E ⋆ Chapter 30

Yu Zhinian’s room was very dark. Yang Ke sat by his bed for a while, his eyes adjusting to the darkness until he could make out the outline of Yu Zhinian curled up beneath the blankets.

These past few days, Yang Ke had ignored Yu Zhinian’s requests to move out multiple times.

He probably knew Yu Zhinian wasn’t happy. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk, but rather he didn’t know where to start. Because the moment he spoke, Yu Zhinian seemed to begin resisting.

Yang Ke didn’t understand why Yu Zhinian wanted to move out of the house, and he didn’t understand why Yu Zhinian was upset.

The day Yu Zhinian left He City and sent him a message saying he wouldn’t marry him, Yang Ke hadn’t understood. Now Yu Zhinian was back, they were married, and Yang Ke still didn’t understand.

He thought it would be nice if Yu Zhinian could be as simple as he used to be, or as obviously fond of Yang Ke as he appeared in his observation diary.

The first time Yang Ke saw the observation analysis log was on the laptop of a female classmate named Sophie.

They were in the same group for a certain class and were doing homework together in the library that afternoon.

Yang Ke was halfway through when he suddenly heard Sophie, sitting next to him, make an indescribable sound and call his name: “Ke, look at this.”

She turned her laptop screen toward Yang Ke. Someone in a message group had posted a bunch of photos of a certain notebook. She clicked on one and showed it to Yang Ke.

Yang Ke saw his own name on the first line. The handwriting looked somewhat familiar. Reading further down, on the second line, he saw Yu Zhinian’s signature.

This was the Yang Ke observation notebook from mid-October 2016, mainly recording one instance of Yang Ke getting amusingly angry. What was written was that no one had pressed the elevator button, and Yang Ke got angry.

It hadn’t been many days since the incident happened, and Yang Ke remembered it very clearly. That time, Yu Zhinian had gotten into the elevator late, stood closest to the button panel, and was chatting happily with classmates about some photo’s popularity or something, pretending not to see Yang Ke.

Everyone assumed Yu Zhinian had pressed the elevator button. Yang Ke’s group members started chatting too, and a bunch of people stood around in the elevator for a long time. In the end, it was Yang Ke who discovered that Yu Zhinian had been foolish and hadn’t pressed it, and pressed it himself.

Yang Ke felt that Yu Zhinian had slandered him in the notebook.

“He wrote hundreds of pages,” Sophie said quietly to Yang Ke. “It’s terrifying.”

Yang Ke was still thinking back when he heard her speak. He thought she was being overly dramatic and said “not really,” then asked her for the rest of the files.

That evening after getting home, he opened the notebook folder Sophie had sent him. Originally he just wanted to flip through a few pages to see what rumors Yu Zhinian was spreading in his diary, but in the end he read through all of it.

Some things Yang Ke remembered very clearly, others not so much. He felt that in Yu Zhinian’s notebook he seemed like someone who got angry easily, pushing Yu Zhinian away whenever he saw him. In reality, Yang Ke felt he wasn’t nearly as exaggerated as Yu Zhinian described.

After going to university, Yang Ke moved away from Ning City, and the depression and psychological shadow brought on by the inescapable mansion and Yang Zhongyin gradually faded. He agreed with what his father said: as long as he didn’t want to do something, no one could force him. Regarding the will that Yang Zhongyin had mentioned, he no longer harbored so much resentment, finding it laughable at most.

What was annoying was that in recent years, Yang Zhongyin would call Yang Ke and, in his habitual hypocritical tone, wrap his vigorous desire for control in a false, virtuous facade, repeatedly bringing up the matter of the will.

He also praised Yu Zhinian for being considerate, coming home during summer and winter breaks to attend to him, this decrepit old man, and would surely make a qualified partner in the future. He even congratulated Yang Ke in advance for finding a good companion. All of this made Yang Ke feel inexplicably baffled and deeply disgusted, not wanting to have too deep a connection with Yu Zhinian.

But after reading the notebook that day, Yang Ke somehow developed a feeling of sympathy toward Yu Zhinian that was similar to what he had felt before, yet different.

He felt that Yu Zhinian was indeed rather pitiful. So he read through the diary again.

Yu Zhinian’s notebook spread quickly.

Even Zhai Di, who had already graduated, heard about it and specifically called Yang Ke to inquire: “I heard you ran into a stalker.”

“No,” Yang Ke felt their wording was too exaggerated. “I’ve known him for many years.”

Zhai Di was shocked and asked Yang Ke what their relationship was. Yang Ke couldn’t quite describe it and only said he was the person his grandfather wanted him to marry.

“What era is this,” Zhai Di said incredulously, “and there’s still arranged marriage? Is he also treating himself as your… Does he have a delusional disorder?”

“He’s not that serious,” Yang Ke stopped Zhai Di.

Yang Ke thought the commotion from this incident would die down quickly, so he didn’t take it seriously. Sometimes when he finished what he was doing, he would flip through a few pages of Yu Zhinian’s observation diary for entertainment.

After a week, on Tuesday, Yang Ke had no classes and went to the hospital to visit Yang Zhongyin.

Yang Zhongyin said Yu Zhinian had come the day before yesterday and looked like he was in very bad shape.

“He seems to have been bullied at school,” Yang Zhongyin asked Yang Ke. “Did you know?”

After speaking, Yang Zhongyin coughed a few times and sat up. The caregiver poured him water and helped him drink some, but he pushed the caregiver’s hand away and the cup fell to the ground. He gave the caregiver a hard time: “Isn’t it supposed to be thirty-eight degrees?” Then he coughed violently again.

After coughing for a long time, he finally stopped and said to Yang Ke: “Zhinian would never make that kind of mistake.”

“Zhinian is as good as his grandmother,” Yang Zhongyin said wistfully.

Yang Ke found Yang Zhongyin’s expression disgusting. Yang Zhongyin was being disgusting toward Yang Ke, and also toward the absent Yu Zhinian.

In that aged face before him, like a painted skin, were buried the soon-to-fade tyranny and autocracy. On the surface it came on fiercely, but in reality it was already extremely weak.

“Is that so,” Yang Ke smiled at Yang Zhongyin and asked him, “if his grandmother is so good, how come I’ve never seen you take her along to study, or take her along to make your fortune?”

Yang Zhongyin’s eyes widened. Yang Ke paid no attention and continued: “Is it because she sold herself for you and the bride price she earned was only enough for you alone to spend?”

Yang Ke saw Yang Zhongyin cough violently again. Yang Ke stood by the hospital bed, watching him breathe hoarsely. The caregiver ran over, put an oxygen mask on him, and urged him not to get angry.

He gasped for a long time before finally calming down, staring hard at Yang Ke. He removed his own mask, pointed at the hospital room door, and told Yang Ke to get out.

Three days after coming back from the hospital, Yang Ke ran into Yu Zhinian in the self-service cafeteria.

Yu Zhinian stood alone holding a tray in the serving area. There were several classmates around him that Yang Ke recognized and several he didn’t, all looking at him with strange eyes.

Yu Zhinian looked much thinner, his wrists so slender they looked like they could snap with a single bend.

At least in Yang Ke’s memory, Yu Zhinian hadn’t been like this, so isolated. Yu Zhinian was always full of vitality, the type of cheerful, talkative optimist, like that Halloween night when he was fifteen, baring fangs and brandishing claws as he rushed up to scare Yang Ke, or writing out this tedious observation log about Yang Ke. It was indeed the sort of thing Yu Zhinian would do.

Yang Ke felt that Yu Zhinian was also a victim of Yang Zhongyin, not much different from Yang Ke himself. If Yang Zhongyin hadn’t found him, perhaps he would still be poor, not knowing the taste of wealth, not living the life he lived now. He would have been living in Sanwen with his little aunt instead, attending an ordinary university.

But at this point, Yang Ke suddenly began to reject such imaginings.

Yu Zhinian seemed to still be hesitating over what dish to choose. Someone nearby recognized Yang Ke and nudged their friend to look over. Yu Zhinian noticed and turned to look back.

He and Yang Ke made eye contact. His expression was panicked, like he didn’t know what to do, looking like he was about to throw down his tray and run.

Yang Ke walked closer to him and saw him gripping the tray very tightly. He told him: “I read your observation diary.”

Yu Zhinian became even more flustered and asked Yang Ke: “Really?”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized to Yang Ke.

When he apologized, he looked like he was about to cry.

Yang Ke’s emotions were very calm. It wasn’t impulsive. He had never seen himself as a hero and had no great emotional interest in people or things. He had no chivalrous impulse. He simply felt that Yu Zhinian had been constrained by Yang Zhongyin for many years and deserved some material compensation.

So he looked at Yu Zhinian and asked in English: “Do you want to come live with me?”

Yu Zhinian didn’t understand right away and asked Yang Ke, confused, “What do you mean by living together?” Yang Ke simply reminded him, “Doesn’t marriage require two years of cohabitation?” The supplementary legal provisions of the will were written very clearly.

Yu Zhinian was stunned for a long time again, as if he didn’t believe it, looking at Yang Ke.

Yang Ke grew impatient waiting and asked Yu Zhinian: “Do you want to or not?”

“Yu Zhinian,” Yang Ke called his name.

Yu Zhinian said “I do.”

That day was the happiest day Yang Ke had ever seen Yu Zhinian. For Yang Ke, this day was also quite good.

Most of the time, Yang Ke was unwilling to recall these things. He wanted to forget the past and only live well in the present and future. He believed that once they were married, they should properly get on the right track.

The unwillingness and hurt that had existed before, Yang Ke was also willing to let them disappear along with the past.

As for when Yu Zhinian began to change, began not wanting to spend time with Yang Ke anymore, Yang Ke didn’t know.