E ⋆ Chapter 14

Yu Zhinian hadn’t finished his meal when Yang Ke received a phone call from Zhai Di and left again with a somewhat sour expression.

Yu Zhinian returned to his room and received a message from Shao Xilin. Shao Xilin said he had just tidied up and showed Yu Zhinian photos of his clean home, then told Yu Zhinian that his previous offer still stood. He could still provide Yu Zhinian with temporary shelter for a short period.

Thinking of what Yang Ke had said about being able to stay “until you find a place,” and glancing at the suitcase he had left by the door, Yu Zhinian found himself deeply uncertain.

After going back and forth in his mind, he still didn’t open the suitcase. Instead, he went to the study first, wanting to see what books he had left there.

The study’s curtains were open, and he could see the green fields and sky outside.

The sunlight was nice that day. The afternoon light fell on the study’s light gray carpet, making Yu Zhinian feel quite warm, and his mood temporarily improved.

The desk was already covered with Yang Ke’s things. He didn’t approach it, only stood by the bookshelf, making note of the books he had left on the shelves.

Some he had bought at full price, some he had bought from seniors. They were all arranged by category and title.

As Yu Zhinian was recording, he spotted the copy of “Inca Culture” that Yang Ke had taken out yesterday. He pulled it out and took a look.

When he opened the book, he discovered that he had left many notes in it, and for some unknown reason, had also drawn some strangely posed little indigenous figures in the spaces next to the illustrations.

Based on Yu Zhinian’s understanding of himself, it was probably drawn while waiting for a group meeting to start.

As he flipped through it, he couldn’t help but marvel at how lively his notes were and how cute the little indigenous figures were. In his mind, he refuted Yang Ke’s inaccurate assessment of the book as “boring and sleep-inducing,” thinking that Yang Ke definitely hadn’t read all the books on the shelf, or he wouldn’t think this one was the most sleep-inducing.

He became so absorbed that he forgot his original purpose. He hadn’t even gotten halfway through when the study door opened.

Yang Ke walked in, saw him, and paused slightly. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Looking at what books are here,” Yu Zhinian answered honestly, then couldn’t help but add, “What’s boring about ‘Inca Culture’?”

Yang Ke looked at him without much expression, then closed the study door behind him with a backward motion. He walked over to Yu Zhinian’s side and leaned against him without much sense of personal space, looking at the book in his hands together with him. “What’s not boring about it,” he said.

He raised his hand and pointed at the little figures Yu Zhinian had drawn. “If it’s not boring, you wouldn’t be scribbling all over it like this.”

“Is this scribbling?” Yu Zhinian countered. “This is supplementary illustration.”

Yang Ke was silent for a few seconds, then said to Yu Zhinian, “If you say so, then it is.”

He withdrew his hand but didn’t move away from Yu Zhinian’s side. Yu Zhinian paused, then asked Yang Ke, “Are you going to work now?”

“I thought you wouldn’t be back this early,” Yu Zhinian said, raising his hand to check his watch. Yang Ke had only been gone for a little over an hour.

“Zhai Di wanted me to meet an investor,” Yang Ke told him. “The new fund raising is closing soon, so things have been a bit busy these days. They were having dinner, and I sat for a while before leaving.”

Yang Ke rarely used to talk this much to Yu Zhinian, and Yu Zhinian wasn’t used to it. Not knowing what to say, he closed the book and asked Yang Ke, “Are you going to use the study?”

Yang Ke looked at Yu Zhinian, as if thinking it over, then said, “If you want to read, you can keep it.”

Yang Ke’s tone was very accommodating, even friendly and polite, which left Yu Zhinian feeling unsettled as he stood in place, unsure whether to stay or to leave tactfully.

“Won’t I be disturbing you if I stay?” In the end, as if compelled by some inexplicable force, Yu Zhinian asked him.

They were standing quite close. Yu Zhinian really shouldn’t have dared to look at Yang Ke, but he did anyway. Yang Ke calmly said to him, “No.”

Yu Zhinian said, “Okay.” He randomly pulled a book from the shelf and sat down on the sofa across from the desk.

Yu Zhinian slowly turned the pages one by one, though he didn’t take in any of the content. He just sat quietly near Yang Ke for a little while.

In truth, Yu Zhinian and Yang Ke had never really been at daggers drawn. It was just that from a certain moment on, because of his grandfather’s will, and because of the affection Yu Zhinian could never quite hide, the special ease Yang Ke had once shown when spending time with him disappeared. He became resistant and withdrawn.

The atmosphere in the study that afternoon made Yu Zhinian feel that perhaps, because their relationship had come to its end, Yang Ke was willing to let go of the unhappiness and resistance between them and give Yu Zhinian a peaceful goodbye.

The room was quiet for a long time. Yu Zhinian’s mind wandered as he pretended to read, turning through about half the pages, when he suddenly heard Yang Ke ask, “Has Ning City changed a lot?”

Yu Zhinian looked up. Yang Ke had set his laptop aside and was looking at him. Yu Zhinian held his gaze for a moment, then said, “Quite a bit.”

“How long has it been since you went back?” Yu Zhinian asked. Since university, Yang Ke had never gone back with Yu Zhinian to visit his grandfather. Yu Zhinian always made the trip alone.

“Five or six years,” Yang Ke said. “I forget.”

“I’ve only been to New City a few times, to see my dad,” he added.

“Do you really dislike Ning City that much?” Yu Zhinian looked at Yang Ke and couldn’t help but say it out loud.

Yang Ke looked at him for a few seconds, then suddenly looked away. “Not really. I just don’t want to see him.”

Probably because Yang Ke really did seem to be having a final heart-to-heart with him, Yu Zhinian lost control of himself and replied, “You don’t want to see me either, right?”

He saw Yang Ke pause, look up at him, and after a moment, say quietly, “No.”

“I told you,” Yang Ke paused, then said to him, “stop always overthinking things.”

Yu Zhinian fell silent.

They didn’t talk much after that. They stayed in the study until five o’clock, when Yu Zhinian went back to his room to change into a suit and followed Yang Ke out to dinner.

The restaurant was in the center of the Luoser district. It probably hadn’t opened yet. The decor was very new, and they were the only two customers.

The head chef introduced each dish and paired them with different wines.

Yu Zhinian could hold his alcohol reasonably well, but Yang Ke’s tolerance wasn’t very good. Yang Ke usually didn’t touch alcohol, but that night, for some reason, he drank some. By the end of the meal, Yu Zhinian felt Yang Ke had drunk quite a bit.

This was because when the head chef asked about the dishes, Yang Ke coldly gave each one a score, which he generally wouldn’t do.

Seeing Yang Ke drunk, Yu Zhinian very much wanted to laugh, so he lowered his head and smiled for a moment. Yang Ke noticed, and was quite displeased. “What are you laughing at?” he said.

Yu Zhinian immediately said, “Nothing, I’m not laughing.”

They walked out of the restaurant. It was already very dark. The driver was waiting outside the main entrance.

After getting in the car, Yang Ke leaned back against the rear seat and closed his eyes.

Taking advantage of the fact that Yang Ke couldn’t see him, Yu Zhinian boldly studied Yang Ke’s face in the dim light, examining it carefully. Yang Ke’s face didn’t flush when he drank. If his behavior hadn’t changed so obviously, Yu Zhinian wouldn’t have been able to tell he was drunk.

Yang Ke’s breathing was steady, as if he were asleep, and he looked less unapproachable than usual.

After watching for a while, Yu Zhinian very much wanted to know if Yang Ke’s face was warm. He glanced up at the rearview mirror. The driver was concentrating on driving and couldn’t see the back seat, so Yu Zhinian carefully reached out and touched Yang Ke’s face with the back of his hand.

Yang Ke’s face was warm, neither hot nor cold, just a normal human body temperature. Yu Zhinian had only just registered this sensation when he moved to pull his hand back, but at that moment Yang Ke opened his eyes and looked at Yu Zhinian expressionlessly.

“…You had something a bit dirty on your face,” Yu Zhinian said nonsensically. “I was helping you wipe it off.”

Yang Ke looked at Yu Zhinian quietly. After a few seconds, he said, “Did you wipe it off?”

“Yes, I did,” Yu Zhinian said quickly.

Yang Ke then politely said, “Thank you.”

Yu Zhinian almost laughed but held it in, looking out the car window and pretending nothing had happened.

The car was very quiet. Yu Zhinian looked at the neon lights along the street, the streetlamps, and the deep black night sky. After watching for a little while, he suddenly thought that today might be the last time he sat together with Yang Ke like this.

He didn’t know who Yang Ke would get drunk in front of in the future, or who he would go to restaurants with. Yu Zhinian forced himself to think only up to this point and not let his thoughts go any further.

They passed over a bridge, and they would soon arrive at Yang Ke’s home.

Yu Zhinian heard Yang Ke call his name and turned to look.

Yang Ke’s face was in darkness as he asked in a tone without much emotion, “Do you think this kind of life is unbearable for you?”

Yu Zhinian didn’t understand what Yang Ke meant and made a small sound of confusion.

“Accepting the trust wouldn’t be bad for you, right?” Yang Ke said. “The shares and money he gave you, you couldn’t earn that in several lifetimes.”

He asked Yu Zhinian, “Why don’t you want it?”

Yu Zhinian looked at Yang Ke, still not quite sure whether Yang Ke was mocking him for not being able to earn that much money, or was simply curious about Yu Zhinian’s reason for refusing the trust.

“Why?” he asked again, as if he absolutely had to get an answer from Yu Zhinian today.

Yu Zhinian felt somewhat helpless. He guessed that Yang Ke was probably genuinely drunk, and he couldn’t figure out how to respond, whether to explain things clearly and thoroughly or to just make up an excuse and brush the question off.

Just as the car was driving through the gate, Yang Ke suddenly seemed to give up on pressing the question. He leaned closer to Yu Zhinian, pressed down on Yu Zhinian’s arm, and very slowly lowered his head onto Yu Zhinian’s shoulder.

His forehead rested against Yu Zhinian’s shoulder, his hair brushing against Yu Zhinian’s neck and jaw.

Yu Zhinian didn’t know if this counted as some kind of farewell ritual. He caught the scent on Yang Ke, the scent of someone already grown up, of work, of success, a perfume that was nothing like the laundry fragrance the housekeeper used in the Ning City villa from their childhood.

This scent made Yu Zhinian feel very unfamiliar with him, somewhat disoriented. He felt that the current Yang Ke was taller, more out of reach. There was no way he could ever catch up to him again.

“Yang Ke,” Yu Zhinian called his name.

Yang Ke made a low “mm” sound against his shoulder.

Yang Ke’s voice was like an electric current, seeming to travel through the skin of Yu Zhinian’s shoulder and reach his brain and his heart.

So Yu Zhinian didn’t say anything else. Very uselessly, he felt like a despicable, lawless, self-deluded thief. With the arm that Yang Ke wasn’t holding down, he very gently placed it on Yang Ke’s back, bringing about a complete embrace he had never had before.