HH | Chapter 2.2

“It does not hurt. It is congenital.”

“Ah.”

Leehyup returned to his original posture facing the built-in wardrobe mirror. He unbuttoned his shirt and reacted as calmly as if he were worrying about a turtle’s lifespan.

“That’s a relief. I was wondering if it was unusable.”

His expression was so flat that Eunil, who had been on the verge of getting a little too sensitive, also calmed down. Maybe he had gotten used to the man’s rude way of speaking. Maybe it was also because there was a little bit of enlightenment in knowing there was nothing that could get any worse than this.

“Thank you for worrying about me.”

“…Not at all. I wasn’t worried.”

Leehyup turned around. He met Eunil’s eyes like water meeting a waterweed, then said,

“Even so, I think you’ll be fine, Eunil.”

“Ah…”

While Eunil blinked, unable to follow his words, Leehyup loosened his shirt and walked toward the bathroom. His healthy, sun-tanned naked body flashed into view for a moment before disappearing beyond the bathroom door.

While cleaning the dressing room, Eunil kept glancing toward the bathroom where he could hear water running. Or else he remembered the voice from earlier, when Leehyup had spoken his name, parting his white teeth and letting the sound roll off his tongue. Eunil. The pronunciation lowered especially softly and resonantly. His own name suddenly felt incredibly elegant.

Cha Leehyup.

What would it feel like if he said Leehyup’s name himself? Of course, there was no way in hell he would ever call it out, but you could always talk to yourself.

Cha Leehyup. Leehyup.

Eunil whispered it to himself. Then he immediately thought, What am I doing? and gave a helpless smile.

He did not seem like a bad person. If someone asked about the owner, Eunil had guessed he might be a difficult person, someone with an oddly silent air about him. But that suspicion was washed away today. Of course, that did not mean he seemed like a particularly good person, but he had more than made up for Eunil being naked by not demanding an explanation.

There were a few, a little unusual parts to the way he talked, but Eunil figured that maybe if you lived a life where everything was handed to you on a platter, you would not need to choose your words carefully, and he accepted that too, just like that.

Without meaning to, Eunil kept thinking about Leehyup. So when the water stopped, he hurried out to the living room like someone caught stealing, and had to rub his violently thudding chest. It was beating so hard his head felt dizzy.

✿ • ✿ • ✿

He arrived at the workplace a little before 10. The house was cold in a way it usually was not. The system air conditioner was running full blast. Leehyup, who should normally already have left for work, was sitting at the desk and staring at his laptop as if glaring at it.

Eunil greeted him, but Leehyup did not acknowledge him, as if he had not heard. Eunil moved closer, close enough that he absolutely had to be noticed, and greeted him again. Leehyup still kept his eyes fixed on the laptop and did not answer.

Oh, so he knew and was doing it on purpose. He was busy. Eunil understood. Someone like him would be an area a mere beomin could never understand, even if he died trying.

Eunil went into the laundry room and took the work clothes he had brought out of the shopping bag. They were already faded shorts and a shabby T-shirt with a neckline stretched out to the limit. It was natural to wear clothes you would not mind throwing away immediately as work clothes, but today he regretted his choice a little. They felt too shabby.

Leehyup was no more put together. Messy hair, oversized T-shirt, loose neckline. Because the clothes were designed that way, unlike Eunil’s, there was something almost like a painting about him, so comparison was inevitable. Of course, Eunil was probably the only one who cared. He let out a breathy laugh and quickly changed clothes.

It was always distracting to clean while Leehyup was openly sitting there. And yet it was also pleasant enough to outweigh that. He was good to look at. He was good to eat in front of. He ignored any question addressed to him like an invisible person, but that made it even better to steal glances. Every time Eunil looked at him, it felt like his aesthetic eye was improving, and that made him oddly proud.

Was this how people felt when they liked celebrities? Eunil, who was too busy keeping body and soul together to have a single favorite celebrity, found himself thinking that. The way his gaze kept drifting over there and the way he kept swallowing back sighs without meaning to, that was admiration too. Surely people did not like celebrities with romantic feelings.

After encountering Leehyup, Eunil had been thinking about him fairly often. Even the house, which looked like a model home, became someone else’s home in his mind, infused with color. Even mechanical work gained vitality.

Looking at the sink shining so brightly, he wondered if Leehyup would also be satisfied, if seeing the neatly arranged bedding would make him reluctant to disturb it, if he might think of Eunil a little while he was at it.

Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of Leehyup. He imagined his reactions. Eunil, who had found meaning in being satisfied with what he had done, was so naturally conscious of Leehyup as if it had never been otherwise that he began wondering if he was destined to live his life beneath others forever.

The moment he clicked the vacuum off, the doorbell rang. 11 a.m. At this hour, it had to be Manager Jo, the driver from the main house. Three times a week, Manager Jo came with food, and the menu varied from Korean dishes to salad to freshly squeezed fruit-and-vegetable juice, not to mention how delicious it all was.

“Huh, the house is cool today for once. Did you turn on the air conditioner? You should have done that sooner, it’d be so much nicer.”

Manager Jo flapped his shirt collar and bellowed with an already loud voice, “It’s 33 degrees, 33 degrees!” emphasizing the temperature outside. Then, noticing Leehyup through Eunil’s sidelong glance, he hurriedly greeted him, but even then Leehyup acted as if he had not seen him. Manager Jo seemed embarrassed and gave Eunil a lopsided grin.

Normally, they would offer him a drink or tea, and Manager Jo would sit happily in front of the island table, but today he hurried back with a gesture that said he was busy. Eunil felt a little disappointed. Having the two of them left alone again felt strangely hard to handle because the rising tension was so much to bear.

Now that food had arrived, Eunil was about to ask Leehyup to eat again, but gave up. Right then, the end bell rang from the washing machine, so he took out the laundry and moved it to the dryer, then went back and forth between rooms pushing the mop. By the time he was done, it was past 12. Only then did Leehyup straighten his back and get up.

“Eunil, get me some water.”

Eunil. The way Leehyup said his name was especially soft, and it sounded good. Eunil’s mouth naturally tugged into a smile, and he quickly composed himself. This was not some modern-day slave, after all. Even if the master tore up his slave deed, he would not feel this honored.

Eunil changed into clean gloves and brought over a glass filled with ice water. At Leehyup’s touch, the glass tilted and the ice made a clear, chiming sound. His masculine nape was exposed. Eunil looked at the Adam’s apple that rose and fell strongly, bobbing with every swallow, with a slightly dazed gaze.

“Why?”

“Huh? Oh, no. Ah, are you done with everything busy?”

Eunil asked awkwardly, smiling sheepishly. Leehyup just looked at him quietly, then set the glass down on the desk and asked flatly, “You’re interested, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I, huh?”

Still no context, so Eunil was flustered. If he were going to answer a flat-faced question with equal flatness, it should not have sounded so strange, but for some reason it did not, and a hot sensation spread to Eunil’s nape. Eunil was not the kind of person whose emotions rose very high, but with Leehyup, it was different. He got surprised, flustered, rattled, and for no reason at all, anxious.

“Our company, I mean.”

“Ah…”

He felt relieved at the unexpected meaning, and then a little stirred up, too.

“Well… everyone wants to get into a big company.”

“You too, Eunil?”

“Of course I do.”

“Why? This kind of work seems like it would suit you.”

Leehyup said that and stood up from his seat. When Eunil followed him with his gaze, he seemed to be about 10 centimeters taller.

“I find it satisfying. Watching Eunil clean.”

Leehyup’s gaze poured down on Eunil again. It slowly swept up and down, then stopped at the open neck area.

“You have good posture, too.”

Leehyup’s way of speaking was really strange. The subject would drop out completely, making it hard to understand, and sometimes it seemed like he was teasing him, but his expression was too calm for that. So Eunil also calmed down again very quickly.

It felt good to be acknowledged at all. Even if it was just for cleaning, even if it was for looking shabby. Especially because he was the kind of man who seemed like he would shrug it off if a bomber exploded next to him.

“Thank you for thinking well of me. Should I set the table? Manager Jo brought food from the main house earlier.”

“It’s fine. I want to rest a little, so just do your work.”

Leehyup rolled his neck on his stiff shoulders and moved to the armchair. He put his long legs on the footrest and kneaded his straight shoulders with a slow, deliberate motion.

“Are you very tired?”

“A little. I’m going to close my eyes for a bit.”

With that, Leehyup closed his eyes. Even though the languid tone clearly meant not to bother him anymore, Eunil still took one step closer.

“Your shoulders… should I massage them? My gloves are clean. I changed them when I brought you the water.”

His lowered lashes rose, lifting the lids. Cool, steady eyes turned squarely toward Eunil.

He had blurted it out without thinking, and Eunil was secretly flustered too. No matter how pitiful he looked, no, what was there to pity, he was just a helper. Even so, shoulders? What kind of helper was he, anyway? As if reading his mind, Leehyup spoke in that lofty tone again.

“That kind of thing probably isn’t part of a helper’s job.”

“You just looked really… tired… You’ve been sitting there a long time. Without moving an inch. Since I got here, that’s a solid two hours…”

Embarrassed, Eunil rambled unlike himself. If there was any relief, it was that his expression stayed calm, so his agitation would not show, but with Leehyup’s gaze lingering on his face for so long, even that seemed about to crack.

Then, in that very moment, Leehyup looked straight ahead again. The armchair’s back sank under the weight of his thick upper body, and his sharp eyes closed with deliberate slowness.