they would not starve.

“With me having a bite to eat, there’s definitely one for you too,” he said.

Sheng Xiaoyang refused.

Lao Zhou was regretful, but did not force him. He had one wish he could not bring himself to say aloud, he wanted Sheng Xiaoyang to call him Dad, very properly. Sometimes, even he thought this wish was outrageous, and Sheng Xiaoyang would probably beat him.

This kid hit people hard.

Lao Zhou gave Sheng Xiaoyang a slip of paper, with a string of numbers written on it.

“My number, call if anything comes up.”

Parting in life is an ordinary thing, mountains and waters flow on, and there will be a meeting someday.

Sheng Xiaoyang put away the slip of paper, the corners of his lips curving, smiling for once.

Leaving prison, and stepping into society, the complexity was extremely high.

Sheng Xiaoyang had no money in his pocket, and no survival skills either.

He did not want to starve to death, so after observing for several days, he found that the only way to make money with no barrier to entry seemed to be picking up trash.

But actually doing it was also quite difficult.

He had to fight people for territory, had to pick up one thing without missing another, and had to learn how to organize things so he could pick up more.

Winter passed, and Sheng Xiaoyang was twenty-one. He finally had savings, two hundred sixty-eight yuan and five mao.

Happy.

Sheng Xiaoyang put on a decent set of clothes and went to the train station. He stood in the middle of the plaza, blankly looking at the crowd hurrying past. A security guard came over at this moment, and Sheng Xiaoyang subconsciously wanted to hide.

He was used to being chased off when picking up trash. There were too many people here, it would not be good to make a joke of himself.

But the security guard did not even look at him, and went to the other side to keep order. Sheng Xiaoyang stood there dazed for a long time before remembering why he had come.

The train station was huge, Sheng Xiaoyang could not make sense of it, and he grew so anxious that he was covered in sweat. A volunteer came forward with a sweet smile to help, and asked, Sir, what do you need help with?

“……”

The two had a completely barriered conversation, neither understood the other.

In the end, the volunteer found paper and pen and asked him to write.

Sheng Xiaoyang’s handwriting was not good-looking.

He wrote, buy ticket.

The horizontal stroke in the middle of the word ticket had flown off to who knows where.

The volunteer wiped her sweat and guided Sheng Xiaoyang to the ticket window.

Sheng Xiaoyang pointed twice forward with his hand, thank you.

“You’re welcome!”

“Where do you want to go, you can write it down for the people inside.”

So Sheng Xiaoyang handed the money and the slip of paper to the ticket clerk.

It said, Su City.

“The fastest train is at 3 p.m.”

“Ten yuan change.”

“Have a pleasant trip.”

【📢Author’s Note】
Off to the mountains and seas~~~
Need everyone’s love, interaction, and encouragement QAQ